The title speaks for itself. I'm 17, and I'm dating the best girl in the world.
She's also 17, but 4 months older than me. We both love eachother very much,
we're able to talk to eachother about ANYTHING with out feeling embarrassed, or
anything negative emotion. We've been together for 8 months, and we're engaged.
We feel ready to take our relationship title to the next level. What age is a
good at to be engaged?
Well age doesnt really matter, as long as you feel that the other person really
is your true love then it's fine. On the other hand you don't want to get
engaged too early cuz it might just be premature and you'll end up regretting
after. I'm also 17 and very lonely . lol j/k
just all the girls at my school are.....lets just say not my type.
Yeah i know what you're saying. That's a big down side to becoming engaged. We
can go through any problem though, and shrug it off like it was nothing, and
move one. We know our limits, and we don't cross the line...purposly, and we all
make mistakes, and we just talk about it and move on.
I know what you mean, the "Non of the firls are your type thing." I
felt the same way about my school, until I met this girl.
I suppose it depends. I was seeing the best girl in the world for Four years,
and we loved each other alot. We're each other best friend. I proposed
Valentines day this year, and I'm 19 she's 20. However, We've agreed not to get
married/have a ceramony/Civil Union untill we're thirty and can afford it. ( 5
months apart. April/August)
I dont think age really matters as long as your 100% positive your right for
each other. As you know i'm in the same situation (just not engaged officially,
so far ring pops are in place of the real thing) and the only thing i'm worried
about is "what if we aren't right for each other?". Luckily i have 4
years until we're officially engaged. so as long as your positive, go for it ^-^
Okay......... anyone who says age doesn't matter is, in fact, an idiot..... sure
your feelings are strong now, but do realize that things pass quite quickly.
Now, before people start calling me a jackass for saying age matters there are
some points to consider:
*NOTE*: this is under the assumption that you are a middle class individual who
is not being completely backed up by your parents, relative, or friend(s). If
otherwise, disregard the following.
1. YOU ARE YOUNG - and that translate that despite what you may think, you are
not done developing in your head. You may believe that you are the same, but
your puberty hasn't ended just quite yet. Remember, girls go through puberty at
an earlier age and finish at an earlier age. Guys tend to go on through there
early twentys. You will change, if only slightly.
2. Your 17! It's possible to get engaged, yes. However, do consider that you
are, I'm hoping, a college student (or going to be). Instead of thinking of
engagement, you sould be thinking of putting your life together a little more,
or you may have trouble with your empty wallet.
3. Last problem is generally that your have posted this very topic........ your
seventeen, and you post a topic asking when the heck can I ask someone to marry
me. As everyone knows, life is different depending on the individual; thus the
correct time for engagement differs greatly. I know a couple who became engaged
and married right out of highschool. Then I know my aunt who married after
dating for ten years. If you realize what I'm trying to point out, then you know
that asking for marriage is not a question of "when is it a good
time," but rather the question, "am I ready for this."
As you can guess, I am a complete asshole who is telling you that you are
incapable of loving this girl, and having a serious commitment. Alas, there is
still hope, (Always wanted to say that, jk)
Here are some pointers to consider if you are indeed ready:
- If you are going to have kids, I is in your best intrest to buy a house. Even
if your not, it is still in your best intrest to buy a house. When you grow old,
you'll want one. And oh me, oh my, you of course knew that right now or a little
latter is the best time to buy a house. Good luck with the money issue.
- Sex gets really "boring" with just the regular "up and
down," or "push and pull." Make your life a little more fruitful
with different positions, and some kind of dress up and scenario, such as
"nurse." Really, it makes sex better. Hell, use words like,
"Sorry, I don't have a container to sample my sperm, so all just use
yours." Get it? Just spice it up.
- A healthy sex life generally involves sex once a week or at least once every
two weeks. Having sex when the partner wants it, and being able to understand
when your partner says "NO!" However, it is advise that sex is avoided
after child birth for known reasons............... you know that right? If you
are not really into sex, then go ahead and avoid it.
- Having sex while your mate is pregnant is "OKAY." In fact, it brings
even more pleasure to your partner due to the increase of hormones. You may ask
"why the hell is he telling me how to have sex?" But realize that it
can me a huge difference in a relationship
- Also be ready to deal with the fact that other guys may be around her.........
some people become over protective..... don't be like that. Oh, and intresting
statistic said that women generally have "fantasys" about doing it
with their closest "guy" friend. Don't let thet confuse you, believe
in her commitment to you. If you can't, then you weren't fit for each other from
the start.
