My parents decided to adopt a baby four years ago. At first, I was so glad when
the 6-month old baby named Love arrived at our house since I like babies very
much. Now, four years have passed, and that baby grew into a four-year-old
snuggish, spoiled,nasty brat.
I know, she still so young and still innocent about this world. But what bothers
me is the way my mom acted on me and her. When she messes up, I'm the one who's
scolded for her mistake...It was always me...And the more mess Love makes , the
more she scolds...Love is getting spoiled too much that she cries even if I
didn't do anything to her. My aunt told me that it is very natural for adopted
children to act like that. But it is wrong...I tried to tell my mom what I felt.
Love makes the mess, so she should be the one who must be scolded, not me... My
mom even told me that Love is still young so she scolds me instead of her.
I think my mom is wrong. Children should be scolded to let them know that they
are wrong. Scolding someone else for their mistake makes them spoiled and they
tend to mess things up thinking that the blame will not fall on them...So what
do you think? Am I right or is it the other way around? How should I cope up
with this mess?
I have a younger brother myself and I understand your pain because when he
entered the family everything was centered around him and everything he did
wrong I was blamed for because I was the "oldest" one... Your
reasoning makes perfect sense ideally, however, in the real life it just doesnt
work...
Parenting is always based on the youngest child of the family but when you grow
up, your parents love the oldest child more. The only reason parents defend the
younger kid is because they are the youngest. Even though, it doesnt make sense,
us "older" brother or sister is supposed to give it up because we have
to be more mature.
It is hard and I remember my lil bro being a sniveling little brat but hes
growing up and even though, he still is a sniveling little brat he doesnt get
away with everything... as he grows up he's supposed to get more mature and
parents should understand that... Little kids are ignorant of their surroundings
so parents let it slide but wait till they grow up... Its game over... BUT I
STILL LOVE MY LIL BRO VERY MUCH!
You know, when I often was babysitting younger children as a preteen, we were
often put into the head of responsibilities over at our table here, and it
always had to point to the person who was the oldest of the bunch. When I notice
that something had been done wrong, in front of even their parents at certain
times, I do solely and personally take the blame, even though they really knew
in the back of their minds that it totally wasn't my fault. I wouldn't really
argue often though in return, simply because my role was in fact to look after
them and make sure they are instucted well on the do's and do not's when
behaving typically while living under the house.
It was an awkward scenario, though, because quite often it was the general
mentality and rule of thumb that the parents who tend to tell younger people
other than their children what to do is highly not regarded as much as one would
often think, hence the term: "Why does my parents always blame on me, but
never you?"
Highly regardless of the situation, it was all well done and said at the end and
things didn't really turn out for the worse of me overall as we wrapped it up in
the long run. It was a quite a burdening life long experience and acceptance to
how tough life may be, and I'm not really regretting about it, since it teach
and show me a lot of things I wouldn't have even realized, had I turned the
other way around and hadn't even bothered.
Quote by blackdaggerLove makes the
mess, so she should be the one who must be scolded, not me... My mom even told
me that Love is still young so she scolds me instead of her.
I think my mom is wrong. Children should be scolded to let them know that they
are wrong. Scolding someone else for their mistake makes them spoiled and they
tend to mess things up thinking that the blame will not fall on them...So what
do you think? Am I right or is it the other way around? How should I cope up
with this mess?
Lucky for me, I was an only child.
**Snickers** As for your mother scolding you, it was probably just some
redirected ventilation in throwing some of her stress away from the youngest one
who hasn't developed quite a mental picture as of yet considering her age,
directly upon you - and it is in fact wrong, I'll agree. Parents should never
deal with their stress by screaming and shouting at their children. My mother
was stressful at times while I was very young, and sure, she might have gone a
little angry at times, but most of it, she was able to handle well because she
knew she had to do something about it, not just sit around and complain for
once. Your mother probably in the back of her mind says that this child is a big
problem and mess in her life, and maybe she regrets and feels sorry for you
somehow, even though she would never tell. Regardless, you should just go on and
keep voicing your opinions even when the going gets tough. It's better than
nothing, you know, and constantly taking the blame isn't fair even if you
haven't actually done something wrong. Maybe you'll like this Love person as she
personally grows up. Who knows? She is still quite young though, in my own
opinion, so outlashing at her mentally wouldn't be the best fit in the long
run.
Quote by mizuhiAw well, that's the usual
family problem. there's always favoritism. Get used to it. Theyougest will
always be favored.
