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hi I decided to post a poem I wrote bare with me Im an amatuer oh and dont feel obligated to read it just cause your on my friendslist I dont mind unless your my twin sister she has to read it and suffer cause well shes family :)
Invisible Key
I want to tell you how I feel,but don't know where to start
Your everything to me,your a piece of my heart.
You gave me no choice,but to love you
Now I am trapped and not sure what to do.
How do you escape a cage you cannot touch nor see
How do you escape when you lack the will to be free
You hurt me and make me cry
But revenge hurts hundereds more and Im not sure why
You sometimes make me happy too
You take the good with the bad nothing could be more true
But what you should know is what you hold
And its about time you were told
To an ivisible cage you have an invisible key
That leads to everything that is me
Keep it or throw it away
Its your choice no matter what I say
I am a prisioner hoping only for an invisible key
But not my own yours given willingly

if anyone did suffer through my poem I dont mind critism :)

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jasaiyajin

jasaiyajin

-repeat-

i suffered...

i get ya. but reduce the invisible key terms... dont just say it so openly many times. i think you have the right idea with the symbolism... its catchy

-repeat-

UmazakiFury

UmazakiFury

Activating Ninjutsu

Nice poem! but kinna sad.

Destroy or be Destroy!
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tripleG

tripleG

To simply be

Quote by jasaiyajini suffered... i get ya. but reduce the invisible key terms... dont just
say it so openly many times. i think you have the right idea with the
symbolism... its catchy

I agree with his with the repetition (mainly because this is such a short poem). However I like the theme of it!

I especially like this 2 lines:

How do you escape a cage you cannot touch nor see
How do you escape when you lack the will to be free

Very well done! Keep it up!

~TripleG~

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al-shatti

al-shatti

*{~Freedom~}*

nice poem ...teehee >_< ......

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*Thank u ~Char-Aznabel~ for the sign*
*Thank u ~kairi-Hearts~ for the avatar*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
member of {~~ asucaga ~~ Gundam-Haven ~~ Newtypes ~~}

masterjesse89

masterjesse89

Master of ALL Things Spiffy

I liked it... I dont really like poems that much but this was nice....
As TripleG said these were my favorite lines...

~How do you escape a cage you cannot touch nor see~
~How do you escape when you lack the will to be free~

Keep it up... I want to see more...

Once I desire something... I cannot undesire it.
I cannot even try to resist. I will desire it until I have it.
But there is no end
No matter how much I take. I still want.

love your poem awesome job :) alittle on the sad side though

This signature violates the signature guidelines, thus it has been removed.

i liked everything about youre poem and whoever doesn't stinks hehehehe :nya:

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hongrboi

hongrboi

getting pwned by school

Lots of emotion in there. It's great ^^ I'm glad you rhymed it too!

"Once two star have collided and return to their orbit, the chance of colliding again is infinity small, for there are many other possible collisions."
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Latest wall ::A Void in my Heart::

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