This evening, while attending a class for school, I was touched by our God in a
way that I have never before realized. I, an atheist, have opted to finally turn
away from heretical ways and have given myself over entirely to our
God.
What brought about this magnificent transformation? Surely such a great
alteration in one's way of thinking must be grand, indeed! For this reason, I
wish to share with all of you the cause of my glorious transformation!
In school, I am currently in my final year of a computer science degree. All of
the courses are difficult, at best, and maddening, at worst, and I am,
unfortunately, attending four of these very difficult classes during this
semester.
This has, unfortunately, left me with precious little time to spare. Things have
to be cut out of my daily life to ensure that I am able to adequately study for
these courses, but unfortunately, it is not always enough. Sadly, there are also
times when I must sacrifice the time needed to study in one class to give myself
time in another class.
This is how tonight's class has been going: I have been sacrificing the time
normally used to study for it for another class, as this course has been
relatively easy so far, while the other has been quite difficult.
Unfortunately, that came back to haunt me tonight, when the professor presented
the class with a surprise test. It was a 200 point test, and the total points
for the course were being increased from 1450 to 1650, to accommodate for the
surprise test. This was, needless to say, not a test I could afford to do poorly
on, being just over 12% of the final grade.
But, as I've said, I had not studied very much for this course, thinking it
would continue to be easy.
I was beginning to panic. I read over the test before ever beginning to answer
the questions (sometimes, a question is asked more than once, but in different
ways that can offer insights into the correct answer). By the time I had
finished reading through the test, panic had fully set in.
I could not afford to do poorly, but I could afford even less to cheat, so I did
not try.
Instead, I steeled my resolve and began working on the test as best I was
able.
After the first few questions, my stomach began to act up. It was not a
nauseated or sick acting-up, but a "too much gas and air is built up"
acting-up. I attempted to ignore it, hoping it would go away, but after a few
moments, I permitted myself a quite burp.
The taste of my dinner that evening came flooding back to me: the thick taste of
well-baked spaghetti, a thick meat sauce, garlic, and meatballs.
I thought to myself, odd, how I would have a meal such as spaghetti and
meatballs, my favorite meal and a wonderful start to any evening, on the evening
of such a terrible surprise, and thought, "this cannot be
coincidence!" I attempted to ignore the proverbial "writing on the
wall" but my mind could not get away from it.
Such an evening, ruined by a terrible test!
But The Signs were there! I didn't want
them to be, but they were!
Quietly, I closed my eyes and splayed my fingers, hoping to imitate His Noodly
Appendage, and said to myself:
"Great Flying Spaghetti Monster, You have given me such a wonderful meal
this evening, my favorite, no less, as a wondrous start to the evening, but this
test will be the end of my career at this school! I understand, though, You are
simply seeking my heart and mind, giving me this meal and following it with this
test as a test of Your own, a test of my faith that I may come to You!
"Oh Joyful Flying Spaghetti Monster, I give myself wholly to You, asking
only for peace and knowledge, that I may finish this test, and this year,
successfully!
"In Your name, Wondrous Flying Spaghetti Monster, I pray,
RAmen!"
I know from my time as an atheist, researching religion to strike down the fools
and infidels with their own tools, that gods did not appreciate being asked for
something without an offering in return, so I quickly followed my request with a
second prayer:
"Oh Mighty Flying Spaghetti Monster, there are no midgets in this class,
but I wish to thank You for those who are shorter than I, for they are closer to
Your Chosen People than I! I can only wish I were born so short!
Thank You, Beautiful Flying Spaghetti Monster, for Your Chosen People!
RAmen!"
No sooner had the final "n" sound fallen from my lips, than a wave of
blissful peace washed over me! I understood, then! The test in this class, meant
nothing, nor did any event of my life, so long as I held His Greatness to be my
Lord and God!
Even so, He did no abandon me: I looked down again at the test I had been so
terrified over, and saw therein was a pattern in the 50 multiple choice
questions, following a well-known formula, and that the answer to numerous other
questions within the test that were essay were contained within those multiple
choice questions, and that the programming work could then be based off of those
essays.
