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Broken Hearts... How Fast Can They Really Mend?

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Recently i had my heart broken ripped out and or Shattered... by a man the never really loved me...I gave him 3 months of my life... and he still has a piece of my heart and soul taht i will never get back... but here i am 5 days later... not feeling a thing... whats your experience with Relationships and love ?... ===UPDATE=== i talked to my ex yesterday and i asked for closure... which i got and now we are friends.. ^^... lets see how this works out shall we ^o^

I'm just a girl
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CyanideBlizzard

Retired Moderator

CyanideBlizzard

Margarita Time!

It really depend on the break itself, and how close you are to another person.

It took me some time to mend and move on, because I was so close to my ex and we were such good friends and in one fell swoop, both bonds were broken. It hits hard the deeper you care about them, but that's a part of life. It makes you into a stronger individual and the most you can do is take those precious times you spent with them and remember them fondly.

Life is about heartache and joy ; D.

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Moonflower

Moonflower

treacherous~

My experience: I learned a lot from my past relationships and they all made me become more reasonable.

inside you're ugly..ugly like me..

SnickerdoodleNinja

Retired Moderator

SnickerdoodleNinja

Snicker-Logical

hmm, this might sound a bit dorky, but I still thought this was a neat example that a teacher of mine showed us:

My teacher had a student take some clay and mold a nice, neat, person out of it. Then, she had each of us remove part of the person and then later each reattach a piece. It looked nothing like the original, but it was still a whole, unique person. The point of the example? When loved ones hurt us, it breaks us appart. However, when others come along and help us out or we mend ourselves, we can heal and become whole again, though we won't be the same person we were before the pain-we'll be a new person who has become stronger for all the pain.

Yuki, he may always have a part of you, but that's okay. And maybe instead of thinking about "how fast" a heart can mend, think about "how well" a heart can mend. Then one day, you'll be an even stronger person who doesn't have to regret that previous relationship and can still move forward, one step at a time. Hope this helps and doesn't just sound over-romantic of me. >.<

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There's a skinny girl who lives inside of me that's trying to get out, but I can usually shut her up with cookies.
"Dance like no one's watching. Sing like no one's listening. Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt before. Live like there's no tomorrow."

fireflywishes

Retired Moderator, Linguistics

fireflywishes

Calgon, take me away~!

^ I couldn't have said it any better Snicker. (and btw... I love doing that exercise with my older students... except we use paper cut-outs of people and tear/rip/crumple them ^_^)

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thegunblademaster

thegunblademaster

Nine Is God

I know how you feel because I just went through the same thing. I came back from a 6 month deployment to find that my girlfriend was cheating on me. I was so heartbroken, that I shut myself off from everyone else. When I went on vacation, I spent most of my time alone in my room and even missed my little brother's birthday. It wasn't until I came back to MT and met someone very special that I was able to get over it. I can honestly say that if I didn't meet this person, I'd probably still be in bad shape. If you need to talk to someone about it, feel free to PM me ^^

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evelluchia

evelluchia

Lu-Lu the friendship officer

well a broken hear in some cases will never heal but in others it will but will take time to heal ive had something simaler happen to me and im still not really over it (i still try to stay away from him

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angelxxuan

angelxxuan

ぬいぐるみ !

my parents have been broken for around two years now, be 2 years the end of may, and neither one has stopped loving one another nor mended their broken hearts and are substituting others in the place of what they have lost. like evel has stated sometimes your heart may never mend, and sometimes that right person comes along to break the broken and start a slow mending towards the healing. it's a slow process but it can happen, but dwelling on it constantly will not help matters, it's like dealing with any situation, accept it, don't live in denial and move on, forcing yourself to move on isn't all that bad. just reflect on things, don't rush too quickly into another relationship and there is nothing wrong with feeling hollow and broken within. I'm sorry that your ex was such a douche but don't ever judge all people like him, chances are you'll stay single forever. take a chance, if this happens again it's not you, it just means you haven't found the right one for you :)

BuBbLeS!


