ok, here is a question for anyone to answer cuz i really need some help on
this:
Note: the names will be different just to be on the safe side ^_^
first off i am marrid to a wonderful man, lets call him "Jack". i knew
"Jack" since high school and back then i like him but i never told
him. So i graduated and i went to work for Disney and that i were i met my ex,
his name will be "Paco".
Alright, here is the problem i am in right now. it was 6 months since the last
time i talk to my ex. but in May 7th (my bday) and i got an email from him
saying a happy bday and congrates on my wedding. ( i talk to his sister and
cuz). after that we started to talk up to right now, "Jack" knows i am
talking to him but he does want me to speack about "Paco" around him.
Ok, while "Jack" was at work one saturday morning I was busy talking
to "Paco" on the computer. He was about to go offline when he told me
that HE STILL LOVES ME! i
didn't know what to say but why is he telling me this now since i am married,
why didn't he try to get me back when i broke up with him.
Now that happen 2 months ago, "Paco" and i still talk but i have been
having dreams about him where i am trying to find him, or we are together and we
kiss, dreams like that.
Now here is the question: What would you do if you where in my shoes?
I'm dead from school at the moment but here it goes
Well, since you are married, it is okay to talk to whoever you want to. It can
be anyone about anything just that you don't want to gossip. Someone telling you
not to talk to someone is pretty bad. You should have that right, just don't go
off and do other things, talking is just fine.
Oh, "still loves you". I've heard that same speech from some friend of
mine and he was obsessed with her. Obsession and love are completely different
things. Now that it is over, i don't have to worry about them. The thing was, if
he told you that he still likes you, you can't do much because you are married
to "Jack". I don't know what happened between both of you when you
broke up but the thing is that either one or both of you didn't want to take it
slowly or have the patience to wait for each other and just rushed
ahead.
Talking is fine. The dreams probably tell you of the past experiences that you
had with him.
Okay, i'm a guy, i'm probably an idiot, i'd just say that you should just talk
to him but you have to tell "Paco" that you have someone else and that
you can't return any affection. I can't say what i would do but i'd probably
tell you to stay with "Jack ". Make sure he understands that you both
are talking and not doing anything bad. With "Paco", tell him that you
can't return any affection because you have someone else already. You should
clarify that you and "Jack" are together and that you and
"Paco" are just talking.
You are married, you committed to someone, you have that only one person that
you love, FUCKIN LOVE! WTF are you doing... ?!?!?! WTF ARE YOU
DOING?!?!?
Do you really want to fuck shit up? If so, go with "Paco" and buy him
a fuckin taco, then you can go sucko a fuckin eggo...
sorry for the profanity, but stop fuckin with your husband's head... think about
what you're doing... where the hell did your love go?
you still love 'jack' right? you still love him more than 'paco' right?
i agree with kyuoto and jasaiyajin, when you agreed to marry 'jack' you agreed
to commit yourself to him and the rest of your life with him. this is a serious
committment. unless you dont love him anymore or something than maybe its better
you tell him now than later but if not, i dont think its very wise of you to
just dump him for some guy who happens to say that he still loves you. no
offence or anything, i dont know what 'paco' is like but if he cant say that he
loves you before than he has no right to say it now. and personally i wouldnt be
so reassured about the life that he can give you.
Yo guys, cool down people. I think your overreacting miss. First off, ditch this
Paco dude. You can still be his friend but never lose your love for your
husband! Tell Paco to get a girlfriend, to stop being obsessive, and to look at
reality.... again. Seriously, real life soap operas are too much.
the way i see it is. your "married"
and if you still "THINK" when your ex says "I STILL LOVE
YOU"
well, your not a devoted one. what will you fell when you husband do that to
you?
by all means if your ex says "THAT" than say "SORRY I'M MARRIED!
YOU LOST YOUR CHANCE WHEN YOU HAVE IT!"
that way, you wouldn't have a hard time thinking about "IT"!
well that what will i do if i were you. sorry if you think my word's are harsh.
