Could you guys please check out the doujinshi I made?

Zero Doujin by twilightofrose

The reason why I want comments very badly on this picture is that I'm still new at drawing, and I've drawn something for a friend for Christmas. But the thing is, I don't find it so nice, but it could be only me, so I need your opinions.

Thanks a lot, and I'm sorry if this is off-topic

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