- Another important question that needs to be asked is how will you deal with
problems, even if that problem is you. Don't let her do everything. Do some of
the laundry, at least your laundry, clean the house a bit, and cooking every now
and then won't hurt. Point being, copormise, compromise, split everything
equally. Oh, and don't be an idiot and get pissed, even if she does.
- Money is a hude issue as usual. Please take into account the rising gas
prices, higher cost of living in general, and the twenty cents that has added to
your breakfast choice since everything is more expensive. Oh, and do pay our
bills on time, don't forget that credit card usage. Like said earlier, you want
a house, so save as much as possible by avoiding restaurant, and buying
expensive cars. Try climbing the ladder in you job position or finding one that
is more competent that still makes you feel happy.
So I'm making this sound stupid right? Lay it on me. Anyways, these are just
advices for the future ranging from now and ten years, or whenever you are ready
to become serious with life......... just don't make it too long.
Anyways, just to answer your question, basically what angel12devil said earlier,
otherwise, stop, wait, and then make you choice. I would advise to experience
the world a little more, but go ahead if you are ready; (though it looks like
your are not by your reply).
There is not just one person for us, hence the saying "there are many
fishes in the sea." No one is meant for anyone, its just how much can you
take and compromise..........
Oh, and I would love it if you could write to me back telling me if this was at
all helpful, or was I just full of &%$#@!
PS. Good luck to you what ever you do.............
There really isn't a "good age" to be engaged. If you take it slowly
and all, you should end up coming to an conclusion of "when" to be
engaged. Age isn't really a factor. Unless you're 4 Don't rush.
Everyone i know who got engaged and married too young regretted it later.... but
i think it all depends on how long you two have been together. Things can be
perfect one moment and go SHARPLY downhill for no apparent reason in a short
matter of time.
think you should really think hard and well about the situation. frankly, i
don't think 17 is a good age. there are a lot more things to learn to be able to
say you're mature and ready. as rintasha pointed out, there are various problems
a couple has to face. love is very important in a relationship but there are
other things. there are couples who are great together when living apart and
horrible when staying in the same place. you can't know a person until you've
lived with them and even then there are a lot of things you'll discover in
time.
not gonna say all relationships that are built at an early age are doomed to
fail, some survive and went really well.
about the "we're able to talk to eachother about ANYTHING with out feeling
embarrassed, or anything negative emotion" i'm able to do that with male
friends and had more than one boyfriend with whom i could do that. i've talked
about erotic fantasies and other intimate things with my past boyfirends and you
don't see me married . around 16
i had a boyfriend and we thought we'd marry, but guess what: now we hate
eachother's gutts....
i'm not necessarily saying what you guys did was wrong, but i think you should
reconsider if u really wanna marry her as marriage isn't made only out of fluff
and sugar.
I think it should be after you've found your place in the world. If I had to say
an age it be 27. You are normally done with college and have a good grasp on all
the "who am I questions"
Hmm.. from what I believe, age has nothing to do with when you should get
married. Imo, it's all about your succession. When you're out of college, you
got a good job, when you're able to support yourself and the family.
i say wait three years, if it last that long then its something special to get
married, 80 percent of people in america younger then the age of 25 gets
divorced. your still young and got alot of time left to live so the decisions
you make are not always the right one. there no guarantee shes the one or your
the one and it doesnt really hurt to wait.
good things comes to those who wait.
since your posting this thread, you already have some doubts, maybe its there
for a reason
Quote by RintashaOkay......... anyone
who says age doesn't matter is, in fact, an idiot..... sure your feelings are
strong now, but do realize that things pass quite quickly. Now, before people
start calling me a jackass for saying age matters there are some points to
consider:
*NOTE*: this is under the assumption that you are a middle class individual who
is not being completely backed up by your parents, relative, or friend(s). If
otherwise, disregard the following.
1. YOU ARE YOUNG - and that translate that despite what you may think, you are
not done developing in your head. You may believe that you are the same, but
your puberty hasn't ended just quite yet. Remember, girls go through puberty at
an earlier age and finish at an earlier age. Guys tend to go on through there
early twentys. You will change, if only slightly.
