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[: POEM:] crumble

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Minitokyo » Main Fora » Chat Lounge  [: POEM:] crumble

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I wrote this monday, after learning some newz, but MT was down and it was just sittin around my PC afterwards... I don't usually write this, but at the time I had ample inspiration...

I wanted to modify this to make it more clever, but I think that it's fine the way it is - even though this is probably the fastest one I came up with, so here ya go:


as the tears run down my face,
nothing satisfies my taste,
everything is blant,
I feel disgraced.

mourning in the morning,
cannot help the yearning,
another fate fell through,
escape impossible to prove.

how can it be,
what made it so,
why does it make,
an everlasting blow.

a poem's impact,
does not compare,
to the feeling so grand
it does not dare

lemme know what it means to ya...

'Sup homes!
that's a very nice poem homie...but it really is full of pain...i'm not really good in sayin a poem, but i think that sad poems are hurtful! even though they're nice....y don't you guys try ta make a happy poem...something about the world...well, the world is in chaos so....i dunno...
This poem reminds me of myself....i've sat down and cried to myself about lotsa things...but at the end, i'd smile, even though things don't turn out the way u want'em, u gotta keep a smile on ur face ;)....
thanx for sharin ur thoughts with us homie!
Leo

My very thinking is ....that it looks like you read the newspaper and only see death after death and how peoples faith vanishes from this world...............but then again is just my side of view...pm me whenever you can I want to know the true meaning of this :)

good job

you have to move forward..and never look back, no matter how hurt your heart must be

it ok. i sort of get your poems, compare to xange's poems
-mxc

Dude, you should try to make it more clever, this poem is below your par. Or, you can practice writting bad poems, lol. Anyways, this poem reminds me of another dream or life goal (whether social, financial, or mental) fell through. And this is just another blow to your pride and motivation because your other dreams also fell through. And this is talking about how your in the climax of the pain, which is typically in the beginning.

thanx for your comments, i tried to capture a simple, fast state of mind without dwelling away from the main idea... j0n0 hit the ball on the target like always :)

aaaaaaa I didn't *pulls hair*

Quote by melonbrustyou have to move forward..and never look back, no matter how hurt your heart must be

i simply have to agree, you seem like a great poet, i would like to read more of your poems. :)

Quote by xangeaaaaaaa I didn't *pulls hair*


lol . what is with the pulling hair. did u not get it?
-mxc

2 things to say:

1. I like this poem, but damn there's so many!!!

2. I'm not much of a poet myself

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