Have you ever felt like no matter where you are, with your family, with your
friends, with your loved ones, that you just can't fit in? I know I have. I
always feel this way. The only safe place for me used to be my house with my
parents and brother, but then that all changed. My father moved out and now
there's a sense of unbalance...my mother's too easy and my father's too hard...I
just can't fit in with either of them. One is an older version of me (my
mom)...which isn't good because I annoy a lot of people while the other is just
too...strict...there's not balance and I can't fit in with either of them. I
can't fit in with my friends at church either, even though I've known them since
we were in diapers...it's as if they've grown up without me...I've grown distant
from them and can't seem to get back on track... In school...I've never been
good with a lot of people, so I kind of am an outsider in a way. And even with
my friends, I sometimes feel like an outsider. I mean, they like black and
they're into rock and nature (well...some) and they're just...different (a lot)
from me. It's like no matter how hard I try to be myself or fit in, the more
left out I become. Even when I change little parts about myself like with my
friends, where I start listening to more rock and watch them more closly, I just
feel left out. Have you ever felt this way? If you've gone through it, do you
have any advice? And don't say be yourself...because that's what I'm trying to
do...and at some times...its not working out well...
Well, I certainly have felt the same way you have before.
I'm not very close to my parents and well even in high school I was in a very
large group. Whilst the bunch of girls were all bright little cookies and all
that, I was different in my approaches to life. I enjoyed music much more than
anything else, and they were all movie junkies. Another bunch (out of our group)
were fashionistas, and another group loved playing cards. Of course, there were
the computer geeks
Everyone has a time in their life (possibly even all the time) feeling left out,
but if you think about it, you shouldn't have to change yourself at all to fit
in. When you find your own passions, and your friends are still your friends
because they like you for being you- they should like you even if you don't
share the same interests as they do.
For instance, they might like hanging out with you because you're a caring
person, have a great personality, feel secure with you or just enjoy your
company and enjoy hearing you talk.
I guess "be yourself" isn't the advice you're looking for, but there
are other things associated with this, like just relaxing. Possibly you can stop
emphasising the fact you feel left out- if you forget about it and just enjoy
yourself, you probably won't think or notice it at all. In a crude sense, it's
like having a pimple on your face- if you forget about it and not look in the
mirror or touch your face, you won't even notice it's there And when
you do, it'd probably be gone already
Just think about happy things, and really, you fit in anywhere and probably more
than you think
*gives you a hug*
I could kind of understand what you're going through. I was not close to my
father but I am very close to my mother. In fact, my father terrorized my mother
and me. When I was in school I was never able to click and made virtually no
friends while in high school or in college. Socially speaking I am still having
problems getting comfortably in front of people.
I too am not going to say be yourself. What I am going to suggest is to find
common things that you can associate and you have couple of things going in your
favor.
1) You are younger than me which means you have more opportunity to get things
right.
2) You have interest in anime. Isn't that why you are in MT in the first place?
Before I became
involved in anime I had no friend whatsoever. Through anime I found common
things to
associate.
3) Continue your education. This is critical in that it will provide windows of
opportunity to your
future.
You'll have to forgive me that I am not offering you much of advise. I do
however want to say that I am still trying and not giving up.
Wow Nissa-san we sure do have a lot in common! I feel like that all the time! At
first I was just ashamed at who I was, then it turned into an urge to be
accepted, and now I'm just so confused! No matter who I'm with, friends or
family, I always feel like something is just horribly, horribly, horribly wrong.
My Mom just digs into my personal buisness (which is really annoying) and my Dad
is engaged with another woman so I haven't seen him in a while. In the end, it
always comes down to me not feeling like I belong. I've been to 5 schools now,
and no matter who I was friends with at those 5 schools, I just always felt like
I was alone. My current friends and I have a lot in common (well, except for
music and technology), but I just can't seem to make it work. But, now I've just
decided to make the best of who I am and now I just let things pass by more
often. Now Ijust accept it and move on insted of trying to find a solution. That
may be the easy way out, but it is also the less stressful way out. Wait a
sec....I didn't help you at all! So sorry! I'm so stupid with this kinda thing!
