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How do you know you really like someone?

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sweetanimegirl24

sweetanimegirl24

Fly away into the vast skies....

Hello everyone ^_^

I would appreciate real serious answers to my question and would love any feedback.

So I have been dating this new guy, I have alot of things in common with and do like spending time with him, but I don't feel giddy or ecstatic when I get a call or a txt from him...I mean it's not that I'm not happy to hear from him or anything, but there is no excitement on my part I guess.

I do enjoy being with him and like doing things with him, but my heart doesn't race when he kisses me....
What I'm trying to say is it's not puppy love or Disney and romantic movies and books have ruined my romantic expectations lol

I just feel comfortable with him, even when we are not talking to each other.... he really is sweet and nice to me....

Wonder If my feelings will grow over time or will it just be lukewarm like this?
I can tell that he likes me way more than I like him though...he asked me be his girlfriend and I don't know what to say....

So how do I know whether I really like him?

How do you know if you really like him if your heart doesn't beat faster when you kiss him?

Life without love is not love...only existence...
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Cirru

Cirru

Interstellar Force

Quote by sweetanimegirl24
I have alot of things in common with and do like spending time with him, but I don't feel giddy or ecstatic when I get a call or a txt from him...I mean it's not that I'm not happy to hear from him or anything, but there is no excitement on my part I guess.

I do enjoy being with him and like doing things with him, but my heart doesn't race when he kisses me....

This sounds like you are answering your own question here. If there was a special romantic connection, then you would know and feel it. You would light up when he is with you or calling/communicating with you. From what you have described, it sounds more like he is a friend to you and he is romantically attracted to you.

As far as feelings growing over time... well, that could happen. How long have you been dating this new guy?

Having a lot in common is great for a relationship. It helps you both relate to each other and do things together.

Mmmm... cake
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Darthas

Retired Moderator

Darthas

レキシコン

Quote by sweetanimegirl24Hello everyone ^_^

I would appreciate real serious answers to my question and would love any feedback.

So I have been dating this new guy, I have alot of things in common with and do like spending time with him, but I don't feel giddy or ecstatic when I get a call or a txt from him...I mean it's not that I'm not happy to hear from him or anything, but there is no excitement on my part I guess.

I do enjoy being with him and like doing things with him, but my heart doesn't race when he kisses me....
What I'm trying to say is it's not puppy love or Disney and romantic movies and books have ruined my romantic expectations lol

I just feel comfortable with him, even when we are not talking to each other.... he really is sweet and nice to me....

Wonder If my feelings will grow over time or will it just be lukewarm like this?
I can tell that he likes me way more than I like him though...he asked me be his girlfriend and I don't know what to say....

So how do I know whether I really like him?

How do you know if you really like him if your heart doesn't beat faster when you kiss him?

Love is fickle and hard to detect, there's no manual for it unless you wanna listen to all the useless love gurus in the world today who have been the cause for more bad marriages than anything in world.

Love is at best gauged if you can see yourself living with the guy through thick and thin for the remainder of your life after you marry him and how accepting each of you are to the others ideas. Increased pulse and other feelings aren't reliable because all you need is 1 bad habit to kill off your future with the guy.

To know if you really like him, is to think of all the unimaginable things at your current state that he could do (i.e have an affair) and see just how far your tolerance goes.

[20:54] Lexicon: I may be 3rd place in the popularity poll but at NASA, the # order is 3>2>1.
[20:56] DXBlair: its a placement poll..not a countdown idiot
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pandemonium91

Retired Moderator, Tagger

pandemonium91

Well most of what we see on TV or in movies is infatuation or temporary obsession, not "true" love. After the initial ecstatic stage has worn off, then you'll know if it's really love and not just temporary attraction. Long-lasting love has its ups and downs and the butterflies certainly aren't there all the time. Hell, even Romeo and Juliet, which some consider to be one of the greatest love stories ever told, is actually about infatuation, not love.

Darthas is spot on: you can't rely on your feelings all the time, you also need to consider the more pragmatic side of things - doing chores, paying bills, raising kids (if you want to). Most older romcoms that end in "happily ever after" feature relationships that are doomed to fail because of differing core opinions, personalities (drastically different), social positions etc.

I won't tell you you are or aren't in love with him because that'd be naive. Only you can figure it out. For starters, ask yourself these questions:
- are we friends? (because after the initial infatuation wears off, you'll need to be friends in order to go on)
- do I see myself beside him even 2 years from now? Do I want a long-term relationship with him?
- do I want him to see both my good and bad sides? Do I want to know his?
- can I trust this person financially? (love is nice and all but you still need money to live)

So my advice for now would be to give the relationship a shot; you can break it off anytime if it doesn't work out. But you also might find out you like him after you discover a bit more about him. Or not. See for yourself, really, that's the best advice I can give.

Tl;dr: not every romance is earth-shattering electric butterflies in the stomach. Give it a shot and you'll see if you two are compatible or not.

If you can't handle me at my best, then you don't deserve me at my worst!

Valuna

Retired Moderator

Valuna

Naughty Artist

There's no need to start feeling excited to confirm you like/love him. It takes time to get to know eachother and see if you are a good match as a couple.
One of the more important things to go with him is to question yourself if he is sexually attractive to you. There are possibly things you like/don't like...well, if there are things that a person could normally work on (ex. lose a few kg?) to fit the image more of what you find the most attractive (the closer, the better as no thing as a little bit of disgust anymore). It wouldn't hurt stimulating a bit in that way. You can't really go against what someone doesn't want so don't push it when it comes to personal changes aside from just adjusting.

I do think if he's new in your life, it depends on the amount of time spend together. Good friends get along with the goods and bads of one another. Good lovers do the same but they go deeper than that. They have to deal with it to live with it, friends don't. It takes time getting to know eachother. As lovers, you should be able to trust eachother blindly (people do tend to cheat but this is the actual goal), it also tends to happen with friends but not as intense. Let a month or two pass if it hasn't been that yet before passing a proper judgement.

I think the rest said everything else needed to be said so...I'll leave it at this. Good luck!

These beautiful, fragile days are reborn, unfaded
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sweetanimegirl24

sweetanimegirl24

Fly away into the vast skies....

Wow thank you so much everyone for your insightful thoughts and comments.
I will definitely give this relationship a chance....^_^
I do like being friends with him... that is how i got to slowly get to know and still am...
Even though i said yes to being his girlfriend, I feel like I'm still being friends with him.

I do enjoy kissing him and LOVE hugging him....>//<
I feel calm when I'm with him....at times I would admit that I'm a bitch, but with him it's like he is suppressing my bitchy self without even realizing it lol

Hope things things work out between us...we only see each other one day a week so maybe absence will make the heart fonder...not that we don't txt each other often....^_^

Life without love is not love...only existence...
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pandemonium91

Retired Moderator, Tagger

pandemonium91

Great ^_^ It's good to start out as friends, maybe you'll fall in love along the way. If not, hey, maybe you can go on as just friends.
It speaks volumes if you say he brings out the best in you. And if you feel you can confide in him, then maybe it'll turn into more than just friendship feelings-wise as well ^_~ All the best!

If you can't handle me at my best, then you don't deserve me at my worst!

lalagirl211

lalagirl211

BELIEVE In YOURSELF!!!

If you keep thinking bout him all the time, sumtimes its just infatuation not love.

If you get attracted to da other ppl bt stay w/ him without any regrets thats ~ LOVE
If u luv sumone bcus u share everything w/ him then its not love its ~~ FRIENDSHIP

This World Is Wrong . . .

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