Well this is an interesting topic to say the least. I don't know how close you
two are or how long you have known each other. As far as your friend goes, is he
just someone you hang out with casually, one you spend a good amount of time
around with a group of friends, childhood friends? best friends?
Depending on where you two stand it can be difficult, while it may be good to
get it out, it could have bad results with your friendship depending on how
understanding he is.
Take it easy, take it slow in explanation. It's possible that he has some
feelings for you but maybe not to the degree you have, more of a good friend
type of thing.
Age is one thing as well, while younger to mid teens are still getting past the
awkward stage and finding who they are, plus being a guy, all the testosterone
and wanting to impress the fairer sex and the whole guy x guy thing being the
furthest thing from their minds.
I recommend going to your parents first and just tell them the issue and they
might be able to help out
ok umm this is a tuffy... i guess its matters wheter you really like him or you
really like his as a friend. i difacult to detumen if you gay or not maby you
sre but i think you just really like him as a friend but i cant really say
because i dont know you are your frined.
ty both for ur comments im rather shy so im uncertian how to ask anyone for help
on this subject
if it helps i meet him one and a half years ago and im 17
awwww...sorry, i find boy love cute.....maybe its cause of yaoi......
anyway, pretty much what speedfreak19 said. if you tell this guy you love him,
it could really mess up your friendship. but, there is always
the,"'friend's name' I love you." and if they do the "Um.....Okay
then........" or "WTF!" thing, you can lie and say, "I mean
as a friend, duh! So, do you love me?" i mean, you would really feel bad
about it all, as in pretending to ONLY love him as a friend, but it would still,
let you know a little, how close friends he thinks of you as. Also, you can ask
if he likes a girl, to find out if he's gay. soz, cause i'm curious, are you gay
or bisexual? or you really don't know anymore? i have a friend (male, bisexual)
who had a boyfriend, i can ask him about it, like how the other handled it, if
you want i mean.
also, i think your old enough to tell weather you love this guy, or just love
him as a best friend. also, even though going to your parents can be a good
thing, always think about how they will take it.
^^ good luck with it! i hope i helped. Also, if someone found out you like your
friend, the word,"hey, do you know "your name" is gay?!" and
news about that kind of stuff (anything that has to do with love, especially
male x male, and female x female) spreads fast.
also, there is nothing wrong with liking other boys. it shows your mature, and
like people for who they are, not how they look (unless he's way hot, and you
are jeleous that people call him cute behind his back, so that's why you like
him... but i know that's not true) also, just because some people think male x
male relationships are weird (even though i don't see why people started to
think that way) i say go for it, but be careful.
XD see ya!
The big question here is do you love him like a brother or like a lover.
Sometimes you can get the two feelings confused so be careful when you answer
yourself that. I ask because I know it can happen, my best friend is like a
brother to me, but on the odd occassion you think of them as more than that. I
know I don't love him in that way, but sometimes you feel that way because you
can find any other way to express your gratification for their friendship. For
me its a psychological weakness of expression, and it might be for you too, but
it might also be a real feeling so think about it carefully.
Hmm....a very tricky subject, you have. Let me see....what could I say, that the
others haven't? *thinks for a second*Oh, I've got it.
Like the others (I hate repeating others), you've got to think this situation
through completely. I mean; everything from whether you like or love him, to
your friends reaction, and to the fact about school.
For example: my friend was in a situation like yours. We were juniors (in high
school), when he asked me what to do; because he really liked a mutual friend of
ours. Well, I told him to think things through, and every situation. And...he
didn't listen. He spoke to our friend at lunch, and was flatly turned down and
then ignored the rest of the day. That night, I was on the phone with him, for
hours as he cried; literally. Then, the next day at school, it was all over that
he was gay...again, another thing he didn't expect and he didn't even stay for
classes. He got over it after 2 months, and is finally happy now.
SO...that probably made things worse for you. Um....I guess I just don't want
you to go through something like my friend. So...just plan for everything to
happen, and how you will handle the overal situation. Things could go nicely or
horribly. This is just one of those situations where...your damned if you tell
him (being ignored and looked down on) and your damned if you don't (miserable
and constantly wondering 'what if'). So...I think if you do what you think is
right...then that's all you can do. You can't do anything to change yourself;
regardless how hard you try.