I know that for a while, I tried to be something that I wasn't (personality
wise). And that, in and of itself, really burnt me out so I wasn't enjoying life. Therefore, I decided to
just be me, and even though it put me on the outside - I found that people that
I'd known for a while appreciated me for my little quirks and strange outlook on
life, even though they didn't really "get it." They thought
"normally" and I've got a very strange brain, what can I say? Anyway,
if you are you, then other people who are similar to you will start to gravitate
towards you and you towards them because you're able to see how much you have in
common.
Time is also a key factor, so even though life may suck now - the future is
always bright! If not, well screw the world for a while and enjoy yourself. Indulge in
something. For me that would be a video game or a good book. Find a fictitious
world that you like and live there for a couple of hours out of each day. An
escape from reality never hurt anybody.
The mother and father thing I can relate to... unfrortunately for me though, I
wasn't old enough to remember them being together, just old enough to remember
the shocking aftermath. Just like you, my Mother's too easy on me - and my
father... extremely Strict.
As much as I wish I could give you some advice, there's honestly nothing I can
find in my heart to say to people like us. All I know is that we're stuck with
the world as it is - Which is a harsh blow to people like myself (and probably
yourself) whom spend alot of of time gorging at the wonders of the anime/manga
world.
And hey, if you feel like an outsider everywhere, I'm sure there are people on
this site, and probably every other Anime-involved site out there who share your
same interests, of course, that could only perhaps suffice for finding
friends... you've done the right thing by proclaiming this problem here, just
look at the caring people willing to help.
You're accepted here TreeFarieAaliyah, you can escape, even for some few minutes
a day to the net just like the rest of us who feel left out physically and
emotionally.
I feel like that every day since i became a little older than a baby, not
fitting anywere means you are special and that your fate is got to become
compatibile with others, but otheres will become compatibile to you. I call this
The Original sindhrom
and Btw be very determinate, sure of yourself and direct. Unsure people with the
Original Sindhrome have anervous breakdown and comit suicide. Determined people
who never give up, and have the Sindhrom, become those superb people that can do
awsome things if they just try, i'm sure you read about them... It's your
choise, kill over and die, or struggle on and live. My advice is don't take the
easy way out, i never will
Unfortunately I can't say anything on your family relationships - I won't be
able to give advice or opinions based on experience.
I might add something on your friend-relationships.
Let me ask this first: those friends with whom you can't seen to fit in, who are
into black and listen to rock....are they identical to each other? Do they all
share exactly the same interests, fashion sense and preferances? Are they exact
replicas of each other?
If not, then you can assume that they probably feel exactly the same as you.
Each one, deep down inside, has some kind of inferiority complex: "I'm not
like they are, I don't fit in". Each of your friends are different. Ok,
they might share more common ground on music and dressing styles than you, but
then you should try and discover other fields of interests which are more
directly connected with yours. And don't think that there aren't any common
fields: if you have been friends for so long then you should know enough of them
and they of you to appreciate each others interests.
If the age on your userpage is correct, then you're a bit too young to be
worried about peer pressure. Or rather, it would be extremely unfortunate if it
is that big of an issue yet.
And don't pull your nose up for "just be yourself". Its easier to be
yourself than something you aren't - you have more experience to be good at what
you are yourself than what you aren't.
Otherwise all I can say is that each of your friends likewise will be under
pressure to fit in or to be "ccol". As you saw so far, its not
unnatural to feel out of place. Just accept the fact that your friends have the
same problem. Otherwise do what you can not to strain your relationship with
them. Relax. Observe them. Try and see whether they are particularly enjoying
the "trend" and if they are just fitting in themselves.
Just a word of warning though: trends such as these will be at its worst in your
middle teens and it won't stop 'till you're out of high school. Come college or
university and it won't be such a big deal anymore.
So, to be frank, you can decide now how much you are willing to let these trends
and peer pressure dominate and control your life.
