This actually happened last week...but I'm still really confused about it.

So, on Friday my friend, came into class and told me that her sister had had some sort of alcholic drink sitting out on their counter the night before. My friend said that she mixed it with some Vitamin Water and was drinking it. Then, she told me she mixed it with orange juice and that she'd brought it to school with her. All she said then was that she was letting a friend have some and I figured that she wasn't going to drink it. So I thought as long as a teacher didn't find it in her bookbag and figure out what was in it, she'd be okay. But then, when I got to my homeroom my friend walks in and she's, obviously, drunk. So she walked over and started talking to me and another friend and we were asking her if she was drunk and whatnot but she kept saying she wasn't. So I told her that she had told me she brought the orange juice (mixed with something else) to school. But she kept on saying she wasn't drunk. So a while later she pulled out the orange juice and me, my other friend, and another guy all smelled it and it definatley wans't orange juice (which I already knew). So I told my friend who was sitting next to me that and my (drunk) friend noticed it and knew I was talking about her. So she started crying and whining and saying we were talking about her (which we were). But she also kept saying that my friend next to me hates her. So I tried to calm her down but she was mad at me and wouldn't listen. So she finally stopped crying before we left homeroom, but she really got on my nerves.

There's been a lot of "drama" with her and the rest of my group of friends that ended up with her being kinda "kicked out of the group". Even after that though, me and the girl remained friends. So I've been sticking by her and helping her because she's been having a really hard year. But she keeps talking about how none of our other friends talk to her anymore and keeps saying that she wants to be in the "group" again. I don't want to be mean but, I know thats not going to happen. Her and her bestfriend (exbestfriend I guess...) got into a big fight and the other girl just doesn't like her anymore. My friend continues to apologize to her but I don't think the other girl will forgive her because, I don't think she really deserves it since she hurt the gril very badly.

I don't really know what to do about my friend. I really just don't want to be friends with her anymore becuase it's so hard having to tell her that everything will work out when I know it probably won't. I want to be there for her and help her because I know she needs someone but I don't think I'm really the person for it. I don't want to hurt her but, I'm not sure how much longer I can continue our friendship.

I hope this wasn't to confusing. I know it's a lot to read. I also hope I don't sound too mean....it's not like I just don't want to have to be friends with her anymore because it's hard. I just don't like how she acts because she brings everyone down.

Any advice please? Feel free to criticize more or whatever also...[:

So let to sum things up you don't want to be friends with her an longer cause she is generally a drag to bve around, but you don't want to sound mean like "go away i don't like you anymore." am i right or completely off?

Ok then, here's the deal.When i tell you this don't ignore it cause it might help.I had a similar/kinda problem before so here's my advice.Have you told her that you don't like the way she acts?If not, do it.I am dead serious.Tell it to her face.Not in a mean way but show her that you are extremely serious about the matter.Now this is the only problem, she might come at you saying, well what did i ever do to you?But you need to tell her that it's not what she did you but everybody else and if she ever DID bring you down say that.Explain to her what her problem is but keep in mind that she could feel offended so remind her that you are not doing this to hurt her but to help her.

Hope this helped a bit.

*sigh* Drama. Not my strong suit. But what the hay-

Alrighty- to start things off- this is a brave thing to open up about this sort of thing. I also understand why you wouldn't want to be friends with the girl again. Well done.

-Emotional Part Over- reality will now occur

nicollover202 has a good idea- be direct. Dont go all about "look here, ya drunk idiot- yer life is a mess and you are bad news- leave me alone now!" Because I've tried that before- long story short you get slapped and the problem somehow doesn't leave. At the same time dont make it a flilbuster, "Well, we've been ever-such-good friends, and it tears a whole in my heart when I have to think about every waking moment we'll be apart but for the greater good we'll have to part...". That also does no good- it can even make it worse by giving some emotional leeway for them to wiggle back in (trust me, I've crushed many a relationship, dream, hope, and anything people hang on to- I know this pretty well).

Remember the definition of a 'friend' as well. She wasn't thinking thouroughly and lied to you, thats no good, and of course she wants to be in the group because she sees herself falling apart by this horrible act. She wants to identify herself as 'good' with you again, even after she has done wrong. I am unforgiving, and being a drunkard- IN SCHOOL NO LESS! is unforgivable- she must pay for her wrong doings. If you were to forgive her easily- she may recede to her bad habits, and worse, pull you down too.

My suggestion for it all (after all what I said before): have the drama die down. Mans Equation for Drama: Danger = Drama/Time x Severity of the event + Personal Relationship - People on your side. The time will be the biggest asset for lowering the drama, and you have numbers on your side. If the drama continues she will cry again, women do that, and it frustrates me. Time heals all wounds- and when they are healed you may slowly slink away after she finds a new group.

YOUR QUESTION ANSWERED: End it. After time let the drama die down, okay? Let the fresh wound heal and let her find her way from you. You don't have to be mean, time will pass. But one key thing is to remind her why it is wrong- she got drunk, in school, lied to you, and made a scene in homeroom (this sounds like Jr. High, so all the worse). She will move on when the time is right- but as for the question, 'I dont know how much longer I can take' dont let it drag on- and as painful as it may be for your friend, you may have to give her a cold shoulder, not mean, but let her know her actions were not the right and honorable ones.

I'm glad you let me respond, and suprised you made it this far in this post! Well done. I hope you recieve more advice from people who have had more experience with this sort of this thing. As for myself- I usually get a shot at their kidneys- they get hurt- they hit me- and we all have a good laugh about their idiocy later.

...women are some kinda mystery I tells ya...

this might be over your head, she might need professional help.

I would say that she might need some help. It sounds like she's drinking either because she thinks its cool to do it or that she's sad about something and thinks that being drunk might make her feel better. If you really care about her (in my opinion), I think you need to talk to her. Tell her that her behavior recently isn't her... she's not who she used to be... ask her why she's changing her behaviors... ask her why she's drinking... tell her that you only ask because you care about her and she's your friend. Make sure that she knows you want the best for her. She may or may not open up and explain why she's drinking. If she doesn't want to change or she doesn't see it as a problem, you might need to talk to an adult you trust. That's all I can think of.

Its always up to you if you want to help her or get involved. By the way you sound, you seem like you want her to be alright and don't want her to get hurt. All you can do is try to help her.

Sounds to me like she's having emotional problems and is drinking to solve them... She needs professional help and friendly support.

Well, my suggestion, if the alcohol isn't really an issue with your friend(as if she only got drunk that time and doesn't intend to do so again), is to say that you don't wish to be friend with her anymore. Think about it for a sec: the longer you wait, the more she'll think you wish to stay with her, and from what I understood, you're pretty much the only one left with her. It is a hard decision, but trust me(known experience, never wanna do so again) waiting too long for such things usually end up badly. You can't always be nice wth everybody, remember that.

Next up, if she does have an alcohol issue, it would be a nice idea to recommend professionnal help. Then again, if she doesn't wish to be helped, you could stay with her, and, since you hate saying it'll be alright, then tell her to forget about them. Yeah it's harsh, but she'll need to get over it. It would be nice to know why you don't think you're the person to help her, that way I could try and find some more hypothesis for you, but what I can tell you right now, is tell her the truth, help her out while letting her know that you still have a life, so that she won't always be with you. And, most importantly, in this part, find some way to keep alcohol away from her, or, rather have some fun with her so that it can change her mood.

These are all and only suggestions based on neutral thoughts. I don't know you nor the life surrounding you. That being said, I hope you find the best answer to your situation, and don't regret having chosen that path.

you must have a good conversation