well, I think the question should be like "why is pride important to some
people?"
I just started to think about this since my professor in Accounting told me that
when he had a fight against his friend, his way of apologizing is to treat him a
dinner... maybe he wants to apologize without saying sorry.
I really don't understand...
I started to forget about my pride ever since I was in elementary, when I was
always bullied by my classmates way back then. I thought of that because I was
thinking (and still thinking) that I have no right to become proud of myself as
long as I have mistakes...
then I had this friend that said to me that I will not achieve anything if I
continue to think like this, to let my inferiority complex take over
me...
... I want to improve but I'm still afraid to take that step...
mmm....well what am i to say ^///^ i think i'm actually a rather proud person,
mmm ok a really proud person but to explain there are many kinds of pride, mine
would be pride in myself, my abilities, my achievements and so on (this way i
don't need others to cheer for me or acknowledge my talents. thank you very much
but i do that myself :P though it means loads and loads to me when someone says
they're proud of me...moves me to tears.)
when you're talking about pride in oneself, how come you have no right? if you
do one amazing thing, or achieve one great thing...you can't be proud cuz you
also did one mistake? so in other words we could easily say they're canceling
out, which in my opinion is a bit odd. humans will never gain perfection, but
there are those who come close enough, the first is a man you probably might not
know though he's pretty famous (not saying you're ignorant but this is
complicated), the second is my bf ^/////^ but just cuz you're flawed (which btw
is always the case, like i said no man can attain perfection) doesn't mean you
can't be proud of that times you were able to do something extraordinary. but
that's coming from a person who takes great pride in her achievements, so if
you're looking for modest advice, it's not going to come from me
well about being bullied, there are perhaps two reactions then, you were bullied
so you're not proud, but every time i was bullied my pride in myself would
increase another notch. hehehe wanna know something funny? when my father scolds
me or so on, esp if it's for unfair reasons or for something i didn't do, i get
this look and stance that mother says is a very proud one, something i like to
call 'a victim with pride' and heheh sooo many times i got in trouble for that!
though truly it's a natural reaction, not impolite but it gives a sense of pride
that pisses my parents off :P
haha my dad's way of apologizing is treating to dinner and taking out for ice
cream or watching a movie together but
that taught me something, it's that thoughts count. you can't expect people to
treat you the way you want them to, but just as long as the thought is
there...then it's enough. don't you think he swallowed just a lil of his pride
when he called 'hey Sara, come see this movie is great!' even though he and i
probably watched it before and i hate that actor...and in the end he complains
it was the most boring thing ever!?! but
see, he tried his best, even if this is probably not good enough, it was his
best and for that you should be grateful...then again, it's better than no
apology ^^
as for me, i'm proud of myself, it has nothing to do with feeling superior. if i
did something wrong, i'm proud i can apologize and atone for my mistake. though
to be honest.....i cry while apologizing but
that's cuz i feel bad and sad that i did something to put myself in that
position :P ^///////^"
why is pride important..... hmmm....
to me, being proud of myself was my sanity....at least during my early
life...
to others ....well i guess everyone has his reasons.
as for taking that step.... *cheers* do your best ^^
Pride keeps a person the same, because they like how they are. They think they
are good enough. (maybe they are)
When you're humble, you are not happy with how you are, and you will change.
Being sorry is a display of this humbleness.
So in this case, it's good to be humble so that a person will realize that they
need to change.
Pride isn't important, it's just that they believe that they don't need to
change, and (as lionheart said) they won't accept that they're not perfect. They
won't say sorry as long as they're proud.
I abandoned my pride back when I was in middle school. It occurred to me that
there are many truths to this world, one of which being that no matter what you
do, odds are good that there is someone out there just as good as you, if not
better.
Plus, in this day and age, people tend to have some pretty averse reactions to
pride when other people display it. Some people turn into groupies, following
the prideful in every manner possible. At the same time, others become envious,
spiteful, even aggressive towards the prideful; they see pride as flaunting what
they themselves don't have.
...as far as the opening question goes, saying sorry is kind of another way of
saying 'just kidding', only in a more regretful tone. The problem there is that
while you are showing regret, it still doesn't erase your actions/tones,
malicious or otherwise. The most damaging part being that these actions would
have never been made if there wasn't any truth to the meaning behind them.
