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how can we prevent making rotten backsatbbing and mean friends?

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kuchukuTulip

kuchukuTulip

proud to be a muslim!

umm.... i haven't been able to make UN-backstabbing or UN-mean friends both online or in daily life and most of my friends sucked during school.
i was wondering, (if this thread isnt closed soon), if you guys can give me any advice on how to beware of such kind of people.
P.S; when i say mean, i mean, saying or doing something that hurts the other person.

angelxxuan

angelxxuan

ぬいぐるみ !

I've always been in the same boat, gotten use to it actually, I have one true friend which truly does shock me daily.

the best thing to do would not take everything they say or do so literal, take things as a grain of sand and don't rush things when it comes to friendship, people have good and bad days. as for backstabbers, there are so many, just have to travel around until you find people that aren't like that, even myself have trouble finding those, I prefer to see the attack coming myself, no need to stab me in the back. and as for friends which aren't mean, other than them having a bad day, they are probably in the bully depart or borderline bully.

you surround yourself by people which make you feel good, avoiding those who don't. online, depending on the site, you can consciously avoid them, don't take everything they state personally or come to a mutual agreement and be mature adults about the situation and realize people come from different backgrounds and there is no one which has not endured some sort of hardship.

hope this helps some

BuBbLeS!


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Princess-Sophitia

Princess-Sophitia

Goddess of the Sea

Ohhh... So basically, you've had bad experiences in the past with friends turning out to be less-than-friendly? D:

Unfortunately, I'm not too good with people like that, as in real life, I have three very close friends who I can trust, and online... Well, I guess online I have never had a problem, it seems people I don't like I realize right away I don't like them, and people who are nice and trustworthy seem to be that way right away, too... :o
So I become friends with them...

I really don't know what advice to give you, can I ask how some of your friends betrayed you or mistreated you? D:

Signature Image "I know I'm not strong, but I'm cute!"- Italy, Hetalia: Axis Powers

kuchukuTulip

kuchukuTulip

proud to be a muslim!

sorry leaf cant take any names.

DarkGSSJBeast

DarkGSSJBeast

Εις Tο Επανιδείν

You will meet many people in your life... And from those only some and limited people will have your heart and your respect..
You cannot really control who are those but can understand and feel of what kind of people you are messing..
Well I got backstabbed pretty mush times and I am in a level that I don't care for those anymore.. but hey thats life missy ^.^
You will meet some wonderful people soon but thats not something you can control.. It will come with the time.. ;)

*.*.* It only hurts when you start pretending it doesn't *.*.*
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Princess-Sophitia

Princess-Sophitia

Goddess of the Sea

No, I meant, what did they do that was "backstabbing"? :o

You don't have to say if you don't want

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kuchukuTulip

kuchukuTulip

proud to be a muslim!

i guess i will pass.

Princess-Sophitia

Princess-Sophitia

Goddess of the Sea

Okies then, unfortunately, without knowing that, I really can't help very much... :(

I guess I myself don't have that much experience in that, or I'm a very forgiving person...

If I ever do anything that's backstabbing, feel free to punch me in the face ^^

Signature Image "I know I'm not strong, but I'm cute!"- Italy, Hetalia: Axis Powers

kuchukuTulip

kuchukuTulip

proud to be a muslim!

eventually 95% of the people forgive.
hmm wanted to know what kind of back stabbing

example 1; a friend of mine who seems pretty nice and sweet is the class pets friend and is with her mostly all the time at school but she comes to me to back bite about the teacher's pet.

example 2; the teacher's pet suddenly calls u her friend (when u know something she doesn't) and asks around but never answers when u ask her something.

example 3; two girls convince the whole class on not doing the home work while doing the crash course and the next day they have done their home work and we get off with the punishment and the disappointment of the teacher.
i think that will be enough regarding the school.

Princess-Sophitia

Princess-Sophitia

Goddess of the Sea

Ohhh, that is pretty mean... Well, again, I'm sorries, I guess I just haven't run into any backstabbing people O.O;

Sorries I can't give you advice :(

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XAngelKnight1913

XAngelKnight1913

Old Knight

My explanation or point of view might be too long. ^^; So if you REALLY want to read it, then I can't stop you....but be warned.


Well, first there are always a reason why people (or friends) would do something terrible to their other friend. Hopefully good reasons like they didn't know it was mean or backstabbing, something happen in their life, or some other reasons. Also when becoming friends with someone, you need to get to know each other, both good point and bad. If you cannot handle their bad points then don't either don't consider them as friend or still consider them as friends with bad points that you can't stand for. If you could handle the bad points or they are willing to change, then I guess it's ok to be friends and hopefully built up a good relationship with them.. The bad things they do to you are things they learn through experience in their life. Yes it could be bad enough to just slap a door in front of them, but usually it shouldn't be entirely their fault for acting that way.

I would tell one of my life story, but it's too long and would bore you. So my not too good advise to you is that friendship is built over time. People who is your friend the next day are more like acquaintance. The amount and what good deed they do to you are their commitment to being your friend. If their good deed are like picking up your pencil, helping out your homework, or something small then they are good friends. Those who help you in desperate situation are great friends. There is no need to explain best friend.

Don't follow this info completely. Just think about what I said and make you own judgment. Oh, and take consideration of other people opinion of course. ^^;

The Insanity and The Possibilities
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Dreadwave

Dreadwave

Hunter of snark bait.