I want to thank you for giving me your advice. please to feel free to add on. To
answer some of your question about if i love "Jack" the answer is yes.
i love him to death. there are times when i feel like i am invisable to him when
his friends are over. but he trys to make up for what he does by taking me out
to dinner and maybe (if we have the money) to a movie.
mm... if i wer you... i think i would stop talking to paco... i mean.. paco nos
yr married... no ex should tell a married woman that he still lovs her... if he
had still loved you along time ago - he should hav sed somthing befor you
married jack... an wat makes you think that paco will still lov you after yv
left jack? paco split with you befor... he most certainly kan do it again.... if
given the chance...
yr dreams are making mor of a mess out of you... once you stop talking to
paco... yr dreams will disappear... if you feel that you are willing to 'lov'
paco... then you dont really lov jack like you say you do...
if you are willing to hav feelings for both jack an paco... you might want to
take time by yrself to decide wat it is you really want... you kant hav both...
an thers the possibility of having neither... no one kan make that choice for
you...
but thats jus wat i think...
m.i.a.
ok now it is going crazy for me because i think i am starting to have feels for my ex again. the thing
is i still love my husband with all my heart and i don't want to leave him but
sometimes i feel like my heart is missing something or someone. I just don't
know what to do!
merged: 01-25-2007 ~ 06:24am
I haven't been here for a while since i started school again and work also so i
haven't had time........anyways here is what is going on with this problem of
mine.
About last week on Saturday night I was talking to "Paco" and so far
he and i are talking about my problems that i am having with "Jack".
Any who i needed to get off the phone, since we talk for about an hour and
something minutes, so i told him i need to go but before i hang up i told him
that i loved him.
I have been thinking what to do for the pass few days! My love for
"Jack" is going way slow and my love for "paco" is growing.
I asked myself who would make me feel happy and what i want in a guy........so
far "paco" is the answer.
Agreed. According to your UP, you're only 21. In my oppinion, that's really
young to be deciding what "love" is. Heck, kids my age are already
dating and telling their girlfriends/boyfriends that they "love"
eachther. Honestly, I just feel like giving them some big rant on how idiotic
they are.. (No offense ) Anways. Who know's what "love" actually feels like with another
person (not related to you).
I have one question before giving some advice. How did you end up getting
married to "jack" anyways?
It's hard to help you
I think you should try to see of witch do you love the most
If it is "Paco" just be honest with "Jack"
While are you deciding don't give hope to "Paco" i think it'll be
worst
Take your time to decide
Try to choose one
The one who makes you feel better
Think about the advantages you will get with each of them.But you are already
married with "Jack" do you whant to ruin the relationship between you
two?Did you imagine what would be like if you were with "Paco"?If so
then do what you think it s best.
Well, genetically, females look for more than one man, but socially this is not
accepted... i have seen many cases like yours, and i should say that if
everything is right with your marriege you shouldnt be tempting your happines
for a past love..if not, then youre walking the wrong path and that would
explain why you like to talk so much with your ex.
................. Wow.............. just wow........... let me give you a run
down on how psychology plays out.............
1. You fall in love with someone, marry, and stay with him. According to long
term research, your respect for your husband will decrease.
2. With the decrease of respect, fights are prominant and divorce may be a
factor.
3. If divorce does become a factor, you are more than likely to be older and
then remarry again.
4. Same cycle would repeat itself if you are still young, but assuming your not,
you will stay with your second husband.
To the point of my message, it doesn't matter who you marry. If the situation
was switch around, and you were with Paco, you would be in the same boat as you
are right now, only switched. Another thing to add with this rant of mine is
that if you are actually believe you "love" this Paco, then you sould
never marry at all. To marry is to be dedicated. If you can't do that, then
don't get married at all.
Now the dreams, don't worry about them, they more than likely are just
processing the info. that you got from Paco, nothing big. If you find you have
feelings for Paco, it is more likely that it is in a friendly manner, not
romantic. If it is romantic, that is a problem, and you really should have never
married.
Also a very big note, if this Paco knows that you are married and is still
trying to get to you, then that is a bad sign for the most part. I'm not saying
that Paco's bad, but in most situations like this, Paco may have a secret. Just
be careful with him.
Oh, and another reason why you might think you like Paco is because the human
mind likes to indulge on the forbiden fruit, or simply, things that are not
accepted in society. So society doesn't really like a married woman with another
man, and because of that, you get turned on.............. Yes all strange, but
that is that.
When it comes down to it, were you ever dedicated to your husband.
You should read XXX Holic, there is this great chapter where one of the main
character helps this lady who is in a similar situation, only, it's not with a
man, but with her on computer. Slightly different, but the same.
Please, if you can, I would like you to reply to this.........
i say shame on you, but then again...i feel sorry for paco. I think if you
really love jack you would cut off all communications to paco. Right now this is
a test of your current love. If you really love Jack break it off with paco,
it'll be better for the both of you. If you feel that you might still love Paco,
tell Jack, he'll understand that you dont really love him and separate from you.
It's all a matter of who you really love.
ok, here is a question for anyone to answer cuz i really need some help on this:
Note: the names will be different just to be on the safe side ^_^
first off i am marrid to a wonderful man, lets call him "Jack". i knew "Jack" since high school and back then i like him but i never told him. So i graduated and i went to work for Disney and that i were i met my ex, his name will be "Paco".
