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Need Help, Social Problems

Love, Friends & Family

Minitokyo » Forum » Life & Lifestyle Fora » Love, Friends & Family  Need Help, Social Problems

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I need your help here, uh I'm not a very social person unless i get to know the person, so im usually just quiet -_-. Even when i met my friends i first met one than with him i became friends with people around him and so on. But I'm getting a job soon so I need to learn to be social somehow but i just don't know how. PLEASE HELP

Wow...... you kinda remind of me
Is there really a way to being more social?
I just try to be myself....... if people don't find me too interesting or....... funny or whatever
I just...... go along with it.....

Mmm....... I'm not helping at all! OX
Sorry....... so what kind of job is it?
Do you really need to be social?
Man that's going to be annoying...... because I have to be social too T_T when I get a job

well the job involves me talking to people. and i get nervous and the anxiety kicks in when i have to talk to someone. which is one of the reasons why i don't like being in big crowds.

it took me 7 years before I even spoke out in class, now I have jobs like lifeguarding and so on (service jobs).
what does it take to be social? work really, and time. I'm now 10 days away from graduating high school, and I've become significantly more social than I was even one or two years ago. Why? part of this is because I live in a dorm. If you are in a situation where you constantly have to interact with people then you will adapt and learn. no, it's not always a pleasant experience, but that's life for you :P
there is no quick way to become social, except for you to try your best every day. the more you work at it, the more willing you are to become social, and the more of a positive attitude you have about it, the faster you will become the social person you want to be.

I see........ I have a fear of people too.......
Just so insecure when I'm around with people......
Well I think I agree with HikutsuKyou over there
Guess you have to force yourself into a situation where you are socializing people......
After all, you don't know how something tastes until you try it

I'm exactly like that. I'm afraid to talk to people... But I, too, am getting a job. As a waitress... so this is going to be really hard... I'm afraid I'll drop their order.... But I guess you just kinda have to force yourself... I'm more afraid of the people i'll be working with...

dude you gotta get over it and just go for it. like they said force yourself to do social things and it will get easier. or you could go somewhere that you know you do not have to go back to to practice on random people............................hmmmmmmmm bn smells a road trip comin' on lol

pn agrees with bn.......road trip anyone? lol

The characterastic of one person is not easy to change..

I'm quiet,too :)

Since you can't express your self well, you can

do more on ACTION. for EXP:

Share a magazine with you accompany ; when a man want

to smoke, you can give him a fire...

ahaha im quiet too weird ALL quiet... sob (yeah)
well lol im kinda quiet too like i sed but im trying to change that too which is working, its just that i always think of wat to say before and wether itll be funny or worth saying i guess, but i guess its just like going in and trying to be involve and just tok like just tok lol, start with friends of your friends dont try too hard lol just simple tok. part of what keep sus quiet i fink is the image weve made and what image we see oursleves us lol so try to build a more outgoing image remember dont ry to be out spoken just like that, start with saying hi as you walk past some one u seem to be in good terms with maybe small tok with pplz like that while w8ing for the teacher to come to class or sumfin like that. well reason im trying to build up my social skills is to tok to a girl im interested in lol and ive never toked to so yeah kind hard for me but im going for it. also remember its not saying what you think is the best think to say or the right thing to say just put forward your opinion lol and try to elaborate at times but dont go on forever and REALX a cliche advice but yeah, thats y i sed tok to firend sof your friends or pplz your in good temrs with with small tok so its a more realxing environment and as u noe more pplz ur status in your skewl or wte shud grow as well as your confidence^^
hope my essay helped lol and dwz im a fighter of this too so keep fighting!^^

You can try initiating conversations on common topics or similar interests. This way you'll be able to open yourself. Other than that you can also try socializing by participating more in activities that certain clubs offer. This will help you work better with your team in the office. You can ask your friends to bring over other acquaintances and you can try getting along with them.

well i did it by makeing freinds with this one guy and he just threw me into the middle of a bunch of people and struk up a converation and left so i'm not that good at it ither

Hmm.. Usually this type of problem involves looking at your self-concept. How do you view yourself? Do you think of yourself as a lazy bum who knows nothing? Then your attitude will be something like, "Aww, I'm a lazy bum, who would want to talk to me?" Ever wonder why sociable people possess, to some degree, an aura of arrogance? That's called confidence. You have to see yourself as someone who people can talk to. That's the basic root of your problem. (Yay psychology! :D)

SAME problem I had a while back...just look at my thread-history. Says the SAME things...though I used to type with '...' after every word...because I was so skiddish. Still am...just not as much. Anyway...all I did was, I looked at what .hack's Ovan had to say:
"Get stronger. Consume all your happiness and sadness, and use that as your stepping stone."
You're all set.

hmmm. ok, first off, do you want to be quiet or is it that you can't bring yourself to talk? if it's the former then ok, i dunno, you gotta change the way you think or sth cos its gonna get you nowhere if u wanna be social and not talk at the same time. um. if its the latter then maybe you could talk about common topics or about certain stuffs like movies, shows with people... or get to know your friend's friends or sth... well basically you'll become social if you're willing to go up and say 'hi! what's your name?' etc and introduce yourself. at least that's how i did it..

Quote by mechanical-angelat least that's how i did it..


Hi, what's your name?

well mechanical-angel i liked (past tense) being quiet, i didn't really cared about other people, everything was so quiet, i didn't have to rely on anyone, and i was actually satisfied with that. But ever since i started hanging out with these people who eventually became my friends, i felt like i wanted that, right now i feel like i have to have friends or else i feel odd. In a way i kinda wish i could go back to how i used to be, but i know i can't anymore so my other option is to make more friends. and I'm happy with that.

to visis and ion: i'm vanessa and i love watching anime, reading manga and drawing, you? haha.

ok ok haha good for you then! cos once you've made that choice there's pretty much no turning back. (: glad to hear that you're satisfied with it.

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