I was told a few weeks ago that people may not want to hang out with me too much
because I am a negative person.
I am not negative in that I put people down or anything like that. It is just
that I am not a very happy person. I am never mean or impolite. I just am not
one of those happy peppy people that smiles on the time. I was told that I was
sort of a downer. When people ask me how I am, I usually tell them the truth
which is I am not doing very good.
Ever since I was told this I have started to lie when people ask me how I am. I
say "Oh I am great!" or "I am doing just fine." I have even
been trying to smile more.
I want to know if it is true that people don't like people who are downers? And
is it wrong that I lie and say that I am doing great when I really am not?
I surround myself with positive people. Being pessimistic is not going to do
anybody any good. Life is too short to be surrounded by negativity, so I just
choose to be around people who are always looking up. It doesn't mean positive
people are perfect or anything, but they do seem to look at the bright side of
life.
It's true people hate negative people. I am a very negative person and I don't
have much people hanging out with me. Life is shit huh, and its not easy to be
positive with people around you when you know you are a negative preson.
Don't worry about what others think of you, its what you think of yourself that
matters. I'm not a sunshine either...lol, but I do flavor those good moments and
I also try to think positive. You are who you are, never change if you dont
think you should. Change is always good, unless someones pushing you to do it.
But being negative all the time isn't healthy, life doesn't suck that bad if you
think about it. Maybe those persons that told you that did it maybe to lighten
you up a bit, since maybe you look TOO depressed, lol.
Well, a lot of people don't mind negativity so much as people that are 'emo'.
And while you may not be (I have no idea, you'd be the better judge of that),
saying that you are unhappy whenever someone asks, etc. might be giving off the
vibe that you are emo, which I know would piss quite a few people off.
I'm taking a psych class right now, and they say that negativity spreads.
Because of this, people may not want to hang around you. If you see the world in
a negative light, you begin to affect other people as well.; therefore, people
will want to hang around you if you're constantly being negative. It's okay to
tell people how you feel. You don't have to lie abuot that, but when they ask
you things like "oh what do you think of that movie?" don't just go
right out and say you hated it and start to criticize it.
I know the people above said not to worry about what others think. Normally I
would agree with them, but we live in a very shallow and materialistic world,
where people will flock towards others that have similar interests, think the
same way, and make them feel good about themselves. So if you want more people
to hang around you then you will have to change your attitude. (I hate myself
for saying this, but it's the truth).
Everyone have their negative days. Some, months. Few, years. I never met someone
who have an entire negative life. Please don't lie. Be truthful about your
feelings. It's already tough to be understood; things will be tougher when
people see you're hiding yourself. Think about what makes you negative. No need
to be negative; you can be a pragmatist.
hmm from my view most ppl are positive. Negative are casted away since they dont
wont themselves to be negative . Negatively can be overturned by looking at the
brighter side of things. The guy who post above me has got my kinda idea.
I appreciate the advice from everyone. I sort of knew the answer to my question
before I asked it. Don't get me wrong though I am not the type of negative
person that criticize everything (movies, people, and other things) I try to be
positive about things but I have always been a glass is half empty person. You
say to look on the brighter side of things but when you have spent your whole
life doing the opposite it is incredibly hard to change. I keep trying though.
Ok... here's the deal: people would rather not hang out wth negative people.
"Mean people" simply repel others, while "Downers" suck the
energy right out of the ones who are close to them.
Leonardobarba's right, though. There's no need to lie about your feelings. If
you're down, say you're down. If you're happy, say you're happy. Whatever you
say, it's usually not a good idea to exaggerate the things that happen in your
life. There's a good chance you'll be respected if you view things in a
realistic perspective.
Also, it's a good idea to laugh at the things that bring you down... laughter is
the best cure for misery.
merged: 09-10-2006 ~ 04:17am
Ok... here's the deal: people would rather not hang out wth negative people.
"Mean people" simply repel others, while "Downers" suck the
energy right out of the ones who are close to them.
Leonardobarba's right, though. There's no need to lie about your feelings. If
you're down, say you're down. If you're happy, say you're happy. Whatever you
say, it's usually not a good idea to exaggerate the things that happen in your
life. There's a good chance you'll be respected if you view things in a
realistic perspective.
Also, it's a good idea to laugh at the things that bring you down... laughter is
the best cure for misery.
Its true that people do not like to be around negative people. It is like energy
loss from that negative person but if you have enough people, it just becomes
negated. Sure, you aren't mean or anything, the thing that people have a problem
accepting is the truth. When you state the truth, people consider everything
negative.
