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How do I politely reject an invitation to hang out?

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Redwyn

Redwyn

#SJW apparently

I don't mean the google hangout btw. My friends are great and everything but they're incredibly outgoing people. The kind that gets bored and fidgety if you put them indoors for too long. Meanwhile I'm incredibly introverted. I'm more than happy to spend a month without seeing other people (this really did happen btw) as long as I have the internet that is. I'm fine with 4-5 hours but a whole day is definitely pushing it. They helpful friends in that sincere way that most people are not these days. I'm not bad at making friends but incredibly horrible at keeping them. I can get way too stubborn and prideful for my own good but somehow they stuck around so I really don't want to lose them. But I'm getting off track XP

I usually lied through my teeth. Coming up with something that is half truth like picking up my sister etc. should I just tell them the truth? that I don't feel like going out and rather scroll through tumblr all day? I don't wanna hurt their feelings though. So how do you reject invitation to hang out? Throw in you most creative excuse to avoid something like the dog eat my homework excuse because why not XD

#likethat'sabadthinglol

fireflywishes

Retired Moderator, Linguistics

fireflywishes

Calgon, take me away~!

Lol, well I know we've all got those times where we just want to stay in, but then again it's also healthier to try and get out of the house every so often. (I can't imagine a month without seeing other people!)

If you are having one of those days I've found that just be honest. "Hey I think I'm gonna stay in today" or "I don't really feel like going out today" usually works.

If they're more persistent a "I'm not really feeling well today" usually does the trick...

Or, my best friend (who works in the medical field) says "Just tell them you have explosive diarrhea... no one questions that" XD

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Redwyn

Redwyn

#SJW apparently

Quote by fireflywishesLol, well I know we've all got those times where we just want to stay in, but then again it's also healthier to try and get out of the house every so often. (I can't imagine a month without seeing other people!)

If you are having one of those days I've found that just be honest. "Hey I think I'm gonna stay in today" or "I don't really feel like going out today" usually works.

If they're more persistent a "I'm not really feeling well today" usually does the trick...

Or, my best friend (who works in the medical field) says "Just tell them you have explosive diarrhea... no one questions that" XD

I'm an antisocial person so it's pretty much heaven for me if I don't have an actual contact with a human for a month. I went out with my friends today. I avoided their phone calls and text all day. They showed up at my front door at the end. Could had ignored them but I don't want to be a douche. So we went for dinner. Talked for a couple of hours and etc. Should had said no when they asked me out since I just finished preparing dinner but haven't cooked anything yet. It's incredibly hard for me to say no. Afterward I feel like my brain got fried. I have no idea what I'm suppose to do with myself. I felt incredibly confuse. I'm pretty sure this is not a normal reaction.

Another funny thing is that I did get a tummy ache today and I didn't use that card. I really have idea why can't say no :/

#likethat'sabadthinglol

Alenas

Retired Moderator

Alenas

Gone.

Haha, no worries, I can go long without human contact, too. In fact, hanging around crowds too much tends to exhaust me to the point of being all "oh no, humans, must get away nao". That happens even with some of my friends so I understand the need to just stay indoors or away from people and relax without having anyone around.

As for the excuses, I second Firefly's response - saying something like 'I don't feel very well today' or 'I don't feel like hanging out' straight on usually does the trick. Perhaps telling them that you're not exactly the epitome of a social butterfly might help, too. Or, in desperate times, digestion problems. Everyone can relate to those and no one would ask you to tag along, lol. You definitely shouldn't force yourself to go along with them if you really don't feel like it; otherwise you'll only feel uncomfortable and if they're close to you, they'll notice that, too. Of course, going out every now and then IS good for you, but you should definitely learn to just say 'no' to them if you're experiencing one of those days and would rather just sleep the day away or stay inside. If they're good friends, they will understand. We all have those days, after all.

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pandemonium91

Retired Moderator, Tagger

pandemonium91

I'm an introvert too, so I know where you're coming from ^^ We're most comfortable in the privacy of our own home, and my former Spanish teacher (whom I deeply respect) use to say that whoever doesn't feel the need to spend some time on their own isn't normal ^^" That was in response to a former classmate saying she loved to be surrounded by people at all times. She's an outgoing girl much like you described your friends to be, and couldn't really picture not having human contact for even a few hours.

