For those who took the time to read the original "What Do You Do When You
Have the Real You Behind Locked Doors" and gave good advice, thank you.
Still, some said not to show the real you if it hurts you more than helps you.
(That's more or less what they said). But what if the real you is someone who's
a lot better than the person you're leading others into thinking you are. It's
just that you've been faking for so long, that they won't accept the real you no
matter what. Even if that's someone who loves helping others, never argues with
you, and always puts others first and just humbles themselves around others. And
if your wondering why I didn't let this side show first, let's just say
something in the past, my childhood went wrong in about a bazillian ways and
reasons. But I so desperately want to show the real me, and yet, I can't. All I
can do is get mad and basically be a big grouch all the time, but only when I'm
with family. (They're the main problem). All I can do is act kinda' emo and hope
that someone will finally see all the clues I'm practically throwing at them and
hope that they're smart enough to put them together. Put them together and find
their's a broken girl inside waiting and wanting to be let out. But no one's
done that in the past 14 years. (Sorry for being so emo about all this, but I
desperately want to be able to let myself go). All I truly want more than
anything is for atleast one person to finally be there for me and help me to let
myself go. Is that too much to ask for?
Hmmm? I'm here if you need me! Don't worry, I feel like that too sometimes..
except I've been acting one way so long I've sorta forgotten who I really am...
then there are some bits of my personality that hurt people... violent.. so I've
locked that part of me inside... but even though it's better that I don't act
that way.. I feel like a fake person b/c when I'm with people I get distracted
and act all happy.. then when I get home and are alone I feel so disgusted with
myself..
In a way, I know what you mean. There isn't a single person in my life in which
I can be myself arround. I have so many different alias for so many different
people and locations that it's near impossible to keep it up..... I want to be
myself arround others so badly it has become painful. But, out of fear of being
disliked, I maintain my alias . I know
that if I show my true self to anyone, it will turn my life into a worse
hellhole than it already is. Every one is in a contact chain, so if I show one
person the real me, including my parents, everyone will find out and make
everything the incarnation of hell......... Though I do have one place where I
can be myself. And that place is minitokyo. So, if it weren't for minitokyo, I
would be in my room. Absolutely misrable. This is the only place in which I can
take off my personality mask. So, that is why I visit here so much. So, like I
said, I can sort of understand. I'm happy you had this thread, because this
thread really helped me let go. So, once again, thanks a lot!
PS: sorry my response is so long. I just reeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaally needed to let
loose. Thanks again !
merged: 08-04-2006 ~ 11:49am
Oh, and if you need someone to talk to, you can either visit my userpage and
talk to me, or you can email me at- bdfordjr@yahoo.com. Hope you feel better!
For those who took the time to read the original "What Do You Do When You Have the Real You Behind Locked Doors" and gave good advice, thank you. Still, some said not to show the real you if it hurts you more than helps you. (That's more or less what they said). But what if the real you is someone who's a lot better than the person you're leading others into thinking you are. It's just that you've been faking for so long, that they won't accept the real you no matter what. Even if that's someone who loves helping others, never argues with you, and always puts others first and just humbles themselves around others. And if your wondering why I didn't let this side show first, let's just say something in the past, my childhood went wrong in about a bazillian ways and reasons. But I so desperately want to show the real me, and yet, I can't. All I can do is get mad and basically be a big grouch all the time, but only when I'm with family. (They're the main problem). All I can do is act kinda' emo and hope that someone will finally see all the clues I'm practically throwing at them and hope that they're smart enough to put them together. Put them together and find their's a broken girl inside waiting and wanting to be let out. But no one's done that in the past 14 years. (Sorry for being so emo about all this, but I desperately want to be able to let myself go). All I truly want more than anything is for atleast one person to finally be there for me and help me to let myself go. Is that too much to ask for?
Hmmm? I'm here if you need me! Don't worry, I feel like that too sometimes.. except I've been acting one way so long I've sorta forgotten who I really am... then there are some bits of my personality that hurt people... violent.. so I've locked that part of me inside... but even though it's better that I don't act that way.. I feel like a fake person b/c when I'm with people I get distracted and act all happy.. then when I get home and are alone I feel so disgusted with myself..
You shouldn't create duplicate threads, your old thread on the same topic is still open and thus there is no reason to create a second.
What Do You Do When You Have the Real You Behind Locked Doors
In a way, I know what you mean. There isn't a single person in my life in which I can be myself arround. I have so many different alias for so many different people and locations that it's near impossible to keep it up..... I want to be myself arround others so badly it has become painful. But, out of fear of being disliked, I maintain my alias
. I know
that if I show my true self to anyone, it will turn my life into a worse
hellhole than it already is. Every one is in a contact chain, so if I show one
person the real me, including my parents, everyone will find out and make
everything the incarnation of hell......... Though I do have one place where I
can be myself. And that place is minitokyo. So, if it weren't for minitokyo, I
would be in my room. Absolutely misrable. This is the only place in which I can
take off my personality mask. So, that is why I visit here so much. So, like I
said, I can sort of understand. I'm happy you had this thread, because this
thread really helped me let go. So, once again, thanks a lot!
PS: sorry my response is so long. I just reeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaally needed to let loose. Thanks again
!
merged: 08-04-2006 ~ 11:49am
Oh, and if you need someone to talk to, you can either visit my userpage and talk to me, or you can email me at- bdfordjr@yahoo.com. Hope you feel better!