Apologizing is easy, however meaning it, or more importantly accepting it, is
damn near difficult.
Well, depending on the situation, your credibility could be in jeopardy. And
depending on the slighted person, he or she might hold it against you forever
and/or at the very least remind you of how you screwed up. It's just annoying,
when people can't get over things like that.
I really agree with what GS said about saying "sorry"... I always say
sorry but the thing is... I don't know if others think that I'm really sincere
in saying sorry... but I really am..
I have a really hard time apologizing to people outright, but I don't think it's
because I'm proud, if that sounds weird. It's more or less because the moment
after apologizing feels awkward to me, and I'm not really sure how to explain it
other than that. If I could say I'm sorry and that would be the end of it I
don't think it would be so bad, but my family likes to get teary over it and...
well, that makes me feel awkward, even though they are accepting it.
I think some people don't like to say sorry because so many people say it and
throw it around without truly being sorry at all. Sometimes it feels a little
more genuine for them to show how they feel with actions, I guess.
merged: 11-19-2007 ~ 10:32am
And I have to say, I agree with Lionhearted911, it's really the thought that
counts.
Lemme see...
people will seldom see me saying sorry for them... actually sorry is the most
hardest word for me 2 sae ==;
since like.. i wanted to sae sorry from deep down in my heart n not saying it
for the sake of saying... like u kno... sometimes u hear ppl say sorry in a rude
manner for example.. " sorry lorrrrrr "
yea... that u might get dumbstruck or sumthin when hearing it ==;
but yea.. but i always sae sorry while crying.. ==; dunno why... maybe im
thinking inside my heart wat a horrible thing i had done?
sometimes.. i sae sorry by actions also.. ==; since saying is hard..
Well, for me...saying sorry is not really a problem...
I automatically apologize even if it was not me the one who stepped on my
friend's shoes...^u^
But well, if I have to apologize to the person I don't really like, it will be
harder...but I always get it over with...
In elementary school I was kind' a self-conscious girl so I guess I always
forget about my pride too...lol
But well, if I can't apologize by saying it, I can always show it like buying
presents...^.^ Or giving them cards...^^,
saying sorry means admitting that you are wrong. in some situations, people
often find it hard to accept that they made a mistake. sometimes it's because
they feel strongly for it, other times it's because they can't understand why is
it known to others as a 'mistake'.
to me, it takes a lot to admit their mistakes. too much pride, or too much
cowardice? that i really cannot differentiate. sometimes apologizing seems like
opening yourself up, risking the chance of having people taking a stab at you
for making mistakes. (some people might find sincere apologies as a ruse, or a
sign of weakness, thus causing them to 'take advantage of the
situation')
and btw. you shouldnt be proud because you don't make mistakes, because people
cant improve that way. you should be proud that you're aware of your own
mistakes, and are not afraid to admit it. ^^
saying it sincerely or not...its better than trying to gey away with it without
saying it...
for me...you don't say sorry...apology not accepted...whatever form the
"apology" might be in...
Hmm....In most cases the word sorry is actually pointless, you cant hurt someone
feelings by "accident" and then say you are sorry...true it might make
the other person feel more comfortable and you can say sorry with such
ease...But do you really mean it?
And I agree with Lionhearted...But even though you already hurt the person in
some way...so *shrugs* sorry is not enough to make it up.
It's worse when they apologize and don't mean it just to keep the person happy.
If they really mean it they won't just say "I'm sorry", they'll try
and repent for what they did. It might do more with their ego than with pride.
Some people don't like admitting they are wrong so their ego gets in the way
when they make mistakes. It's human nature so there's no use in trying to figure
out why it is the way it is.
That's a good question...I face the other person if I really feel bad for
whatever I had done to that person.I say sorry and try to make it up with a
little present.But people can see if someone means it or not and yeah...I rather
don't want to hear anything from that person if he doesn't mean it,I hate it
when people say things they don't mean.
well... some people are very egotistic to say sorry... maybe they think they
didnt do wrong...
when i was young i did a lot of thing wrong and i never said sorry, and if i did
i didnt mean to apologize...
right now i feel that my heart aches when i did something bad or wrong and i
dont apologize... sometimes i dont say sorry for shame, or becuz they'll think
i'm weak... or maybe becuz i wont feel comfortable saying it... i dont know,
each person has their own motive to not say sorry.
