It's been a while since I've posted a thread, but had all these emotions well up inside me I was about to burst and I guess this would be a way to let it all out. Well actually I did burst and started crying uncontrollably. I rarely ever cry, but I was reading Hajime no Ippo manga and it struck a cord and the tears didn't stop flowing.

All the while crying it reminded me something I've always believed in which was the importance of crying, and why it's so difficult especially for a guy to cry. Because when you cry you are truly helpless, you are admitting defeat, all your fears feel as if they are becoming reality... you are losing strength and falling down... and thoughts of not being able to get back up cross your mind... All these are things guys never want to admit let alone show anyone.

However, I feel that this is such a necessary part of life, and will allow you to grow and appreciate your life even more. For when you fall you have to get up, but when you cry it's not physically getting up it's trying to get up mentally. Looking in from the outside it looks like he got up with just his own will and it's his will that keeps him getting up everytime, but I think it's much more then that. My tears came because of fears that I wasn't good enough, because I thought I would fail those I loved, that my efforts were not enough... but it's because of these people's love, their smiles, that allowed me to will myself to get up... I did not get back up with my strength alone... it was because of their belief in me that picked me back up, not just this time but countless of times in the past and I know in the future as well.

Life continues to get more complicated and seems we just get busier and busier and our minds don't ever rest, and we lose sight of that which keeps us going... we dont' want to show our vulnerability, but when we are able to we become what we truly are... human, and when you do others that love you will feel that and come to you and help you rise up and continue stronger then ever.

I'm a more emotional type, and maybe I've generalized more then I should, and apologies to the guys if I've gone too far. But I hold firm to this belief, to the ones I love, it is because of you that no matter how many times I fall down, I will always get up. I am curious though, guys, are you like this too or like I said I'm more emotional?

Guys brains are wired differently, for the most part anyway. Some guys are wired like a woman emotionally, but that is rare, if ever. That's the duality that forms our reality, a paradoxical allegory. You, girls, women, are designed in such a way that you are able to admit defeat and cry your pains out. While us, boys, men, lack the wiring capacity to access defeat as often... remember, we were the hunters that fought for survival and to provide for the benefit of the girl/woman. I know this world is such that the past is not like that anymore, yet we instinctively passed down those genes that best suited each other to complement the other. There is no sex struggle, it's all a generalized view that we sometimes want one sex to feel like the other sometimes. Now that men/guys don't have to hunt, some women/girls decided/forced on the pants and made a living as the dominant one. Yet the true beauty is the relationship to work together, our ability to complement each other. Not compliment, where you say nice things, but complement where you can appreciate the qualities that you do share, and those that differ, working together in unison.

It's also said that guys die faster cause they don't release their emotions and cry... rephrased, women live longer cause they do release their emotions and cry on a higher basis. The emotional variance to the question you posed is broadly expressed that guys think more, girls feel more, and the hemispheres of each other complement the reality we live in as long as it's understood and shared between each other.

My answer is also, who cares if you feel more... you are you... what does it matter what others think? Do others define you, or do you define yourself? Am I off tangent asking?

Well... I'm a girl, so I wouldn't know about what goes through a guy's mind when they cry/feel like crying. But even I don't like crying - I seem to be one of those detatched kind of females, and every time I feel like crying I blink back the tears without actually thinking about what I'm doing.

But I don't think its wrong for anyone to cry. Its been proven its actually good for you to cry, both physically and psychologically. As long as you don't get cry-baby about it, it shouldn't be wrong for anyone, guy or girl, to cry.

Thanks for the detailed response jasaiyajin. My question came at the end, and really contemplated for a while if I should even put it there. I wanted to just state my thoughts, but wasn't sure if that was okay, so tacked on a "question" at the end.

I do agree, I am who I am nothing will change that. If I didn't believe that I would not continue down the tough path I've chosen... i would have already succumbed to the suggestions of others and done what they told me to do... and in doing so I would have lost who I was.

Cry is not wrong, if you cry for a good reason. There are guys who cry for everithing.

crying is ok, but for some reason i never really do. if there is a bad situation i have to make myself cry because i feel obligated to. idk, its really wierd and hard to explain.

I cry quite a lot, but I don't really show it on the outside. I feel the emotions I've always felt when I cry openly, but there are no tears or anything like that. Just feelings. I suppose it's healthy to cry, it means you're acknowledging something about yourself. It's different for everyone, but when I cry it's usually because I've either done something I regret or something I don't regret but know was wrong. It's an internal struggle thing for me.

Of course, I cry openly when I'm happy (tears), but that's different.

i cant remember the last time i cried, but theres nothing wrong crying over emotional things...but in my opinion i think its unmanly to cry when physically hurt, like when being bashed with clubs, breaking a limb etc

I agree with you gemini4life, crying does feel like admiting defeat. As a guy, I never want to admit that. However, there are times when I cry for those admirable acts, typically shown in movies. Those aren't as bad.

It's been quite some time since I really shed tears... Well, I do have moist eyes quite regularly, but as for real tears...

I guess the society you live in have quite an impact on the way you may see a man crying. Personally, I don't really see anything wrong with someone crying from time to time. That's part of being human is. It's not good to pretend being a cold hearted machine that refuses to admit its feelings, you may end up becoming such a monstruosity.

