#1 -- your parents are just concerned about you [maybe too concerned -- but that's what a parent is] ^_^ they want
the best for you -- however they have to understand that maybe you will learn best if you did things on your own and
learn from your mistakes and also if they help guide and NOT dictate to you what you should do.
coming from a family where my parents told us what to do and not give advice -- i understand how you feel -- however --
i'm so used to them fussing and yelling at me that i've become immune to it lol -- BUT -- i was the most
rebellious one out of all my siblings and well -- i've learned from my mistakes -- i don't recommend doing
something you want to do if it is going to harm you in any way -- your parents will get over it [like most parents] and
they'll forgive you and love you still -- as parents they're not gonna just leave you [unless your mom/dad are
totally stubborn or something] *this is all from experience* -- also -- whether or not you want to be babied by your
parents after you've graduated from h.s. or gone to college for a year -- when you're older -- you'll
learn to appreciate what they've done for you all these years [gosh i sound old!! T_T] but my parents have
supported me from the time i was born to even now [married and just bought a new house] i lived with them for 1 year
after i got married and you kno -- when i moved out -- i realized how much they have supported me [my husband calls it
spoiled] but i call it support -- they did everything in their power to help me in life and help me become the person i
am today -- sooooo [my point is] although you may disobey your parents -- they will still love you -- and it may take a
long while for them to let go of the hurt [if you disobey them] or to forgive you for not listening to them -- just
remember to appreciate their love and what they are doing for you. And yes --if you are still under their roof and they
are helping pay for your schooling -- you guys should compromise something together and not just have it 1 way -- for
the bes interest of you and them -- not quite sure how close you are to your parents -- but i wish ou the best of luck
sweetie -- and hope that things will go well for you !! ^_^ *hugs*
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Hmm... I think it's best for you to have a heart to heart conversation with your parent. I'm sure things will work out right in the end.
Unit No. - RX-93
Unit Name - Nu Gundam- Currently watching: Star Driver, Sengoku Basara, Denpa Onna to Seishun Otoko
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mel it's your life you need to do what you think is right, but man dont take this personally but at this monment you are whipped.
but anyways mel it's your life do what you want to do not what your parents want.
- May 17, 2005
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well my parents and i dont have the family typical relation
i´m always wrong and they right
@#$%&* them
you know?
anyway i always make my will and i dont matter what will happen later becouse i like to do the things i like and dont make the things my parent says
i dont hate them, i forgive them becouse they can't understand a teenage feelings and they forget how is to be a teenagertake care mel and to the others make yours dreams come true!!!!
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i totally understand how you feel :( sometimes parents care too much to let their children go. my parents are good examples, especially my mum, she tries to control everything, including my dad :P i'm not in college yet, but i'll be out from secondary school next year, and i wonder what my mother will do to me. i actually want to take graphic design, but she thinks that is too risky because there are so many graphic designers now. so...i will probably be stuck with something i don't want . but i'll try to talk her out of it when the time comes XD
anyway, my advice is, try to talk to your mother. tell her what you feel, and how you would like to be treated. take it slow, small steps till your mother sees that you are sincere in what you want.
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Quote by melmachine18- Have any of you had this feeling after your parents told you something you didn't want to hear or made you do something you didn't want to do?
Well, yes. They don't think that I shouldn't spend so much time on the computer
Quote by melmachine18- In the end, after doing that something (only if you did it), did you feel any better that you did it, or did it make you feel worse?
I continue to spend time on the computer, but not so much as I spend on the computer before.
Quote by melmachine18- Put yourself in a position in which you're going to college and are living with parents. Would you let them decide where they will send you, or will you decide where to go and your parents must accept it?
Well, it depends on, if the college is good, that my parents want to send me, is it ok. But if it wouldn't be a college, that I want to go on, I would not be so happy. In that case, I would try to talk to my parents, an say that I want to go on another college.
Quote by melmachine18- Do you think that after going to college for one year or even graduating from high school, you're more capable of handling yourself, or do you still need, or even want, to be babied by your parents?