Saying sorry can be difficult for many reasons. One reason is that saying sorry
can be seen as admitting to being at fault. Giving ground is usually frowned
upon, and saying sorry can be seen as a way of giving ground instead of standing
your ground. I think being the first to say sorry can sometimes be a positive
rather than negative thing because then it will help prevent the disagreement
from lasting for longer than it should.
Another reason why it is hard to say sorry is because no one likes to admit to
being wrong. ^_~ Some people are more stubborn about this than others.
One other reason why sorry is hard to say is because when you say sorry, you are
putting yourself in a vunerable situation. You are offering an olive branch of
peace, but the other person may not accept it. You do not know if saying sorry
will have the desired effect, so it can be hard to say.
~.~ Why am I the opposite?Anyway,I guess people tend to have pride when they
feel that they are better than the other or because that they still feel that
they are right or maybe they are just embarrassed,it's hard to say sorry when
you just fought with the person and that person readily forgive you even before
you say sorry..I am the opposite..but I don't think I don't have pride,it's just
became my trademark..my friends even call me Ritsu(Fruits Basket)..>.<
heheh well there are positive and negative aspects to everything...
Quote by monocledsardineI always
used to feel inferior to my brother.
wanna know something interesting? when we were younger i used to feel inferior
to my sister. she had great talent, especially in art and so on, so she always
drew these lovely drawings and designed models wearing such lovely
dresses....and my parents were all 'wooow' to everything she did. that was where
my pride stepped in and i refused to feel inferior...and i worked hard. worked
hard to be recognized as someone impressive too! perhaps a lil jealousy was
involved but it wasn't that i envied her, i was happy for her, but at the same
time i REFUSE to feel inferior, i refuse to be not good enough too! so i work
and work and practice and practice...and i draw now! just as good as she does,
or at least good enough for me to be pleased and satisfied.
there are always people better than you, but in my opinion it's unwise to just
look at those better than you....you never know, sometimes others are looking at
you thinking you're better than them...so what i do is instead of sitting and
thinking 'damn that guy for being better than me' i think of what i'm able to do
and achieve, i satisfy myself, when i feel satisfied that i am working hard
enough, or good enough, then i think i'm betterthe way i am. you don't have to
be better than others, in fact i think you should remember there are people
worse of. in my opinion, you should be happy with who you are, as long as you're
doing good and satisfy yourself!
and it's not always the case that proud people never change, that's not true. my
father is such a proud man, but he changes. when he sees he really should change
then he does so. he never tells you he changed, he tries to pretend he didn't,
but he did and we can all see it. i think everyone deep down wants to belong,
proud or not, to belong, a person would change his ways. to be accepted a person
would change, but why do you have to bow your head while changing when you can
change with your stance saying 'i know i'm making a difference, i know i'm
working hard, i acknowledge my talents and work to better them, i'm not inferior
to anyone.'
that's my mentality...i'm not perfect, but hell if i don't know my own worth.
there's a difference between letting people step on you cuz you're kind, and
letting them do so cuz they're the superior ones. to me, God is the only one
superior above everything else, all the rest of the world is a challenge and i
have no plans of being cast into the darkness. you've got a brain and a body,
make it so you hold yourself in high regards. it doesn't come for free, to be
proud, you need reasons. talent, achievements, abilities all that require
effort. pride in yourself would be the fruits of the effort.
why can't you be happy with who you are? it's you, as long as you're satisfied
with yourself....as long as you're doing your best....doing good and being as
fair as you can...why do you have to change for others? besides i think the
terms pride and humility are abused. being humble is one thing, but hating
yourself and always seeing the need to change is another thing on another level.
frankly, i'd rather be proud.
You were a bully. You recognized you have an inferiority complex.
Wow. My respects, and congratullations. NOT EVERYBODY DOES THAT. Cheer up! that
demostrates you're sensible and that you want to change.
I think THE SECOND, AND HARDEST STEP FOR YOU is this:
EXORCISE FROM YOUR MIND ALL THOSE THOUGTS THAT TELL YOU YOU'RE
INFERIOR.
I have that problem.
