For the past several months, I have fallen for one of my female friends. I asked
her to prom 2 months before, and was unaware of how much I liked her until
recently. However prom night was not how I expected it would be. I was awfully
quiet throughout the night, and full of regrets. That night I became drunk, and
came back home pretty late in the morning, to be exact, 3:30am. I filled with
sorrow and regretfulness, so I called her and told her how I felt about her. I
was crushed by her response. Only wanting to be friends. Even though this is
better than being ignored, I've been having difficulty functioning with my
school work and activities. I understand her judgement though and agree with
her. I find her to be someone I'd like to spend most of my time with. Even
though I'm really interested in her, I cannot talk to her. I haven't talked to
her for past few days now. I don't know how to talk to her...
My friends keep telling me to find someone else or I'll find someone else who is
better and feels the same way about me. But I do not want better nor worse. I
want her. However now I have to move on because she wants to be friends. I'd
like to move on, but it's really difficult. So have you ever fallen for your
friend? been in my situation? any suggestions?
wow KyRei u reallie toke things to the heart...im so sad for u..........i saw
earlier ur post on the friend u like but she jux wanted to be ur
friend.........aw.....
i knoe its hard to move on like hella hard but i was like u except the part
about the friend thing...u see i love my ex for like 3 years thats hella
long........but time easily ease the pain and u should talk to the gurl u like
becuz not seeing her is more painful than keeping everything inside.........so i
hope i helped u
Quote by sakaji22wow KyRei u reallie
toke things to the heart...im so sad for u..........i saw earlier ur post on the
friend u like but she jux wanted to be ur friend.........aw.....
i knoe its hard to move on like hella hard but i was like u except the part
about the friend thing...u see i love my ex for like 3 years thats hella
long........but time easily ease the pain and u should talk to the gurl u like
becuz not seeing her is more painful than keeping everything inside.........so i
hope i helped u
That's true even though it hurts right now soon you won't even notice the
tension that was there before and you still have your friend.......I hope you
feel better
For me, my friends and I have always kept a professional conduct amongst
ourselves, a few a little more mutual than several others. In fact, I'll be
honest that I've never even thought about any concerns towards this kind of
deepened relationship from a long shot, for almost nearly ever since I was born,
and I wouldn't have it any other way. People have... well, let's just say a few
have tried in my lifetime asking me desparately to be their girlfriend, but I
was purely focused on my studies and I didn't bother have the time to talk to
them, so I regrettably put them off, even though by my constant awkward
ignorance that I never intended to put out, we surely got off the wrong foot. Of
course, that's just what life is all about, and people like us move onwards.
That's all. You gain some, and you lose some.
After reading your story, I was kind of quite intrigued by your response and how
you reacted kindly towards that girl you were mentioning here. I kind of feel a
little sympathetic that you have to lose someone like that along the way, but
that's the unexpected pitches and curveballs of life. One thing was narrowed
down though: you asked, and she replied. At least what you did was actually one
step towards the right direction, no matter how harmful or hurtful you would
probably feel afterwards. With that kind of courage you summoned over time, you
should be congratulated for your efforts, and with the way you were thinking
that time, I'd have to say you did a wonderful job handling the situation well
thus far. You now know that perhaps it's probably about time to look for someone
else, and not particularly just that single friend of yours. Then again, she
could come back to you and change her mind. Who knows? Maybe your friend had
probably thought deeply about it when you claimed that you wished to be with
her, and I'm sure she is probably just overreacting as some sort of
sophisticated expression. Regardless, its best to respect her wishes, and what
she said was probably how she meant it to be. At least I hope that you will
still be great friends in the long run, because even in these awkward moments,
at least if you've known each other long enough to be considered good friends,
it wouldn't be a problem really.
ehehehe,,
don't look for somebody else just to forget her,, you'll ended up hurting
yourself, the one you like and the girl you will try to like..
i've been in that situation,, (but i never told my friend how i feel about
him),,. i just kept my feeling of liking him, until i finally forget about
him...
its not very hurtful as long as your not obsess,..
actually, in your situation,, you're not the only one that is hurt,,
that girl is also hurt about what happened
anyway, the best thing to do is to keep your love, work harded...be at your best
for her,, it shouldn't affect your studies or work,.. (be professional!)
rorenzu, I don't think that would be a wise thing to do... After all, if you
keep a love that cannot be, then you'll only end up hurting yourself. Moving on
is the best solution, although it's also the most difficult... Here are a few
hints:
- Don't try to go through it all by yourself. You know what they say - 'a friend
in need is a friend indeed'. So try to spend some time with your friends, doing
something you enjoy and having fun. This can help take your mind off what
happened. Your friends can really be of help here.
