From the Christmas 2004 PSA:
"Ah just get everybody the same thing."
"Let me guess, everyone's getting a lump of coal this year?"
"F*CK NO! Do you know how much coal costs? It's like, five bucks a ton. I'm not spending that much on you
losers. You're all getting a lump of smoal."
"What's smoal?"
"It's a knockoff synthetic coal, just as good as the real thing, except when you burn it, it doesn't make
any heat. It just makes smoke."
"What? How does it make smoke with no heat?"
"How the f*ck do I know? Ask the fine makers of smoal."