Don't tell yourself you're a idiot, or that your peers are superior to you. YOU
HAVE TO GIVE AN APLAUSSE TO YOURSELF EVERYDAY, and try to have positive thougths
about yourself.
It´s hard. Slowly. Painfull. But I'm sure you'll change for better
in mind, spirit and body.
Talk with someone next to you. See if you could get help from a group.
I guess you should try to be a little proud of yourself.
Just a little is a step...
Feeling little...mistakes...
They're part of life
It is something important. Without it, Dude, you're weird!
What's teh point of aiming for perfection or trying to not make mistakes if
these things are a part of our everyday lives? Let's face it, we can't be
perfect.
We are just people. Everyone is good at something. Though, not teh best, we are
still good at something.
Let's aim for "avoiding mistakes" than "not making
mistakes", okay?
We have the same problem. The only difference is- mine is Jealousy
Saying sorry or making amends does take a certain amount of humility to set into
motion, and not everyone is willing to sacrifice the amount of pride required to
do so.
Pride can be a good thing -- it does give you the strength to believe in
yourself and perservere, after all -- but humility is just as important. Keeping
a balance between the two is basically what makes you a better person overall.
Yeah I do agree with it being pride. But alos some may not want to admit they
made a mistake or did something wrong. But i do say iam sorry myself becuase I
like to take responibilty for what I may have done wrong.
I think it just has to do with self-esteem. That with the ingredient of having a
hard time to accept criticism. I myself, if I KNOW I am in the wrong, I will
make the proper amends and apologize. However, if I do not see that I am wrong,
I don't see why I should immediately surrender and apologize. Let there be
reason for being in the wrong, and I will submit to my mistake. If not, I don't
see why I should. But that doesn't mean however, that I don't stand open to the
possibility of me being wrong in that situation. One should always stand open to
all possibilities, IMO.
If you are willin' to admit to a mistake, then your are the bigger person, IMO.
Well, anyone who admits is the better person...for that's how you improve. Make
mistakes, and move on. This is where I think it's a combo of self esteem and
pride, more on the pride side than anything, I do believe.
When that comes into play, pride that is or a mistake. They are in denial that
something is wrong, and how they can possibly done it, or the alike. Kinda like
the age olf sayin' of, "Half of the world is tryin' to be the other
half."
well, I think the question should be like "why is pride important to some people?"
I just started to think about this since my professor in Accounting told me that when he had a fight against his friend, his way of apologizing is to treat him a dinner... maybe he wants to apologize without saying sorry.
I really don't understand...
I started to forget about my pride ever since I was in elementary, when I was always bullied by my classmates way back then. I thought of that because I was thinking (and still thinking) that I have no right to become proud of myself as long as I have mistakes...
then I had this friend that said to me that I will not achieve anything if I continue to think like this, to let my inferiority complex take over me...
... I want to improve but I'm still afraid to take that step...
mmm....well what am i to say ^///^ i think i'm actually a rather proud person, mmm ok a really proud person but to explain there are many kinds of pride, mine would be pride in myself, my abilities, my achievements and so on (this way i don't need others to cheer for me or acknowledge my talents. thank you very much but i do that myself :P though it means loads and loads to me when someone says they're proud of me...moves me to tears.)
when you're talking about pride in oneself, how come you have no right? if you do one amazing thing, or achieve one great thing...you can't be proud cuz you also did one mistake? so in other words we could easily say they're canceling out, which in my opinion is a bit odd. humans will never gain perfection, but there are those who come close enough, the first is a man you probably might not know though he's pretty famous (not saying you're ignorant but this is complicated), the second is my bf ^/////^ but just cuz you're flawed (which btw is always the case, like i said no man can attain perfection) doesn't mean you can't be proud of that times you were able to do something extraordinary. but that's coming from a person who takes great pride in her achievements, so if you're looking for modest advice, it's not going to come from me
well about being bullied, there are perhaps two reactions then, you were bullied so you're not proud, but every time i was bullied my pride in myself would increase another notch. hehehe wanna know something funny? when my father scolds me or so on, esp if it's for unfair reasons or for something i didn't do, i get this look and stance that mother says is a very proud one, something i like to call 'a victim with pride' and heheh sooo many times i got in trouble for that! though truly it's a natural reaction, not impolite but it gives a sense of pride that pisses my parents off :P
haha my dad's way of apologizing is treating to dinner and taking out for ice cream or watching a movie together
but
that taught me something, it's that thoughts count. you can't expect people to
treat you the way you want them to, but just as long as the thought is
there...then it's enough. don't you think he swallowed just a lil of his pride
when he called 'hey Sara, come see this movie is great!' even though he and i
probably watched it before and i hate that actor...and in the end he complains
it was the most boring thing ever!?! 