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Quote by CyanideBlizzardIt really depend on the break itself, and how close you are to another person.

It took me some time to mend and move on, because I was so close to my ex and we were such good friends and in one fell swoop, both bonds were broken. It hits hard the deeper you care about them, but that's a part of life. It makes you into a stronger individual and the most you can do is take those precious times you spent with them and remember them fondly.

Life is about heartache and joy ; D.

Cy said it all. May your heart heal til you meet the one Yuki~

Marked by the outsider.Signature Image

===UPDATE=== i talked to my ex yesterday and i asked for closure... which i got and now we are friends.. ^^... lets see how this works out shall we ^o^

I'm just a girl
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angelxxuan

angelxxuan

ぬいぐるみ !

that's good yuki, now don't expect too much and I have seen ex's become a couple once again and if not there is nothing wrong, at all, for friendship. even though my parents are no longer together, they are both good friends, and that's it, just friends. so never forget that friendship is better than enemies or a brick wall between one another any day :)

BuBbLeS!


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shunyoo

shunyoo

-aNOther BODY-

For me it was kinda fun when i was little. I remember how high i used to get when i would steal a hug or a kiss from a cute girl... back then it seemed like the most beautiful thing in the world. As a teen it just felt like a confusing whirlwind of needs and wants that never seemed to be satisfied no matter how hard i tried... nothing made any sense at all for some reason. As an adult i have been staying away from "relationships" and "love". It just seems like a lot of work and i would rather use that precious energy on working on my goals n stuff. I think that love can be one of the most fulfilling emotions that you will ever experience but at the same time can be one of the most empty,painful, heartwrenching lows known to man ( yes, it can even make you think that you can not go on living anymore ). If someone rips your heart out and stomps all over it right in front of you, do not give up on love... Give up on hoping to be loved by that person. I guess.

Gather ye rose-buds while ye may,Old time is still aflying,And this same flower that smiles today,Tomorrow will be dying. Herrick

Quote by shunyooFor me it was kinda fun when i was little. I remember how high i used to get when i would steal a hug or a kiss from a cute girl... back then it seemed like the most beautiful thing in the world. As a teen it just felt like a confusing whirlwind of needs and wants that never seemed to be satisfied no matter how hard i tried... nothing made any sense at all for some reason. As an adult i have been staying away from "relationships" and "love". It just seems like a lot of work and i would rather use that precious energy on working on my goals n stuff. I think that love can be one of the most fulfilling emotions that you will ever experience but at the same time can be one of the most empty,painful, heartwrenching lows known to man ( yes, it can even make you think that you can not go on living anymore ). If someone rips your heart out and stomps all over it right in front of you, do not give up on love... Give up on hoping to be loved by that person. I guess.

o.O wow get out of my head.... XD... seriously... i wanna give up on him.. buit believe me.. he's been through Hell once in his life... i just want to be a friend to him to help... -sigh-... this is how i feel...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9W-4PMngAU

I'm just a girl
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shunyoo

shunyoo

-aNOther BODY-

I see. Well, the first time that things fell apart it was entirely out of your hands and he is to blame for that pain you still feel. The next time ( if things go bad again ) it will be entirely your fault. Well unless he is one of those people that have the ability to completly change and become a new person overnight. I wish you the best no matter what happens. This is how i feel........ DJ Ano - Blood Lovers

Gather ye rose-buds while ye may,Old time is still aflying,And this same flower that smiles today,Tomorrow will be dying. Herrick

Quote by shunyoo I see. Well, the first time that things fell apart it was entirely out of your hands and he is to blame for that pain you still feel. The next time ( if things go bad again ) it will be entirely your fault. Well unless he is one of those people that have the ability to completly change and become a new person overnight. I wish you the best no matter what happens. This is how i feel........ DJ Ano - Blood Lovers