Facts = Negative (what people think)
Facts + Sugar coated suck up (what people want)
I agree I'm a fairly happy content person. I give out a lot of energy, and when
I'm around angry/ or sad people I just get bored. However it seems that sad, or
angry people like to be around other sad, or angry people. I think its healthier
to first be honest with yourself. Don't tell people what they want to hear, then
work hard to make yourself happy.
I completely agree with Benjikun7 and Kyuoto, through experience,and I was the
negative person. I'm sorry, but in this world ( well in mine anyway) you pretty
much have to say what people want you to hear otherwise your a loner end of
story. God, yeah its harsh but I have to deal with it and I went through some
real hell, but I'm alive right now. I always want to say the more logical things
and make reasonable comments but they're just rejected by everyone. All I ever
get is an 'so?Who cares?' critisism or contridictions 'why are you always saying
stuff like that?' Even though what 7aihunger says is perfectly reasonable and
hehe, lol the positive way of thinking about it, I don't really think thats
possible for me, after all the situation I'm in unfortunately can't be solved by
a few words ^_^ ehehe... 'Don't tell people what they want to hear' to me is
like the fairytale saying, please tell me if that actually works for anyone,
without being disrespectful to what 7aihunger said. If anyone can say what they
truely want to say about all situations and still manages to keep loads of
friends, it would be interesting to see.( And yes, I'm aware that what I just
said was completely pessimistic looking ^_^ )
Exactly how are you defining "negative"? Pessimistic? Not cheerful?
I was told that I was negative in high school..Well, if it wouldn't have been
for the fact that I was depressed, suicidal, being pulled in the middle of my
parents' divorce, and had a crappy boyfriend, I might have been more cheerful.
That and I found being around really peppy, cheerful people nauseating; they
came across as being incredibly fake. By the time I was a senior, I didn't envy
really happy people much--I found that many of them were more depressed than I
was and that was their way of hiding it.
I'm also told that I write "depressing" poetry..I'm told it's really
good, just really depressing. The world isn't always sugar cane and lollipops
and I'm not about to tell someone that it is. Writing is my therapy so it's
going to be depressing, but it helps get the feelings out and makes me feel
better so I can try to be more "positive."
As for what 7aihunger said, "Don't tell people what they want to hear, then
work hard to make yourself happy," it's good advice. Does anybody know
why you're not a
"positive" person? Has anyone even bothered to ask? There's no reason
you should have to hide who you are and what you're feeling. Just try to move
past what people think of you and tell them the truth. If they can't take it,
then they're not friend material...You may possibly make a lot of people not
like you in the process but the one's that can move past it are the people that
will be there for you.
I prefer to hang around negative people, since their views on the world is
really unique. i myself is on the more negative side, but it all depends on who
i am around. My negative friends are usually very intelligent compared to my
positive friends.
By nature I am a pessimist. But when necessary, I will be optimistic: like, when
I need to get up when I am still hungover. uh hm...*clears throat*
Keep in mind that feeling a range of emotion is healthy. Being unhappy and
negative all the time will be no good, and neither will the opposite. Overly
happy people are even more off-putting! I'd tell them to visit a doctor to see
if their body is producing too much happy hormones.
I have gone through the stage in my life where I think I am invisible, and that
everyone is somehow better off than I am. Eventhough my mood was negative, I try
to hang around with other people because they just see things differently and I
feel better after. It's all about taking that first step, initiating
contact.
As for answering the question how are you...I'd say "fine" or
"good and u" just to brush them off and avoid further conversation. If
I feel like telling them all the drama that's been happening in my life...I'd
say "oh me gosh, could you belive blah blah"
So the bottom line is: tell the truth when you feel like it, share it, vent, and
when the person actually cares. But refrain from retelling your life story when
the question is simply asked as courtesy.
It's not wrong to be a negative person. At the same time, all it takes is a
single person with a different mindset to change the mood of a group. Whether
the change is good or bed depends on how people react to that single mindset.
i am not too sure whether most people hate "negative" people... but
from my point of view, most people prefer to be with "positive"
people... well.. you should try to be positive though.. cause afterall, its
better to be positive than negative...
sometimes it's true because hanging around negative people sometimes end up in
becoming one. people hang around positive people because even if u have a
problem, u could talk 2 them about it. if u tried that on a negative person,
they'll get pissed off even more than they already was.
Quote by maxrobi like negative people one
of my good friends is negative i got him a wife and he is not negative now i
fixed it he is happy now
Wait wait.... you got him a wife lol are you some kind of matchmaker
Thats not really being around negative poeple... in the your so called negative
friend is happy... you know negative people gives you this strange aura or
vibes.. sometimes by just being around them you just cant help but feel upset or
unhappy... Honestly... most human would just leave or stay away from these
people unless of cause you like being in such a miserable world?... Besides some
emo people... the only human who would do that has something wrong with his
head...