I probably didn't help much...and sorry about that. But, good luck with your
decision. If you need someone to talk too...I'm always here.
i really don't know what to say to u. either way u will get anxious or hurt and
neither r good things. whatever u do, i hope u r prepared for the consequences
and at least know what is coming for u. if u confess to ur friend he would
probably be afraid or awkward whenever u're near him, but if he's a good friend
he will ignore that and still treat u the same as before. if u don't tell him,
he will be unaware of it (i think) and u'll just have that temptation until u
fall for someone else.
Hmn. . . I think you should'nt tell him. . .
^/_\^
But hey, think first. If you will tell him, ask yourself. . . What could happen
if you tell him...? WHat would be his reaction...? Most impt., how will you tell
him.
-Don't mind me. Xry for not being too much of a help
If he's not gay then leave him alone, he doesn't need gay guys bothering him
when he has his mind on women. Find out his stance on it, and if he's straight,
then take a step back and find someone else. It's not like you have some sort of
right to change someone's sexual preferences because your feelings towards them,
thats unfair and manipulative. I suggest going to a gay camp to get reformed to
heterosexual-ism, ASAP. Infact, I will get heterosexual porn and GIVE IT TO YOU
so you get started. I await your answer.
merged: 02-23-2007 ~ 11:18pm
Quote by zofusawwww...sorry, i find boy
love cute.....maybe its cause of yaoi......
anyway, pretty much what speedfreak19 said. if you tell this guy you love him,
it could really mess up your friendship. but, there is always
the,"'friend's name' I love you." and if they do the "Um.....Okay
then........" or "WTF!" thing, you can lie and say, "I mean
as a friend, duh! So, do you love me?" i mean, you would really feel bad
about it all, as in pretending to ONLY love him as a friend, but it would still,
let you know a little, how close friends he thinks of you as. Also, you can ask
if he likes a girl, to find out if he's gay. soz, cause i'm curious, are you gay
or bisexual? or you really don't know anymore? i have a friend (male, bisexual)
who had a boyfriend, i can ask him about it, like how the other handled it, if
you want i mean.
also, i think your old enough to tell weather you love this guy, or just love
him as a best friend. also, even though going to your parents can be a good
thing, always think about how they will take it.
^^ good luck with it! i hope i helped. Also, if someone found out you like your
friend, the word,"hey, do you know "your name" is gay?!" and
news about that kind of stuff (anything that has to do with love, especially
male x male, and female x female) spreads fast.
also, there is nothing wrong with liking other boys. it shows your mature, and
like people for who they are, not how they look (unless he's way hot, and you
are jeleous that people call him cute behind his back, so that's why you like
him... but i know that's not true) also, just because some people think male x
male relationships are weird (even though i don't see why people started to
think that way) i say go for it, but be careful.
XD see ya!
First, being gay isn't a disease that can be cured by praying and reading the
Bible..It's not a disease at all and shouldn't be treated as such. Just like
have white skin or having black skin isn't a disease either...It's just the way
you were born. In some cases, it can be influenced through environment but it's
not "wrong" either way. And now that that's out of system....
Never feel guilty for who you are, first off. As for your friend...It could be
infatuation, brotherly love, or you could actually be in love with him. Whatever
the case, you need to take it slowly. You said in another post that you don't
know how to tell your friends about your sexual preference but that you've told
your best friend. I'm assuming from this that the rest of them don't know,
either because you haven't told them or because they haven't noticed. Telling
someone how you feel about them is a delicate situation -- they could feel the
same and everything's cool or they don't have the same feelings and then it's
awkard, sometimes never letting the friendship return to "normal." I'd
definitely wait until you've told him that you're gay and see how he reacts to
it. If he freaks out, of course, back off. If he's cool with it...Is he
straight? Is he admittedly gay as well? Or is he still "unsure"?
Well imconfused never said whether what their sexual preference was, so its hard
to judge. Just becuase you might have feeling for a guy does not necessairly
mean you are gay. Some people are attracted to both sexes and some are
hetrosexual but have strong no-sexual feeling towards members of the opposite
sex.