-sigh-... he is bi-polar XD... and yeah... he's just strange like that... lol... i've actually become close to his best friend... God.... =.= do NOT get me started on that... but he's someone who knows him well enough to be able to help me through this... -.-... and his sister... i swear she's my long lost twin XD... anyway another song that i found that reated to me and my ex is"Dear John" by Taylor Swift... XD... my stalker

John = My ex
"girl in the dress" = his cousin
"19 and long list of traders" = one of my friends... lots of back stabbing friends..
"they" = most of friends telling me he wasn't the right one
and the narrator is me...

I'm just a girl
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shunyoo

shunyoo

-aNOther BODY-

I have some friends and family members that are in the same condition as your boyfriend. I never thought anything was strange about a certain way they behaved sometimes. To me, it seemed like that they were not suffering in any way. Everything always seemed "normal" and i thought that they ( those suffering ) were just having a bad day like the rest of us. I don't say that to be akward .. i say that because those humans close to me that were later "diagnosed" with the condition never seemed any different than any other family member or friend that i have. I believe in 2nd chances.. It's just you threw me off when you said that he " never really loved you " when i have love problems i listen to..... Turret Error - Ephixa

Gather ye rose-buds while ye may,Old time is still aflying,And this same flower that smiles today,Tomorrow will be dying. Herrick

Quote by shunyooI have some friends and family members that are in the same condition as your boyfriend. I never thought anything was strange about a certain way they behaved sometimes. To me, it seemed like that they were not suffering in any way. Everything always seemed "normal" and i thought that they ( those suffering ) were just having a bad day like the rest of us. I don't say that to be akward .. i say that because those humans close to me that were later "diagnosed" with the condition never seemed any different than any other family member or friend that i have. I believe in 2nd chances.. It's just you threw me off when you said that he " never really loved you " when i have love problems i listen to..... Turret Error - Ephixa

-sigh-... he is my Ex-by.... and yeah... its a long story... trust me.. a long and painful one at that... and i've and a few friend with teh same problem as him... -.-.... and no matter how hard i try... i can't let go... -sigh-.... how i feel is... "here we go again" and "skyscraper" by demi lovato .... i can't be with OR without him/... and no matter how much he tries to tare me down.. i will be rising from the ground.. like a skyscraper XD

I'm just a girl
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shunyoo

shunyoo

-aNOther BODY-

I know that you two are not a couple anymore. I just viewed it as he is a boy and he is your friend. You seem tired and emotionally drained to me ( thanks for reminding me about the gloriuos choice i made to stay single ) . You also said that you are starting to " get close to his best friend ". I think you should learn some self control with those emotions of yours * . * because not all things that feel good are always good for us. No one says that you have to let go. Maybe the love that has grown between you is strong enough to break through any conditions or past mistakes that were made. If not this may.... Veela - Night Vision ( Ephixa Vocal Dubstep Mix )

Gather ye rose-buds while ye may,Old time is still aflying,And this same flower that smiles today,Tomorrow will be dying. Herrick

Quote by shunyoo I know that you two are not a couple anymore. I just viewed it as he is a boy and he is your friend. You seem tired and emotionally drained to me ( thanks for reminding me about the gloriuos choice i made to stay single ) . You also said that you are starting to " get close to his best friend ". I think you should learn some self control with those emotions of yours * . * because not all things that feel good are always good for us. No one says that you have to let go. Maybe the love that has grown between you is strong enough to break through any conditions or past mistakes that were made. If not this may.... Veela - Night Vision ( Ephixa Vocal Dubstep Mix )

yeah i am drained... majorly... and his best friend... is just a really compassionate person... i'm like best friends with his sister XD... we just tease him alot XD.... and believe me... if love is giving up on me i'm giving up on love... Link Name... < Kerosene by Miranda Lambert... yes i'm really into country music XD

I'm just a girl
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