I was told a few weeks ago that people may not want to hang out with me too much because I am a negative person.
I am not negative in that I put people down or anything like that. It is just that I am not a very happy person. I am never mean or impolite. I just am not one of those happy peppy people that smiles on the time. I was told that I was sort of a downer. When people ask me how I am, I usually tell them the truth which is I am not doing very good.
Ever since I was told this I have started to lie when people ask me how I am. I say "Oh I am great!" or "I am doing just fine." I have even been trying to smile more.
I want to know if it is true that people don't like people who are downers? And is it wrong that I lie and say that I am doing great when I really am not?
I surround myself with positive people. Being pessimistic is not going to do anybody any good. Life is too short to be surrounded by negativity, so I just choose to be around people who are always looking up. It doesn't mean positive people are perfect or anything, but they do seem to look at the bright side of life.
It's true people hate negative people. I am a very negative person and I don't have much people hanging out with me. Life is shit huh, and its not easy to be positive with people around you when you know you are a negative preson.
Don't worry about what others think of you, its what you think of yourself that matters. I'm not a sunshine either...lol, but I do flavor those good moments and I also try to think positive. You are who you are, never change if you dont think you should. Change is always good, unless someones pushing you to do it. But being negative all the time isn't healthy, life doesn't suck that bad if you think about it. Maybe those persons that told you that did it maybe to lighten you up a bit, since maybe you look TOO depressed, lol.
Well, a lot of people don't mind negativity so much as people that are 'emo'. And while you may not be (I have no idea, you'd be the better judge of that), saying that you are unhappy whenever someone asks, etc. might be giving off the vibe that you are emo, which I know would piss quite a few people off.
I'm taking a psych class right now, and they say that negativity spreads. Because of this, people may not want to hang around you. If you see the world in a negative light, you begin to affect other people as well.; therefore, people will want to hang around you if you're constantly being negative. It's okay to tell people how you feel. You don't have to lie abuot that, but when they ask you things like "oh what do you think of that movie?" don't just go right out and say you hated it and start to criticize it.
I know the people above said not to worry about what others think. Normally I would agree with them, but we live in a very shallow and materialistic world, where people will flock towards others that have similar interests, think the same way, and make them feel good about themselves. So if you want more people to hang around you then you will have to change your attitude. (I hate myself for saying this, but it's the truth).
Everyone have their negative days. Some, months. Few, years. I never met someone who have an entire negative life. Please don't lie. Be truthful about your feelings. It's already tough to be understood; things will be tougher when people see you're hiding yourself. Think about what makes you negative. No need to be negative; you can be a pragmatist.
hmm from my view most ppl are positive. Negative are casted away since they dont wont themselves to be negative . Negatively can be overturned by looking at the brighter side of things. The guy who post above me has got my kinda idea.
I appreciate the advice from everyone. I sort of knew the answer to my question before I asked it. Don't get me wrong though I am not the type of negative person that criticize everything (movies, people, and other things) I try to be positive about things but I have always been a glass is half empty person. You say to look on the brighter side of things but when you have spent your whole life doing the opposite it is incredibly hard to change. I keep trying though.
yeah.... if you're around negative people you start feeling negative,well, thats what i find as im usually happy
Ok... here's the deal: people would rather not hang out wth negative people. "Mean people" simply repel others, while "Downers" suck the energy right out of the ones who are close to them.
Leonardobarba's right, though. There's no need to lie about your feelings. If you're down, say you're down. If you're happy, say you're happy. Whatever you say, it's usually not a good idea to exaggerate the things that happen in your life. There's a good chance you'll be respected if you view things in a realistic perspective.
Also, it's a good idea to laugh at the things that bring you down... laughter is the best cure for misery.
merged: 09-10-2006 ~ 04:17am
Ok... here's the deal: people would rather not hang out wth negative people. "Mean people" simply repel others, while "Downers" suck the energy right out of the ones who are close to them.
Leonardobarba's right, though. There's no need to lie about your feelings. If you're down, say you're down. If you're happy, say you're happy. Whatever you say, it's usually not a good idea to exaggerate the things that happen in your life. There's a good chance you'll be respected if you view things in a realistic perspective.
Also, it's a good idea to laugh at the things that bring you down... laughter is the best cure for misery.
Its true that people do not like to be around negative people. It is like energy loss from that negative person but if you have enough people, it just becomes negated. Sure, you aren't mean or anything, the thing that people have a problem accepting is the truth. When you state the truth, people consider everything negative.
