I was crying last night because I told my boyfriend of two years that the reason I have been so hesistant in having sex was because I wanted to lose my virginty to the person I end up with...
Now he says he loves me a lot and is in love...
And I am one of 3 people he can take for long periods of time...
But he told me to continue save myself which basically meant he has doubts that we will end up together in the distant future...
I think he is just scared because he is used to being alone...he is kind -of a loner...

But it is so confusing because he constantly tells me he loves me and his longest relationshop before me was about 2 months....

So I know that he is serious about me...

But it hurts that he isn't as sure about it as I am

I know we are young....
But I am the kind of person who always looks at the bigger picture...

I am hurting so much..but I will hurt so much more If we end out relationship which seems like the logical thing to do...... but I tend to use my heart more than my mind...

Virginity to a girl is something the is very special. As for what your boyfriend said, he's probably just waiting for the right moment. If you think losing your virginity
to that person, means they will stay with you forever,that is really a silly idea.

ow...don't go losing it, not that i have much to say, but if he is not willing, he has a reason, and you are simply thinking negative, i am sure he believes you are too precious to break, maybe it is his way of showing that he loves you too much to give you unsure answers.

hey there, dont thinnk too much of it, you will end up thinking something else than there really is. You will begin to doubt things you should not. One thing that ALWAYS fix things is: talk about it. Talk with him face to face.. i lost my dear friend because she couldn't talk with me, and i hate life for it. Why couldnt i save someting so important from so stupid reason, and it was because she problems with talking

You just need to talk with him, tell him what you think and ask what he does think. There could me many reason why he tells you to save it. maybe he isn't ready for himself or hes afraid.. but if he tells he loves you, believe it. not having sex at so young age doesn't mean you would break up later! there will be time for everything, and its you and your boyfriend Together who decide when it is.. dont force it and dont take it wrong way Just love each other and let things come as they will Good luck to your both.

Quote by tiki223Virginity to a girl is something the is very special. As for what your boyfriend said, he's probably just waiting for the right moment. If you think losing your virginity
to that person, means they will stay with you forever,that is really a silly idea.

I don't think that at all. I said that I would LIKE to lose to to the person I end up with. It is merely a promise I sot-of have with myself...

merged: 11-28-2005 ~ 11:11am
Well it wasn't so much that he told me to save myself that bothered me...
it was more the thought of how he doubts our relationship will make until after we finish college....that is what freaks me out.

merged: 11-29-2005 ~ 04:37am
Thanks for listening to me, all!
It feels good to know that there are people around who like to help others! <3

awww...

well his doubts can be anything...
maybe its not about him thinkin he'll fall out of love,
but he thinks that you will fall out of love and you will find someone else

possibly he can just be lacking confidence, thinkin that he cant make u happy
so it wouldnt hurt to show appreciation that he does
(thats if he really does tho.... lol jus joking ^___~)

but try not to overdo it... sometimes the simplest things are the most effective ~___^
ya kno, sumptin that will make em go awww and bring a smile to his face ^___^

thats why i think clear communication is important ^___^
u should try to be completely open and honest wit each other
telling each other how you truly feel
that way there will be less doubts and insecurities

anyways, hope this helped and good luk u two ^___~
btw, theres more ways to have fun than jus havin sex ya kno ~___^

I think that no matter what he says it will be the wrong thing. If he does he's damned and if he doesn't he's damned. Simply because it's such hard ground to walk on. I would try not to think too hard about what he says but wait for the big picture and see what he does. This is the only way we ever find truth ultimately. I respect that you want to be careful with whome you innitiate sex. Spare a thought for him though as his genes will be driving him crazy and running him in circles. It is very hard for a young man to be reasonable and honorable about such things so if he is not pressuring you or making you feel bad that you are holding out, then that is just the very best that he can do.

Avoid over analysing it or your fantasies and fears will over take you and the truth will be buried and die....