2. Your 17! It's possible to get engaged, yes. However, do consider that you
are, I'm hoping, a college student (or going to be). Instead of thinking of
engagement, you sould be thinking of putting your life together a little more,
or you may have trouble with your empty wallet.
3. Last problem is generally that your have posted this very topic........ your
seventeen, and you post a topic asking when the heck can I ask someone to marry
me. As everyone knows, life is different depending on the individual; thus the
correct time for engagement differs greatly. I know a couple who became engaged
and married right out of highschool. Then I know my aunt who married after
dating for ten years. If you realize what I'm trying to point out, then you know
that asking for marriage is not a question of "when is it a good
time," but rather the question, "am I ready for this."
As you can guess, I am a complete asshole who is telling you that you are
incapable of loving this girl, and having a serious commitment. Alas, there is
still hope, (Always wanted to say that, jk)
Here are some pointers to consider if you are indeed ready:
- If you are going to have kids, I is in your best intrest to buy a house. Even
if your not, it is still in your best intrest to buy a house. When you grow old,
you'll want one. And oh me, oh my, you of course knew that right now or a little
latter is the best time to buy a house. Good luck with the money issue.
- Sex gets really "boring" with just the regular "up and
down," or "push and pull." Make your life a little more fruitful
with different positions, and some kind of dress up and scenario, such as
"nurse." Really, it makes sex better. Hell, use words like,
"Sorry, I don't have a container to sample my sperm, so all just use
yours." Get it? Just spice it up.
- A healthy sex life generally involves sex once a week or at least once every
two weeks. Having sex when the partner wants it, and being able to understand
when your partner says "NO!" However, it is advise that sex is avoided
after child birth for known reasons............... you know that right? If you
are not really into sex, then go ahead and avoid it.
- Having sex while your mate is pregnant is "OKAY." In fact, it brings
even more pleasure to your partner due to the increase of hormones. You may ask
"why the hell is he telling me how to have sex?" But realize that it
can me a huge difference in a relationship
- Also be ready to deal with the fact that other guys may be around her.........
some people become over protective..... don't be like that. Oh, and intresting
statistic said that women generally have "fantasys" about doing it
with their closest "guy" friend. Don't let thet confuse you, believe
in her commitment to you. If you can't, then you weren't fit for each other from
the start.
- Another important question that needs to be asked is how will you deal with
problems, even if that problem is you. Don't let her do everything. Do some of
the laundry, at least your laundry, clean the house a bit, and cooking every now
and then won't hurt. Point being, copormise, compromise, split everything
equally. Oh, and don't be an idiot and get pissed, even if she does.
- Money is a hude issue as usual. Please take into account the rising gas
prices, higher cost of living in general, and the twenty cents that has added to
your breakfast choice since everything is more expensive. Oh, and do pay our
bills on time, don't forget that credit card usage. Like said earlier, you want
a house, so save as much as possible by avoiding restaurant, and buying
expensive cars. Try climbing the ladder in you job position or finding one that
is more competent that still makes you feel happy.
So I'm making this sound stupid right? Lay it on me. Anyways, these are just
advices for the future ranging from now and ten years, or whenever you are ready
to become serious with life......... just don't make it too long.
Anyways, just to answer your question, basically what angel12devil said earlier,
otherwise, stop, wait, and then make you choice. I would advise to experience
the world a little more, but go ahead if you are ready; (though it looks like
your are not by your reply).
There is not just one person for us, hence the saying "there are many
fishes in the sea." No one is meant for anyone, its just how much can you
take and compromise..........
Oh, and I would love it if you could write to me back telling me if this was at
all helpful, or was I just full of &%$#@!
PS. Good luck to you what ever you do.............
Though
this reply was very long, it was greatly helpful, and no you don't sound like an
asshole. the truth is the truth, and you have to be prepared to hear it.Now that
you mention it, this relationship at times can be hell, and sometimes I feel
like I can't take anymore drama. I understand that this is a relationship, but
even my mom sees the little tricks she does to make me feel bad or to get an
apology from me.