Yes, I'm more capable of handling myself. You must learn then to take care of yourself, and not have parents, that take care of you like a baby.I'm sorry to hear that, melmachine 18, but, well, your parents care allot about you. Sometimes can that be hard to understand and tiresome too...
Member of: ~Make a friend~ ~Serenity~ ~Japanese~ ~FinalFantasyFans~
I'll see you all around, people! :D
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ne ne... gomenasai... I'm really sorry if I didn't have the time to open my notifications list... x.x
Quote by melmachine18- Have any of you had this feeling after your parents told you
something you didn't want to hear or made you do something you didn't
want to do? - In the end, after doing that something (only if you did
it), did you feel any better that you did it, or did it make you feel
worse?
Yeah... exactly how I feel now... well, my dad hasn't told me anything, rather, I sort of accidentally found out... I haven't done anything but talk to my friends about it, and somehow, they managed to make me smile... ^_^Quote by melmachine18- Put yourself in a position in which you're going to college and are
living with parents. Would you let them decide where they will send
you, or will you decide where to go and your parents must accept it?er... I don't have any problems with this... in college... I want to go to the University of the Philippines... and, I was supposed to take up Journalism, but he didn't want me to, and after finding out that most journalists were killed in our country, I gave it up... so I'll be taking up political science, which is totally fine by me.
Quote by melmachine18- Do you think that after going to college for one year or even
graduating from high school, you're more capable of handling yourself,
or do you still need, or even want, to be babied by your parents?
I'm also asking for opinions.
NO WAY. Sure, the occasional encouragement and occasional caress would do, but not mollycoddling."A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." - Lao Tzu
"A journey of a thousand miles...
is better in a car."
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you always come up with such interesting subjects.
well now first to what you wrote. it looks like your mom is having you good under control xD
and looking at all the other threads that you opened, and now when i read this, i realy wonder.
i mean you think that you can handle things yourself:Quote by melmachine18I think I'm more capable of handling myself these days. My parents already know that I need them because they do not think I can fend for myself. My first year in college has helped me understand what it really means to be on my own with the exception of going to work and paying bills, but I am much more responsible nowadays.
but looking at the part here:
Quote by melmachine18She's sending me to a school I might not be interested in, and she's making me go to college close to home.
and here:
Quote by melmachine18She tells me that I need counseling; sure I may need help, but I need good help, help in which I can benefit from and in which I can feel better. I'm only going to tell the counselor the same things I should tell my parents.
well from this i can see that you can't even stand up for yourself and say "no!" talk with them, tell them how you feel and what you want, because it is up to you if you will be the one that will be studying.but you don't say anything you are just quiet and the part with the counseling just proves it. because if you know where you would like to go go there, you don't need any counselors.but if there is a possibility that you don't know where you would like to go this thread is pointles, atleast from my point of view. so i don't think that you are capable to handle anything yourself, because (ok. this isn't that much to the topic but anyway), if i were your age and i would have a friend that i would like to visit, i would go there and visit that person and it wouldn't mater if her or she would be living on the other side of the earth. and looking at you you can't even visit your girlfriend that you love so much. so i realy don't understand you.
now don't take it to hard but that's the way i see it, sorry.now to the questions:
Quote by melmachine18- Have any of you had this feeling after your parents told you something you didn't want to hear or made you do something you didn't want to do?
well they did tell me to do somethings i didn't wan't to do but they never forced me to do it. so i can say that i never had that feeling. and because this is so i don't have to anwser the 2nd question :PQuote by melmachine18- Put yourself in a position in which you're going to college and are living with parents. Would you let them decide where they will send you, or will you decide where to go and your parents must accept it?
well my parents accept my decidions. and they will support me no mater for which school i will decide.Quote by melmachine18- Do you think that after going to college for one year or even graduating from high school, you're more capable of handling yourself, or do you still need, or even want, to be babied by your parents?
well one is capable of handling most of the things but i don't think that one is completly independant at that time.
as for me i'll wait an see how it'll turn out.- May 17, 2005
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My parents are likr that and theu are alwasy making me do things I dont wast to do.
