Imagine on a situation....

You are JUST alone...
You tend to laugh...
You tend to be happy for others...
You smile in the lonely times...
You have lots of friends...
You and your friends are a bond...

Then...you found out that you are not happy... with what you are now. Because at your back there were countless allegations that you tend to breakaway...just like me..

Its like I always pretend to myself that I don't care for what these shadows reflect, but I can't lie to myself. I am hurt so what? They don't care anyways. I live as if I'm alone, that people sorrounded me would never notice that I disappeared, become extinct, like I never existed.

I got lost in my own realm, seeking for dark eternity. Then I saw a distant light. I was so happy, that I reached for that spark. But it left me, just as I was stepping on the bright side...

z=pathetic isn't it=z

Nah not at all...in fact love that is the story of my life. When I was young the world was soooo small and I couldn't see past the crippling depression I had been formed into by everyone including myself. You realize harshly that you are just a small speck in the grand scheme of things and it's hard to think about how your little existence will ever affect the center figure you and your tiny fate or destiny for if I were to die right now the world would continue on like nothing had happened. I wanted death, the sweet release of it and not caring who I would hurt if any at all. I even thought people would be overjoyed that I was gone...then I started thinking. I can kick the ass of anyone that gives me a wired look and everyone is just as small as I am...yeah big ego boost there; not that I would tell anyone besides you love and the people that post after me. We all fall sometimes so harder than most and some even can't recover. I believe with all of my heart that if you were to die or anyone were to die before their time they would return to the life exactly as it was before it ended with no prior knowledge of ever being there save gut instinct. So cheer up love I don't like it when one of friends is suffering...it hurts my heart.

i have experienced the same thing like you. and i really really down at that time, i even think to suicide. everything i do is just not correct at all. i'm stress out myself. but, my best friends are really sweet. they make me notice that, "i'm not that alone," because they kept telling me, "what had happened to you?" and i think that's a small thing but it saved me.

and best solution for ya: "think a thing that only you could do it" and you'll find that you're worthy for da life. and you'll never think you're unworthy and small things that you do could change what-will-happen-to-everyone-around-you.... just think that, okay?

You can think that. You can think that you are insignificant and nothing you do will matter. I used to be like that, but now I have done something else. Here's what I thought.
1: My parents would be sad if I killed myself
2: Everyone else is insignificant as well
3: There could be someone that I don't know who has a crush on me (I found out a few days ago that someone DOES have a crush on me, but I don't know who... )
If you say that others are more significant than you, that your parents don't love you, and that no one else could, then think of this.
4: Life doesn't give you meaning, you give life meaning

Sometimes I still get depressed and feel like it's not worth it, however I sty cheerful because after I improved myself and dusted myself off, I have friends, I am now positive my family would miss me if I die because I notice the love they send me more (and because I do all sorts of helpful thingas that I never talk about, so the house would get way dirtier if I died... Bwahahaha...), and now some girl has a crush on me

So all I can say to help you is this now:

Improve yourself and you will be better than those around you, and this, some lyircs from a song.

***So never give up - never give in ***
***Rise from the fire if you're gonna win ***
***Sing with your soul - soon you'll be old ***
***Fight the demons inside you ***
***There is no limit to what can be done ***
***Climb every mountain with power so strong ***
***Dusty roads on the way - leaving the past behind you ***

what you wrote doesn't make much sense. maybe it's the bad english. but i can gather that you seem a bit sad. well be sad for the time being, then whenever you're tired of being sad be another way. it is as simple as that. and remember, life has no meaning and don't try to find meaning or place meaning to life. if you do you only make it that much more difficult to live in peace with yourself. listen to the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy radio show. it is splendid. and strawberries don't taste as good as blackberries. rain is wonderful, but it makes your feet wet which is a bummer. eating food too fast will probably make you feel sick later, but at the time it was worth it. wheat when it is long and green is lovely to look at in the wind. vanilla soy milk works wonders with cereal. and life is just a word eh? cheers friend.

Hey, welcome to the human race, Blackdagger. There'll always be times of darkness in life. But it's always darkest before the dawn. At least that's been my experience.

Hmmm, do you like have one of those lamps, where if someone claps it turns on, because maybe in your excitment, you were clapping, and it turned off. But don't worry, just start clapping again and it will turn back on