Sorry this is so long... but please read it if you have time.
Lets start at the beginning. Two years ago, I was a student aid in the class he
had. I didn't notice him at all at first, but he caught my attention after a few
months, and I had a tiny crush on him without ever having talked to him. I tried
talking to him once, I wanted to so bad, but he was leaving school, so I walked
up behind him, kept on walking, and said Hi as i rushed past, blushing.
Nothing ever came of that, fast forward a year. He was a grade younger than me,
so that year we were going to different schools. Sometimes while driving to
school I would see him standing on the crosswalk. I only got to see him a couple
times a month, but I would always watch for him, and when I saw him, it made me
happy.
Fast forward another year. He goes to the same school as me now, but I hardly
ever see him. I promised myself that I would talk to him one day. Other than
that I just watched him when he walked by.
The main issue here is that I have a boyfriend. We aren't really in love any
more, but we're close friends, and I couldn't stand to hurt him. It's not fair
to him for me to be thinking about this other guy that I don't even know. And
yet lately I haven't been able to get him off my mind. This weekend I had had a
dream about him every night, so last night I promised myself that I would talk
to him today, even if it was just to say hi. I was also hoping that meeting the
real him would help crush my images of the fantasy, and I could stop dreaming.
This morning I walked around school looking for him, but I ran into my boyfriend
first. So I gave up my search and just hung out with my boyfriend. But I was
still looking out the window of the room we were in, just in case the guy walked
by. But then I noticed that he was in the same room! I just hadn't been able to
see him because my veiw was blocked by another group of people. My boyfriend had
been hugging me, had his arms around my waist... I really didn't want the guy to
see me with my boyfriend, so I tried to hide behind some other people, but they
kept moving around and my boyfriend started to notice that something was wrong.
He kept asking me what the matter was, but I couldn't tell him, I just felt like
I had to get away from him so that the guy wouldn't see me with him. Later I
lied and made up some other excuse for why I had been so nervous, and my
boyfriend took it. For the rest of the day I couldn't find the guy again, so I
ended up not getting to talk to him...
I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm going to drive myself nuts fantasizing
about this guy that I know nothing about. I feel like I need to talk to him so
that I realize that he's not the idolized version that I've made up to get him
off my mind. But how can I talk to him with my boyfriend always with me at the
once place I know I'll see him? And I'm also afraid that if I talk to him, he'll
realize that I like him. But I'm pretty sure he knows I have a boyfriend. So
that would make me a cheater. I don't want to be one, but I can't stop thinking
about this guy!
if you really don't like your boyfriend then why are you still with him? i think
it's kind of unfair for your boyfriend if you're fantasizing about/trying to
catch the gaze of another guy when you guys are still "an item".
Quote: But how can I talk to him
with my boyfriend always with me at the once place I know I'll see
him?
easy answer... break up with your boyfriend. since you
obviously don't have anything more than platonic feelings for him it's probably
hurting him even more not knowing what's going on than if you were to break up
with him. you guys are close friends, but there's no way that you can break up
and not have one of the two of you get hurt. (trust me i've got the whole
dating/breaking up/crushing on area covered when it comes to dating close
friends)
lol, i read it all for fun, and to be blunt... stop being a heart tearing
inconsiderate person... im using restraint here, for being a guy, let him know
HONESTLY what is going on inside.
Actually, let them both know and talk things over openly.
..i feel sorry for your boyfriend cinnamon.. his girlfriend is already wanting
someone else and lies to him about it.. if you consider him as just a close
friend.. then why are you afraid of being seen with him?.. i'm guessing its
cause he doesnt see things that way.. if you dont want to be a cheater then stop
lieing to your alleged boyfriend and break up already.. trust me.. you're not
going to hurt his feelings.. hurting his feelings is liking someone else while
being with him..
hey if your friends know and support you then that's all you need. screw
everyhting else. (i'm sort of in the same sit as you so don't worry too much
about it.)
Why don't you begin by speaking with the guy when you're not with your
boyfriend? It's not like you're gonna tell him "I love you" the next
time you'll talk to him. And I think you are not really a cheater if the other
guy is not your boyfriend. It's not like you can't hang out with other boys
while you have a boyfriend, right?
That is unfair on your boyfriend. You will have to leave your present boyfriend
if you want to think about going for another guy. Tell him or hint at it every
day, be kind and don't break his heart. Good luck! ^_^
Eh, you'll get over him soon. Stick w/ your boyfriend. The same happened to me
before. A close friend of mine who has a boyfriend fell in love w/ me, but after
a while she realized she can't be with me, so she sticked w/ her boyfriend. I
don't know.. maybe you'll feel the same. Good luck.
You hang up? Thats not so good -.-. But dont worry, you will get more chances to
talk to him. Start with a letter. Im a guy, and I would be happy to get a letter
from a girl. I would feel at ease (no, I wouldnt, but maybe the guy you like
^^') receiving a letter from a girl. If you really like this guy, and you are a
close friend with your bf, then he would understand. Having it like this is not
so good. A bf and a another guy you like (you are in some serious trouble -.-).