Sorry to hear about the colledge thing but you may be able to make it work to your advantage and tale other coarses.Spartens The future of all warfare. Who's gona stop him.
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Quote by melmachine18- Have any of you had this feeling after your
parents told you something you didn't want to hear or made you do
something you didn't want to do? - In the end, after doing that
something (only if you did it), did you feel any better that you did
it, or did it make you feel worse?
- Put yourself in a position in which you're going to college and are
living with parents. Would you let them decide where they will send
you, or will you decide where to go and your parents must accept it?
- Do you think that after going to college for one year or even
graduating from high school, you're more capable of handling yourself,
or do you still need, or even want, to be babied by your
parents?
Yeah, I used to hate my mother when she forced me to practice the piano, I think one of the reason I quit playing it is because my mom always seemed to force me, and i was at the age when rebelling seems to be the right thing to do... Used to hate my parents not to let me go out with frens and trust me to take care of myself... Now when I look back, I know that they did all that for my sake, for my well being.. It's true that I used to hate being taken care of, but now, I feel happy they did cos it shows how much they care for me...I will not let my parents decide on where I should go for my education, but it seems that they have won their case against me twice.. not that I hate living here or my friends, but I just want something more.. I guess I can kinda relate to your feeling... Anyway, it seems that my parents are going to try to decide on where I should go for university education next year, but am not giving up on this one... I felt that tho I gained a lot frm my experiences for the past few years in where I am now, am sure that I can gain more experiences with going somewhere else (yeah, we have the same feeling)...I will not want to lose another battle on this case, I would convince them that they should lemme go....
Erm, I am capable of handling myself, even now I am one nation apart from my parent, but they just dont seem that I am good enough to handle myself somewhere further away from them... I know they are worried but well.... wait, I strayed out of the question... In any case, though I am capable of handling myself, parents supports are still needed, esp in financial matter...
- May 17, 2005
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My parents have their own .... thoughts about where i should go, who to be with, and stuff like that, and well... it's kind of funny, because if they didn't tell me what to do, i wouldn't know what i don't want to do... basically saying, they're kind of putting me on track to go where I want to go by showing me where i don't want to go :) .... (i hope i'm making sense here) and well, if we can't agree on something... we usually work it out lik a week or two after the argument . :( ... (i'm not sure if any of this helps.... )
"I'm back... and this time.... with a vengeance..... nobody shall get in my way... for i have the most powerful weapon of all... the VIBRATING SHEEP OF DEATH!"
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Quote by Kiakowell from this i can see that you can't even stand up for yourself and say "no!" talk with them, tell them how you feel and what you want, because it is up to you if you will be the one that will be studying.but you don't say anything you are just quiet and the part with the counseling just proves it. because if you know where you would like to go go there, you don't need any counselors.but if there is a possibility that you don't know where you would like to go this thread is pointles, atleast from my point of view. so i don't think that you are capable to handle anything yourself, because (ok. this isn't that much to the topic but anyway), if i were your age and i would have a friend that i would like to visit, i would go there and visit that person and it wouldn't mater if her or she would be living on the other side of the earth. and looking at you you can't even visit your girlfriend that you love so much. so i realy don't understand you.
Perhaps you're right. I've only been telling my mother bits and pieces of things, but it seems the simplest but most effective response is to say "no". If I can say no to her, then maybe she would ask me why, and I could give her my input, which I'm sure she would give me the same feedback that she's giving me now. I know I'm capable of handling myself, but by the way you've put it, you think that I should be taken under her wing for an even longer period of time. I would like my parents to support me financially until I can get my own place, but otherwise, I want to do things on my own accord.