Personally i think you should be going out for atleast 2 years before
considering marrage, yes you can use engagement to show you are commited to the
relationship but id wait a few year and get in a place in life where its stable
for both of you before you walk down the ile (i cant spell)
So basicly, stay together for a few more years, use engagement as a way to show
you are commited to the relationship
At 17 life changes alot over the next few years and you are better off having
that out the way and creating somthing stable otherwise the stress of everything
could damage the relationship perminently
actually, despite what Rintasha says, age doesn't really matters. BUT everything
else does.
first thing of all to consider would be money. many couples, married or not,
break up in the end because of money. financial management is important. if you
are still living off your parent's money, i seriously advice you to get a stable
income before you even consider marriage. the next thing after you have the
money would be the management itself. it is always best to have both you and
your lover's credits and debits recorded down. this is usually to avoid
pointless fights over your lover over "where the money go to?"
problems. but the real point of doing that is to avoid both of you ended up
loaning from your relatives at the end of the month, or chunk your savings up
until you couldn't enjoy life anymore.
the next thing would be what you are familiar with. commitment to your family.
are you committed to spend the rest of your life with the same person? this
means seeing her(in your case) everyday, and of course having sex with her only.
this also includes respecting each other's decisions. the next level of
commitment would be understanding what it means to have children. children
requires a lot of care and another big chunk off your income. therefore, it is
really IMPORTANT to plan first before having any children. if you think can't
afford to have children, then don't have them!
anyway, to sum it up, you can't just go and get married just because you and
your lover wanted to. anyway, always plan ahead with your lover, and start
planning your future now if you really love her. this makes the difference
because this is what it means to love.
Its really hard to tell when is the best time to get engage, age wise.
Personally, i think you should be able to support your self, financially first.
You cannot have be engage but still depends on your dad to pay for her dinner
now, can you. That's just not right and embarrassing...
I can speak on experience planning to get married and asking your lover to marry
you are two big choices. Sometimes they last and othertimes they won't, but as
far as age does that is just a number. A person can be more mature at a young
age then a person twice their age. If you two are sure this is what you both
want and feel totally comfortable with each other then the best thing to do is
sit down and ask yourselves these questions.
1: Is this the person I want to spend the rest of my life with?
2: Do either of us want to go to college?
3: Can we support ourselves once we are married?
4: What if we start a family will we be able to handle the pressure and
responsibility?
After that if you both still want to get married then let the world know and set
plans to do it, but if you either one wants to go to college do the college work
first and try to find a job that pays good so its easier on you both.
The title speaks for itself. I'm 17, and I'm dating the best girl in the world. She's also 17, but 4 months older than me. We both love eachother very much, we're able to talk to eachother about ANYTHING with out feeling embarrassed, or anything negative emotion. We've been together for 8 months, and we're engaged. We feel ready to take our relationship title to the next level. What age is a good at to be engaged?
Well age doesnt really matter, as long as you feel that the other person really is your true love then it's fine. On the other hand you don't want to get engaged too early cuz it might just be premature and you'll end up regretting after. I'm also 17 and very lonely
. lol j/k
just all the girls at my school are.....lets just say not my type.
Yeah i know what you're saying. That's a big down side to becoming engaged. We can go through any problem though, and shrug it off like it was nothing, and move one. We know our limits, and we don't cross the line...purposly, and we all make mistakes, and we just talk about it and move on.
I know what you mean, the "Non of the firls are your type thing." I felt the same way about my school, until I met this girl.
I suppose it depends. I was seeing the best girl in the world for Four years, and we loved each other alot. We're each other best friend. I proposed Valentines day this year, and I'm 19 she's 20. However, We've agreed not to get married/have a ceramony/Civil Union untill we're thirty and can afford it. ( 5 months apart. April/August)
i think age means nothing.
the real problem is... are u sure u can take that commitment?
True, that's probably the hardest thing to do at this point in time.
I dont think age really matters as long as your 100% positive your right for each other. As you know i'm in the same situation (just not engaged officially, so far ring pops are in place of the real thing) and the only thing i'm worried about is "what if we aren't right for each other?". Luckily i have 4 years until we're officially engaged. so as long as your positive, go for it ^-^
Okay......... anyone who says age doesn't matter is, in fact, an idiot..... sure your feelings are strong now, but do realize that things pass quite quickly. Now, before people start calling me a jackass for saying age matters there are some points to consider:
*NOTE*: this is under the assumption that you are a middle class individual who is not being completely backed up by your parents, relative, or friend(s). If otherwise, disregard the following.