/facepalm. Fail edit, will fix later /rages out.

I guess I have an advantage over most people. At least I know I'm not getting a happy ending.Signature Image

Sorry that happened, and those girls seem to enjoy rebel [But what comes around comes back around], yet backstabbers "smile in your face", and you never know who they really are. Well, I'm careful with ppl I put myself around, or talk to. It is easy for me to sense who's not worth my friendship..
If I noticed their bad points from the beginning, I'll distant myself from them.
As for me, I don't see many ppl as friends. Many ppl I see as acquaintances. [There is no such thing of having a thousand friends; only a few.] I have several true friends who love and care for me as I love and care for them.
Do your best Tulip; if they are mean and back-stabbing, distant yourself and be proud~

Marked by the outsider.Signature Image

UberDog

UberDog

I Walk Alone...

You have to understand that people are unpredictable and you can not formulate a plan of action on your part that will prevent other people from "Backstabbing" or "Being Mean". It just can't be done. All you can do is offer your friendship in good faith and hope that the people you give it to have a good understanding of what being a good friend is. Other than that it is pure Chaos and you can not control how others will proceed with their lives...

The really Good True Exceptional Friends are few and far between...Cherish them well.

Knowledge and Time are the Keys to Wisdom.Signature Image

UsagixKitsune

UsagixKitsune

nsɐƃıxʞıʇsnuǝ

It's easy to spot when someone is "backstabbing" you or being "mean" to you.
It's alot harder to spot when YOU'RE "backstabbing" or being "mean" to them.

Just the way you might not realise you're being mean to a friend, a friend might not realise they're being mean to you.

If you get to a point where everyone seems to be treating you badly you need to take a look at the way you're treating other people. You might not be the saint you think you are in other people's eyes.

angelxxuan

angelxxuan

ぬいぐるみ !

once again you make an excellent point usagi (as you do in previous posts I've seen you post in)

sometimes when people are being mean to someone it's because the person is being mean to them first, you get what you receive. sometimes that's not the case, sometimes people are mean based upon how they are raised and they are too lazy to break this path or they have had it happen so often to them they feel this is their defense, also can be broken from, just takes time, hard work and walking a path based upon proper actions of positiveness not negativeness.

BuBbLeS!


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Quote by UsagixKitsuneIt's easy to spot when someone is "backstabbing" you or being "mean" to you.
It's alot harder to spot when YOU'RE "backstabbing" or being "mean" to them.

Just the way you might not realise you're being mean to a friend, a friend might not realise they're being mean to you.

If you get to a point where everyone seems to be treating you badly you need to take a look at the way you're treating other people. You might not be the saint you think you are in other people's eyes.

Excellent and profound point. :)

Marked by the outsider.Signature Image

Darthas

Retired Moderator

Darthas

レキシコン

You're asking a question which has no answer, because it's impossible to know at any given time if you're being 'backstabbed' unless you're told. Even if you're told, the guy could be screwing with you just to 'be mean'.
I think Google is a better choice if you want to ask a question like this.

[20:54] Lexicon: I may be 3rd place in the popularity poll but at NASA, the # order is 3>2>1.
[20:56] DXBlair: its a placement poll..not a countdown idiot
[SIG design by Valuna]
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kuchukuTulip

kuchukuTulip

proud to be a muslim!

thank u for posting ur views, all of the users above(except dathas) has a good point.

Darthas

Retired Moderator

Darthas

レキシコン

I have a point, you just failed to see it.

[20:54] Lexicon: I may be 3rd place in the popularity poll but at NASA, the # order is 3>2>1.
[20:56] DXBlair: its a placement poll..not a countdown idiot
[SIG design by Valuna]
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kuchukuTulip

kuchukuTulip

proud to be a muslim!

oh then good for me.

angelxxuan

angelxxuan

ぬいぐるみ !

to be honest, for once darth made a good point. I mean I don't always know I'm being backstabbed until it's too late and the damage has been done. and yes people have enjoyed messing with my emotions and mind just to be mean and make them feel more superior, although sometimes those which fall into that department are trolls.

remember, personal conversations can help a post to get locked, all personal conversations are better transpired in guestbooks or pm. all personal attacks which happen on the site make certain to forward them to the mods and they will look into the situation and handle it accordingly. anything which happens off the site pretty much didn't happen.

BuBbLeS!


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Darthas

Retired Moderator

Darthas

レキシコン

Quote by angelxxuanto be honest, for once darth made a good point.


FFFFFFFFFF----

Quote by angelxxuanI mean I don't always know I'm being backstabbed until it's too late and the damage has been done. and yes people have enjoyed messing with my emotions and mind just to be mean and make them feel more superior

Thanks for typing out my point, I figured he would understand from my initial post but.. guess not.

[20:54] Lexicon: I may be 3rd place in the popularity poll but at NASA, the # order is 3>2>1.
[20:56] DXBlair: its a placement poll..not a countdown idiot
[SIG design by Valuna]
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ShroomX

Scanner

ShroomX

Its impossible to spot those so called friends..i myself was in several situations and saw some too!
The only thing you can do to avoid these(not 100%effective) is never put trust in anyone but you..just keep relationships in a light manner!i have lots of friends but i only put my complete trust in 2 of them!

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