So this is pretty much what happened (I know its a bit long ^^' I shortened it
up from the original post though). But before I say that, I'll say my Step-dad
was in the hospital before the gallbladder surgery, he just had a heart attack
about 2 weeks before, and it was a really really bad one.
May 14, 2007-
Today my Dad had to go into surgery to get his gallbladder removed. The doctors
believed thats what was causing his high fever and infections. By the time they
removed it, it was completely dead, not that the gallbladder is actually an
important organ.
May 15, 2007-
Today the doctors did an x-ray on him and discovered that there were infections
all over his body. He had blood, lung, urine infections, among many other
infections that had spread throughout his body. And to top it all off, he has
diabetes which doesn't make anything better.
~May 16, 2007~
Today my Aunt and Uncle came to our house in the morning. They told me he didn't
make it and had died a couple hours before.
He was only 50 years old, he wasn't even old enough to be a grandfather yet. He
wasn't even old enough to retire from his job, get a new and bigger house like
him and my mom wanted to, or to even see his daughter (who is graduating this
upcoming week), and even me, graduate from college. There were so many things I
never even got to say to him while he was alive, like call him dad for the first
time. I always imagined that I would call him that when he was really old and on
his deathbed, I figured it would be a nice last thing to hear from me. Well, I
did call him dad at the funeral, and I held his hand...it was so cold...I
remember visiting him the day before the operation and I finally held his hand
then too, something I hadn't done in very many years, but it was warm
then.
There are alot of things I regret...like fighting with him all the time. I guess
that saying is true, "You don't realize how precious something is until you
lose it." 'Cuz that's exactly true, don't take what you have for granted,
'cuz when its taken away from you it hurts more than anything in the world. It
hurts knowing that there were so many things I could have told him, so many
things that I wanted to prove to him that I could do, like becoming a successful
artist...its just not fair...he was so young...*sighs* he left behind alot of
people who love him and will miss him dearly.
So that's my story. I'm alot better now then I was before...but sometimes I'm in
a state of disbelief, I look at pictures of him and I think to myself "he's
not really dead is he?" Even though I know he is, I saw him at the funeral,
and I saw the vase that was given to us after he was cremated, so he really is
gone, but why do I keep thinking he isn't and this is just a really bad dream?
v__v
sorry to hear about that, but time will heal it, just like the one, i had last
year, my granny died and i was upset but as time fly pass, i soon recover, but
it depends on indivisuals
trust me, hes in your heart, i know it sounds corny but just remember him, his
name, and ya, some important days you had together, i'm not just saying this out
of random, i know how it feels, and like snow said, time will heal... well...
not all wounds, you might be scarred forever, but that doesn't mean the end of
the world, you have to stay strong ya know, think like," he would be so
proud of me " typa thing, i know how you feel cause my father and older
sister............... ya.... you get the idea =/ ( since i don't wanna go into
it ) umm bleh =( but ya.... you have to stay strong @_@
It happened something similar to me and i couldnt do pretty much things cause
all the thime i was thinking at him . ... but someday i just woke up and i
didint felt nothin at all .
I think this happens only to me ^__^ . time will pass. you`ll see yourself in
front of other things harder than this.
Well, I don't think you can really get over it, but as snowcutie stated, time
will heal your wounds. I lost my mother a while ago and I'm still not really
over, but I am a lot better than I was. I feel your pain but you know what? If
we all stay together, we can all get though whatever comes our way And I
don't mean just the people who have lost someone in thier life, but anyone who
is in pain and needs help.
That is just so sad
But you know you don't need to regret anything
Because you love him and he knows that
It's hard to let go, but you have to try it
Only let him go in the material world because he'll always be in your heart and
he'll always remember you.
If you feel sad, and you want to talk about anything, i would like to hear
you
I see you are a really gentle and sweet person, you're so amazing, i can even
imagine what is to loose someone that close, just remember I'm here for you
Honstly you never get over someone you loved. I guess that love you feal/feal
will never trueley go away and secretly you know you still love that person even
after the pain of whatever happened slightly goes away. you can move on past
that person but you'll always love them. well atleast i think that.....