Well lets see...First of all I was so intrigued at this post and I just had to
post my thoughts here being an OUTSIDER myself...Hmmm where do I start...Ah
yes..."Being Yourself"...It takes time...It may frustrate you alot of
times but dont give up on being yourself cuz if you do...You will regret it for
the rest of your life...Based from my whole life experience...I would say im
extremely proud of BEING MYSELF...I only have 1 bestfriend whom I treat as a lil
bro(Im older but his taller than meT_T) A loving DAD that took care of me all
these years(im only 18^^) Well I am a very passive person thus being an outsider
and being loner is normal for me...I dont go with the flow of our modern world
today...Loving Rap or looking like a Gangsta isnt my type...I listen to the
music I like not forcing anyone to like it...Dont try to fit in with the people
around you...I agree with the others here...Find other people who share a common
interest Like ANIME! Anyways my best advice is in this world BOTH YOUR OUTSIDE
AND INSIDE COUNTS^^ You dont need to be perfect to have Good looks and a good
heart^^ If you have those I bet people will be flocking all over you eager to
know what makes you do^^ Trust me even though im an OUTSIDER...I still smile at
other people and I attract unwanted attention especially from the ladies^^Guess
my problem^^ I have the greatest DAD and a lil bro(eventhough were not related
by blood) So yes...I am SINGLE...Been Single all my life...cuz this what made my
life like an ANIME...Im still finding the right girl for me mostly my life can
be related to the anime KARE KANO(His and Her Circumstances) Without the girl
yet^^ Either way...Goodluck to all of you^^ Goodluck in love and life^^
ya i also feel that am a outsider too...and i know that is very to convining
yourself to be yourself cause i try it before and i feel worst...cause the gap
between my frens and me is further unit they don recongineze me as their
fren...although i don mind....
but still feel so leftout when in the class with them....
only advice is try to find people who has same interest
or just lie yourself to think that are with them..!
(sorry first time using fourm my reply may be CRAP!)
Actually I do have this kind of feeling sometimes especially when I am facing a
big group of friends...
About the parents stuff i almost experienced it but thank god my parents didn't
separate so I'm very thankful now.
I used to think about this issue so much that I always cry myself to sleep at
night. However, after I went to college and found some new friends, I seem to be
able to blend in with others more easily.
Though up till now I still don't really have many friends, I do have a very
close friend that i cherish very much.
TreeFarieAaliyah, just take things easily. Even though the majority doesnt
really accept you, I still think that if you can have even 1 person that fits
perfectly with you, it is already very good and trust me, you would cherish that
person a lot.
u'll see i'll get u =.=. right when ur sleeping i'll snot up all that hair u got
until ur bald natashie. u'll see nyehehehe creature of the light u'll see =.=
My sister brought me along to her formal and her friends were fake as; they
didn't even include her on one of their TWO tables which seated ten each. Well
anyway, my sister isn't exactly Ms Popularity and as I didn't even know anyone I
felt really excluded. It was really horrible. I was too busy trying to give
death stares to all those bitches who were giving my sis a hard time to really
mesh with anyone and it totally sucked. Plus I really don't have the confidence
or the social skills to deal with that kind of atmosphere. So um, there's my
life story (sorry), but I really had to get that of my chest =P.
I think everyone has felt like they didn't "fit in" in one point in
their life. Childhood and those awkward adolescent days wouldn't be normal
without at least one of those experiences. I haven't felt like an outsider this
junior year of high school so far, (I just LOVE my friends!) but hey---I've felt
it a lot before...
lol.. i guess the only time i felt like an outsider is when i moved to
singapore, i couldn't speak english nor can i understand their jokes at first =D
but i just it is all in the past
When i got to my 1st year of middle school i was a complete outsider heck i
didn't make a single friend til 7th grade. although i have to admit being along
give you alot of time to think. so that wasn't so bad.
I always had this kind of feeling. Not every day but sometimes and it started in
Kindergarten. Sometimes I've felt like I was in the wrong place and didn't fit
in the environment.
But nowadays this feeling is not so strong. I only have it when I attend a party
or when I'm in a closed room with unknown faces.