But your bf maybe feels different for you than you feel for him. Its hard
dealing with feelings, but you have to make a move. Or else you can lose your
friend and that guy you like (I dont want to discourage you now). The chance for
tht to happen is low, but oyu should always be on the safe side. But think
positive, not negative. Your situation is something like mine, and that made me
read everything.
Im cheering for you, and I hope your problem will be solved. Im coming back
again and see how you are doing. Good luck ^^
Most everyone I've talked to about this has told me that I'm going to need to
break up with my boyfriend, but if I do, it's gonna be messy.
He's tried to innitiate a breakup a few times before, but we both ended up
taking it all back after we were hit with the pain of it all. And about a week
ago, he told me that he wasn't quite sure what love was any more. So when I made
this topic, I assumed he didn't really love me either. But then yesterday when I
was talking to him, he said things like, "I love you for loving me,"
and, "I'm so glad I have you," and, "If we get married one
day...".
I can't figure out the best way to clean all of this up.
Alright... Talk to your present boyfriend about both of y'all relationship. Tell
him about the other dude, I'm sure he will understand. If there are no deep
feelings of love, then the best choice is to break up and remain close friends.
I think it's really unfair to your boyfriend that you lied to him and your mind
is thinking about another person. The pain will heal, if you let go it will
heal.
The other guy? Well, if you're already in a relationship, you shouldn't confess
your feelings. That would sometimes be consider cheating and I know you don't
want to cheat. If you're still with your boyfriend, then you should tell him
that you want to be alone when you talk to this guy.
If you and your current boyfriend break up, then talk/ write to the dream guy.
If he's not what you think or idolized him to be, your fantasy will be crush.
Guess what? You're set free from your little fantasy! YAY! ^__^
Be optimistic! Life is still young, don't let it grow old! ^__^ I wish you the
best!
Talking about the future? O.o. That sounds to me that he really likes you O.o.
Breaking up in that moment of feelings can be risky, but if you do that you can
talk/write with the person you like so much. If he is not what you have
imgained, everything is solved. But breaking up with your bf that doesnt know
anything about this can lead to fatal damage and misunderstandings. And if you
confess your feelings to the guy you like without breaking up is cheating. This
problem cant be solved in an instant, you have to be patience and see what time
can bring. Under that long time you will sooner or later get an opportunity to
see how the guy you like really are. Theres not so much more I can say this time
-.-.
Sorry this is so long... but please read it if you have time.
Lets start at the beginning. Two years ago, I was a student aid in the class he had. I didn't notice him at all at first, but he caught my attention after a few months, and I had a tiny crush on him without ever having talked to him. I tried talking to him once, I wanted to so bad, but he was leaving school, so I walked up behind him, kept on walking, and said Hi as i rushed past, blushing.
Nothing ever came of that, fast forward a year. He was a grade younger than me, so that year we were going to different schools. Sometimes while driving to school I would see him standing on the crosswalk. I only got to see him a couple times a month, but I would always watch for him, and when I saw him, it made me happy.
Fast forward another year. He goes to the same school as me now, but I hardly ever see him. I promised myself that I would talk to him one day. Other than that I just watched him when he walked by.
The main issue here is that I have a boyfriend. We aren't really in love any more, but we're close friends, and I couldn't stand to hurt him. It's not fair to him for me to be thinking about this other guy that I don't even know. And yet lately I haven't been able to get him off my mind. This weekend I had had a dream about him every night, so last night I promised myself that I would talk to him today, even if it was just to say hi. I was also hoping that meeting the real him would help crush my images of the fantasy, and I could stop dreaming. This morning I walked around school looking for him, but I ran into my boyfriend first. So I gave up my search and just hung out with my boyfriend. But I was still looking out the window of the room we were in, just in case the guy walked by. But then I noticed that he was in the same room! I just hadn't been able to see him because my veiw was blocked by another group of people. My boyfriend had been hugging me, had his arms around my waist... I really didn't want the guy to see me with my boyfriend, so I tried to hide behind some other people, but they kept moving around and my boyfriend started to notice that something was wrong. He kept asking me what the matter was, but I couldn't tell him, I just felt like I had to get away from him so that the guy wouldn't see me with him. Later I lied and made up some other excuse for why I had been so nervous, and my boyfriend took it. For the rest of the day I couldn't find the guy again, so I ended up not getting to talk to him...