- Don't keep it all inside - just talk about it to one or two persons you can
trust (in real life, I mean - talking face-to-face is usually more intense than
via the Internet). Tell them everything, pour it out and you'll see you feel
better after that (just remember to find someone you can trust).
- And last but not least, remember that, to some extent, you yourself decide how
you feel. If you have a strong desire to move on and simply push the pain of
what happened away, then things will happen much easier and you'll be better
soon.
i know how difficult it is to move on. even though i'm in college now and i
broke up with my ex in my senior year, i still haven't completely moved on. it
isn't exactly the best solution, but i know of a few people who were able to
move on faster after they found someone else. it doesn't really work for
everyone though. however, i do agree with what Odeena said. friends are really
the best people to have around at times like these. talking to them will help
you feel better. you can also do what i did...since my ex and i still aren't on
talking terms yet, i ended up just writing everything that i felt on paper. if
you aren't ready to talk to your friends about it, this is still a good way to
gain some closure and move on.
Dude, if itt makes you feel better, I've been rejected 3 times in a row, over
the past 6 years, to girls that I'm friends with. I've never had a girlfriend,
and I had a date to prom, until her mom said that she couldn't go. As of the
present, I haven't liked any girls since. I guess, I feel there's no one and
nothing for me here in my hometown (good thing i'm going to be going to a
college about an hour and a half away).
So, I guess I'm like you, but worse (hey, just saying it like it is). In any
case, regardless, you probably will move on as time passes. Look at me! I got
over my past failures. Needless to say, dude, there ARE other girls, and trust
me, the day will come when you'll find that perfect girlfriend, and you'll look
back and say, "Wow, I only wish that I met her sooner!"
I remeber being in a similar situation before, infact it was December 26th 2005
(yeah just after christmas too). I had always had a crush on this girl and it
lasted for a year too. Anyway it had seemed like if she was interested in me so
on that day I had asked her what her true feeling for me was. I was abit shocked
as she said the same thing your girl had said. "Just friends" I was
heartbroken as these words that were said to me. What had happened was that she
had fallen for another guy and now their together. The funny thing about it was
that that guy was in no better position in that he too was abit shy towards her
but things went his way and not mine and now the both of them are together. Well
what followed December 26th was eight days of depression that I names
"(number of days) after the truth. At first I didn't want to talk to her
ever again but then I realized that just because she rejected me doesn't mean or
friendship should have ended. The beauty of it all was that now the two of us
are bestfriends. Infact she's practically my big sis as she's always looking out
for me.
I'm sure by now that the two of you are now even better friends as what happened
to me.
Your friends tell you to find someone else because commonly that is the easiest
way to distract yourself. Plus generally most people crave company.
Of course its not easy to find someone who can just fill that gap. But she has
already turned you down, so I think you should just come to grips with that
response and realise that she just doesn't see you in that way. Maybe if you try
to talk to her again and accept her as just a friend and not as potential for
any thing else you might be able to feel a bit more like your previous self
lol.
well.. u must get over it tough! she's not the only girl in the world, n i
believe not around you too.. it's not worth it for u to drop your school work
because of this girl.. it maybe hard, but just try ur best ok!
honestly i've neva been on that situation, so i dunno if my suggestion will
really work .. but cha you n GBU! ^^
Hei I think is good you got your best shot I try to do something with her but is
she dont response in the same feel so maybe is good you see look a round, she is
not the only one, if you are young you have all your life in front and many
possibilitys for found someone else my dear friends don´t
lose your pacience the number one soon is coming to you you have to looking
carefully and dont be afraid be your self the woman like that (trust me Im
woman)
good look
I'm pretty much in the same position as you... Only my girl said no. And that
was over a year ago. I still cant stop thinking about her.
Listen. Really listen.
She said she only wants to be friends. Thats what she wants. If she ever changes
her mind. SHE'LL be the one to tell you. But don't go thinking its pointless.
Remember to motivate yourself to look good (dont look like you feel, unless its
good), you'll feel better. And motivation can be really hard when you freel like
crap. I'm not going to tell you to forget about her, most likely because you'll
just ignore it. Nor am I going to tell you to look for someone else. I want you
to think about what it is you really want. You'll know when you find something
worth fighting for.
