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when the girl/guy you like is already in a relationship?

Love, Friends & Family

Minitokyo » Forum » Life & Lifestyle Fora » Love, Friends & Family  when the girl/guy you like is already in a relationship?

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So there's this girl I like at work. She's really nice to me and we have a lot of fun and laugh a lot when we talk. Like we exchanged numbers and she invited me to like several parties, and we have a load of stuff in common. I kinda got the message that she was into me, but then tonight I found out she already has a boyfriend. What would you do?

I would probably go home and cry and then try to get over it.

Well, what can you do? There are two possible things.
1. You like her, and you have got to have her, so, you steal her away from the guy
2. You like her, and well, you are happy that she's happy (if she is), with the guy.

As for now, tho, don't say anything, just keep being friends with her, etc... do loads of stuffs together and whathaveyous. Just keep in mind that you should also have your own life. After all, if I am her, I wouldn't want a guy who would always be available. Be friendly, but let her miss you.

One way or another, you have to decide which way you want to go. If I were you, I'll go with 1, and get her for myself.

kill the other guy ;D

Move on.

That does not mean you have to suddenly cut your friendship/connection with the girl though. Keep in contact and/or keep friends with her, like you have always done, but don't keep any 'funny hopes' in you. If you later on find out she wants out of that relationship (and better, to be with you), power to you. Otherwise, reality is: she is not yours and you on the other hand are not bound to be loyal (or whatever) to her. Look elsewhere and don't let your heart be hurt by something like this. There are always better girls out there. Been there and done it myself.

Regards.

everybody says that when the person you love is happy then you're happy as well but i'm sure it hurts like hell to see him/ her with another person

Quote by SakuraShirayukieverybody says that when the person you love is happy then you're happy as well but i'm sure it hurts like hell to see him/ her with another person


If you love that person enough, you will be happy for him/her.

Which does not stop you from looking elsewhere for your own happiness.

Well, just wait and see if she likes you more the the other guy, if she does she will make the move over to you, but in the short term i would be asking around to see if the bloke is the buff and violent sort, because by the sounds of it you have made some serious moves on this girl and could be in for a world of physical difficulty

Quote by Enchanter

Quote by SakuraShirayukieve(...) says that when the person you love is happy then you're happy as well but i'm sure it hurts like hell to see him/ her with another person


If you love that person enough, you will be happy for him/her.

Which does not stop you from looking elsewhere for your own happiness.

Thats so true Enchanter. Its hard when it comes to the point "am I happy with this? What do I want"? Well, its not seeing the girl/boy you love with someone else.

Hard question Benjikun7. How much does she like this guy? You said that you got so much in common with this girl at work, and that must at least mean something for her, right? Wait and see what time can do. And I think you should just be yourself, cause if you act funny cause of this it can be a problem. Its easy to tell when another person is acting strange, especially when you two got so much in common.
Thats the hard thing if you want to start a relationship, its so hard to stop with it (and it hurts too :\). I wish you the best of all luck Benjikun ^^

ah it is love as beautiful as the ocean yet mysterious as the sky...
hahaha, quote from some game trust me not my words
i donno buddy, you're on your own on this one...
hahaha

Quote by EnchanterIf you love that person enough, you will be happy for him/her.

Which does not stop you from looking elsewhere for your own happiness.

Couldn't agree more. The last thing you want is jealousy in a friendship.

There's two options that comes into my mind and they are:

1. Wait your turn. There's still a chance if your friend breaks up with her boyfriend.

2. Look somewhere else in the mean time.

I say wait and still be her friend, still hang-out, talk on the phone and just wait to see what happens. who knows maybe one day she will see that she wants you instead of the guy she is going out with right now. also ask her how is her relationship going, is she happy, does he take good care of her. questions like that and then say that if she needs anyone to talk to you will be there for her. I should know cuz a lot of guys told me that and it makes me feel good to know that one of my guy friends will be there for me.

Oh, sure. Be the fallback guy. Be there if she needs a shoulder to cry on or whatever.

I think not.

Honestly, the way I see it is that you'll be better off looking somewhere else for love. Sure, you can still be friends with this girl if you think you can handle it without getting too heartbroken.

Anyway, why am I saying this? Well, mainly because of this.

If she IS a nice, intelligent and fun girl, you would assume that she's smart enough not to fall for abusive or indifferent jerks that will mistreat her and eventually make her want to get out of the relationship. This means that waiting around is pretty much pointless. Granted, there might be a small chance that they will "fall out of" love, but this, if it happens at all, tend to take a very, very long time. Hell, by the time it happens, you might very well have fallen out of your crush yourself.

On the other hand, if she's the kind of girl that can be won over just like that, would you really want a relationship with her? If she's the kind of girl who will just switch whenever she finds someone "better"? Doesn't sound like a good deal to me.

Judging from your post, though, the latter probably isn't the case at all, but it's something to think about. Either way, friends is good. Hoping for a breakup for your own benefit.... not so good.

nothing, me myself have same exp wth u, n it happened a few weeks ago hik hik hik

I tend to confuse feelings between good friends and the "like" for a guy..
But if it did happen to me.. I'll just think.. forget it.. He's probably not he one for me.. I think that if she's the one for you, she'll end up with you in the end.. haha

that'd be fine. i just 'like' the person anyway

i will be heartbroken but will get over it sooner or later..

first i'd try to find out if she's happy with him.
if she is i'll let her be... with my heart shattered in pieces
if she's not then i will try m best to win her over

Ya move on. People tend to want what they can't have.

God knows how many times this has happened to me, I'm such a hopeless romantic...move on I say

Be happy being friends with her, and if there is a crack that develops or they eventually break up - definately give her time to emotionally heal before making any moves if you choose to do so at that time. For now, however, just be glad that you can be friends. Sometimes that's better than dating. Good luck.

move on, just be happy that she's happy.
im in the same position at the moment XD
and if you can't move on... wait for them to split and then go for it lol :D

1. Keep this up and you could be climbimg up the ladder of love, and she might dump her current bf to go out with you,

2. Try and get over it. -_- But it really never woks now does it.

Just keep on being friends with her and nothing else.
You just really don't want to be in a "love-triangle".
Besides if she already has someone then she shouldn't look for another one.

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