I'm French. Some time ago I read that up until Napoleon's empire (1804 - 1815), French men were more or less 'allowed' to cry. However, Napoleon (who was Corsican, not French) saw this as a proof of weakness. He was one cold guy when it came to power struggle, and to his opinion tears were definitely not suited for people who had to take decisions or defend their opinions. As a consequence, French men had to learn that crying was not suited for them.

I think that mostly the reason men won't cry is because there has been always said that men shouldn't cry because that makes them weak and such. I think it's quite a stupid reason, it's like saying that you can't have feelings or you can't share them.

Okay... so I read the thread, but I'm not at all sure why you wanted me to answer anymore, since this thread seems more directed at men than women...

I'll at least answer this :

Quote by gemini4lifeI'm a more emotional type, and maybe I've generalized more then I should, and apologies to the guys if I've gone too far. But I hold firm to this belief, to the ones I love, it is because of you that no matter how many times I fall down, I will always get up. I am curious though, guys, are you like this too or like I said I'm more emotional?

Yes, you are most definitely emotional
And yes, you did generalize a bit too much... Just an example, I'm a girl, and I'm nowhere near as emotional as you are. My mother questioning my ability to feel is not a little joke I tell everyone just for the fun of it, she does question whether or not I have any feelings... I'm exactly like my father there. Funny, coz' the only person who has seem me crying in years is my mother. And most of my girl friends are exactly like me...

Quote by jasaiyajinGuys brains are wired differently, for the most part anyway. Some guys are wired like a woman emotionally, but that is rare, if ever. That's the duality that forms our reality, a paradoxical allegory. You, girls, women, are designed in such a way that you are able to admit defeat and cry your pains out. While us, boys, men, lack the wiring capacity to access defeat as often... remember, we were the hunters that fought for survival and to provide for the benefit of the girl/woman. I know this world is such that the past is not like that anymore, yet we instinctively passed down those genes that best suited each other to complement the other. There is no sex struggle, it's all a generalized view that we sometimes want one sex to feel like the other sometimes. Now that men/guys don't have to hunt, some women/girls decided/forced on the pants and made a living as the dominant one. Yet the true beauty is the relationship to work together, our ability to complement each other. Not compliment, where you say nice things, but complement where you can appreciate the qualities that you do share, and those that differ, working together in unison.

Quote by geminiAll the while crying it reminded me something I've always believed in which was the importance of crying, and why it's so difficult especially for a guy to cry. Because when you cry you are truly helpless, you are admitting defeat, all your fears feel as if they are becoming reality... you are losing strength and falling down... and thoughts of not being able to get back up cross your mind... All these are things guys never want to admit let alone show anyone.

The both of you actually think it's easier for a girl to admit defeat? I am perfectly well aware that girls cry more often, and feel less obligated to hide it. But, it in no way means that they find it easier. No one likes to cry. No more girls than boys. Then again, personnally, I have never seen any one of my girlfriends start crying in front me, or maybe they just know that I am not the person they should come to for comfort, for various reason, like the fact that I am cold and distant.

While I do agree with Jasaiyajin that both boys and girls are different and are meant to complement each other. I still believe that crying, showing emotions versus not showing them, is not entirely due to sex difference, but mostly due to society itself. Because, if it really was a sex difference, then I don't think guys would have the ability to cry to begin with. Or so, I like to think. Because I don't want to believe that it is only "normal" for girls to burst into tears.

As for crying in general, I never tried to look for a deeper meaning to it. You cry (or try to refrain the tears from coming out) when you need to cry. When you're sad, when you feel lonely, when you lose something important, when you hit your big toe at the corner of a piece of furniture (silly example, but still funny), or when you're in that time of the month when you don't understand yourself anymore (oh wait, this one only applies to girls, one of those hormonal induced differences I'll admit exists between boys and girls... but I only become bitter and aggressive at that time) I only see it as a reaction of the body to relieve pressure. Well, as I mentioned, I'm not the emotional type, this is the kind of things I don't dwell about. I prefer daydreaming about a better or crappier world to asking myself big questions about my emotions.

On another note: yes, crying makes us look vulnerable. Yes, crying makes us human. Yes, in those times, having a shoulder to cry on, someone to come and show you they care must be the best... Honestly, I wouldn't know, I never cried on anyone's shoulder, and I wouldn't want to anyways. To me, sadness is a feeling that only belongs to me, and that I do not want to share. Then, again, I also know I will never be that person people will spontaneously come to when they are having a crisis. Which is why I don't expect that favor from people either. I despise hugs anyways, but that you already know. It doesn't mean I don't care about my family or my friends, on the contrary, I'll always be there to help them out if they need it. But when it comes to emotional issues, I'm the last person they should come to, and everyone who knows me well enough can feel it.

Well, I probably didn't even answer your question... I don't even remember what it was (for my defense, I've been writing and erasing this for almost 2 hours now...)... Now, there are a few things I had on my mind but didn't say, but that's either part of my private life, or i'll include it in the guestbook post I have yet to write (or PM, because your guestbook is messed up right now...)

As men, we simply aren't aware of the deep attachments women seem to make... it could be to anything. Besides, a woman's mind is like a comet the size of texas headed towards the earth; if you can't steer it away, then it's going to leave an impact.

lol... no offense, just the truth!