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- Dec 02, 2011
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first and foremost if you're not ready and/or have time and prefer to do a career first, then go for it. no one says you have to date, let alone settle on "ownership" to one person. there's also no rules stating you can't date them both and see which one you like. this is you after all, so you know yourself more than I might, but if it was me, I would do the career/school first and then go from there. however if they wish to be friends and remain friends until you're ready then that means they are the one. but if you feel the need to date, then go with the one that you feel more at ease with that doesn't suck you in, in a bad way. also there's nothing written that girls and guys have to date, they can remain friends, and who knows what the future holds, it is a most uncertain place indeed. hope that this enlightens and helps you some :)
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- Dec 02, 2011
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Quote by angelxxuanfirst and foremost if you're not ready and/or have time and prefer to do a career first, then go for it. no one says you have to date, let alone settle on "ownership" to one person. there's also no rules stating you can't date them both and see which one you like. this is you after all, so you know yourself more than I might, but if it was me, I would do the career/school first and then go from there. however if they wish to be friends and remain friends until you're ready then that means they are the one. but if you feel the need to date, then go with the one that you feel more at ease with that doesn't suck you in, in a bad way. also there's nothing written that girls and guys have to date, they can remain friends, and who knows what the future holds, it is a most uncertain place indeed. hope that this enlightens and helps you some :)
I guess you're right. But Tristan is not the kinda guy who gives up easily and although he's willing to be friends, he's not good at it. I don't mean to say that he does not make a good friend...it's just that he instinctively does things that are...you know, attributive of intentions of someone wanting to be MORE than a friend. And he keeps doing it over and over! What's more, I can't ignore him. He's my work-mate too, whenever we're given a project or something like that to work on, we're always grouped together. And he sits beside me in nearly all the classes. So I can't really pretend not to know him.And the way he talks and acts around me, it's nuts! He's just amazing at rekindling those old feelings when we were together. What irritates me even more is that he's well aware of what he's capable of doing! Now he's taking full advantage of it.
While Alan on the other hand, is very accepting and understanding. He knows how I felt for Tristan but I doubt he's aware of how I still feel. And know what? Being with Alan is more like being with that one ultimate best friend who you can pour your heart in front of. If I leave him now, he'd feel hurt and even more so as I'm his first girlfriend. But right now, all I can think of is my goal and that's pretty much why I need to get this resolved ASAP. At the same time, I don't wanna hurt Alan..he's too nice. I might never find someone who's so compatible with me. Talking with Alan feels like talking with my clone or something! A clone who's comparatively more sensible and cool-headed. But despite all this, I know I won't be seeing him anymore after 4-5 months. I simply won't have the time or chance to do that. And we live far too. So I know, sooner or later, I'll have to let him go. But I don't wanna do that right now. It's just too painful. I want it to last as long as it possibly can. But Tristan is messing things up by being the way he is!
- Dec 03, 2011
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Do not mistake Tristan's kindness as a love proposal, from what I've experienced before I've always been friendly to everybody I meet and since then I've rejected two girls in the past who thinks I like them more as a friend so yeah I think you get my point and from what I read about Alan, he is a passive person and he's the type you want to watch out for because he is observing your every move without giving you any hints on what he's going to do next.
From here on I don't know what to tell you because you're predicament is just too confusing but it'd be better to breeze it through time and not to take it seriously at face value although if I am correct that you are leaving then it would be for the best if you don't pursue a long distance relationship but if you do however continue then you will have a 1 out of 6 odds of making it blossom but that's a chance I personally wouldn't take.
Good luck with your love life though :)
- Dec 06, 2011
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Quote by keionyanDo not mistake Tristan's kindness as a love proposal, from what I've experienced before I've always been friendly to everybody I meet and since then I've rejected two girls in the past who thinks I like them more as a friend so yeah I think you get my point and from what I read about Alan, he is a passive person and he's the type you want to watch out for because he is observing your every move without giving you any hints on what he's going to do next.
From here on I don't know what to tell you because you're predicament is just too confusing but it'd be better to breeze it through time and not to take it seriously at face value although if I am correct that you are leaving then it would be for the best if you don't pursue a long distance relationship but if you do however continue then you will have a 1 out of 6 odds of making it blossom but that's a chance I personally wouldn't take.
Good luck with your love life though :)
Seeing as you're a guy and have had some experience in such matters, I think I'll take your word for it and get it over with, once and for all. And now that you mention it, I do remember a friend of mine saying the exact same thing about Alan...it is true that he's kinda secretive and laid-back. Pisses me off sometimes how he can be so calm all the time! And yeah, I'll be leaving in a couple of months and probably won't be able to remain in touch with either of them. So to sum it all up, it's not gonna work with either of them and even if it does, it won't last much long. I better let 'em go now before things get any worse.
- Dec 06, 2011
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The best advice I can give you right now is that when you are partaking in a close relationship, the main theme is about "us" it's not about you or him but both of you. I hope you understand what i'm trying to say here ┐(￣ー￣)┌
- Dec 06, 2011
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Quote by keionyanThe best advice I can give you right now is that when you are partaking in a close relationship, the main theme is about "us" it's not about you or him but both of you. I hope you understand what i'm trying to say here ┐(￣ー￣)┌
Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. I seem to be making this all about me, I know. I probably sound like a mean, self-centered, conceited lil hag...but it's for our betterment really. I'm not just gonna shake Alan off like a bug on my window pane...I'll talk it out with him and I hope he'll understand. He's pretty damned ambitious too and we both stay busy a lot, especially now a days. It'll be fine...I think. We'll see about that later. But for the time being, I'm just weighing the pros & cons of letting this last for as long as it may or getting it over with in one go. But a close friend of mine said it's better to let things be, if it has to end, it will. When the time is ripe.
- Dec 06, 2011
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