Heartfelt condolences dude. it happens everytime,well,move on with life i guess.
it hurts very much at first,but for me, as long as the heartache is very
impactful, i can just drop my love for the girl. somehow it works. but since she
said u can only be her fren,well,i guess tat leaves some hope for u in ur heart
eh? haha,dun give up i guess. be her fren for the time being, maybe she'll be
attracted to u someday ya? ^_^
KyRei , i feel for you ! And share your pain as well!
I am in the same situation with you as well (about 3 weeks after yours) but no
hard feelings, it is a blessing to be friends.
Been friends doesn't mean she hate or detest your companionship around. It may
mean she wasn't aware of your feelings or she wasn't prepared for it when u
confess.
A crush, infatuation is really hard to suppress, we know that. Figure someway to
express out in an informal way.
Hey, don't give up your friendship just because of this.Who knows ? One day she
will be attracted to you!
I'm not rushing you to move on or wat, just happens that i happened to be in the
same boat with you!
Be yourself again! Who knows ? One day she will be attracted to you!
Let as Time Runs.
Quote by EinzbernHeartfelt condolences
dude. it happens everytime,well,move on with life i guess. it hurts very much at
first,but for me, as long as the heartache is very impactful, i can just drop my
love for the girl. somehow it works. but since she said u can only be her
fren,well,i guess tat leaves some hope for u in ur heart eh? haha,dun give up i
guess. be her fren for the time being, maybe she'll be attracted to u someday
ya? ^_^
you can't do anything to change her.you just have to change yourself.its not her fault she doesn't like
you the way you like her.i mean, you can't control these kind of thing
right?yes, you're heartbroken, but she isn't.she probably feels bad about it,
but that won't change the fact that she is not interested in you in that
sense.
so as a stranger unsure of the exact situation, here's my opinion.move on if you
want, don't if you don't.just don't take out your frustration on anyone be it
your female friend, or your family members, or a stranger.nobody is at fault for
this problem, not even you, so don't blame anyone either.what can you do?that's
for you to decide on your own.no one can tell you exactly is the right thing to
do right now, except yourself and after making your decision, don't turn back
because doing that will only lead to more trouble.just look forward and move
when you are ready cos if you move on because of others' insistence, you'll only
blame them when something goes wrong because of your indecision earlier.of
course, you have to move on even when you're not ready if you're now an
alcoholic or something of that nature.maybe pick up a sport, or some social
thing to meet others not to try and get hooked with someone but to get over the
heartbreak and continue with life.being busy helps distract you from pain of any
kind
i'm female, and i probably won't ever really understand your position, but i can
give you a girl's perspectives on this thing so if you need anything more, i'm
always here to help where i can (:
For the past several months, I have fallen for one of my female friends. I asked her to prom 2 months before, and was unaware of how much I liked her until recently. However prom night was not how I expected it would be. I was awfully quiet throughout the night, and full of regrets. That night I became drunk, and came back home pretty late in the morning, to be exact, 3:30am. I filled with sorrow and regretfulness, so I called her and told her how I felt about her. I was crushed by her response. Only wanting to be friends. Even though this is better than being ignored, I've been having difficulty functioning with my school work and activities. I understand her judgement though and agree with her. I find her to be someone I'd like to spend most of my time with. Even though I'm really interested in her, I cannot talk to her. I haven't talked to her for past few days now. I don't know how to talk to her...
My friends keep telling me to find someone else or I'll find someone else who is better and feels the same way about me. But I do not want better nor worse. I want her. However now I have to move on because she wants to be friends. I'd like to move on, but it's really difficult. So have you ever fallen for your friend? been in my situation? any suggestions?
wow KyRei u reallie toke things to the heart...im so sad for u..........i saw earlier ur post on the friend u like but she jux wanted to be ur friend.........aw.....
i knoe its hard to move on like hella hard but i was like u except the part about the friend thing...u see i love my ex for like 3 years thats hella long........but time easily ease the pain and u should talk to the gurl u like becuz not seeing her is more painful than keeping everything inside.........so i hope i helped u
That's true even though it hurts right now soon you won't even notice the tension that was there before and you still have your friend.......I hope you feel better
Thank you guys for your concern. I feel a little better than before.
For me, my friends and I have always kept a professional conduct amongst ourselves, a few a little more mutual than several others. In fact, I'll be honest that I've never even thought about any concerns towards this kind of deepened relationship from a long shot, for almost nearly ever since I was born, and I wouldn't have it any other way. People have... well, let's just say a few have tried in my lifetime asking me desparately to be their girlfriend, but I was purely focused on my studies and I didn't bother have the time to talk to them, so I regrettably put them off, even though by my constant awkward ignorance that I never intended to put out, we surely got off the wrong foot. Of course, that's just what life is all about, and people like us move onwards. That's all. You gain some, and you lose some.