but
see, he tried his best, even if this is probably not good enough, it was his
best and for that you should be grateful...then again, it's better than no
apology ^^
as for me, i'm proud of myself, it has nothing to do with feeling superior. if i did something wrong, i'm proud i can apologize and atone for my mistake. though to be honest.....i cry while apologizing
but
that's cuz i feel bad and sad that i did something to put myself in that
position :P ^///////^"
why is pride important..... hmmm....
to me, being proud of myself was my sanity....at least during my early life...
to others ....well i guess everyone has his reasons.
as for taking that step.... *cheers* do your best ^^
I always used to feel inferior to my brother.
It made me sad, but I used it to grow.
Pride keeps a person the same, because they like how they are. They think they are good enough. (maybe they are)
When you're humble, you are not happy with how you are, and you will change. Being sorry is a display of this humbleness.
So in this case, it's good to be humble so that a person will realize that they need to change.
Pride isn't important, it's just that they believe that they don't need to change, and (as lionheart said) they won't accept that they're not perfect. They won't say sorry as long as they're proud.
I abandoned my pride back when I was in middle school. It occurred to me that there are many truths to this world, one of which being that no matter what you do, odds are good that there is someone out there just as good as you, if not better.
Plus, in this day and age, people tend to have some pretty averse reactions to pride when other people display it. Some people turn into groupies, following the prideful in every manner possible. At the same time, others become envious, spiteful, even aggressive towards the prideful; they see pride as flaunting what they themselves don't have.
...as far as the opening question goes, saying sorry is kind of another way of saying 'just kidding', only in a more regretful tone. The problem there is that while you are showing regret, it still doesn't erase your actions/tones, malicious or otherwise. The most damaging part being that these actions would have never been made if there wasn't any truth to the meaning behind them.
Apologizing is easy, however meaning it, or more importantly accepting it, is damn near difficult.
Well, depending on the situation, your credibility could be in jeopardy. And depending on the slighted person, he or she might hold it against you forever and/or at the very least remind you of how you screwed up. It's just annoying, when people can't get over things like that.
I really agree with what GS said about saying "sorry"... I always say sorry but the thing is... I don't know if others think that I'm really sincere in saying sorry... but I really am..
I have a really hard time apologizing to people outright, but I don't think it's because I'm proud, if that sounds weird. It's more or less because the moment after apologizing feels awkward to me, and I'm not really sure how to explain it other than that. If I could say I'm sorry and that would be the end of it I don't think it would be so bad, but my family likes to get teary over it and... well, that makes me feel awkward, even though they are accepting it.
I think some people don't like to say sorry because so many people say it and throw it around without truly being sorry at all. Sometimes it feels a little more genuine for them to show how they feel with actions, I guess.
merged: 11-19-2007 ~ 10:32am
And I have to say, I agree with Lionhearted911, it's really the thought that counts.
Lemme see...
people will seldom see me saying sorry for them... actually sorry is the most hardest word for me 2 sae ==;
since like.. i wanted to sae sorry from deep down in my heart n not saying it for the sake of saying... like u kno... sometimes u hear ppl say sorry in a rude manner for example.. " sorry lorrrrrr "
yea... that u might get dumbstruck or sumthin when hearing it ==;
but yea.. but i always sae sorry while crying.. ==; dunno why... maybe im thinking inside my heart wat a horrible thing i had done?
sometimes.. i sae sorry by actions also.. ==; since saying is hard..
Well, for me...saying sorry is not really a problem...
I automatically apologize even if it was not me the one who stepped on my friend's shoes...^u^
But well, if I have to apologize to the person I don't really like, it will be harder...but I always get it over with...
