A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was nervous so he
decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves.
"Do you know how they make these gloves?" he asked.
"No, I don't." she responded.
Well," he spoofed, "there's a building in Mexico with a big tank of
latex and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let
them dry, then peel off the finished gloves and throw them into boxes of the
right size." She didn't crack a smile.
"Oh, well. I tried," he thought to himself.
Five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure, she burst out
laughing.
"What's so funny?" he asked. "I was just envisioning how condoms
are made!"
Gotta watch those little old ladies! Their minds are always working.
merged: 01-26-2006 ~ 01:39am
A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate
point in the process, told him that he would now need to enter a password.
Something he will use to log on.
The husband was in a rather humorous mood and figured he would try for the shock
effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to
enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife what he was keying
in.
"P....E....N....I....S.."
His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied: **** PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG
ENOUGH
merged: 01-26-2006 ~ 01:39am
I feel so bad for contributing... LOL!
*runs and hide in shame*
u are muy muy muy muy stupid.....<= don't know how to spell stupid in
spanish....what is an ebaum?.... as i was saiding...that is a dumb joke.. do u
care to explain what she done with the 5% that she didn't lose? and what about
the men take is divorce...
I was a very happy person.
My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided
to get married.
There was only one little thing bothering me...
It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was
twenty-two, wore very tight mini-skirts, and generally was bra-less.
She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a
pleasant view of her cleavage.
It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day my fiance's "little" sister called and asked me to come over
to check the wedding invitations.
She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and
desires for me that she couldn't overcome.
She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married
and committed my life to her sister.
Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.
She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild
fling, just come up and get me."
I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.
When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them down the
stairs at me.
I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front
door.
I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.
Lo and behold, her entire family was standing outside, all clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are
very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better
man for our daughter. Welcome to the family!"
And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car!
merged: 01-26-2006 ~ 03:02pm
A picture to make y'all smile! ^__^
merged: 01-26-2006 ~ 03:04pm
... And... Another one... ^__^
Do just one brave thing today...
... Then run like hell!
hahaha lol very funny i was starting to think wheres the punch line but then the
moral of the story lol Thanks for sharing ?
where do you get these jokes are you make them up on your own?
A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind
of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is
in her menstrual cycle.
For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and
masculine features. However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to
be more attracted to a man with scissors lodged in his temple and a bat jammed
up his ass while he is on fire. Further studies are expected.
lol, just had to share this... swiped from ebaums
What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
Divorced
lol!
That is funny, and truely unique.
LOL! You and your jokes...
So can I post jokes here, too?! ^__^
why is she divorced when she loses that much intellegence?i dont get it
haha, funnyy
I like it, I can't believe you joke on your own kind ...man...haha
A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was nervous so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves.
"Do you know how they make these gloves?" he asked.
"No, I don't." she responded.
Well," he spoofed, "there's a building in Mexico with a big tank of latex and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry, then peel off the finished gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size." She didn't crack a smile.
"Oh, well. I tried," he thought to himself.
Five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure, she burst out laughing.
"What's so funny?" he asked. "I was just envisioning how condoms are made!"
Gotta watch those little old ladies! Their minds are always working.
merged: 01-26-2006 ~ 01:39am
A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he will use to log on.
The husband was in a rather humorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife what he was keying in.
"P....E....N....I....S.."
His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:
**** PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH
merged: 01-26-2006 ~ 01:39am
I feel so bad for contributing... LOL!
*runs and hide in shame*
demented....jokes
merged: 01-26-2006 ~ 02:05am
I'll stop for today... LOL!
Q: What's the hardest part about Skydiving?
A: The Ground
haha HGD lol I have to share those lol espacially the password one and the birthcontrol lol busted out laughing during class
I get no respect, no respect at all
wtf? thats not even remotely funny! (no offence)
The skydiving joke was kind of funny, actually.
*Horse comes in a bar*
Bartender: S'up horse, what can I get ya?
Horse: *sighs* I dun know.
Bartender: Hey, why the long face?
u are muy muy muy muy stupid.....<= don't know how to spell stupid in spanish....what is an ebaum?.... as i was saiding...that is a dumb joke.. do u care to explain what she done with the 5% that she didn't lose? and what about the men take is divorce...
I was a very happy person.
My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.
There was only one little thing bothering me...
It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight mini-skirts, and generally was bra-less.
She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a pleasant view of her cleavage.
It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day my fiance's "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations.
She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome.
She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.
She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me."
I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.
When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.
I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door.
I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.
Lo and behold, her entire family was standing outside, all clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family!"
And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car!
merged: 01-26-2006 ~ 03:02pm
A picture to make y'all smile! ^__^
merged: 01-26-2006 ~ 03:04pm
... And... Another one... ^__^
Do just one brave thing today...
... Then run like hell!
hahaha lol very funny i was starting to think wheres the punch line but then the moral of the story lol Thanks for sharing
?
where do you get these jokes are you make them up on your own?
A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.
For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with scissors lodged in his temple and a bat jammed up his ass while he is on fire. Further studies are expected.
haha lol the kitty so cute and the polar bear haha lol
merged: 01-26-2006 ~ 03:08pm
hahahahah lol i could read these all day long keep um coming
This one? You decide... LOL!
This rabbit could be Beedrill! LOL!
This one looks like... I don't know...
haha the umpalumpa but i have you beat
Pokemon sorry don't know how to thumbnail
LOL! Pika-rat is so cute! ^__^ LOL!
merged: 01-26-2006 ~ 03:32pm
After 4 beers....
After too many Margaritas....
Note how the head must be restrained to prevent it from exploding
After 3 Kamikazes
NOW I WANT TO GET DRUNK, TOO! @_@
hahaha happygreendragonfly funny as usual
and lol at the first joke...sexist and rascist jokes are always the best..(im not rascist and sexist though
")
merged: 01-26-2006 ~ 03:40pm
what does the korean say above the "after 3 kamikazes" dog?
Sorry, hon. I don't read Korean... ^__^