thats just lovely ^^ it´s wonderful writing you got there! the way you
play with the words is marvelous and it stikes me as one of the best oems
i´ve ever read ^^ good work!
i love it.....if i showed my friend sophie she would cry.......lol....thats how
good it is....keep up the good work at poems and if you have anymore....gimme a
shout and ill comment on em......ill add you to my friends list...and take care
randomness... do more randomness. i like you randomness they sound very good. if
it all right with you im going to show this to someone. it should be shown to
the world. but im going to let you do that
randomness is right, but i don't like it ~ some parts are good, but most of it
sux ~ it doesn't flow from one stanza to the next well at all. and wtf is
"inmerce" ~ immerse?
I am going to assume for a moment that this is religious cause I am reminded of
a tale related to God. A man wished to prove to God that he was committed and a
true believer, so he walked (if forget how far, but very far) on his knees a
long distance and asked God (Jesus maybe, my memory fails me recently) "Is
this not proof enough of my commitment to you Oh Lord!" And He said onto
him, "You do not have to do such a thing to prove to me that you are
faithful."
The moral was that by doing a painful deed that can be done without pain to
prove a point is considered foolish. I don't know where it came from, but it
just popped into my mind after reading this beautifully horrid poem.
Let's see: Jesus drank wine with his brethren. You put your hands together, to
pray?
wondering how'd you've been //is the same as
wondering how would you have been
you want to hear him one day (someone you love or want to love you) most likely
jesus? then u reference sacred and sanctify, more religious types of
terms.
the last 4 lines I don't exactly get, who are the workers? Are they
coworkers?
Now I understand that the obvious seems to be religious, but I have my own
underlying thoughts that I will not mention, cause there are many situations
that your inconclusive poetry hits. You can't seem to point directly with your
style, you just run your finger in circles all around what you want to say ~
especially you, your circular radii are always bigger than any poet cause of
your lack of flow.
Anyway, take care with your busy schedule, I have mine as well.... cyaz l8r
randomness? how? lol, i think it's pretty good. it's different from the other
poems i've read but i still like it. some of the parts you can really visualize
and others..are well ok. anyway, i love some parts of the poem. good job!
i dont understand all poems of many kinds much. only a little. i wish i could
though. and i wish i could write poetry so that i could write it for the girls.
your poem is about the feeling of wanting someone back?
wowwie.. this really isnt like the previous ones in terms of style like you said
but i like it!
Great usage of words i wish i
could write poems but sadly, i suck at poems lol!
lol I knew for sure that you wouldn't like it. I defenetly am going to revise it
later when I get the time
but this poem had its purpose, but still I wanted to share this crappy poem with
ya all. Don't worry I'm gonna to revise it for the sake of some of my friends
One
short note: this poem is not related what-so-ever to God, and the girl I talk
about in the poem is not me. But thanks for giving me a different side of view.
As always I enjoy variety of thinking You have
the right when you say I go around in circles cause saying things aren't easy
for me so I tease and go around the bush for quite a long time. I'm glad some
other enjoy that
lol my lack of flow is a constant on my poems, is due to my unpredictable
personality. I must fix that side of me.
It's a nice poem, no matter how unlike you it may sound...ah, randomness, I
suffer from that same affliction, how alike we seem to be.
Good Job, I hope to be seeing more from you, and may the spirit of random not
die. For it is often the best of ideas and the best of people that get it.
Like a fine wine
bitter but addictive
its essence's strong
I still savor every drop.
My mind goes after
wondering, unknowing
but hoping for the best
putting my hands together making a request.
Inmerce on my living
timeless hours and days
flows down my being
I finally remembered
wondering how'd you've been.
As long as the sun keeps shinning
I still hope to hear you one day
when I come walking towards you
calling your name.
From the sacred temple
of my countless beatings
I sanctify your soul
and welcome it with love.
To caress the light inside
holding it prior to collide
could see her reflection
glowing viciously.