I know how you feel. I went through the same thing in early 2006. My dad had a
stroke whilst he was riding a motorbike and he crashed it because he was
unconscious. The stroke was in the middle of the brain, so even if he had of
survived, he would have been a vegetable (he was too active to like this) and he
had another injury from his crash. No one else got hurt. He was 3 months away
from being 51 and didn't get to see me turn 19 in 2 months, or see my sister
graduate from high school or turn 16 or 18. One thing I keep thinking about, is
how hard it is going to be when me and my sister get married. We won't have a
dad to give us away, or have the dad/daughter dance at the reception.
I was very close to my dad, as I didn't really like my mum, she gave me a really
hard time because I was the oldest. It was supposed to affect all three of us
pretty badly, but after the ceremony, I vowed I wouldn't cry much anymore. And I
didn't cry at his burial. How I get through it, is to know that he would want me
to try my hardest and do what I want with the life left that he gave
me.
So just try you're best, like they say on the movies, they wouldn't want you to
grieve for the rest of your life and have nothing to show for it when its your
turn. I hope you the very best and do what you need to do. We all miss our loved
ones and we all cry every now and again, but we have to live for the day. I hope
that helped ^_^
I know how you feel...My dad and grandpa died both in less than 3 months
[december 2005 - march 2006]..My dad had some sort of attack [ not a heart
one..] ...at first i thought it was going to be ok..he was taken to the hospital
but it was to late for full recovery.. he paralyzed..[ he was in a coma when the
doctors operated him ].
Long story short: after he paralyzed he spent 3 months in the hospital..or
more..and a few home..the worst part is that during his hospitalization my
grandpa died..so imagine...3 months later..daddy died as well.. Somehow i knew
this would happen but i just wanted to isolate this thought and not believe
it.
Life sucks big time sometimes..especially if no one expected those kind of
events..
Time heals everything...or so they say..but there will be some wounds that never
heal..
You'll be ok..
And about the pictured..I couldn't believe myself in the first weeks..when
someone rung at the door i thought it was him coming from work..
It''s just not the same..and memories seem to fade..i look at a picture of him
and i think " why is he not here anymore?"
I've gone through so much until now that i'm used to this kind of events
:|
I lost my...friend when we were 13. Met her in a hospital when I was 12. Long
term patient. I just started talking to her and you know...The connection was
just there. Lost her in the middle of 2005. I try to forget her nowadays, but
when you're 15, other boys start talking about...things and I just remember her
again. Guess this is one instance where you try to forget somebody, but
somethings that you see, hear, or do everyday just keeps reminding you of that
person, eh?
First of all, I want to send my regards to you for your loss. I know how much it
can hurt. What I suggest won't get rid of the hurt that you'll feel. I am not
even sure anything will, but if you think how your step-father would want you to
carry on. He wouldn't want you to mourn forever. He would want you to lift your
head up, and carry on with life. He'll still be watching over you, so make him
proud. I'm sure you will.
Don't feel guilty about the fighting. You don't always get along with the people
you love. I don't always like certain people, but if they're important to me, I
make sure to tell them a lot along the way, just so that they always know deep
down how I truly feel about them, even though we may not be on the best terms.
ahhh.... =/ these ones are always hard to deal with ... well.. like all other
people say... he wouldnt want you to be sad.. be happy enjoy the rest of your
life looking forward.. sure mourn for the person.. but leave it at that... and
don't drag everything down the hole because of it.. he wouldn't want that to be
happening to you =) no no..
so... it is painful yes.... so mourn...... but think about things to make you
happy and do things to make you happy and look forward to the future and such...
Don't wallow in it. Get a hobby, an outlet, something you can take your
frustrations out on. Let time heal you, but whatever you do, don't ever forget
the pain you feel. Don't forget, because when you forget, it dulls the feeling
of being hurt. That may sound like a good idea right now, but the less we feel,
the less we are.