In elementary school I was kind' a self-conscious girl so I guess I always forget about my pride too...lol
But well, if I can't apologize by saying it, I can always show it like buying presents...^.^ Or giving them cards...^^,
saying sorry means admitting that you are wrong. in some situations, people often find it hard to accept that they made a mistake. sometimes it's because they feel strongly for it, other times it's because they can't understand why is it known to others as a 'mistake'.
to me, it takes a lot to admit their mistakes. too much pride, or too much cowardice? that i really cannot differentiate. sometimes apologizing seems like opening yourself up, risking the chance of having people taking a stab at you for making mistakes. (some people might find sincere apologies as a ruse, or a sign of weakness, thus causing them to 'take advantage of the situation')
and btw. you shouldnt be proud because you don't make mistakes, because people cant improve that way. you should be proud that you're aware of your own mistakes, and are not afraid to admit it. ^^
[this is just my opinion
]
saying it sincerely or not...its better than trying to gey away with it without saying it...
for me...you don't say sorry...apology not accepted...whatever form the "apology" might be in...
Hmm....In most cases the word sorry is actually pointless, you cant hurt someone feelings by "accident" and then say you are sorry...true it might make the other person feel more comfortable and you can say sorry with such ease...But do you really mean it?
And I agree with Lionhearted...But even though you already hurt the person in some way...so *shrugs* sorry is not enough to make it up.
It's worse when they apologize and don't mean it just to keep the person happy. If they really mean it they won't just say "I'm sorry", they'll try and repent for what they did. It might do more with their ego than with pride. Some people don't like admitting they are wrong so their ego gets in the way when they make mistakes. It's human nature so there's no use in trying to figure out why it is the way it is.
That's a good question...I face the other person if I really feel bad for whatever I had done to that person.I say sorry and try to make it up with a little present.But people can see if someone means it or not and yeah...I rather don't want to hear anything from that person if he doesn't mean it,I hate it when people say things they don't mean.
well... some people are very egotistic to say sorry... maybe they think they didnt do wrong...
when i was young i did a lot of thing wrong and i never said sorry, and if i did i didnt mean to apologize...
right now i feel that my heart aches when i did something bad or wrong and i dont apologize... sometimes i dont say sorry for shame, or becuz they'll think i'm weak... or maybe becuz i wont feel comfortable saying it... i dont know, each person has their own motive to not say sorry.
Saying sorry can be difficult for many reasons. One reason is that saying sorry can be seen as admitting to being at fault. Giving ground is usually frowned upon, and saying sorry can be seen as a way of giving ground instead of standing your ground. I think being the first to say sorry can sometimes be a positive rather than negative thing because then it will help prevent the disagreement from lasting for longer than it should.
Another reason why it is hard to say sorry is because no one likes to admit to being wrong. ^_~ Some people are more stubborn about this than others.
One other reason why sorry is hard to say is because when you say sorry, you are putting yourself in a vunerable situation. You are offering an olive branch of peace, but the other person may not accept it. You do not know if saying sorry will have the desired effect, so it can be hard to say.
~.~ Why am I the opposite?Anyway,I guess people tend to have pride when they feel that they are better than the other or because that they still feel that they are right or maybe they are just embarrassed,it's hard to say sorry when you just fought with the person and that person readily forgive you even before you say sorry..I am the opposite..but I don't think I don't have pride,it's just became my trademark..my friends even call me Ritsu(Fruits Basket)..>.<
heheh well there are positive and negative aspects to everything...
wanna know something interesting? when we were younger i used to feel inferior to my sister. she had great talent, especially in art and so on, so she always drew these lovely drawings and designed models wearing such lovely dresses....and my parents were all 'wooow' to everything she did. that was where my pride stepped in and i refused to feel inferior...and i worked hard. worked hard to be recognized as someone impressive too! perhaps a lil jealousy was involved but it wasn't that i envied her, i was happy for her, but at the same time i REFUSE to feel inferior, i refuse to be not good enough too! so i work and work and practice and practice...and i draw now! just as good as she does, or at least good enough for me to be pleased and satisfied.
there are always people better than you, but in my opinion it's unwise to just look at those better than you....you never know, sometimes others are looking at you thinking you're better than them...so what i do is instead of sitting and thinking 'damn that guy for being better than me' i think of what i'm able to do and achieve, i satisfy myself, when i feel satisfied that i am working hard enough, or good enough, then i think i'm betterthe way i am. you don't have to be better than others, in fact i think you should remember there are people worse of. in my opinion, you should be happy with who you are, as long as you're doing good and satisfy yourself!