Mmmmm i just find it with a racial complex its kinda hard to feel like u
belong...but these days it doesnt bother me as much coz i guess..humans are
humans no matter which culture they'r bought up in
Unfotunately I have been experiencing that my whole life. In elementary, I
started off as a nerd because in second grade i would read books wayyyy above
grade level...kids wud use me and i was just a doormat...then, in 4th-5th, i
became the popular girl but that was just for being that wierdo i am today. And
even then, kids used me. They were all into...different
styles...music...everthing. I was totally into the heavy metal and rock...and
they were into...rap (ick, no offense). I was also a Muslim so I got into
hundreds of fights. Then in middle school, I was a hijabee (a Muslim girl who
wears a headdress) so I never fit in. People mocked me, threatened me, and tried
to fight me. Not until last year did i truly feel like i belonged with...my
friends. I mean, I still feel like i dont belong because my friends are just
sooooooooooo incredibly amazing and i am kind of...not that great. But yea...and
then also, I just don't fit in with my family. I get into fights every day and
it's because I feel like who i really am is suppressed through my culture (note,
Natashie, not my religion). I am a boyish girl with fashion sense (kudos, nice
way to put it, ay?). And my parents don't like that I am so...fashionable. ANd
my sisters are COMPLETE TOMBOYS. honestly. but...advice...well, i guess you
needa look at it from an outsider's poiint of view. Your friends, yes natashie
misa, me, nicolee, sera, etc. love you for what and who you are. if you feel
left out...well stop thinking your left our because you're sooooooooooooooo
wonderful and we love you for being u. so yea, dont think ur left out because u
will realize u r. i kno its not helpful, i just wanna tell u...how much...WE
LOVE U...(tears and dabs at eyes with kerchief).
Usually, but I do it on purpose.
All through sign I made sure I had this quiet darkness to me...shades indoors,
darker clothes, sitting on my own, because other people just get in my way. My
focus was my studies (and now my job) so nothing else mattered
I did all the quiet stuff except having "F-off" written on my forehead
Have you ever felt like no matter where you are, with your family, with your friends, with your loved ones, that you just can't fit in? I know I have. I always feel this way. The only safe place for me used to be my house with my parents and brother, but then that all changed. My father moved out and now there's a sense of unbalance...my mother's too easy and my father's too hard...I just can't fit in with either of them. One is an older version of me (my mom)...which isn't good because I annoy a lot of people while the other is just too...strict...there's not balance and I can't fit in with either of them. I can't fit in with my friends at church either, even though I've known them since we were in diapers...it's as if they've grown up without me...I've grown distant from them and can't seem to get back on track... In school...I've never been good with a lot of people, so I kind of am an outsider in a way. And even with my friends, I sometimes feel like an outsider. I mean, they like black and they're into rock and nature (well...some) and they're just...different (a lot) from me. It's like no matter how hard I try to be myself or fit in, the more left out I become. Even when I change little parts about myself like with my friends, where I start listening to more rock and watch them more closly, I just feel left out. Have you ever felt this way? If you've gone through it, do you have any advice? And don't say be yourself...because that's what I'm trying to do...and at some times...its not working out well...
Well, I certainly have felt the same way you have before.
I'm not very close to my parents and well even in high school I was in a very large group. Whilst the bunch of girls were all bright little cookies and all that, I was different in my approaches to life. I enjoyed music much more than anything else, and they were all movie junkies. Another bunch (out of our group) were fashionistas, and another group loved playing cards. Of course, there were the computer geeks
Everyone has a time in their life (possibly even all the time) feeling left out, but if you think about it, you shouldn't have to change yourself at all to fit in. When you find your own passions, and your friends are still your friends because they like you for being you- they should like you even if you don't share the same interests as they do.
For instance, they might like hanging out with you because you're a caring person, have a great personality, feel secure with you or just enjoy your company and enjoy hearing you talk.