So this is pretty much what happened (I know its a bit long ^^' I shortened it up from the original post though). But before I say that, I'll say my Step-dad was in the hospital before the gallbladder surgery, he just had a heart attack about 2 weeks before, and it was a really really bad one.
May 14, 2007-
Today my Dad had to go into surgery to get his gallbladder removed. The doctors believed thats what was causing his high fever and infections. By the time they removed it, it was completely dead, not that the gallbladder is actually an important organ.
May 15, 2007-
Today the doctors did an x-ray on him and discovered that there were infections all over his body. He had blood, lung, urine infections, among many other infections that had spread throughout his body. And to top it all off, he has diabetes which doesn't make anything better.
~May 16, 2007~
Today my Aunt and Uncle came to our house in the morning. They told me he didn't make it and had died a couple hours before.
He was only 50 years old, he wasn't even old enough to be a grandfather yet. He wasn't even old enough to retire from his job, get a new and bigger house like him and my mom wanted to, or to even see his daughter (who is graduating this upcoming week), and even me, graduate from college. There were so many things I never even got to say to him while he was alive, like call him dad for the first time. I always imagined that I would call him that when he was really old and on his deathbed, I figured it would be a nice last thing to hear from me. Well, I did call him dad at the funeral, and I held his hand...it was so cold...I remember visiting him the day before the operation and I finally held his hand then too, something I hadn't done in very many years, but it was warm then.
There are alot of things I regret...like fighting with him all the time. I guess that saying is true, "You don't realize how precious something is until you lose it." 'Cuz that's exactly true, don't take what you have for granted, 'cuz when its taken away from you it hurts more than anything in the world. It hurts knowing that there were so many things I could have told him, so many things that I wanted to prove to him that I could do, like becoming a successful artist...its just not fair...he was so young...*sighs* he left behind alot of people who love him and will miss him dearly.
So that's my story. I'm alot better now then I was before...but sometimes I'm in a state of disbelief, I look at pictures of him and I think to myself "he's not really dead is he?" Even though I know he is, I saw him at the funeral, and I saw the vase that was given to us after he was cremated, so he really is gone, but why do I keep thinking he isn't and this is just a really bad dream? v__v
sorry to hear about that, but time will heal it, just like the one, i had last year, my granny died and i was upset but as time fly pass, i soon recover, but it depends on indivisuals
trust me, hes in your heart, i know it sounds corny but just remember him, his name, and ya, some important days you had together, i'm not just saying this out of random, i know how it feels, and like snow said, time will heal... well... not all wounds, you might be scarred forever, but that doesn't mean the end of the world, you have to stay strong ya know, think like," he would be so proud of me " typa thing, i know how you feel cause my father and older sister............... ya.... you get the idea =/ ( since i don't wanna go into it ) umm bleh =( but ya.... you have to stay strong @_@
By accepting the fact that they aren't coming back! Also not missing them but remembering them for all the joyous times spent together!
Well, the easiest way for me is to know that they don't have to suffer anymore, and that they've lived life fully.
It happened something similar to me and i couldnt do pretty much things cause all the thime i was thinking at him . ... but someday i just woke up and i didint felt nothin at all .
I think this happens only to me ^__^ . time will pass. you`ll see yourself in front of other things harder than this.
Well, I don't think you can really get over it, but as snowcutie stated, time will heal your wounds. I lost my mother a while ago and I'm still not really over, but I am a lot better than I was. I feel your pain but you know what? If we all stay together, we can all get though whatever comes our way
And I
don't mean just the people who have lost someone in thier life, but anyone who
is in pain and needs help.
That is just so sad
But you know you don't need to regret anything
Because you love him and he knows that
It's hard to let go, but you have to try it
Only let him go in the material world because he'll always be in your heart and he'll always remember you.
If you feel sad, and you want to talk about anything, i would like to hear you
I see you are a really gentle and sweet person, you're so amazing, i can even imagine what is to loose someone that close, just remember I'm here for you
Honstly you never get over someone you loved. I guess that love you feal/feal will never trueley go away and secretly you know you still love that person even after the pain of whatever happened slightly goes away. you can move on past that person but you'll always love them. well atleast i think that.....