He graced me with His Noodly Appendage tonight, and for this, I feel I have done
very well on this test, and with His help, I know I will be able to handle not only the test, but the class, and
the year, and all troubles thrown against me, without fear!
Thanks Be to His Noodly Appendage!
Go and Eat, RAmen!
Doesn't this post exist just to piss people off? I've seen a lot of your posts
before and they are obvious in telling us that you are atheist. But usually they
at least have something to do with the subject at hand and add to the
conversation. This seems like all you are trying to do is rile people up with no
real end game in sight.
How so? How is this any different than a person who came into, say, Islam, or
Catholicism, or Christianity, or Buddhism? I created it to try and create a bit
of discussion, most of which is on this very topic: what is so
different?
How does changing something from being a great god in the sky who loves the
Jewish people to a plate of spaghetti who loves dwarfs change anything? As well,
how does saying, "I talk with god" differ from "I talk with god
through a hairdryer"? People would laud the first person, but scoff at the
second, even though, for all practical purposes, they are saying the exact same
thing.
The addition of a hairdryer and the changing of a name do not make something
less believable.
*fights to prevent himself from going on a massive lecture about tea*
If I truly did have a religion, that religion would be tea.
I can talk about it for hours on end, without repeating anything at
all.
I find it quite humorous that you mention taping my mouth shut so I can't talk
about tea (even if you referred to the Teapot). Perhaps His Noodly Appendage has
touched you, granting you transdentoptical vision!
Hooray! And Praised Be His Noodly Appendage! RAmen!
Are you serious with this thread? Honestly if you want to strike up a
conversation with other members do it in either a PM or in thread that isn't
such a joke. If your trying to start up serious discussion this is most
definitely not the right course of action. This is just opening up a whole can
of flame bait.
This evening, while attending a class for school, I was touched by our God in a way that I have never before realized. I, an atheist, have opted to finally turn away from heretical ways and have given myself over entirely to our God.
What brought about this magnificent transformation? Surely such a great alteration in one's way of thinking must be grand, indeed! For this reason, I wish to share with all of you the cause of my glorious transformation!
In school, I am currently in my final year of a computer science degree. All of the courses are difficult, at best, and maddening, at worst, and I am, unfortunately, attending four of these very difficult classes during this semester.
This has, unfortunately, left me with precious little time to spare. Things have to be cut out of my daily life to ensure that I am able to adequately study for these courses, but unfortunately, it is not always enough. Sadly, there are also times when I must sacrifice the time needed to study in one class to give myself time in another class.
This is how tonight's class has been going: I have been sacrificing the time normally used to study for it for another class, as this course has been relatively easy so far, while the other has been quite difficult.
Unfortunately, that came back to haunt me tonight, when the professor presented the class with a surprise test. It was a 200 point test, and the total points for the course were being increased from 1450 to 1650, to accommodate for the surprise test. This was, needless to say, not a test I could afford to do poorly on, being just over 12% of the final grade.
But, as I've said, I had not studied very much for this course, thinking it would continue to be easy.
I was beginning to panic. I read over the test before ever beginning to answer the questions (sometimes, a question is asked more than once, but in different ways that can offer insights into the correct answer). By the time I had finished reading through the test, panic had fully set in.
I could not afford to do poorly, but I could afford even less to cheat, so I did not try.
Instead, I steeled my resolve and began working on the test as best I was able.
After the first few questions, my stomach began to act up. It was not a nauseated or sick acting-up, but a "too much gas and air is built up" acting-up. I attempted to ignore it, hoping it would go away, but after a few moments, I permitted myself a quite burp.
The taste of my dinner that evening came flooding back to me: the thick taste of well-baked spaghetti, a thick meat sauce, garlic, and meatballs.
I thought to myself, odd, how I would have a meal such as spaghetti and meatballs, my favorite meal and a wonderful start to any evening, on the evening of such a terrible surprise, and thought, "this cannot be coincidence!" I attempted to ignore the proverbial "writing on the wall" but my mind could not get away from it.