I guess "be yourself" isn't the advice you're looking for, but there are other things associated with this, like just relaxing. Possibly you can stop emphasising the fact you feel left out- if you forget about it and just enjoy yourself, you probably won't think or notice it at all. In a crude sense, it's like having a pimple on your face- if you forget about it and not look in the mirror or touch your face, you won't even notice it's there
And when
you do, it'd probably be gone already 
Just think about happy things, and really, you fit in anywhere and probably more than you think
*gives you a hug*
I could kind of understand what you're going through. I was not close to my father but I am very close to my mother. In fact, my father terrorized my mother and me. When I was in school I was never able to click and made virtually no friends while in high school or in college. Socially speaking I am still having problems getting comfortably in front of people.
I too am not going to say be yourself. What I am going to suggest is to find common things that you can associate and you have couple of things going in your favor.
1) You are younger than me which means you have more opportunity to get things right.
2) You have interest in anime. Isn't that why you are in MT in the first place? Before I became
involved in anime I had no friend whatsoever. Through anime I found common things to
associate.
3) Continue your education. This is critical in that it will provide windows of opportunity to your
future.
You'll have to forgive me that I am not offering you much of advise. I do however want to say that I am still trying and not giving up.
Me, too. Nobody recognize me (even the girls).
(uh, all I can say is just these. Sorry)
Wow Nissa-san we sure do have a lot in common! I feel like that all the time! At first I was just ashamed at who I was, then it turned into an urge to be accepted, and now I'm just so confused! No matter who I'm with, friends or family, I always feel like something is just horribly, horribly, horribly wrong. My Mom just digs into my personal buisness (which is really annoying) and my Dad is engaged with another woman so I haven't seen him in a while. In the end, it always comes down to me not feeling like I belong. I've been to 5 schools now, and no matter who I was friends with at those 5 schools, I just always felt like I was alone. My current friends and I have a lot in common (well, except for music and technology), but I just can't seem to make it work. But, now I've just decided to make the best of who I am and now I just let things pass by more often. Now Ijust accept it and move on insted of trying to find a solution. That may be the easy way out, but it is also the less stressful way out. Wait a sec....I didn't help you at all! So sorry! I'm so stupid with this kinda thing!
I know that for a while, I tried to be something that I wasn't (personality wise). And that, in and of itself, really burnt me out so I wasn't enjoying life. Therefore, I decided to just be me, and even though it put me on the outside - I found that people that I'd known for a while appreciated me for my little quirks and strange outlook on life, even though they didn't really "get it." They thought "normally" and I've got a very strange brain, what can I say?
Anyway,
if you are you, then other people who are similar to you will start to gravitate
towards you and you towards them because you're able to see how much you have in
common.
Time is also a key factor, so even though life may suck now - the future is always bright!
If not, well screw the world for a while and enjoy yourself. 
Indulge in
something. For me that would be a video game or a good book. Find a fictitious
world that you like and live there for a couple of hours out of each day. An
escape from reality never hurt anybody. 
The mother and father thing I can relate to... unfrortunately for me though, I wasn't old enough to remember them being together, just old enough to remember the shocking aftermath. Just like you, my Mother's too easy on me - and my father... extremely Strict.
As much as I wish I could give you some advice, there's honestly nothing I can find in my heart to say to people like us. All I know is that we're stuck with the world as it is - Which is a harsh blow to people like myself (and probably yourself) whom spend alot of of time gorging at the wonders of the anime/manga world.
And hey, if you feel like an outsider everywhere, I'm sure there are people on this site, and probably every other Anime-involved site out there who share your same interests, of course, that could only perhaps suffice for finding friends... you've done the right thing by proclaiming this problem here, just look at the caring people willing to help.
You're accepted here TreeFarieAaliyah, you can escape, even for some few minutes a day to the net just like the rest of us who feel left out physically and emotionally.
I feel like that every day since i became a little older than a baby, not fitting anywere means you are special and that your fate is got to become compatibile with others, but otheres will become compatibile to you. I call this The Original sindhrom
and Btw be very determinate, sure of yourself and direct. Unsure people with the Original Sindhrome have anervous breakdown and comit suicide. Determined people who never give up, and have the Sindhrom, become those superb people that can do awsome things if they just try, i'm sure you read about them... It's your choise, kill over and die, or struggle on and live. My advice is don't take the easy way out, i never will
Unfortunately I can't say anything on your family relationships - I won't be able to give advice or opinions based on experience.