and it's not always the case that proud people never change, that's not true. my father is such a proud man, but he changes. when he sees he really should change then he does so. he never tells you he changed, he tries to pretend he didn't, but he did and we can all see it. i think everyone deep down wants to belong, proud or not, to belong, a person would change his ways. to be accepted a person would change, but why do you have to bow your head while changing when you can change with your stance saying 'i know i'm making a difference, i know i'm working hard, i acknowledge my talents and work to better them, i'm not inferior to anyone.'
that's my mentality...i'm not perfect, but hell if i don't know my own worth. there's a difference between letting people step on you cuz you're kind, and letting them do so cuz they're the superior ones. to me, God is the only one superior above everything else, all the rest of the world is a challenge and i have no plans of being cast into the darkness. you've got a brain and a body, make it so you hold yourself in high regards. it doesn't come for free, to be proud, you need reasons. talent, achievements, abilities all that require effort. pride in yourself would be the fruits of the effort.
why can't you be happy with who you are? it's you, as long as you're satisfied with yourself....as long as you're doing your best....doing good and being as fair as you can...why do you have to change for others? besides i think the terms pride and humility are abused. being humble is one thing, but hating yourself and always seeing the need to change is another thing on another level. frankly, i'd rather be proud.
You already took a FIRST AND DIFFICULT STEP:
You were a bully. You recognized you have an inferiority complex.
Wow. My respects, and congratullations. NOT EVERYBODY DOES THAT. Cheer up! that demostrates you're sensible and that you want to change.
I think THE SECOND, AND HARDEST STEP FOR YOU is this:
EXORCISE FROM YOUR MIND ALL THOSE THOUGTS THAT TELL YOU YOU'RE INFERIOR.
I have that problem.
Don't tell yourself you're a idiot, or that your peers are superior to you. YOU HAVE TO GIVE AN APLAUSSE TO YOURSELF EVERYDAY, and try to have positive thougths about yourself.
It´s hard. Slowly. Painfull. But I'm sure you'll change for better in mind, spirit and body.
Talk with someone next to you. See if you could get help from a group.
Go on.
I guess you should try to be a little proud of yourself.
Just a little is a step...
Feeling little...mistakes...
They're part of life
It is something important. Without it, Dude, you're weird!
What's teh point of aiming for perfection or trying to not make mistakes if these things are a part of our everyday lives? Let's face it, we can't be perfect.
We are just people. Everyone is good at something. Though, not teh best, we are still good at something.
Let's aim for "avoiding mistakes" than "not making mistakes", okay?
We have the same problem. The only difference is- mine is Jealousy
Saying sorry or making amends does take a certain amount of humility to set into motion, and not everyone is willing to sacrifice the amount of pride required to do so.
Pride can be a good thing -- it does give you the strength to believe in yourself and perservere, after all -- but humility is just as important. Keeping a balance between the two is basically what makes you a better person overall.
Yeah I do agree with it being pride. But alos some may not want to admit they made a mistake or did something wrong. But i do say iam sorry myself becuase I like to take responibilty for what I may have done wrong.
I think it just has to do with self-esteem. That with the ingredient of having a hard time to accept criticism. I myself, if I KNOW I am in the wrong, I will make the proper amends and apologize. However, if I do not see that I am wrong, I don't see why I should immediately surrender and apologize. Let there be reason for being in the wrong, and I will submit to my mistake. If not, I don't see why I should. But that doesn't mean however, that I don't stand open to the possibility of me being wrong in that situation. One should always stand open to all possibilities, IMO.
Tsuji,
Cause people suck.
Kidding.
If you are willin' to admit to a mistake, then your are the bigger person, IMO. Well, anyone who admits is the better person...for that's how you improve. Make mistakes, and move on. This is where I think it's a combo of self esteem and pride, more on the pride side than anything, I do believe.
When that comes into play, pride that is or a mistake. They are in denial that something is wrong, and how they can possibly done it, or the alike. Kinda like the age olf sayin' of, "Half of the world is tryin' to be the other half."
Tootles,
Ali