1. YOU ARE YOUNG - and that translate that despite what you may think, you are not done developing in your head. You may believe that you are the same, but your puberty hasn't ended just quite yet. Remember, girls go through puberty at an earlier age and finish at an earlier age. Guys tend to go on through there early twentys. You will change, if only slightly.
2. Your 17! It's possible to get engaged, yes. However, do consider that you are, I'm hoping, a college student (or going to be). Instead of thinking of engagement, you sould be thinking of putting your life together a little more, or you may have trouble with your empty wallet.
3. Last problem is generally that your have posted this very topic........ your seventeen, and you post a topic asking when the heck can I ask someone to marry me. As everyone knows, life is different depending on the individual; thus the correct time for engagement differs greatly. I know a couple who became engaged and married right out of highschool. Then I know my aunt who married after dating for ten years. If you realize what I'm trying to point out, then you know that asking for marriage is not a question of "when is it a good time," but rather the question, "am I ready for this."
As you can guess, I am a complete asshole who is telling you that you are incapable of loving this girl, and having a serious commitment. Alas, there is still hope, (Always wanted to say that, jk)
Here are some pointers to consider if you are indeed ready:
- If you are going to have kids, I is in your best intrest to buy a house. Even if your not, it is still in your best intrest to buy a house. When you grow old, you'll want one. And oh me, oh my, you of course knew that right now or a little latter is the best time to buy a house. Good luck with the money issue.
- Sex gets really "boring" with just the regular "up and down," or "push and pull." Make your life a little more fruitful with different positions, and some kind of dress up and scenario, such as "nurse." Really, it makes sex better. Hell, use words like, "Sorry, I don't have a container to sample my sperm, so all just use yours." Get it? Just spice it up.
- A healthy sex life generally involves sex once a week or at least once every two weeks. Having sex when the partner wants it, and being able to understand when your partner says "NO!" However, it is advise that sex is avoided after child birth for known reasons............... you know that right? If you are not really into sex, then go ahead and avoid it.
- Having sex while your mate is pregnant is "OKAY." In fact, it brings even more pleasure to your partner due to the increase of hormones. You may ask "why the hell is he telling me how to have sex?" But realize that it can me a huge difference in a relationship
- Also be ready to deal with the fact that other guys may be around her......... some people become over protective..... don't be like that. Oh, and intresting statistic said that women generally have "fantasys" about doing it with their closest "guy" friend. Don't let thet confuse you, believe in her commitment to you. If you can't, then you weren't fit for each other from the start.
- Another important question that needs to be asked is how will you deal with problems, even if that problem is you. Don't let her do everything. Do some of the laundry, at least your laundry, clean the house a bit, and cooking every now and then won't hurt. Point being, copormise, compromise, split everything equally. Oh, and don't be an idiot and get pissed, even if she does.
- Money is a hude issue as usual. Please take into account the rising gas prices, higher cost of living in general, and the twenty cents that has added to your breakfast choice since everything is more expensive. Oh, and do pay our bills on time, don't forget that credit card usage. Like said earlier, you want a house, so save as much as possible by avoiding restaurant, and buying expensive cars. Try climbing the ladder in you job position or finding one that is more competent that still makes you feel happy.
So I'm making this sound stupid right? Lay it on me. Anyways, these are just advices for the future ranging from now and ten years, or whenever you are ready to become serious with life......... just don't make it too long.
Anyways, just to answer your question, basically what angel12devil said earlier, otherwise, stop, wait, and then make you choice. I would advise to experience the world a little more, but go ahead if you are ready; (though it looks like your are not by your reply).
There is not just one person for us, hence the saying "there are many fishes in the sea." No one is meant for anyone, its just how much can you take and compromise..........
Oh, and I would love it if you could write to me back telling me if this was at all helpful, or was I just full of &%$#@!
PS. Good luck to you what ever you do.............
Yo, finally came back. Anyway back on topic.
There really isn't a "good age" to be engaged. If you take it slowly and all, you should end up coming to an conclusion of "when" to be engaged. Age isn't really a factor. Unless you're 4
Don't rush.
Everyone i know who got engaged and married too young regretted it later.... but i think it all depends on how long you two have been together. Things can be perfect one moment and go SHARPLY downhill for no apparent reason in a short matter of time.
think you should really think hard and well about the situation. frankly, i don't think 17 is a good age. there are a lot more things to learn to be able to say you're mature and ready. as rintasha pointed out, there are various problems a couple has to face. love is very important in a relationship but there are other things. there are couples who are great together when living apart and horrible when staying in the same place. you can't know a person until you've lived with them and even then there are a lot of things you'll discover in time.