Hoe, that happened to one of my friends...Look, they were best friends, but only
one was gay...and he knew that the other guy didn't feel attracted towards
members of the same sex...But he really wanted to be with him, and both were
suffering because they argued...So, finally he told him and now they are a happy
couple in secret ^^...I think you should tell him...if you want, you could give
him an insinuation, to know...
Quote by DeathbonewitchFind out
his stance on it, and if he's straight, then take a step back and find someone
else
im in love with my friend. ive been dreaming about him for some time but were both guys. i dont know what to do? do i tell him? im confused.
Well this is an interesting topic to say the least. I don't know how close you two are or how long you have known each other. As far as your friend goes, is he just someone you hang out with casually, one you spend a good amount of time around with a group of friends, childhood friends? best friends?
Depending on where you two stand it can be difficult, while it may be good to get it out, it could have bad results with your friendship depending on how understanding he is.
Take it easy, take it slow in explanation. It's possible that he has some feelings for you but maybe not to the degree you have, more of a good friend type of thing.
Age is one thing as well, while younger to mid teens are still getting past the awkward stage and finding who they are, plus being a guy, all the testosterone and wanting to impress the fairer sex and the whole guy x guy thing being the furthest thing from their minds.
I recommend going to your parents first and just tell them the issue and they might be able to help out
hope that helped
ok umm this is a tuffy... i guess its matters wheter you really like him or you really like his as a friend. i difacult to detumen if you gay or not maby you sre but i think you just really like him as a friend but i cant really say because i dont know you are your frined.
ty both for ur comments im rather shy so im uncertian how to ask anyone for help on this subject
if it helps i meet him one and a half years ago and im 17
umm, well does he like guys? Does he like u? Why do u like him? Sorry I'm not much help...
merged: 02-08-2007 ~ 09:55am
I say go for it, but be careful. Think of a moment first...
awwww...sorry, i find boy love cute.....maybe its cause of yaoi......
anyway, pretty much what speedfreak19 said. if you tell this guy you love him, it could really mess up your friendship. but, there is always the,"'friend's name' I love you." and if they do the "Um.....Okay then........" or "WTF!" thing, you can lie and say, "I mean as a friend, duh! So, do you love me?" i mean, you would really feel bad about it all, as in pretending to ONLY love him as a friend, but it would still, let you know a little, how close friends he thinks of you as. Also, you can ask if he likes a girl, to find out if he's gay. soz, cause i'm curious, are you gay or bisexual? or you really don't know anymore? i have a friend (male, bisexual) who had a boyfriend, i can ask him about it, like how the other handled it, if you want i mean.
also, i think your old enough to tell weather you love this guy, or just love him as a best friend. also, even though going to your parents can be a good thing, always think about how they will take it.
^^ good luck with it! i hope i helped. Also, if someone found out you like your friend, the word,"hey, do you know "your name" is gay?!" and news about that kind of stuff (anything that has to do with love, especially male x male, and female x female) spreads fast.
also, there is nothing wrong with liking other boys. it shows your mature, and like people for who they are, not how they look (unless he's way hot, and you are jeleous that people call him cute behind his back, so that's why you like him... but i know that's not true) also, just because some people think male x male relationships are weird (even though i don't see why people started to think that way) i say go for it, but be careful.
XD see ya!
merged: 02-08-2007 ~ 11:07am
The big question here is do you love him like a brother or like a lover. Sometimes you can get the two feelings confused so be careful when you answer yourself that. I ask because I know it can happen, my best friend is like a brother to me, but on the odd occassion you think of them as more than that. I know I don't love him in that way, but sometimes you feel that way because you can find any other way to express your gratification for their friendship. For me its a psychological weakness of expression, and it might be for you too, but it might also be a real feeling so think about it carefully.
Hmm....a very tricky subject, you have. Let me see....what could I say, that the others haven't? *thinks for a second*Oh, I've got it.
Like the others (I hate repeating others), you've got to think this situation through completely. I mean; everything from whether you like or love him, to your friends reaction, and to the fact about school.