Facts = Negative (what people think)
Facts + Sugar coated suck up (what people want)
I agree I'm a fairly happy content person. I give out a lot of energy, and when I'm around angry/ or sad people I just get bored. However it seems that sad, or angry people like to be around other sad, or angry people. I think its healthier to first be honest with yourself. Don't tell people what they want to hear, then work hard to make yourself happy.
I completely agree with Benjikun7 and Kyuoto, through experience,and I was the negative person. I'm sorry, but in this world ( well in mine anyway) you pretty much have to say what people want you to hear otherwise your a loner end of story. God, yeah its harsh but I have to deal with it and I went through some real hell, but I'm alive right now. I always want to say the more logical things and make reasonable comments but they're just rejected by everyone. All I ever get is an 'so?Who cares?' critisism or contridictions 'why are you always saying stuff like that?' Even though what 7aihunger says is perfectly reasonable and hehe, lol the positive way of thinking about it, I don't really think thats possible for me, after all the situation I'm in unfortunately can't be solved by a few words ^_^ ehehe... 'Don't tell people what they want to hear' to me is like the fairytale saying, please tell me if that actually works for anyone, without being disrespectful to what 7aihunger said. If anyone can say what they truely want to say about all situations and still manages to keep loads of friends, it would be interesting to see.( And yes, I'm aware that what I just said was completely pessimistic looking ^_^ )
Exactly how are you defining "negative"? Pessimistic? Not cheerful?
I was told that I was negative in high school..Well, if it wouldn't have been for the fact that I was depressed, suicidal, being pulled in the middle of my parents' divorce, and had a crappy boyfriend, I might have been more cheerful. That and I found being around really peppy, cheerful people nauseating; they came across as being incredibly fake. By the time I was a senior, I didn't envy really happy people much--I found that many of them were more depressed than I was and that was their way of hiding it.
I'm also told that I write "depressing" poetry..I'm told it's really good, just really depressing. The world isn't always sugar cane and lollipops and I'm not about to tell someone that it is. Writing is my therapy so it's going to be depressing, but it helps get the feelings out and makes me feel better so I can try to be more "positive."
As for what 7aihunger said, "Don't tell people what they want to hear, then work hard to make yourself happy," it's good advice. Does anybody know why you're not a "positive" person? Has anyone even bothered to ask? There's no reason you should have to hide who you are and what you're feeling. Just try to move past what people think of you and tell them the truth. If they can't take it, then they're not friend material...You may possibly make a lot of people not like you in the process but the one's that can move past it are the people that will be there for you.
I prefer to hang around negative people, since their views on the world is really unique. i myself is on the more negative side, but it all depends on who i am around. My negative friends are usually very intelligent compared to my positive friends.
By nature I am a pessimist. But when necessary, I will be optimistic: like, when I need to get up when I am still hungover. uh hm...*clears throat*
Keep in mind that feeling a range of emotion is healthy. Being unhappy and negative all the time will be no good, and neither will the opposite. Overly happy people are even more off-putting! I'd tell them to visit a doctor to see if their body is producing too much happy hormones.
I have gone through the stage in my life where I think I am invisible, and that everyone is somehow better off than I am. Eventhough my mood was negative, I try to hang around with other people because they just see things differently and I feel better after. It's all about taking that first step, initiating contact.
As for answering the question how are you...I'd say "fine" or "good and u" just to brush them off and avoid further conversation. If I feel like telling them all the drama that's been happening in my life...I'd say "oh me gosh, could you belive blah blah"
So the bottom line is: tell the truth when you feel like it, share it, vent, and when the person actually cares. But refrain from retelling your life story when the question is simply asked as courtesy.
It's not wrong to be a negative person. At the same time, all it takes is a single person with a different mindset to change the mood of a group. Whether the change is good or bed depends on how people react to that single mindset.
ya its true so shut the f##k up
i am not too sure whether most people hate "negative" people... but from my point of view, most people prefer to be with "positive" people... well.. you should try to be positive though.. cause afterall, its better to be positive than negative...
sometimes it's true because hanging around negative people sometimes end up in becoming one. people hang around positive people because even if u have a problem, u could talk 2 them about it. if u tried that on a negative person, they'll get pissed off even more than they already was.
i like negative people one of my good friends is negative i got him a wife and he is not negative now i fixed it he is happy now
Wait wait.... you got him a wife lol are you some kind of matchmaker
Thats not really being around negative poeple... in the your so called negative friend is happy... you know negative people gives you this strange aura or vibes.. sometimes by just being around them you just cant help but feel upset or unhappy... Honestly... most human would just leave or stay away from these people unless of cause you like being in such a miserable world?... Besides some emo people... the only human who would do that has something wrong with his head...
Personally I don't like to hang around negative people 'coz by the process of osmosis, they'll make me negative as well.
The only people I see hang around negative people are emos and goths.