I still dream I'm walking by
workers with sharp eyes
and pat your back
to greet the star
from silver nights.
p.s. guys, this style of writting is very unlike me, but still enjoy my randomness
waa! thats better then anything i could ever do! wanna do my english gcse for me? lol just kidding! good work! :P
thats just lovely ^^ it´s wonderful writing you got there! the way you play with the words is marvelous and it stikes me as one of the best oems i´ve ever read ^^ good work!
hey guys thanks for your comments and time
LOVE YA ALL
That is a very lovely poem. I liked it a lot.
waw, really? I think is kind of crappy but it still works for its purpose
i love it.....if i showed my friend sophie she would cry.......lol....thats how good it is....keep up the good work at poems and if you have anymore....gimme a shout and ill comment on em......ill add you to my friends list...and take care
Arigatou mitchell-san ^^
wow! this is really amazing! awesome job and keep it up!
randomness... do more randomness. i like you randomness they sound very good. if it all right with you im going to show this to someone. it should be shown to the world. but im going to let you do that
randomness is right, but i don't like it ~ some parts are good, but most of it sux ~ it doesn't flow from one stanza to the next well at all. and wtf is "inmerce" ~ immerse?
I am going to assume for a moment that this is religious cause I am reminded of a tale related to God. A man wished to prove to God that he was committed and a true believer, so he walked (if forget how far, but very far) on his knees a long distance and asked God (Jesus maybe, my memory fails me recently) "Is this not proof enough of my commitment to you Oh Lord!" And He said onto him, "You do not have to do such a thing to prove to me that you are faithful."
The moral was that by doing a painful deed that can be done without pain to prove a point is considered foolish. I don't know where it came from, but it just popped into my mind after reading this beautifully horrid poem.
Let's see: Jesus drank wine with his brethren. You put your hands together, to pray?
wondering how'd you've been //is the same as
wondering how would you have been
you want to hear him one day (someone you love or want to love you) most likely jesus? then u reference sacred and sanctify, more religious types of terms.
the last 4 lines I don't exactly get, who are the workers? Are they coworkers?
Now I understand that the obvious seems to be religious, but I have my own underlying thoughts that I will not mention, cause there are many situations that your inconclusive poetry hits. You can't seem to point directly with your style, you just run your finger in circles all around what you want to say ~ especially you, your circular radii are always bigger than any poet cause of your lack of flow.
Anyway, take care with your busy schedule, I have mine as well.... cyaz l8r
randomness? how? lol, i think it's pretty good. it's different from the other poems i've read but i still like it. some of the parts you can really visualize and others..are well ok. anyway, i love some parts of the poem. good job!
i dont understand all poems of many kinds much. only a little. i wish i could though. and i wish i could write poetry so that i could write it for the girls. your poem is about the feeling of wanting someone back?
wowwie.. this really isnt like the previous ones in terms of style like you said but i like it!
i wish i
could write poems 
but sadly, i suck at poems lol! 
Great usage of words
lol I knew for sure that you wouldn't like it. I defenetly am going to revise it later when I get the time
but this poem had its purpose, but still I wanted to share this crappy poem with
ya all. Don't worry I'm gonna to revise it for the sake of some of my friends
One
short note: this poem is not related what-so-ever to God, and the girl I talk
about in the poem is not me. But thanks for giving me a different side of view.
As always I enjoy variety of thinking 
You have
the right when you say I go around in circles cause saying things aren't easy
for me so I tease and go around the bush for quite a long time. I'm glad some
other enjoy that 
lol my lack of flow is a constant on my poems, is due to my unpredictable
personality. I must fix that side of me.
Guys you all thanks for your comments.
It's a nice poem, no matter how unlike you it may sound...ah, randomness, I suffer from that same affliction, how alike we seem to be.
Good Job, I hope to be seeing more from you, and may the spirit of random not die. For it is often the best of ideas and the best of people that get it.