[POEM] Christmas Night

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BlkLotus

BlkLotus

bara tsukiyo

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The smell of a Christmas tree
the twinkle of the lights
and shimmering tinsel
A warm fire
and wrapping paper scattered on the floor
The radio playing Silent Night
as the kids lay together on the floor
their new toys clutched in their arms
Snuggled together, hot cocoa in our hands
watching our kids sleep
as they dream of next years Christmas night

not to much into ryhming sorry if you dont like it

critique if you want be gentle

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oh..screw rhyme..I don't care much bout it actually n.n
^^ this poem is good enough..good description of the atmosphere but what do u mean by they dream of next years Christmas night?

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My Newest Submission:Curse Of The Prosperity God

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Yes, not too much rhyming.
I think something is missing but just don't know what.
Like the atmo like Milkyo already mentioned but just can't help but think somethin's missing.

? ???? ?? ??? ???? ???? ?? ??? ??? ?? ? ????? ?? ?????

BlkLotus

BlkLotus

bara tsukiyo

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Quote by Milkiyooh..screw rhyme..I don't care much bout it actually n.n
^^ this poem is good enough..good description of the atmosphere but what do u mean by they dream of next years Christmas night?

well if you think ,the kids have already opened their gifts and cant wait till the next Christmas so they can get more gifts. that is the way i used to think when i was a kid wanting to be good for "santa" so i could get more good gifts.

Rikimaru-jp

Rikimaru-jp

Katon Karyu Endan

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great poem B-lotus! I really like it ;)
the words are truly beautiful!
keep it up!

*~* It's Not Who I Am Underneath, But What I Do That Defines Me *~*
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MysteryAngel

MysteryAngel

Kurai utsukushisa

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I really like this poem, its so christmasy :) Great job!

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  • Dec 19, 2005

WolfMaster

WolfMaster

The Hunter

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very good

  • Dec 19, 2005

jasaiyajin

jasaiyajin

-repeat-

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ghastly xmas, bahhhh humbug lol

it sounds like its a nice little limerick composition of two, it's my first thought.

you've created a small picture of xmas, but where are the deeper meanings behind the words? there's meaning behind the ideas, but the words, the words!?!?!?!

-repeat-

  • Dec 19, 2005

Kayen

Kayen

Lord of Nothing

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this is very good i like it

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You must see death to find life, you must look into evil to find the good
and to see the daylight you must walk through the darkness

thank you AC2N for the awsome av and sig :)

  • Dec 19, 2005

Delgados

God is the creation of man.

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SHOCKED o_0

Didn't expect to read something meant for the kiddies. I thought it would hav a more X-mas feel to it seeing how most of your work flows that way. ~_~

#1 thought it would involve santa and some new toys XXX.
Well..... still nice ... I quess -_-

(JJ :D) hope you don't take seewewus XP

In truth we search for euphoria.

  • Dec 20, 2005

Invincible

Invincible

Angel and Sierras Guardian

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Nice Christmas song...You sure do know how to write songs...

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Never fight with the Invincible

JadeTigress

JadeTigress

kawaii dorei

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not one of your best but decent never the less. keep it up

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  • Dec 20, 2005
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I agree with JadeTigress in the matter that this probably isn't one of your best, but I can say it is a pretty well described poem, even if not a chart topper.

chisaikame

chisaikame

happy camper o^^o

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you know what - when i read your poems i feel like i'm being lulled to sleep.... :) your words are carefully chosen and very sweet! :)

kirei-desu!

*chisai struggling with the little nippongo she knows... (-.-)

gomene! T_T

ego vici mundum

  • Dec 22, 2005

wolfling

wolfling

otonashii okami

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nice one nice indeed

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Thanx to my friend AC2N for the nice nice av as well cute userpage... *kiss and hugs*

  • Dec 24, 2005
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you have done better . come on darlin re do or rewrite another keep it up and get your inspiration back.

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  • Dec 25, 2005

j0n0

j0n0

Increadibly Cute

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Ba humbug! Thats not how my chrismas ended up to be.

An eye for an eye brings justice, but it is compassion that changes a man.

Another point of view doesn't necessarily make yours more or less right.

  • Dec 26, 2005

AC2N

AC2N

Assez de haine...

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niiiiiiiice ! realy good... as usual love !

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I'm a proud moderator of .:| French Tribu |:.
French Tribu decides to make a calendar for 2006, you can find the official site of it -> HERE <- !!

cloud-sama

cloud-sama

The Dark Lord

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i like it of cores i like all your poems and i relly mean it they help me with my poetry.

This world shall burn in the fires of hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Jan 25, 2006

dezidez

dezidez

fanatic

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I still think it brings warmth to it een if it doesnt ryhme... it doesnt matter its still awsome... you brought out the message very clear
I know im late but ... this is very nice Blk
very nicely done... :)

This signature violates the signature guidelines, thus it has been removed.

  • Feb 05, 2006

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