Alright, here is the problem i am in right now. it was 6 months since the last time i talk to my ex. but in May 7th (my bday) and i got an email from him saying a happy bday and congrates on my wedding. ( i talk to his sister and cuz). after that we started to talk up to right now, "Jack" knows i am talking to him but he does want me to speack about "Paco" around him.
Ok, while "Jack" was at work one saturday morning I was busy talking to "Paco" on the computer. He was about to go offline when he told me that HE STILL LOVES ME!
i
didn't know what to say but why is he telling me this now since i am married,
why didn't he try to get me back when i broke up with him.
Now that happen 2 months ago, "Paco" and i still talk but i have been having dreams about him where i am trying to find him, or we are together and we kiss, dreams like that.
Now here is the question: What would you do if you where in my shoes?
I'm dead from school at the moment but here it goes
Well, since you are married, it is okay to talk to whoever you want to. It can be anyone about anything just that you don't want to gossip. Someone telling you not to talk to someone is pretty bad. You should have that right, just don't go off and do other things, talking is just fine.
Oh, "still loves you". I've heard that same speech from some friend of mine and he was obsessed with her. Obsession and love are completely different things. Now that it is over, i don't have to worry about them. The thing was, if he told you that he still likes you, you can't do much because you are married to "Jack". I don't know what happened between both of you when you broke up but the thing is that either one or both of you didn't want to take it slowly or have the patience to wait for each other and just rushed ahead.
Talking is fine. The dreams probably tell you of the past experiences that you had with him.
Okay, i'm a guy, i'm probably an idiot, i'd just say that you should just talk to him but you have to tell "Paco" that you have someone else and that you can't return any affection. I can't say what i would do but i'd probably tell you to stay with "Jack ". Make sure he understands that you both are talking and not doing anything bad. With "Paco", tell him that you can't return any affection because you have someone else already. You should clarify that you and "Jack" are together and that you and "Paco" are just talking.
Now, the deciding is up to you.
Do what your heart tells you!
You are married, you committed to someone, you have that only one person that you love, FUCKIN LOVE! WTF are you doing... ?!?!?! WTF ARE YOU DOING?!?!?
Do you really want to fuck shit up? If so, go with "Paco" and buy him a fuckin taco, then you can go sucko a fuckin eggo...
sorry for the profanity, but stop fuckin with your husband's head... think about what you're doing... where the hell did your love go?
you still love 'jack' right? you still love him more than 'paco' right?
i agree with kyuoto and jasaiyajin, when you agreed to marry 'jack' you agreed to commit yourself to him and the rest of your life with him. this is a serious committment. unless you dont love him anymore or something than maybe its better you tell him now than later but if not, i dont think its very wise of you to just dump him for some guy who happens to say that he still loves you. no offence or anything, i dont know what 'paco' is like but if he cant say that he loves you before than he has no right to say it now. and personally i wouldnt be so reassured about the life that he can give you.
Yo guys, cool down people. I think your overreacting miss. First off, ditch this Paco dude. You can still be his friend but never lose your love for your husband! Tell Paco to get a girlfriend, to stop being obsessive, and to look at reality.... again. Seriously, real life soap operas are too much.
the way i see it is. your "married"
and if you still "THINK" when your ex says "I STILL LOVE YOU"
well, your not a devoted one. what will you fell when you husband do that to you?
by all means if your ex says "THAT" than say "SORRY I'M MARRIED! YOU LOST YOUR CHANCE WHEN YOU HAVE IT!"
that way, you wouldn't have a hard time thinking about "IT"!
well that what will i do if i were you. sorry if you think my word's are harsh.
I think girls sometimes like the attention from 2 guys or more... I've seen it happen way too often... then again, I could be wrong. Right? ^__^
I want to thank you for giving me your advice. please to feel free to add on. To answer some of your question about if i love "Jack" the answer is yes. i love him to death. there are times when i feel like i am invisable to him when his friends are over. but he trys to make up for what he does by taking me out to dinner and maybe (if we have the money) to a movie.
wait, you're complaining that when he tries to spend time w/ his friends that he's the problem? does he even know about it?
if you feel invisible, then just let him know... if one way doesn't work, tell him in another... and what happened to paco?
mm... if i wer you... i think i would stop talking to paco... i mean.. paco nos yr married... no ex should tell a married woman that he still lovs her... if he had still loved you along time ago - he should hav sed somthing befor you married jack... an wat makes you think that paco will still lov you after yv left jack? paco split with you befor... he most certainly kan do it again.... if given the chance...