UPDATE!
We have sort-of patched things up a bit...he said that he sees so many people getting engaged carelessly so he kind-of got a bad image of it...but he says he will consider the thought more seriously and maybe in a few years we will be ready.
That's good enough for me!

merged: 12-02-2005 ~ 08:01am
Thank you all for your kind words and honesty!

I'm glad to hear things are better. Just realize the whole purpose behind sex, the real reason he should be wanting to have sex w/ you to begin with is to show how much he loves you, not for his own pleasure. If he's a good guy he'll be patient if you're not ready (caring for your feelings). If he keeps hassling you all he wants is sex, he doesn't care about you to a certain degree. With any relationship sometimes each person has a different image of where the relationship is, and it's constantly changing. So don't feel bad if they don't align with one another.

You know he loves you right. If you told some other guy that, I doubt he would have cared about you enough to tell you to wait. Most other guys would have did you the moment you said that. you are so lucky to have someone who respects you like that.

Quote by chaosmongooseYou know he loves you right. If you told some other guy that, I doubt he would have cared about you enough to tell you to wait. Most other guys would have did you the moment you said that. you are so lucky to have someone who respects you like that.

I know...thank you. You're nice!

it might help to think of it not as a rejection of yourself, but as an honorable goal for your boyfriend to help you reach. he is not saying that your relationship will fail; rather, he is saying that he loves you so much that he wants to make sure that your dreams come true and that your first time is within the confines of marriage. it sounds to me like you are a very lucky girl.

-the greatest of these is love.

You know he loves you right. If you told some other guy that, I doubt he would have cared about you enough to tell you to wait.

Why are you even thinking of losing your virginity? If you think he wants to f* you and you think you are too young, then tell him to f* off. Simple. You are making this too hard for yourself.

You shouldn't lose your Virginity just because he said he loved you. Rushing and having sex can cause regrets. Waiting can only show you the true colors of a person.

Hey, girl!

You've found someone who honors and loves you. He's honoring your decisions and he's willing to wait. Hard to find men like that these days. LUCKY GIRL!

And you're being a pessimist, worrying over if you two are going to break up. He never said he was going to break up with you. So, stop worrying and just let it run its course.

Hey, you'll never know what you'll find around the bend. Might be something EXCITING! @__@

Talking helps, too... don't forget!

let it run its course eh? reads like such a relationship of yours is already written down. just a character in a book. fulfilling their role. how depressing. but it reads as though this chap never said he loved you before you talked to him about your decision of chasitity until that special someone. if so, that is a bit odd don't you think? well i find it to be. i broke up with my companion under similar circumstances, well not really. i was honest about my true feelings for her, which it might sound mean, but i thought of her as more of a place to go to and chill rather than a person. unfortunately, i never found out why she decided to part, for she refused to disclose the reason. point of telling you that is, there really isn't much reason to feel hurt because an inevitable end. there is no fun in hurting yourself by thinking too much. you don't want to overheat your mind now do you? hope the best for you, really. cheers. and keep it real real.

well, that's kinda serious.
I think you should use your mind more than your heart in this case.
If you really love him, then you know what's the best for him. You say he's a loner... well, you must understand that you can't change people but, if he really loves you( and if he really loves himself, too) he will change!
On the other hand, you can try to figure out what's really wrong with him. maybe he had a bad experiense before.
i think you have to have a deep conversation with him.
sorry, that's all i can tell you...

Well I'm a male so I can't exacly understand the feeling you have right now but you shouldn't get so worked up about a relationship, especially if you're a teen. Relationships will come and go and there will be heartbreaks now and then, but that's life for ya. Full of disappointment and sorrow. The thing is not doing something you might regret though. And in my opinion (this only applies to jerks) if you have sex with him, he'll probably just leave eventually. Just hang in there and remeber that sex isn't everything.

If he really loves you, which I believe is highly likely, and if he is saving himself for you for that reason, then you should do the same with yourself for him, if you truely love him. That way the sex will always be the best because the love behind it was genuine without any false pretenses or selfish motives.