I might add something on your friend-relationships.
Let me ask this first: those friends with whom you can't seen to fit in, who are into black and listen to rock....are they identical to each other? Do they all share exactly the same interests, fashion sense and preferances? Are they exact replicas of each other?
If not, then you can assume that they probably feel exactly the same as you. Each one, deep down inside, has some kind of inferiority complex: "I'm not like they are, I don't fit in". Each of your friends are different. Ok, they might share more common ground on music and dressing styles than you, but then you should try and discover other fields of interests which are more directly connected with yours. And don't think that there aren't any common fields: if you have been friends for so long then you should know enough of them and they of you to appreciate each others interests.
If the age on your userpage is correct, then you're a bit too young to be worried about peer pressure. Or rather, it would be extremely unfortunate if it is that big of an issue yet.
And don't pull your nose up for "just be yourself". Its easier to be yourself than something you aren't - you have more experience to be good at what you are yourself than what you aren't.
Otherwise all I can say is that each of your friends likewise will be under pressure to fit in or to be "ccol". As you saw so far, its not unnatural to feel out of place. Just accept the fact that your friends have the same problem. Otherwise do what you can not to strain your relationship with them. Relax. Observe them. Try and see whether they are particularly enjoying the "trend" and if they are just fitting in themselves.
Just a word of warning though: trends such as these will be at its worst in your middle teens and it won't stop 'till you're out of high school. Come college or university and it won't be such a big deal anymore.
So, to be frank, you can decide now how much you are willing to let these trends and peer pressure dominate and control your life.
Well lets see...First of all I was so intrigued at this post and I just had to post my thoughts here being an OUTSIDER myself...Hmmm where do I start...Ah yes..."Being Yourself"...It takes time...It may frustrate you alot of times but dont give up on being yourself cuz if you do...You will regret it for the rest of your life...Based from my whole life experience...I would say im extremely proud of BEING MYSELF...I only have 1 bestfriend whom I treat as a lil bro(Im older but his taller than meT_T) A loving DAD that took care of me all these years(im only 18^^) Well I am a very passive person thus being an outsider and being loner is normal for me...I dont go with the flow of our modern world today...Loving Rap or looking like a Gangsta isnt my type...I listen to the music I like not forcing anyone to like it...Dont try to fit in with the people around you...I agree with the others here...Find other people who share a common interest Like ANIME! Anyways my best advice is in this world BOTH YOUR OUTSIDE AND INSIDE COUNTS^^ You dont need to be perfect to have Good looks and a good heart^^ If you have those I bet people will be flocking all over you eager to know what makes you do^^ Trust me even though im an OUTSIDER...I still smile at other people and I attract unwanted attention especially from the ladies^^Guess my problem^^ I have the greatest DAD and a lil bro(eventhough were not related by blood) So yes...I am SINGLE...Been Single all my life...cuz this what made my life like an ANIME...Im still finding the right girl for me mostly my life can be related to the anime KARE KANO(His and Her Circumstances) Without the girl yet^^ Either way...Goodluck to all of you^^ Goodluck in love and life^^
ya i also feel that am a outsider too...and i know that is very to convining yourself to be yourself cause i try it before and i feel worst...cause the gap between my frens and me is further unit they don recongineze me as their fren...although i don mind....
but still feel so leftout when in the class with them....
only advice is try to find people who has same interest
or just lie yourself to think that are with them..!
(sorry first time using fourm my reply may be CRAP!)
Actually I do have this kind of feeling sometimes especially when I am facing a big group of friends...
About the parents stuff i almost experienced it but thank god my parents didn't separate so I'm very thankful now.
I used to think about this issue so much that I always cry myself to sleep at night. However, after I went to college and found some new friends, I seem to be able to blend in with others more easily.
Though up till now I still don't really have many friends, I do have a very close friend that i cherish very much.
