Dear my friend,

I have something to tell you that i cannot even tell my family and friends. I hope that you have the spare space in your heart to listen to my sigh.

There is a girl in my class which had caught my attention since the first term. However, at that time i thought that she was too perfect for me, so i decided to forget her. Though, we began the second semester two months ago, i totally have no feeling for her.

However, she showed somthing to mee that maybe i sensed it wrongly. She suddenly began to sat next to my table, she even join our group for meal. Last time she even sat in the same table with us. She even used my joke, (I used to use money for a joke, such as He, if you want to borrow my pen, pay me 5 bucks) by attacking me with that sentence when i borrowed her pen for signing the attendance. She even asked me to eat together with her.

Well, it began last week when she asked me my MSN. I gave her my MSN without any feeling or suspiciousness. Then we talked on the MSN that night. I apologize her since i was late to online at MSN. Actually she wanted to ask me on how to access the online journal, but she began it with a very strange question by interviewing me what is my dream. Then she told me she wrote poetry, which means she has the same hobby like me. Then i asked her to show it to me, she said it was deep to understand since it is in chinese and i cannot read nor speak chinese well. I said its ok just show it to me i will use the translator. Then i said so i think your heart must be deeper than the ocean.

Suddenly she said she is flying, and jokes by asking her whether she was an angel or a goddess since she can fly. When i jokes again by asking her to pay me since i teach her how to access the online journal she said "I am very poor, i cannot pay you, so what do you want?" Then she rectified it by saying just kidding. Then i forgot i think she said something and pretend like i was insulted, but actually i am not since i have my eye on her. She said she will force me to forget it. Then i said "Are you going to hit my head so that i forget everything?". And this is the beginning the seed of the flower inside my heart began to bloom. She said "i do not think so i can hit u heart. bcz i know i can not walk to u heart. how can i hit u heart"

I thought she also has her eyes on me. When i asked her why she always sit alone at school, she even said she always sit next to me (When she said that i just realized it). Then i joke and flirted by saying "You know my heart is so small, therefore only one person can be inside there. One day if you go into my heart, i will close it so that you will be there forever." She said my mouth is so sweet. Then she asked me for a help to choose a topic for the thesis. She jokes by saying she want to share the suffering with me .

The day after, she asked me to help her on financial management assignment, then i tried to help her. Then i flirted with her again by saying her photo on her MSN is so beautiful but she said i am more beautiful weird rite? Then she asked me what i did that day, i said i just finished making the slide and cut my hair. I jokes by saying i cut my hair for her. She said thank you. I even flatter her by saying her hairstyle for this term is so nice. She then even shared her background and story about her parents and how she loved her mother very much.

Then i flirted by saying i can read her personality through her photo, actually i used a software. She said my analysis was 99.99999999999% correct. Then the day after she praised me for my good presentation, and i said her presentation must be good (Coz i was absent for her presentation turn). She said she was always nervous when she has to present in front of many people. I said next time you can practice in front of me first. I told her that another female friend also prcatice in front of me before. Then she said i am her true friend, this is the begining she hurt my heart, Then i tried to joke that i dont want to be her friend, but her enemy instead.

Then the day after we had a break, she said she wanted to go to the campus to submit her assignment, i said i think i will also need to go to campus since i have to return a book and maybe we can meet there and help her to check her assingment. Then i lost words, suddenly i dun have anything to say and she asked me whether i am in the same group with her for the workshop or not. I said yes. Then she said thank you very much for helping me a lot, she said what she can do to return all to me is by treating me. Again she made another hole inside my heart. I said no need to thanks, maybe someday later i will need her help. Then she promised to teach me chinese, i said should i call her lao shi, she said no need because we are friend. Another hole inside my heart.

Then we met and as always, i alwas jokes a lot when we were together, i bet she always felt hurt in her stomach due to my lame jokes. She even sometimes tried to pinch my thigh or punch my shoulder due to my lame jokes and teasing. She then asked my age, i know i am 2 years younger than her, so i never want to tell her, i said i am forty years old. She seems curious, but i didn;t want to tell her.

Then the day after she didnt sat next to my table, she sat one table behind her usual table. She didn;t ask me to eat together, at that time i already feel pain in my heary so i also didn;t want to say anything to her. I just asked my group in front of her to eat together. She then left the class and went home i think. Then i just keep inside my mind that she just want to use me, because i always do my assingment fast and i am good at finance.

What do you think? I think she just want to bully me or use me rite? Why her sign is totally strange. Do you think that she has eyes on me or not? Why she is so cruel by playing with my fragile heart. I was once been hurt by a girl therefore i always be careful to choose a gf. But, now i have already been hurt again. What will you do if you are me? Will you keep chasing after her of just leave her?

Thank you very much for reading my damn long sigh. I cannot tell my best friend about this because i know he sometimes cannot keep his mouth and moreover he is also her good friend. So i can only talk this to you. I hope you have the oinment to cure and prevent my heart to ache again.

Kind Regards,

Tree Without Leaf

be patient and be honest with her

well girls seem to leave "clues" as we see it, but alot of the times it really is just a misinterpretations and i speak from experience lol. but as u saw, she made an effort to get close to you, whether it was because she wanted to be friends or something more, or maybe even to use u, the signs were quite clear that she wanted to get close to you.
now maybe at the problem is that you didnt make a move early enough?, my friend use dto say that you shudnt make it too clear that you're just there to be a friend, cuz once ur her best friend, it may be hard to be something more, once again personal experience lol, i know how much it hurts for that to be said to u by someone u like. so now think bout this, she decided to get clsoe to you, so there has to be some level of interest, all you really need to do was be yourself and not need to prove yourself. maybe you told too much jokes is that really how you are? cuz girls also want to have serious conversations bout things so its alright to tell jokes but also try to be a person that she can have normal or serious convo with.
Now i dunno whether she was just using you but thats up to u, i havent met her so i cant judge her. but thst is what you need to clear up, u need to find out whats going on and why she decided not to sit next to you and stuff. and also i think u shud tell her you like her.
now even if you do all this it doesnt mean that everything will be fine again, cuz i dunno how the situation is really like and wha ttype of perosn she is or u as well. but the thing is you need to do something obut it, the longer you hold off from fixing this up the further shell drift away from you, now im not saying u shud be forceful and in her face bout it but ask her whats going on and why ur relationship with ehr is like this, and if you also confess at least ul know then what she feels like and u wont drift further into the formidable "best-friend category". well good luck and im srry to say but patience may not be the answer, cuz she might get used to how things have turned out to be and may no longer want to fix things up. so do something bout it!^^ and be smart and compassionate bout it, dont do something that might hurt her.

too long, didn't read. get her a gift

maybe you got at it too fast, maybe she wanted to be friends first. Well, what I would do, is try to befriend her, then from that the relationship should grow again. From what you said, she sounds like a kind person, so I'm sure she wants to be friends again. I'm sure she has her eye on you as well, don't be so demoralized. I myself have been hurt by a girl whom I loved for 6 years once. Totally crushed my heart. Anyways, just relax, take your time in life, everything will be fine.