. around 16
i had a boyfriend and we thought we'd marry, but guess what: now we hate
eachother's gutts....
not gonna say all relationships that are built at an early age are doomed to fail, some survive and went really well.
about the "we're able to talk to eachother about ANYTHING with out feeling embarrassed, or anything negative emotion" i'm able to do that with male friends and had more than one boyfriend with whom i could do that. i've talked about erotic fantasies and other intimate things with my past boyfirends and you don't see me married
i'm not necessarily saying what you guys did was wrong, but i think you should reconsider if u really wanna marry her as marriage isn't made only out of fluff and sugar.
I think it should be after you've found your place in the world. If I had to say an age it be 27. You are normally done with college and have a good grasp on all the "who am I questions"
i think RudraAgni is right but you should wait atleast one more year to see if anithing comes up.
Hmm.. from what I believe, age has nothing to do with when you should get married. Imo, it's all about your succession. When you're out of college, you got a good job, when you're able to support yourself and the family.
i say wait three years, if it last that long then its something special to get married, 80 percent of people in america younger then the age of 25 gets divorced. your still young and got alot of time left to live so the decisions you make are not always the right one. there no guarantee shes the one or your the one and it doesnt really hurt to wait.
good things comes to those who wait.
since your posting this thread, you already have some doubts, maybe its there for a reason
Though this reply was very long, it was greatly helpful, and no you don't sound like an asshole. the truth is the truth, and you have to be prepared to hear it.Now that you mention it, this relationship at times can be hell, and sometimes I feel like I can't take anymore drama. I understand that this is a relationship, but even my mom sees the little tricks she does to make me feel bad or to get an apology from me.
Personally i think you should be going out for atleast 2 years before considering marrage, yes you can use engagement to show you are commited to the relationship but id wait a few year and get in a place in life where its stable for both of you before you walk down the ile (i cant spell)
So basicly, stay together for a few more years, use engagement as a way to show you are commited to the relationship
At 17 life changes alot over the next few years and you are better off having that out the way and creating somthing stable otherwise the stress of everything could damage the relationship perminently
actually, despite what Rintasha says, age doesn't really matters. BUT everything else does.
first thing of all to consider would be money. many couples, married or not, break up in the end because of money. financial management is important. if you are still living off your parent's money, i seriously advice you to get a stable income before you even consider marriage. the next thing after you have the money would be the management itself. it is always best to have both you and your lover's credits and debits recorded down. this is usually to avoid pointless fights over your lover over "where the money go to?" problems. but the real point of doing that is to avoid both of you ended up loaning from your relatives at the end of the month, or chunk your savings up until you couldn't enjoy life anymore.
the next thing would be what you are familiar with. commitment to your family. are you committed to spend the rest of your life with the same person? this means seeing her(in your case) everyday, and of course having sex with her only. this also includes respecting each other's decisions. the next level of commitment would be understanding what it means to have children. children requires a lot of care and another big chunk off your income. therefore, it is really IMPORTANT to plan first before having any children. if you think can't afford to have children, then don't have them!
anyway, to sum it up, you can't just go and get married just because you and your lover wanted to. anyway, always plan ahead with your lover, and start planning your future now if you really love her. this makes the difference because this is what it means to love.
Its really hard to tell when is the best time to get engage, age wise. Personally, i think you should be able to support your self, financially first. You cannot have be engage but still depends on your dad to pay for her dinner now, can you. That's just not right and embarrassing...
I can speak on experience planning to get married and asking your lover to marry you are two big choices. Sometimes they last and othertimes they won't, but as far as age does that is just a number. A person can be more mature at a young age then a person twice their age. If you two are sure this is what you both want and feel totally comfortable with each other then the best thing to do is sit down and ask yourselves these questions.
1: Is this the person I want to spend the rest of my life with?
2: Do either of us want to go to college?
3: Can we support ourselves once we are married?
4: What if we start a family will we be able to handle the pressure and responsibility?
After that if you both still want to get married then let the world know and set plans to do it, but if you either one wants to go to college do the college work first and try to find a job that pays good so its easier on you both.