I highly disagree with you at that point.
Sometimes, parents look at the much older one as they start to grow a life of
their own, and they'll feel much prouder of the oldest one, overshadowing the
younger one in general. It really depends from person to person, but sometimes,
it just happens to go the other way around as to who gets through favoritism,
technically enough.
And because of that...the conflict between me and my mom was getting worse...Now
she scolds even if I don't do anything...That kid is getting in my nerves....And
to think of it that I was the REAL child, not her....
Quote by blackdaggerMy parents
decided to adopt a baby four years ago. At first, I was so glad when the 6-month
old baby named Love arrived at our house since I like babies very much. Now,
four years have passed, and that baby grew into a four-year-old snuggish,
spoiled,nasty brat.
I know, she still so young and still innocent about this world. But what bothers
me is the way my mom acted on me and her. When she messes up, I'm the one who's
scolded for her mistake...It was always me...And the more mess Love makes , the
more she scolds...Love is getting spoiled too much that she cries even if I
didn't do anything to her. My aunt told me that it is very natural for adopted
children to act like that. But it is wrong...I tried to tell my mom what I felt.
Love makes the mess, so she should be the one who must be scolded, not me... My
mom even told me that Love is still young so she scolds me instead of her.
I think my mom is wrong. Children should be scolded to let them know that they
are wrong. Scolding someone else for their mistake makes them spoiled and they
tend to mess things up thinking that the blame will not fall on them...So what
do you think? Am I right or is it the other way around? How should I cope up
with this mess?
hehehe... i think you should someday try to think like your mom does..
just to see what the hell is she thinkin..
try to think that there is a little kid like your "sister" and there
is the "big" you..
she problably sees her like an unprotected shild, where anything could harm
her..
but she problably sees you like someone who has already grown away from
harm..
try to understand her.. and after that.. try to talk with her.. after you
discover how your mom feels..
try to talk to your mom to "resolve" this up..
and never the less.. PATIENT.. your mom maybe wrong.. maybe not..
but until something is settled.. have LOTS OF PATIENT !
lol.. i can understand you because i have a younger sister..
ALWAYS like this..
Scolding someone for the other persons mistakes is so unlogical that I barely
believe it, lol. And yes, a child should be scolded if it does something bad. I
mean, otherwise how the hell will it know what is right and wrong in this world?
Honestly, scolding is a must if you want to raise a child properly. Otherwise
you get a "snuggish, spoiled,nasty brat" and then it will be harder to
change.
Anyway I seriously feel for you, because I can imagine in what a totally anoying
and nervous situation you are. Try talking to your mom more. Either she will
understand or I don't really see a way out of this.
Reason and logic are your friends, if you didnt really do anything then if she
listens and uses her mind then she should realise the flaw in her judgement even
though she doesn't want to.
Scolding is VERY important, it is normal for a person to understand that some
things are right and some things are wrong.
If a person can't set apart right from wrong then they become what we call
"a bad person", which of course hardly anyone like.
My parents decided to adopt a baby four years ago. At first, I was so glad when the 6-month old baby named Love arrived at our house since I like babies very much. Now, four years have passed, and that baby grew into a four-year-old snuggish, spoiled,nasty brat.
I know, she still so young and still innocent about this world. But what bothers me is the way my mom acted on me and her. When she messes up, I'm the one who's scolded for her mistake...It was always me...And the more mess Love makes , the more she scolds...Love is getting spoiled too much that she cries even if I didn't do anything to her. My aunt told me that it is very natural for adopted children to act like that. But it is wrong...I tried to tell my mom what I felt. Love makes the mess, so she should be the one who must be scolded, not me... My mom even told me that Love is still young so she scolds me instead of her.
I think my mom is wrong. Children should be scolded to let them know that they are wrong. Scolding someone else for their mistake makes them spoiled and they tend to mess things up thinking that the blame will not fall on them...So what do you think? Am I right or is it the other way around? How should I cope up with this mess?
agreed soooooooooooooooo agreed...
I dun hav a sibling but i can guess how hard it is
I have a younger brother myself and I understand your pain because when he entered the family everything was centered around him and everything he did wrong I was blamed for because I was the "oldest" one... Your reasoning makes perfect sense ideally, however, in the real life it just doesnt work...
Parenting is always based on the youngest child of the family but when you grow up, your parents love the oldest child more. The only reason parents defend the younger kid is because they are the youngest. Even though, it doesnt make sense, us "older" brother or sister is supposed to give it up because we have to be more mature.
