You're the light of warmth
When my world is cold and dark

You are my source of strength
When I'm too weak to stand

You are my ray of hope
In the blackness of despair

Now here's my chance to show my thanks
To return to you what has been done for me
For more than you know you are dear in my life
I will protect you, keep you safe, never let go.

Listen to these words I say
Words that will remain forever true
Forever and always I'll be there for you,
Stand by you, even if I die

This promise I will never betray
I will never leave your side
I swear to you this oath to keep
Forever...
And always
-------
Well whaddaya think? my first (pathetic) attempt at a poem. or song, i really haven't decided, but it's starting to look better for a song.. ah, heck.
I've never really written a poem before in any language (i'm bilingual) which would explain the crappiness compared to other poems here.. Critics are more than welcome, but no flames pls..

Dedicated to the most important person in my life..

dude i'm no poem critic, but considering it your first poem, i think its good.. but dont trust my word, i'm not smart at litirature..

its a good atempt ^^ You might want to change some words to make it flow better! But other than that, great job ^o^ I look forword to more of these ^^

love it you did a great job on this. keep it up for sure

lets me go over it again....well i think nothing, to me there is no such thing as a good or bad poem considering the fact that it comes from somebodies heart. other than that i like it for your first attempt rituel, your already a good writer so im sure that your poetic skills can only flourish

hey, thanks for the positive input y'all! ^^
but really, i think i'll stick to writing novels instead.. so don't put your hopes up too high for another one..

good poem but itsaounds like a bad love story
on the up side i will look for more of your poems or songs

*has read it over three times* Ritsan! ^^ .. Oo. And you say this is pathetic ... Your feelings are clearly there, it's not overly buried in metaphors or in fancy language, as in what some people do, but it's there, in simple words, and simplicity is sometimes the best way. Yes, the flow could be corrected a little, and the rythm is interrupted slightly, but keep writing more and you'll be good at it.. ^^ .. trust me..

Bluearth has a good point. The flow of it needs a little tweaking. Hey but other than that it's pretty good as it being your first and all. Keep at it and it will get easier. Just remember the structure is the hardest part.

I feel that this is a good attempt..
But somehow i would prefer you to write a poem with deep meaning within it...
Probably your poem is too straight...