Such an evening, ruined by a terrible test!
But The Signs were there! I didn't want them to be, but they were!
Quietly, I closed my eyes and splayed my fingers, hoping to imitate His Noodly Appendage, and said to myself:
"Great Flying Spaghetti Monster, You have given me such a wonderful meal this evening, my favorite, no less, as a wondrous start to the evening, but this test will be the end of my career at this school! I understand, though, You are simply seeking my heart and mind, giving me this meal and following it with this test as a test of Your own, a test of my faith that I may come to You!
"Oh Joyful Flying Spaghetti Monster, I give myself wholly to You, asking only for peace and knowledge, that I may finish this test, and this year, successfully!
"In Your name, Wondrous Flying Spaghetti Monster, I pray, RAmen!"
I know from my time as an atheist, researching religion to strike down the fools and infidels with their own tools, that gods did not appreciate being asked for something without an offering in return, so I quickly followed my request with a second prayer:
"Oh Mighty Flying Spaghetti Monster, there are no midgets in this class, but I wish to thank You for those who are shorter than I, for they are closer to Your Chosen People than I! I can only wish I were born so short!
Thank You, Beautiful Flying Spaghetti Monster, for Your Chosen People! RAmen!"
No sooner had the final "n" sound fallen from my lips, than a wave of blissful peace washed over me! I understood, then! The test in this class, meant nothing, nor did any event of my life, so long as I held His Greatness to be my Lord and God!
Even so, He did no abandon me: I looked down again at the test I had been so terrified over, and saw therein was a pattern in the 50 multiple choice questions, following a well-known formula, and that the answer to numerous other questions within the test that were essay were contained within those multiple choice questions, and that the programming work could then be based off of those essays.
He graced me with His Noodly Appendage tonight, and for this, I feel I have done very well on this test, and with His help, I know I will be able to handle not only the test, but the class, and the year, and all troubles thrown against me, without fear!
Thanks Be to His Noodly Appendage!
Go and Eat, RAmen!
Doesn't this post exist just to piss people off? I've seen a lot of your posts before and they are obvious in telling us that you are atheist. But usually they at least have something to do with the subject at hand and add to the conversation. This seems like all you are trying to do is rile people up with no real end game in sight.
How so? How is this any different than a person who came into, say, Islam, or Catholicism, or Christianity, or Buddhism? I created it to try and create a bit of discussion, most of which is on this very topic: what is so different?
How does changing something from being a great god in the sky who loves the Jewish people to a plate of spaghetti who loves dwarfs change anything? As well, how does saying, "I talk with god" differ from "I talk with god through a hairdryer"? People would laud the first person, but scoff at the second, even though, for all practical purposes, they are saying the exact same thing.
The addition of a hairdryer and the changing of a name do not make something less believable.
Troll is obvious. But seriously very funny keep it up good up good sir and or madam.
If I were trying to troll, I would have posted it to Gaia (oops... did that after you two responded with such comments).
I'm actually trying to get a few certain people to respond, to try and open up a bit of communication with them and get a few questions answered.
Lol. Btw the sacred Roll of Duct Tape declares a holy war on the spaghetti monster.
Feh. Even the TEAPOT is more powerful than the Roll of Duct Tape.
Why, the Duct Tape cannot even tape its namesake! At least The Teapot can offer tea!
The duct tape can tape your mouth shut so you cant talk about the blasted teapot.
But... but.. but...
It's...
TEA!
*fights to prevent himself from going on a massive lecture about tea*
If I truly did have a religion, that religion would be tea.
I can talk about it for hours on end, without repeating anything at all.
I find it quite humorous that you mention taping my mouth shut so I can't talk about tea (even if you referred to the Teapot). Perhaps His Noodly Appendage has touched you, granting you transdentoptical vision!
Hooray! And Praised Be His Noodly Appendage! RAmen!
Are you serious with this thread? Honestly if you want to strike up a conversation with other members do it in either a PM or in thread that isn't such a joke. If your trying to start up serious discussion this is most definitely not the right course of action. This is just opening up a whole can of flame bait.