yr dreams are making mor of a mess out of you... once you stop talking to paco... yr dreams will disappear... if you feel that you are willing to 'lov' paco... then you dont really lov jack like you say you do...
if you are willing to hav feelings for both jack an paco... you might want to take time by yrself to decide wat it is you really want... you kant hav both... an thers the possibility of having neither... no one kan make that choice for you...
but thats jus wat i think...
m.i.a.
ok now it is going crazy for me because i think i am starting to have feels for my ex again. the thing is i still love my husband with all my heart and i don't want to leave him but sometimes i feel like my heart is missing something or someone. I just don't know what to do!
merged: 01-25-2007 ~ 06:24am
I haven't been here for a while since i started school again and work also so i haven't had time........anyways here is what is going on with this problem of mine.
About last week on Saturday night I was talking to "Paco" and so far he and i are talking about my problems that i am having with "Jack". Any who i needed to get off the phone, since we talk for about an hour and something minutes, so i told him i need to go but before i hang up i told him that i loved him.
I have been thinking what to do for the pass few days! My love for "Jack" is going way slow and my love for "paco" is growing. I asked myself who would make me feel happy and what i want in a guy........so far "paco" is the answer.
I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! HELP ME!
I prefer not to give my personal comments on this but i think u might consider consulting someone like a counselor or something.
i agree with bgkl try talking to a counselor or somethin
Agreed. According to your UP, you're only 21. In my oppinion, that's really young to be deciding what "love" is. Heck, kids my age are already dating and telling their girlfriends/boyfriends that they "love" eachther. Honestly, I just feel like giving them some big rant on how idiotic they are.. (No offense
) Anways. Who know's what "love" actually feels like with another
person (not related to you).
I have one question before giving some advice. How did you end up getting married to "jack" anyways?
It's hard to help you
I think you should try to see of witch do you love the most
If it is "Paco" just be honest with "Jack"
While are you deciding don't give hope to "Paco" i think it'll be worst
Take your time to decide
Try to choose one
The one who makes you feel better
Think about the advantages you will get with each of them.But you are already married with "Jack" do you whant to ruin the relationship between you two?Did you imagine what would be like if you were with "Paco"?If so then do what you think it s best.
Well, genetically, females look for more than one man, but socially this is not accepted... i have seen many cases like yours, and i should say that if everything is right with your marriege you shouldnt be tempting your happines for a past love..if not, then youre walking the wrong path and that would explain why you like to talk so much with your ex.
thanks so much for the advice, i think i know who i want to be with.
................. Wow.............. just wow........... let me give you a run down on how psychology plays out.............
1. You fall in love with someone, marry, and stay with him. According to long term research, your respect for your husband will decrease.
2. With the decrease of respect, fights are prominant and divorce may be a factor.
3. If divorce does become a factor, you are more than likely to be older and then remarry again.
4. Same cycle would repeat itself if you are still young, but assuming your not, you will stay with your second husband.
To the point of my message, it doesn't matter who you marry. If the situation was switch around, and you were with Paco, you would be in the same boat as you are right now, only switched. Another thing to add with this rant of mine is that if you are actually believe you "love" this Paco, then you sould never marry at all. To marry is to be dedicated. If you can't do that, then don't get married at all.
Now the dreams, don't worry about them, they more than likely are just processing the info. that you got from Paco, nothing big. If you find you have feelings for Paco, it is more likely that it is in a friendly manner, not romantic. If it is romantic, that is a problem, and you really should have never married.
Also a very big note, if this Paco knows that you are married and is still trying to get to you, then that is a bad sign for the most part. I'm not saying that Paco's bad, but in most situations like this, Paco may have a secret. Just be careful with him.
Oh, and another reason why you might think you like Paco is because the human mind likes to indulge on the forbiden fruit, or simply, things that are not accepted in society. So society doesn't really like a married woman with another man, and because of that, you get turned on.............. Yes all strange, but that is that.
When it comes down to it, were you ever dedicated to your husband.
You should read XXX Holic, there is this great chapter where one of the main character helps this lady who is in a similar situation, only, it's not with a man, but with her on computer. Slightly different, but the same.
Please, if you can, I would like you to reply to this.........
i say shame on you, but then again...i feel sorry for paco. I think if you really love jack you would cut off all communications to paco. Right now this is a test of your current love. If you really love Jack break it off with paco, it'll be better for the both of you. If you feel that you might still love Paco, tell Jack, he'll understand that you dont really love him and separate from you. It's all a matter of who you really love.