After reading your story, I was kind of quite intrigued by your response and how you reacted kindly towards that girl you were mentioning here. I kind of feel a little sympathetic that you have to lose someone like that along the way, but that's the unexpected pitches and curveballs of life. One thing was narrowed down though: you asked, and she replied. At least what you did was actually one step towards the right direction, no matter how harmful or hurtful you would probably feel afterwards. With that kind of courage you summoned over time, you should be congratulated for your efforts, and with the way you were thinking that time, I'd have to say you did a wonderful job handling the situation well thus far. You now know that perhaps it's probably about time to look for someone else, and not particularly just that single friend of yours. Then again, she could come back to you and change her mind. Who knows? Maybe your friend had probably thought deeply about it when you claimed that you wished to be with her, and I'm sure she is probably just overreacting as some sort of sophisticated expression. Regardless, its best to respect her wishes, and what she said was probably how she meant it to be. At least I hope that you will still be great friends in the long run, because even in these awkward moments, at least if you've known each other long enough to be considered good friends, it wouldn't be a problem really.
ehehehe,,
don't look for somebody else just to forget her,, you'll ended up hurting yourself, the one you like and the girl you will try to like..
i've been in that situation,, (but i never told my friend how i feel about him),,. i just kept my feeling of liking him, until i finally forget about him...
its not very hurtful as long as your not obsess,..
actually, in your situation,, you're not the only one that is hurt,,
that girl is also hurt about what happened
anyway, the best thing to do is to keep your love, work harded...be at your best for her,, it shouldn't affect your studies or work,.. (be professional!)
rorenzu, I don't think that would be a wise thing to do... After all, if you keep a love that cannot be, then you'll only end up hurting yourself. Moving on is the best solution, although it's also the most difficult... Here are a few hints:
- Don't try to go through it all by yourself. You know what they say - 'a friend in need is a friend indeed'. So try to spend some time with your friends, doing something you enjoy and having fun. This can help take your mind off what happened. Your friends can really be of help here.
- Don't keep it all inside - just talk about it to one or two persons you can trust (in real life, I mean - talking face-to-face is usually more intense than via the Internet). Tell them everything, pour it out and you'll see you feel better after that (just remember to find someone you can trust).
- And last but not least, remember that, to some extent, you yourself decide how you feel. If you have a strong desire to move on and simply push the pain of what happened away, then things will happen much easier and you'll be better soon.
All the best luck!
well im happie can help^^
i know how difficult it is to move on. even though i'm in college now and i broke up with my ex in my senior year, i still haven't completely moved on. it isn't exactly the best solution, but i know of a few people who were able to move on faster after they found someone else. it doesn't really work for everyone though. however, i do agree with what Odeena said. friends are really the best people to have around at times like these. talking to them will help you feel better. you can also do what i did...since my ex and i still aren't on talking terms yet, i ended up just writing everything that i felt on paper. if you aren't ready to talk to your friends about it, this is still a good way to gain some closure and move on.
Dude, if itt makes you feel better, I've been rejected 3 times in a row, over the past 6 years, to girls that I'm friends with. I've never had a girlfriend, and I had a date to prom, until her mom said that she couldn't go. As of the present, I haven't liked any girls since. I guess, I feel there's no one and nothing for me here in my hometown (good thing i'm going to be going to a college about an hour and a half away).
So, I guess I'm like you, but worse (hey, just saying it like it is). In any case, regardless, you probably will move on as time passes. Look at me! I got over my past failures. Needless to say, dude, there ARE other girls, and trust me, the day will come when you'll find that perfect girlfriend, and you'll look back and say, "Wow, I only wish that I met her sooner!"
I remeber being in a similar situation before, infact it was December 26th 2005 (yeah just after christmas too). I had always had a crush on this girl and it lasted for a year too. Anyway it had seemed like if she was interested in me so on that day I had asked her what her true feeling for me was. I was abit shocked as she said the same thing your girl had said. "Just friends" I was heartbroken as these words that were said to me. What had happened was that she had fallen for another guy and now their together. The funny thing about it was that that guy was in no better position in that he too was abit shy towards her but things went his way and not mine and now the both of them are together. Well what followed December 26th was eight days of depression that I names "(number of days) after the truth. At first I didn't want to talk to her ever again but then I realized that just because she rejected me doesn't mean or friendship should have ended. The beauty of it all was that now the two of us are bestfriends. Infact she's practically my big sis as she's always looking out for me.
