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The smell of a Christmas tree
the twinkle of the lights
and shimmering tinsel
A warm fire
and wrapping paper scattered on the floor
The radio playing Silent Night
as the kids lay together on the floor
their new toys clutched in their arms
Snuggled together, hot cocoa in our hands
watching our kids sleep
as they dream of next years Christmas night
not to much into ryhming sorry if you dont like it
critique if you want be gentle
oh..screw rhyme..I don't care much bout it actually n.n
^^ this poem is good enough..good description of the atmosphere but what do u mean by they dream of next years Christmas
night?
My Newest Submission:Curse Of The Prosperity God
Yes, not too much rhyming.
I think something is missing but just don't know what.
Like the atmo like Milkyo already mentioned but just can't help but think somethin's missing.
? ???? ?? ??? ???? ???? ?? ??? ??? ?? ? ????? ?? ?????
Quote by Milkiyooh..screw rhyme..I don't care much bout it actually n.n
^^ this poem is good enough..good description of the atmosphere but what do u mean by they dream of next years Christmas night?
well if you think ,the kids have already opened their gifts and cant wait till the next Christmas so they can get more gifts. that is the way i used to think when i was a kid wanting to be good for "santa" so i could get more good gifts.
great poem B-lotus! I really like it ;)
the words are truly beautiful!
keep it up!
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I really like this poem, its so christmasy :) Great job!
very good
ghastly xmas, bahhhh humbug lol
it sounds like its a nice little limerick composition of two, it's my first thought.
you've created a small picture of xmas, but where are the deeper meanings behind the words? there's meaning behind the ideas, but the words, the words!?!?!?!
-repeat-
this is very good i like it
You must see death to find life, you must look into evil to find the good
and to see the daylight you must walk through the darkness
thank you AC2N for the awsome av and sig :)
God is the creation of man.
SHOCKED o_0
Didn't expect to read something meant for the kiddies. I thought it would hav a more X-mas feel to it seeing how most of your work flows that way. ~_~
#1 thought it would involve santa and some new toys XXX.
Well..... still nice ... I quess -_-
(JJ :D) hope you don't take seewewus XP
In truth we search for euphoria.
Nice Christmas song...You sure do know how to write songs...
Never fight with the Invincible
not one of your best but decent never the less. keep it up
I agree with JadeTigress in the matter that this probably isn't one of your best, but I can say it is a pretty well described poem, even if not a chart topper.
you know what - when i read your poems i feel like i'm being lulled to sleep.... :) your words are carefully chosen and very sweet! :)
kirei-desu!
*chisai struggling with the little nippongo she knows... (-.-)
gomene! T_T
ego vici mundum
nice one nice indeed
Thanx to my friend AC2N for the nice nice av as well cute userpage... *kiss and hugs*
you have done better . come on darlin re do or rewrite another keep it up and get your inspiration back.
Ba humbug! Thats not how my chrismas ended up to be.
An eye for an eye brings justice, but it is compassion that changes a man.
Another point of view doesn't necessarily make yours more or less right.
niiiiiiiice ! realy good... as usual love !
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French Tribu decides to make a calendar for 2006, you can find the official site of it -> HERE <-
!!
i like it of cores i like all your poems and i relly mean it they help me with my poetry.
This world shall burn in the fires of hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I still think it brings warmth to it een if it doesnt ryhme... it doesnt matter its still awsome... you brought out the
message very clear
I know im late but ... this is very nice Blk
very nicely done... :)
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