It is hard and I remember my lil bro being a sniveling little brat but hes growing up and even though, he still is a sniveling little brat he doesnt get away with everything... as he grows up he's supposed to get more mature and parents should understand that... Little kids are ignorant of their surroundings so parents let it slide but wait till they grow up... Its game over... BUT I STILL LOVE MY LIL BRO VERY MUCH!
Aw well, that's the usual family problem. there's always favoritism. Get used to it. Theyougest will always be favored.
You know, when I often was babysitting younger children as a preteen, we were often put into the head of responsibilities over at our table here, and it always had to point to the person who was the oldest of the bunch. When I notice that something had been done wrong, in front of even their parents at certain times, I do solely and personally take the blame, even though they really knew in the back of their minds that it totally wasn't my fault. I wouldn't really argue often though in return, simply because my role was in fact to look after them and make sure they are instucted well on the do's and do not's when behaving typically while living under the house.
It was an awkward scenario, though, because quite often it was the general mentality and rule of thumb that the parents who tend to tell younger people other than their children what to do is highly not regarded as much as one would often think, hence the term: "Why does my parents always blame on me, but never you?"
Highly regardless of the situation, it was all well done and said at the end and things didn't really turn out for the worse of me overall as we wrapped it up in the long run. It was a quite a burdening life long experience and acceptance to how tough life may be, and I'm not really regretting about it, since it teach and show me a lot of things I wouldn't have even realized, had I turned the other way around and hadn't even bothered.
Lucky for me, I was an only child. **Snickers** As for your mother scolding you, it was probably just some redirected ventilation in throwing some of her stress away from the youngest one who hasn't developed quite a mental picture as of yet considering her age, directly upon you - and it is in fact wrong, I'll agree. Parents should never deal with their stress by screaming and shouting at their children. My mother was stressful at times while I was very young, and sure, she might have gone a little angry at times, but most of it, she was able to handle well because she knew she had to do something about it, not just sit around and complain for once. Your mother probably in the back of her mind says that this child is a big problem and mess in her life, and maybe she regrets and feels sorry for you somehow, even though she would never tell. Regardless, you should just go on and keep voicing your opinions even when the going gets tough. It's better than nothing, you know, and constantly taking the blame isn't fair even if you haven't actually done something wrong. Maybe you'll like this Love person as she personally grows up. Who knows? She is still quite young though, in my own opinion, so outlashing at her mentally wouldn't be the best fit in the long run.
I highly disagree with you at that point. Sometimes, parents look at the much older one as they start to grow a life of their own, and they'll feel much prouder of the oldest one, overshadowing the younger one in general. It really depends from person to person, but sometimes, it just happens to go the other way around as to who gets through favoritism, technically enough.
I understand your points guys...
And because of that...the conflict between me and my mom was getting worse...Now she scolds even if I don't do anything...That kid is getting in my nerves....And to think of it that I was the REAL child, not her....
I'm BAD....I'm feeling REALLY BAD....
hehehe... i think you should someday try to think like your mom does..
just to see what the hell is she thinkin..
try to think that there is a little kid like your "sister" and there is the "big" you..
she problably sees her like an unprotected shild, where anything could harm her..
but she problably sees you like someone who has already grown away from harm..
try to understand her.. and after that.. try to talk with her.. after you discover how your mom feels..
try to talk to your mom to "resolve" this up..
and never the less.. PATIENT.. your mom maybe wrong.. maybe not..
but until something is settled.. have LOTS OF PATIENT !
lol.. i can understand you because i have a younger sister..
ALWAYS like this..
Scolding someone for the other persons mistakes is so unlogical that I barely believe it, lol. And yes, a child should be scolded if it does something bad. I mean, otherwise how the hell will it know what is right and wrong in this world? Honestly, scolding is a must if you want to raise a child properly. Otherwise you get a "snuggish, spoiled,nasty brat" and then it will be harder to change.
Anyway I seriously feel for you, because I can imagine in what a totally anoying and nervous situation you are. Try talking to your mom more. Either she will understand or I don't really see a way out of this.
Reason and logic are your friends, if you didnt really do anything then if she listens and uses her mind then she should realise the flaw in her judgement even though she doesn't want to.
Scolding is VERY important, it is normal for a person to understand that some things are right and some things are wrong.
If a person can't set apart right from wrong then they become what we call "a bad person", which of course hardly anyone like.