TreeFarieAaliyah, just take things easily. Even though the majority doesnt really accept you, I still think that if you can have even 1 person that fits perfectly with you, it is already very good and trust me, you would cherish that person a lot.
Take care:)
heh heh...:P how wud uuuuuu kno?
merged: 12-16-2006 ~ 05:42am
i mean...if i told anyone? how wud u rlly kno if i told sumone?
merged: 12-16-2006 ~ 05:42am
And thank you so much! I feel so much better! Everyone! You guys have helped a lot!
u'll see i'll get u =.=. right when ur sleeping i'll snot up all that hair u got until ur bald natashie. u'll see nyehehehe creature of the light u'll see =.=
there r times where i mostly feel left out... -.-
My sister brought me along to her formal and her friends were fake as; they didn't even include her on one of their TWO tables which seated ten each. Well anyway, my sister isn't exactly Ms Popularity and as I didn't even know anyone I felt really excluded. It was really horrible. I was too busy trying to give death stares to all those bitches who were giving my sis a hard time to really mesh with anyone and it totally sucked. Plus I really don't have the confidence or the social skills to deal with that kind of atmosphere. So um, there's my life story (sorry), but I really had to get that of my chest =P.
I think everyone has felt like they didn't "fit in" in one point in their life. Childhood and those awkward adolescent days wouldn't be normal without at least one of those experiences. I haven't felt like an outsider this junior year of high school so far, (I just LOVE my friends!) but hey---I've felt it a lot before...
lol.. i guess the only time i felt like an outsider is when i moved to singapore, i couldn't speak english nor can i understand their jokes at first =D but i just it is all in the past
When i got to my 1st year of middle school i was a complete outsider heck i didn't make a single friend til 7th grade. although i have to admit being along give you alot of time to think. so that wasn't so bad.
Sure. when i participate in social gatherings where i dont kow anything about it.
I always had this kind of feeling. Not every day but sometimes and it started in Kindergarten. Sometimes I've felt like I was in the wrong place and didn't fit in the environment.
But nowadays this feeling is not so strong. I only have it when I attend a party or when I'm in a closed room with unknown faces.
Mmmmm i just find it with a racial complex its kinda hard to feel like u belong...but these days it doesnt bother me as much coz i guess..humans are humans no matter which culture they'r bought up in
Unfotunately I have been experiencing that my whole life. In elementary, I started off as a nerd because in second grade i would read books wayyyy above grade level...kids wud use me and i was just a doormat...then, in 4th-5th, i became the popular girl but that was just for being that wierdo i am today. And even then, kids used me. They were all into...different styles...music...everthing. I was totally into the heavy metal and rock...and they were into...rap (ick, no offense). I was also a Muslim so I got into hundreds of fights. Then in middle school, I was a hijabee (a Muslim girl who wears a headdress) so I never fit in. People mocked me, threatened me, and tried to fight me. Not until last year did i truly feel like i belonged with...my friends. I mean, I still feel like i dont belong because my friends are just sooooooooooo incredibly amazing and i am kind of...not that great. But yea...and then also, I just don't fit in with my family. I get into fights every day and it's because I feel like who i really am is suppressed through my culture (note, Natashie, not my religion). I am a boyish girl with fashion sense (kudos, nice way to put it, ay?). And my parents don't like that I am so...fashionable. ANd my sisters are COMPLETE TOMBOYS. honestly. but...advice...well, i guess you needa look at it from an outsider's poiint of view. Your friends, yes natashie misa, me, nicolee, sera, etc. love you for what and who you are. if you feel left out...well stop thinking your left our because you're sooooooooooooooo wonderful and we love you for being u. so yea, dont think ur left out because u will realize u r. i kno its not helpful, i just wanna tell u...how much...WE LOVE U...(tears and dabs at eyes with kerchief).
Usually, but I do it on purpose.
All through sign I made sure I had this quiet darkness to me...shades indoors, darker clothes, sitting on my own, because other people just get in my way. My focus was my studies (and now my job) so nothing else mattered
I did all the quiet stuff except having "F-off" written on my forehead