For example: my friend was in a situation like yours. We were juniors (in high school), when he asked me what to do; because he really liked a mutual friend of ours. Well, I told him to think things through, and every situation. And...he didn't listen.
He spoke to our friend at lunch, and was flatly turned down and
then ignored the rest of the day. That night, I was on the phone with him, for
hours as he cried; literally. Then, the next day at school, it was all over that
he was gay...again, another thing he didn't expect and he didn't even stay for
classes. He got over it after 2 months, and is finally happy now.
SO...that probably made things worse for you. Um....I guess I just don't want you to go through something like my friend. So...just plan for everything to happen, and how you will handle the overal situation. Things could go nicely or horribly. This is just one of those situations where...your damned if you tell him (being ignored and looked down on) and your damned if you don't (miserable and constantly wondering 'what if'). So...I think if you do what you think is right...then that's all you can do. You can't do anything to change yourself; regardless how hard you try.
I probably didn't help much...and sorry about that. But, good luck with your decision. If you need someone to talk too...I'm always here.
i really don't know what to say to u. either way u will get anxious or hurt and neither r good things. whatever u do, i hope u r prepared for the consequences and at least know what is coming for u. if u confess to ur friend he would probably be afraid or awkward whenever u're near him, but if he's a good friend he will ignore that and still treat u the same as before. if u don't tell him, he will be unaware of it (i think) and u'll just have that temptation until u fall for someone else.
the only advice i could possibly give you is... good luck but you might want to talk to someone close to you before you go any further.
Hmn. . . I think you should'nt tell him. . .
^/_\^
But hey, think first. If you will tell him, ask yourself. . . What could happen if you tell him...? WHat would be his reaction...? Most impt., how will you tell him.
-Don't mind me. Xry for not being too much of a help
ahaha! move it! hehehe,.. you won't get yourself an answer if you keep on wondering in the corner and not making your move...
If he's not gay then leave him alone, he doesn't need gay guys bothering him when he has his mind on women. Find out his stance on it, and if he's straight, then take a step back and find someone else. It's not like you have some sort of right to change someone's sexual preferences because your feelings towards them, thats unfair and manipulative. I suggest going to a gay camp to get reformed to heterosexual-ism, ASAP. Infact, I will get heterosexual porn and GIVE IT TO YOU so you get started. I await your answer.
merged: 02-23-2007 ~ 11:18pm
I read the first sentence, and thats all I needed. You'r damaged goods, the end. Boy love IS NOT FUCKING CUTE, YOU HEAR ME!? That is all.
First, being gay isn't a disease that can be cured by praying and reading the Bible..It's not a disease at all and shouldn't be treated as such. Just like have white skin or having black skin isn't a disease either...It's just the way you were born. In some cases, it can be influenced through environment but it's not "wrong" either way. And now that that's out of system....
Never feel guilty for who you are, first off. As for your friend...It could be infatuation, brotherly love, or you could actually be in love with him. Whatever the case, you need to take it slowly. You said in another post that you don't know how to tell your friends about your sexual preference but that you've told your best friend. I'm assuming from this that the rest of them don't know, either because you haven't told them or because they haven't noticed. Telling someone how you feel about them is a delicate situation -- they could feel the same and everything's cool or they don't have the same feelings and then it's awkard, sometimes never letting the friendship return to "normal." I'd definitely wait until you've told him that you're gay and see how he reacts to it. If he freaks out, of course, back off. If he's cool with it...Is he straight? Is he admittedly gay as well? Or is he still "unsure"?
Well imconfused never said whether what their sexual preference was, so its hard to judge. Just becuase you might have feeling for a guy does not necessairly mean you are gay. Some people are attracted to both sexes and some are hetrosexual but have strong no-sexual feeling towards members of the opposite sex.
i have no idea what his preference is
his never seemed to be interested in anyone or if he is he hides it well and dousent tell anyone
Hoe, that happened to one of my friends...Look, they were best friends, but only one was gay...and he knew that the other guy didn't feel attracted towards members of the same sex...But he really wanted to be with him, and both were suffering because they argued...So, finally he told him and now they are a happy couple in secret ^^...I think you should tell him...if you want, you could give him an insinuation, to know...
That's exactly what I think. =DD
Good Luck~