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{poem} forever waiting

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Minitokyo » Main Fora » Chat Lounge  {poem} forever waiting

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~forever waiting~


waiting . . .
waiting where the sky is clear blue
and where the grass is vast as the sea
and where dreams can be dreamt
while sleeping under a great big tree
i wait and wait
until i can no longer feel
the tear drops of heaven
nor smell the sweet scent of wild flowers
nor taste the delicious pastries that one makes
nor hear the distant voice from afar . . .
i'll wait forever and ever
and ever and ever
and after that
i will not remember why or who i am waiting for . . .
for i am eternally lost in a dream . . .
a fantasy . . . or lost in myself . . . in a dark or
cold dimension . . .
waiting . . .
waiting . . .
waiting . . .
for someone . . .
anyone . . .
to find me . . .

I found you, lol. Nice poem, i love the almost constant use of imagery. And the rhythm of the poem is fast with a happy tone and then slowly progresses into a slow sad state. well done.

This is a really good poem. The flow of the poem is great. Good job!

i must disagree with the concensus, something doesn't seem right here... waiting is what makes life pass you by, are you sure it's a good idea? why not become the hunter, not the prey?!?!! maybe i missed the point, it's rather late already... wtf am i doing up... O.o

not very meaningful poem
but it does have a nice click to
wat your tryin to show us

so ish kewl, maybe abit more stronger words
used would b nice

but its fine the way it is :D
8/10 my rating

This poem really shows your personality. But always waiting won't make you go forward. There's a time you must stop waiting and go for it

Quote by kuscoThis poem really shows your personality. But always waiting won't make you go forward. There's a time you must stop waiting and go for it


Yeah, i agree. :D Your poem is very beautiful . . . but go for it! :D

Lovely poem. Thanks for sharing it. :)

thx for all ur comments!! i really appreciate it!! :)

This is a really pretty poem! ^-^ I like it!

wow...you're good at making poems, to me anyway, cause i'm not a very poetic person! keep 'em up! :)

My favorite so far... your choice of words help me visualize what you're describing... it's a beautiful poem :D

NYAAAAAAAAAAAAA~~~~~~~~~ SO NICEE!
Good jobbie done!~
i love this one!

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