I know how you feel. I went through the same thing in early 2006. My dad had a stroke whilst he was riding a motorbike and he crashed it because he was unconscious. The stroke was in the middle of the brain, so even if he had of survived, he would have been a vegetable (he was too active to like this) and he had another injury from his crash. No one else got hurt. He was 3 months away from being 51 and didn't get to see me turn 19 in 2 months, or see my sister graduate from high school or turn 16 or 18. One thing I keep thinking about, is how hard it is going to be when me and my sister get married. We won't have a dad to give us away, or have the dad/daughter dance at the reception.
I was very close to my dad, as I didn't really like my mum, she gave me a really hard time because I was the oldest. It was supposed to affect all three of us pretty badly, but after the ceremony, I vowed I wouldn't cry much anymore. And I didn't cry at his burial. How I get through it, is to know that he would want me to try my hardest and do what I want with the life left that he gave me.
So just try you're best, like they say on the movies, they wouldn't want you to grieve for the rest of your life and have nothing to show for it when its your turn. I hope you the very best and do what you need to do. We all miss our loved ones and we all cry every now and again, but we have to live for the day. I hope that helped ^_^
I know how you feel...My dad and grandpa died both in less than 3 months [december 2005 - march 2006]..My dad had some sort of attack [ not a heart one..] ...at first i thought it was going to be ok..he was taken to the hospital but it was to late for full recovery.. he paralyzed..[ he was in a coma when the doctors operated him ].
Long story short: after he paralyzed he spent 3 months in the hospital..or more..and a few home..the worst part is that during his hospitalization my grandpa died..so imagine...3 months later..daddy died as well.. Somehow i knew this would happen but i just wanted to isolate this thought and not believe it.
Life sucks big time sometimes..especially if no one expected those kind of events..
Time heals everything...or so they say..but there will be some wounds that never heal..
You'll be ok..
And about the pictured..I couldn't believe myself in the first weeks..when someone rung at the door i thought it was him coming from work..
It''s just not the same..and memories seem to fade..i look at a picture of him and i think " why is he not here anymore?"
I've gone through so much until now that i'm used to this kind of events :|
Life goes on after all...
gsdd
I lost my...friend when we were 13. Met her in a hospital when I was 12. Long term patient. I just started talking to her and you know...The connection was just there. Lost her in the middle of 2005. I try to forget her nowadays, but when you're 15, other boys start talking about...things and I just remember her again. Guess this is one instance where you try to forget somebody, but somethings that you see, hear, or do everyday just keeps reminding you of that person, eh?
First of all, I want to send my regards to you for your loss. I know how much it can hurt. What I suggest won't get rid of the hurt that you'll feel. I am not even sure anything will, but if you think how your step-father would want you to carry on. He wouldn't want you to mourn forever. He would want you to lift your head up, and carry on with life. He'll still be watching over you, so make him proud. I'm sure you will.
Don't feel guilty about the fighting. You don't always get along with the people you love. I don't always like certain people, but if they're important to me, I make sure to tell them a lot along the way, just so that they always know deep down how I truly feel about them, even though we may not be on the best terms.
ahhh.... =/ these ones are always hard to deal with ... well.. like all other people say... he wouldnt want you to be sad.. be happy enjoy the rest of your life looking forward.. sure mourn for the person.. but leave it at that... and don't drag everything down the hole because of it.. he wouldn't want that to be happening to you =) no no..
so... it is painful yes.... so mourn...... but think about things to make you happy and do things to make you happy and look forward to the future and such...
you can't do anything about it. just let gime heal any wound yuo might have.
Don't wallow in it. Get a hobby, an outlet, something you can take your frustrations out on. Let time heal you, but whatever you do, don't ever forget the pain you feel. Don't forget, because when you forget, it dulls the feeling of being hurt. That may sound like a good idea right now, but the less we feel, the less we are.