I'm sure by now that the two of you are now even better friends as what happened to me.
Well there really is no easy way to move on
Your friends tell you to find someone else because commonly that is the easiest way to distract yourself. Plus generally most people crave company.
Of course its not easy to find someone who can just fill that gap. But she has already turned you down, so I think you should just come to grips with that response and realise that she just doesn't see you in that way. Maybe if you try to talk to her again and accept her as just a friend and not as potential for any thing else you might be able to feel a bit more like your previous self lol.
well.. u must get over it tough! she's not the only girl in the world, n i believe not around you too.. it's not worth it for u to drop your school work because of this girl.. it maybe hard, but just try ur best ok!
honestly i've neva been on that situation, so i dunno if my suggestion will really work
.. but cha you n GBU! ^^
Hei I think is good you got your best shot I try to do something with her but is she dont response in the same feel so maybe is good you see look a round, she is not the only one, if you are young you have all your life in front and many possibilitys for found someone else my dear friends don´t lose your pacience the number one soon is coming to you you have to looking carefully and dont be afraid be your self the woman like that (trust me Im woman)
good look
I'm pretty much in the same position as you... Only my girl said no. And that was over a year ago. I still cant stop thinking about her.
Listen. Really listen.
She said she only wants to be friends. Thats what she wants. If she ever changes her mind. SHE'LL be the one to tell you. But don't go thinking its pointless. Remember to motivate yourself to look good (dont look like you feel, unless its good), you'll feel better. And motivation can be really hard when you freel like crap. I'm not going to tell you to forget about her, most likely because you'll just ignore it. Nor am I going to tell you to look for someone else. I want you to think about what it is you really want. You'll know when you find something worth fighting for.
Good luck man. I mean that.
Heartfelt condolences dude. it happens everytime,well,move on with life i guess. it hurts very much at first,but for me, as long as the heartache is very impactful, i can just drop my love for the girl. somehow it works. but since she said u can only be her fren,well,i guess tat leaves some hope for u in ur heart eh? haha,dun give up i guess. be her fren for the time being, maybe she'll be attracted to u someday ya? ^_^
KyRei, consider yourself happy, since she still keep you as a friend.
In my situation, I couldn't even confess before he knew how I feel, then we can't even be friends. ^^'
So yeah, considered as a friend is also a blessing in disguise. At least if you can't forget, you can still ask years from now.
KyRei , i feel for you ! And share your pain as well!
I am in the same situation with you as well (about 3 weeks after yours) but no hard feelings, it is a blessing to be friends.
Been friends doesn't mean she hate or detest your companionship around. It may mean she wasn't aware of your feelings or she wasn't prepared for it when u confess.
A crush, infatuation is really hard to suppress, we know that. Figure someway to express out in an informal way.
Hey, don't give up your friendship just because of this.Who knows ? One day she will be attracted to you!
I'm not rushing you to move on or wat, just happens that i happened to be in the same boat with you!
Be yourself again! Who knows ? One day she will be attracted to you!
Let as Time Runs.
Truth. Geez , i sound extra in here. Lol.
you can't do anything to change her.you just have to change yourself.its not her fault she doesn't like you the way you like her.i mean, you can't control these kind of thing right?yes, you're heartbroken, but she isn't.she probably feels bad about it, but that won't change the fact that she is not interested in you in that sense.
so as a stranger unsure of the exact situation, here's my opinion.move on if you want, don't if you don't.just don't take out your frustration on anyone be it your female friend, or your family members, or a stranger.nobody is at fault for this problem, not even you, so don't blame anyone either.what can you do?that's for you to decide on your own.no one can tell you exactly is the right thing to do right now, except yourself and after making your decision, don't turn back because doing that will only lead to more trouble.just look forward and move when you are ready cos if you move on because of others' insistence, you'll only blame them when something goes wrong because of your indecision earlier.of course, you have to move on even when you're not ready if you're now an alcoholic or something of that nature.maybe pick up a sport, or some social thing to meet others not to try and get hooked with someone but to get over the heartbreak and continue with life.being busy helps distract you from pain of any kind
i'm female, and i probably won't ever really understand your position, but i can give you a girl's perspectives on this thing so if you need anything more, i'm always here to help where i can (: