I need feedback this is my next story and i want to know what you think of the storyline so far, please dont mind the grammar mistakes i'll fix those when i revise it. HELP PLEASE!
Gemseed
Black and Silver
Epilogue
There was a loud screech that shattered the night air. A red blur passed through the sky exploding into flames. It left
a trail of fire and smoke in the sky, like a flare. Daemon looked up letting his black medium hair fall over his
forehead. The freckles on his face were faint in the dim light that came from the fire in the sky. He grunted and shook
his brother awake, with his gloved hands. Don murmured something then arose rubbing his eyes.
“What is it, Daemon?” he asked sleepily. Daemon struggled but pointed at the sky. He did not speak. Don looked up
at the sky and rubbed his head, running his fingers through his brown curls.
“What is that?” The two stared into the heavens in awe. But neither had any idea what was coming.
The destruction of Arkabond
“Onward, onward men!” shouted the troop leaders. A young man in a black cape and horse ran in front of the six
hordes of men. His hazel eyes were like fire as he stared into the sky. He wore a black helmet that covered his entire
face, except for his eyes. His black armor seemed like a black ocean and his cape a ghostly flag, as the moonlight hit
them. His boots were up to the thigh and his hands were covered with black armor gauntlets that were brimmed with
silver. The firelight in the sky slowly fell from the sky, flying right for him. Another screech shattered the nightly
ambience. He held his hand up stopping the horse on a ridge before the great city of Arkabond. The city was only a mile
away and all he could see were the shadows of the spires of the city, which were stretched far by the moonlight. The six
hordes stopped behind him each a half a mile away.
“Jacob get over here!” he yelled in firm but boyish voice. A pale young man appeared behind him on a black
stallion.
“What is it William?” he asked in a calm and tired voice.
“It’s general Nunez on the battlefield,” he said in a firm voice, “is this it?” William said turning to
him.
“Yes this is it, we attack at dawn.” The young man said removing his helmet that was etched with two dragons
revealing his slick and shiny dirty blonde hair that was combed back. His blue eyes fixed on Nunez with anger as William
spoke.
“No, we attack now!” William said loudly. Jacob scolded him.
“Sir our troops are weak and tired, if Arkabond retaliates we’ll surely lose.” He said with authority. But Nunez
held up his hand and turned to him.
“Who is the general here?” he said bitterly. Jacob hesitated to yell back at him, but turned his horse around
shouting.
“Prepare for battle!”
William grinned as the screech broke out again. He held his hand up again as the fire subsided and a phoenix landed on
his hand.
“Aerion are you prepared for a night of slaughter?” said William, the bird screeched loudly and took off exploding
into flames. William withdrew his black blade; it was covered with scratches and bloodstains. He held it forward,
pointing to Arkabond.
“For our Empire and our nation! We will take the Gemseed! Attack!” he yelled loudly, it was followed by barbaric
screams from the soldiers as they took off on their black horses, withdrawing their bows and flaming arrows, swords, and
axes. The horde moved forward with William in the lead. Jacob stopped at the ridge staring as the small army went forth
to destroy the capitol of a great nation. His blue eyes fixed on William and they narrowed, he ran his hands over his
slick hair and He heaved on his black helmet with anger. Under his breath he bellowed, “Bastard…” then withdrew
his two long swords and took off behind them yelling.
“The Gemseed! Retrieve the Gemseed!”
As they advanced closer, six mages made their way to the frontline, each rose up their right hand and chanted in
harmony. The sound of the horses hooves pounding on the hard ground as they ran, made it difficult to hear what they
were saying. Suddenly red orbs began to emit from their palms, growing and crackling like fire. They all clenched their
wrist with their left hands. William growled and pointed at the city.
“Fire at will!” he yelled as the red orbs flew high into the sky and fell down onto Arkabond like comets from space.
Explosions rattled the night air and shook the earth. William’s eyes narrowed as he saw that guards were already
starting to pour out of the barracks like ants.
He quickly pointed at the barracks. And yelled with all his might.
“Black wind!”
Suddenly an invisible wave of air swept over the shady plains and crashed into the barracks. It collapsed within
seconds, killing all the guards within instantly. Behind him sixty the archers pointed their flaming arrows to the sky,
forming a “V” with their horses as they ran.
Just as William was about to shout orders. A strong wind flew towards the army, knocking the mages that were in the
front, off their horses, along with half of the archers, only to be trampled by the rest of the army. Jacob made his way
through the army till he was beside William.
“Their using magic?!” he yelled in frustration. William turned to him and laughed.
“This is no magic! It is child’s play! It doesn’t deserve to be called magic!” He said through the helmet, which
filtered his voice. Jacob scolded him again.
“Arkabond was not known to have mages! We must call a retreat!” He insisted, yelling over the noise. William snorted
and yelled back at the army behind him.
“Secondary mages ready your magic! Get to the frontlines!”
Jacob stared at him with disbelief. “Are you insane? You’ll kill us all!”
William’s eyes became fiery. “I know what I’m doing Jacob! I would not endanger my army, you of all people should
know that, you are my friend!” yelled William as another row of mages appeared in front of them. Jacob stopped his
horse quickly as they army passed him. He stared at William who continued onward and was yelling for the mages to fire;
More explosions. He stared at his two long blades.
“He’s right… ” The blue moonlight made the flames turn a deep purplish and Jacob quivered.
We should be clashing soon…Then what am I still doing here! He thought, and then took off again toward the army that
appeared to be nothing more than a moving shadow on the plains.
A wave of flaming arrows flew into the sky, like a flaming cloud. And crashed down onto the guards and mages of
Arkabond.
The army was ever so close to Arkabond now, a few feet away, when William yelled on final command.
“Take out your swords and fight for your people! For the Gemseed!” With that the army swooped into Arkabond’s
streets killing everyone in their way. Blood sputtered into the air like a fountain as William stabbed a man in the
chest with his sword and then another man, making it seem like he was holding human shiscabobs. As Jacob came to enter
the city, a guard stood on both sides the narrow passageway, both archers. He held his breath as the string on their
bows plucked and two arrows came flying right for his head. Ducked underneath them both and sliced both of their heads
off at the same time with his long blades.
The earth rattled as mages battled each other. Many horses lay on the streets dead and the soldiers were fighting with
swords. William grunted as he was knocked off his horse onto the cobblestone path. He rolled to the side as an axe came
right for his neck, and wedged itself into the ground. He jumped onto his feet staring at his contender. His great hazel
eyes locked with a pair of beautiful emerald eyes. A young woman stared at him face to face. Her hair was long, black,
and dragged itself on the ground. She wore a strange dress that was scarlet and silky and exposed her smooth tan legs.
She removed the axe with one and with great ease and smiled.
“Isabelle?” he yelled loudly. Her soft pink lips moved but only a roar of anger exploded from them. She ran at him
her great axe going for his neck again. With one hand he grabbed the axe’s blade just as it was about to hit him. A
flurry of sparks flew into the air, and he grabbed it with the other hand, fixing his gaze upon her.
“Isabelle!” He yelled again, but she only replied with more force on the axe making his arms shake. Soldier gathered
behind William as they prepared to attack her. But he looked back angrily.
“GET THE FUCK AWAY! SHE’S MINE!” he yelled twisting the axe making her let go of the axe.
Jacob ran through the streets killing off every guard he saw. They fell before him like rag dolls; his blades were now
drenched with blood, and looked around frantically.
“Where is it? The Gemseed! Damn it!” He stopped his horse and jumped off looking down the streets, seeing no one. He
decided to go to one of the six spires that were placed in the heart of Arkabond. Upon reaching the Spires he met with
six of his comrades. They escorted him into the main tower, dubbed Cratizan’s Eye. Which was place between the five
spires that surrounded it in a perfect circle. He began running up the twisting staircase that spiraled all the way to
the very top.
This must be where the mages are attacking from… maybe the Gemseed is up there.
He thought as he ran up the steps, panting. When he finally reached the top of the staircase, he was miles high into the
sky, the purple flames of Arkabond below him. He winced at the screams, but managed to tune them out.
He turned to the great translucent crystal ball that reflected the purple flames, at the top of the spire. It rested on
top of the spire perfectly surrounded by nothing, without anything to stop it from rolling off the top. He walked over
to it and was about to touch it when he saw something jumping from one roof to another. He watched in awe as the black
shadow jumped from one roof to the very top of Cratizan’s Eye. The figure landed before him, his face covered by a
black scarf and hood. He chanted a few words and Jacob’s comrades fell to the ground dead.
“Shit…a Volkerkeif!” He said preparing to fight. The Volkerkeif laughed and spoke in a deep deadly voice that made
Jacob shake in fear.
“The eye of Cratizan…Enjoy the sight while you still can boy!”
It rushed toward Jacob with great force, knocking him over with its momentum. Jacob struggled to get up, as he felt his
legs get weak. The Volkerkeif touched the eye with its claws, tapping it. It turned to him and smiled.
“The Gemseed will be ours, neither army will retrieve it, your efforts are in vain.”
“Never! It will be ours!” yelled Jacob in rebellion, as he jumped to his feet and rushed at the Volkerkeif with
anger. They began to fight.
Meanwhile, William struggled in his battle with Isabelle, but was slowly overcoming her. She had plenty of strength and
reflexes. At times she would dodge William’s attacks with amazing back flips and rolls.
“Isabelle, I should have known!” He yelled. Their weapons met in another explosion of red-hot sparks. She stayed
quiet and fought him swiftly, her hair waving wildly. She suddenly stopped and stared at him.
“You should have…” Suddenly she began to scale, just by running up it. She vanished into the sea of flames.
William screamed in anger and stabbed his blade into the ground.
Up in Cratizan’s Eye, Jacob fought fiercely with the Volkerkeif. Suddenly he was slashed in his face. It was so hard
you could hear the flesh ripping off his face as the Volkerkeif’s claws soared across his face. Blood shot into the
air as Jacob flew to the edge of the spire. His swords flying out of his hands down into the flames, along with his
helmet, revealing his slick hair combed backwards. He cried out in pain shaking, attempting to hold his face, but when
he touched the raw skin, it stung. Blood fell onto his black armor and onto the floor along with his tears. The
Volkerkeif stood there and laughed. Suddenly it yelled.
“Darshemballa!”
The tower shook violently and began to collapse. In total pain Jacob screamed and jumped off the edge. The tower leaned
to one side then the other. The eye suddenly exploded into an oval blue light with a black flame in the middle of it,
resembling an eye. There was a tremendous roar as it increased its brightness and blinded everything in Arkabond,
covering the buildings, the warriors, the Volkerkeif, and even the flames. It was so bright and beautiful that it could
be seen from space.
In an instant the Light vanished, revealing nothing but the ruins of the city. The Volkerkeif was gone, and the Eye was
shattered on the floor. The flames had vanished; all that remained was the smoke. All the mages, and soldiers of
Arkabond had vanished. Everything was calm again. Aerion flew high above letting his huge wings stretch and let off
flames. The crickets chirped again. Making the scene all the calmer, over the collapsed buildings of Arkabond.
Relina
William dug his way out of the rubble. His black armor had saved his life once again. He looked around at the capitol.
The city had nearly been leveled and his soldiers were all missing. He grunted and pulled his sword from underneath the
debris mumbling, and sheathed it. He looked again around and saw no sign of life.
What the hell was that? He thought. He made his way to Cratizan’s Eye and ran his metal gauntlets over the shattered
crystal shards that were as big as a horse. His hazel eyes wavered as he wondered what could’ve caused that amazing
light. There was a whimper behind him that sent him instantly to withdraw his sword. He turned to see a familiar face
among the debris.
“Jacob!” he shouted running over to his friend. He quickly began pulling him from the debris. After about five
minuets he managed to pull Jacob’s body out. It was limp and pale. His armor had been penetrated leaving part of his
chest showing. William slowly placed Jacob down besides a ruined building and observed the severe cut on his face. Three
long cuts ran across the left side of his face each about an inch long and deep. They bled badly and were covered in
dirt and dust.
“Jacob! Jacob! Are you awake? Can you hear me!” William shouted to Jacob in his filtered voice, through his helmet.
Jacob’s eyes moved underneath his eyelids and he whimpered a bit, but did not speak. William sighed, looking around
for any horses; there were none. William looked up at the Aerion in the sky.
“Get down here!” William commanded, and watched as the phoenix dived right for him. As soon as it landed on his
shoulder it screeched loudly. William plucked a feather from its head. He held the red-orange feather before him. Then
he began to crush the feather. For several minuets he pulverized the feather, like a clump of sand. When he was finally
done, it was nothing but a red dust in his hand. He took the dust and put it in Jacob’s mouth.
That should keep you alive till we reach Relina. He said with a smile. He picked up Jacob in his arms and took off to
the north, Aerion following quickly above him.
Meanwhile, Daemon dug his way out of the rubble looking around. His vision was blurred for a moment, as he rubbed his
head. He stumbled for a bit, before regaining his vision. He looked around seeing the city destroyed. He quivered and
turned around only to see Don pulling himself from the debris. When Don looked up he screamed and fell over crying.