Now, you're in a pickle because introverts may be able to understand how extroverts think, but it doesn't always work the other way around (unless they're also gifted with empathy). Avoiding phone calls is perfectly normal IMO, if they're not urgent matters; I sometimes put mine on silent mode because I either want to do something without being interrupted or just don't feel like dealing with other people. I'm also not a fan of going out in large groups, especially since they're almost always noisy and I don't like being too noisy in public (as in, "I can hear you from across the very busy street" noisy >_> )

Some excuses (make sure to say them like you really mean it and there's no room for negotiation):
- "Sorry, I don't feel like going out today." (most honest answer)
- "My parents need help with chores around the house. / I have to help out my mom/dad/relative with something."
- "Sorry, but I really can't." (if they press further, just be adamant and say you can't come; they'll most likely understand you don't feel like going out)
- "I'm not feeling too great, I'll have to sit this one out." (like Alenas and Firefly suggested ^^)
- "I have an appointment at the dentist's/doctor's."
- "Sorry, I'm too tired, I can't even get out of bed without falling over."
And, as a last resort, "Urgh, I'm on my period and having AWFUL cramps!". This won't lead to many questions, and if some of your friends are guys, going into details will most likely have them saying "Nah, just let her stay home" in no time! The only downside is that you can't use this excuse too often, for biological reasons ^^"

Alternatively, grab whomever of your friends you're closer to and explain the situation to them. They'll have your back when the others insist to hang out. Being forced to be social is obviously putting a mental and physical strain on you (tummy ache), so the sooner you tell them about your dilemma, the closer you are to finding a possible solution for both you and them :)
Also, try to find out where you're most comfortable going out and suggest you go there once in a while. If a bar/restaurant is too noisy/stifling, go for a walk in the park. If that's too boring, go see a movie. If that's too boring as well, go to an event (concert, festival, fair etc.).

Phew, that was much longer than I expected! o.o Let us know how it turns out for you~

If you can't handle me at my best, then you don't deserve me at my worst!

Darthas

Retired Moderator

Darthas

レキシコン

All depends how accepting your friends are, we can honestly never really know. I've told people the same things I listed, people are dreary and overly-boring. They say the same things and do the same things in every outing, sightseeing is not interesting, meeting new people is not interesting either since those people love to dump their issues on you or confide in you. You can talk about anything relating but do not have to be blunt about it by outright saying 'people suck'.

Could talk to them about it one day, about how going out almost all the time isn't the kind of person you are. No one can argue with that and no one should be attempting to change that. That's the easiest way to go about these things, to build your image for understanding by others. If they know you're not the 'type' of person to be going out all day, they'll be less likely to invite you out.

Btw friends accepted people for who they are, nerds who don't keep your friendship because you don't do anything with them aren't really friends. By that logic, you'll mostly have 1-3 good friends which is probably good enough if being alone is best.

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YHE

YHE

What The Freak !!!

I'm actually a straight/blunt person in cases like this I usually tell my friends "I don't want to go, I'm feel lazy" and they don't got angry, because they are used to it.
I hang out with them more often than I decline though.

This are some lines (If you don't mind lying)

1. ''I'm in a far away place right now, sorry ''
2. ''I really can't go today I have a diarrhea'' (I'm sure they'll understand LOL)
3. ''Ow I'm sorry, but I'm grounded.''
4. ''To my fellow friends, I can't come because I don't have any money, maybe next time'' (if your gonna hang out to place that involves the use of money)
5. (if your going some place far like a filed trip) "guys I'll be late, please go ahead I'll come and catch up soon" then if they leave "Guys I can't come, my shoes is broken, sorry"
6. (requires an accomplice)If they are calling to your cellphone, give the cellphone to your brother or sister and let him/her tell your friends that your sick (probably the best option)

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lalagirl211

lalagirl211

BELIEVE In YOURSELF!!!

My fwend always invite me to her house but i always turned her down ..umm i just lied, i know it sux below the belt but thats the only way i can think of

This World Is Wrong . . .

^ Please be mindful that inserting images in the forums isn't generally allowed because the larger ones interrupt the format of the pages and it's difficult for most members to determine what size would not be too big. It's OK to include images in groups and guest books, however. Links to images are permitted but the image should relate to the topic at hand. Thanks, lala-chan. I hope that you don't mind me removing the image in your post, rather that delete the post in it's entirety.

If a friend asks me to visit I will usually go unless I don't have the opportunity to arrive at the appointed time. If it's someone who I am only acquainted with, I thank them for the invitation and assure them that I will consider it and leave it at that. If they press the matter I simply say that I will let them know as soon as I decide, and explain that that is providing that I plan to attend.

lalagirl211

lalagirl211

BELIEVE In YOURSELF!!!

Quote by Hooyaah^ Please be mindful that inserting images in the forums isn't generally allowed because the larger ones interrupt the format of the pages and it's difficult for most members to determine what size would not be too big. It's OK to include images in groups and guest books, however. Links to images are permitted but the image should relate to the topic at hand. Thanks, lala-chan. I hope that you don't mind me removing the image in your post, rather that delete the post in it's entirety.

If a friend asks me to visit I will usually go unless I don't have the opportunity to arrive at the appointed time. If it's someone who I am only acquainted with, I thank them for the invitation and assure them that I will consider it and leave it at that. If they press the matter I simply say that I will let them know as soon as I decide, and explain that that is providing that I plan to attend.

How come i cant post a picture since this is a picture website lol

This World Is Wrong . . .

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