I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm going to drive myself nuts fantasizing about this guy that I know nothing about. I feel like I need to talk to him so that I realize that he's not the idolized version that I've made up to get him off my mind. But how can I talk to him with my boyfriend always with me at the once place I know I'll see him? And I'm also afraid that if I talk to him, he'll realize that I like him. But I'm pretty sure he knows I have a boyfriend. So that would make me a cheater. I don't want to be one, but I can't stop thinking about this guy!
if you really don't like your boyfriend then why are you still with him? i think it's kind of unfair for your boyfriend if you're fantasizing about/trying to catch the gaze of another guy when you guys are still "an item".
easy answer... break up with your boyfriend. since you obviously don't have anything more than platonic feelings for him it's probably hurting him even more not knowing what's going on than if you were to break up with him. you guys are close friends, but there's no way that you can break up and not have one of the two of you get hurt. (trust me i've got the whole dating/breaking up/crushing on area covered when it comes to dating close friends)
lol, i read it all for fun, and to be blunt... stop being a heart tearing inconsiderate person... im using restraint here, for being a guy, let him know HONESTLY what is going on inside.
Actually, let them both know and talk things over openly.
..i feel sorry for your boyfriend cinnamon.. his girlfriend is already wanting someone else and lies to him about it.. if you consider him as just a close friend.. then why are you afraid of being seen with him?.. i'm guessing its cause he doesnt see things that way.. if you dont want to be a cheater then stop lieing to your alleged boyfriend and break up already.. trust me.. you're not going to hurt his feelings.. hurting his feelings is liking someone else while being with him..
*edit*
hey if your friends know and support you then that's all you need. screw everyhting else. (i'm sort of in the same sit as you so don't worry too much about it.)
Why don't you begin by speaking with the guy when you're not with your boyfriend? It's not like you're gonna tell him "I love you" the next time you'll talk to him. And I think you are not really a cheater if the other guy is not your boyfriend. It's not like you can't hang out with other boys while you have a boyfriend, right?
Well, today I tried calling him... I said hi, paused, then got too scared to say anything so I hung up! Ah! I think that just made things worse!
holy shit, write him a letter, just dont write anything that will make the whole school think weird thoughts...
at least tell your current bf that you have weird thoughts, explain it thoroughly
That is unfair on your boyfriend. You will have to leave your present boyfriend if you want to think about going for another guy. Tell him or hint at it every day, be kind and don't break his heart. Good luck! ^_^
Eh, you'll get over him soon. Stick w/ your boyfriend. The same happened to me before. A close friend of mine who has a boyfriend fell in love w/ me, but after a while she realized she can't be with me, so she sticked w/ her boyfriend. I don't know.. maybe you'll feel the same. Good luck.
You hang up? Thats not so good -.-. But dont worry, you will get more chances to talk to him. Start with a letter. Im a guy, and I would be happy to get a letter from a girl. I would feel at ease (no, I wouldnt, but maybe the guy you like ^^') receiving a letter from a girl. If you really like this guy, and you are a close friend with your bf, then he would understand. Having it like this is not so good. A bf and a another guy you like (you are in some serious trouble -.-). But your bf maybe feels different for you than you feel for him. Its hard dealing with feelings, but you have to make a move. Or else you can lose your friend and that guy you like (I dont want to discourage you now). The chance for tht to happen is low, but oyu should always be on the safe side. But think positive, not negative. Your situation is something like mine, and that made me read everything.
Im cheering for you, and I hope your problem will be solved. Im coming back again and see how you are doing. Good luck ^^
Most everyone I've talked to about this has told me that I'm going to need to break up with my boyfriend, but if I do, it's gonna be messy.
He's tried to innitiate a breakup a few times before, but we both ended up taking it all back after we were hit with the pain of it all. And about a week ago, he told me that he wasn't quite sure what love was any more. So when I made this topic, I assumed he didn't really love me either. But then yesterday when I was talking to him, he said things like, "I love you for loving me," and, "I'm so glad I have you," and, "If we get married one day...".
I can't figure out the best way to clean all of this up.
Oh my gosh... You're in a real mess, hon...
Alright... Talk to your present boyfriend about both of y'all relationship. Tell him about the other dude, I'm sure he will understand. If there are no deep feelings of love, then the best choice is to break up and remain close friends. I think it's really unfair to your boyfriend that you lied to him and your mind is thinking about another person. The pain will heal, if you let go it will heal.
The other guy? Well, if you're already in a relationship, you shouldn't confess your feelings. That would sometimes be consider cheating and I know you don't want to cheat. If you're still with your boyfriend, then you should tell him that you want to be alone when you talk to this guy.
If you and your current boyfriend break up, then talk/ write to the dream guy. If he's not what you think or idolized him to be, your fantasy will be crush. Guess what? You're set free from your little fantasy! YAY! ^__^
Be optimistic! Life is still young, don't let it grow old! ^__^ I wish you the best!
Talking about the future? O.o. That sounds to me that he really likes you O.o. Breaking up in that moment of feelings can be risky, but if you do that you can talk/write with the person you like so much. If he is not what you have imgained, everything is solved. But breaking up with your bf that doesnt know anything about this can lead to fatal damage and misunderstandings. And if you confess your feelings to the guy you like without breaking up is cheating. This problem cant be solved in an instant, you have to be patience and see what time can bring. Under that long time you will sooner or later get an opportunity to see how the guy you like really are. Theres not so much more I can say this time -.-.
Good luck with everything ^^