Daemon rushed to his brother’s side and rubbed his back, unable to cry himself. Don shook violently underneath his
hand but slowly he stopped and slouched over. Daemon heard his light snoring and pulled him up over his shoulder. He was
light and short and was easy to carry, even though he was thirteen just a few years younger than Daemon, who was only
sixteen.
Daemon fixed his hair so that it would hang just above his thin black eyebrows. His yellow eyes fixed onto the
barracks. It was completely destroyed, only a wall remained standing. He shook again and noticed that the entire city
was missing. Not one body remained on the streets, no blood, nothing.
“What the hell happened?” he said to himself leaning Don’s body against the wall. He began to try to remember what
exactly happened. There was a flare then a screech. Then men rushed into the streets with black armor. I ran with don
into a building and was knocked out by something…then when I got up…the city was gone…
He slowly sat beside Don and curled into a ball. He could not remember why he had even brought Don to Arkabond. Daemon
began to gently tap his head against the wall, murmuring to himself. Eventually he gave up and fell asleep, but
something was not right, it was strange. Something else was forcing him to sleep.
Three days later…
“Out of my way!” William yelled, carrying Jacob in his arms. He stormed through the castle entrance. Guards followed
him curiously. He slammed open the castle doors and stopped staring down the long hallway that led to the king’s
chamber. He grunted before turning to the hallway on his left. He ran down the hall, into a room full of beds.
“He needs a healer!” he yelled placing Jacob’s body on the bed. A young woman about William’s age ran over. She
wore a white robe that was brimmed with black metal.
“Master Jacob!” She yelled in fright. She turned to William. “What the hell did you do!”
William grunted, “There’s no time get the other healers in here and help him!” With that he turned and ran out of
the room. He ran back to the entrance and looked down the long hallway to the king’s chamber. He slowly began to walk
down it, as the guards followed him their weapons drawn and they murmured.
William stopped at the large black oak doors that led into the king’s chambers. He stood up straight and took a deep
breath. With ease he opened the massive doors. Instantly six guards held their swords toward his neck. William growled.
There was a firm voice behind the guards.
“General William Nunez! How dare you!”
The guards cleared a path as a short man came rushing toward him, jabbering.
“I’m not here to speak with you, Cresol!” William roared.
“The hell you are! You’re lucky I don’t remove your head! Your lucky the king wants to speak with you!” he
yelled in anger. William rolled his eyes and brushed past Cresol. William walked down the long red carpet, lined with
guards, until he came to a man whose eyes fixed upon him. Upon his head was a crown that had six dragons bearing a black
stone, and he sat on a black throne. His hair was short and silvery and his black eyes were full of wisdom and courage.
William kneeled before him and stared at the ground until the man spoke.
“General Nunez,” he paused for a minute to watch as William stood up and stared at him. “Who gave you permission
to steal my soldiers?” he said calmly. William began to speak, but his voice shook.
“Your highness, I received word of the Gemseed being held in Arkabond, I was anxious so I took one thousand
men…”He stopped. The king shifted in his seat and waved for him to continue. “We were able to reach Arkabond in
two days, and we were able to reach it without losing any soldiers.” William continued, “ The night we arrived was
the night we attacked, Arkabond had no chance at knowing we were coming, and we were covered by the cloak of the night.
But as we advanced, to our surprise the capitol was able to mobilize, and they had mages.” The king shifted once more,
intrigued by with what William was talking about. “ We battled for about two hours before a strange light consumed to
city. When I came to, the city was rubble and Cratizan’s Eye had fallen. I found Jacob amongst the debris.” The king
halted him and spoke, “What of my other men? And the Gemseed?” William grunted and didn’t respond. The king rose
to his feet and walked over to William, and placed a hand on his shoulder.
“William…You are a very good general, but you are not the leader of this country, I am the king of Relina.” He
stopped and watched as William looked away. “Do not be ashamed William you are still a very valuable piece to this
country. I will leave you off with a punishment this time. But next time I will have your head”
Cresol scrambled down jabbering, “Your highness! You must…” The king silenced him with his hand. “For now
William is condemned to the castle, to be followed at all times by two guards. If he so chooses to kill them off I will
behead him. It is declared.” With that he sat back down on the throne. “Tomorrow at noon report back here with
Jacob, We must talk…” He said rubbing his head as if e had a headache. William bowed and left the room quickly, two
guards rushing behind him.