Furthermore, you brought up a topic not even relevant to my thread, but I may as well respond. May I ask why is it that I have to see my girlfriend? Why can't she come to see me? Sure, I'm committed to this relationship, but if she wants to be committed as well, she should at least put in some effort to try to see me. My girlfriend was supposed to have spoken to her parents before, but she hasn't done so. My sister thinks that, in a way, my girlfriend isn't giving me that respect. I'm busting my butt to try to be with her, perhaps so much as to the point in which I'm ready to throw my life away if everything goes wrong. However, to do so, I must get past my parents because they don't like it when I go out into the world without any prior knowledge from other people, especially if I haven't seen them. I also have to get past her parents for one unfortunate reason.
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The most important thing to note here is that your parents are making you go through all this because they actually care about you. Parents, being older than us tend to have the impression they're "wiser" cos they have had more experience with real life... Its not something totally untrue, as they themselves has made mistakes in the past and they're rather afraid that you'd make the same mistakes as them. They want to take care of you forever and give you whatever they think is best for you. Mostly, they're overdoing too much of a good thing and have started becoming a little "possesive" as someone somewhere mentioned. Our lives must ultimately be our own.
A lot of parents have a certain fear that they may "lose" their children completely after a certain age and so are afraid to let them go even the littlest bit. Whatever, the case, the best way out of this situation is to prove to them that you're a responsible adult who can take care of himself. I'm not asking you to do something stupid or reckless, because that'll only show them you're still a little kid. The best way is to cool it a little and talk to them rationally about what plans you have for your future. What are your thoughts about certain topics. Personally, I had to actually help my parents solve a problem they had at work before they finally acknowledged that I had become an adult. And yes, once they'd acknowledged that I was an adult, they decided that I should be able to make decisions for myself...
Another thing is to reassure them that despite that, you'd still love and respect them. Parents care too much for you and it would be wrong to just leave them behind just because there is a certain way you wanna go. We all, in general, really owe our parents a lot. Many of us may not realize it, but its true. Heck, the only reason we're here was because our parents were around.
Becoming an "adult" in our own parents eyes is something a lot of people find very challenging. If you wish to step out to the greater world without having to sever all ties with your parents, then its something you must go through. However, there is a definite kind of satisfaction in knowing that the people who have taken care of you till now is finally willing to acknowledge that you would be able to take care of yourself. Sometimes, I would even think its good to think things through a bit more. Having the care and concern of one's parents is something precious. Of course, they'd still care about you after they let you leave them, but its different. You(refering to mel), seem to have thought it through rather thoroughly though, so I will wish you all the best here.
Life is tranquil, Death is peaceful...
Its the transition that is troublesome...
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Quote by melmachine18Furthermore, you brought up a topic not even relevant to my thread, but I may as well respond. May I ask why is it that I have to see my girlfriend? Why can't she come to see me? Sure, I'm committed to this relationship, but if she wants to be committed as well, she should at least put in some effort to try to see me. She was supposed to have spoken to her parents before, but she hasn't done so. My sister thinks that, in a way, my girlfriend isn't giving me that respect. I'm busting my butt to try to be with her, perhaps so much as to the point in which I'm ready to throw my life away if everything goes wrong.
i don't know isn't it that you wan't to see her? i mean you wan't to see her right? so go to her.
because i would visit one person so or so just for fun(even if the person wouldn't want to see me*grins*)
well then, what if she is thinking the same way, what if she is waiting for you to come to her, and she is having the same toughts as you do.
i mean if love can move mountains then you can sit on a plane and go there.
but since you are having doubts, you two can both go half way there and meet on a x place.
and if i would meet someone on the internet and i would like him i wouldn't go telling my parents about it, like they have to know everything, well there where you said it to your parents knowing that they won't support you...........that much, it just shows that you are not that able to handle things yourself, i mean since you two haven't even met, there is no need to tell your parents about it, not now.
o and don't throw your life away, but then again, a simple visit wouldn't throw your life away, except in a case that the plane would have an accident, but that then is off topic.- May 17, 2005
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hi hi did i mised something?
if i read this i don't now what to think
Quote by Kiakoi don't know isn't it that you wan't to see her? i mean you wan't to see her right? so go to her.
because i would visit one person so or so just for fun(even if the person wouldn't want to see me*grins*)
well then, what if she is thinking the same way, what if she is waiting for you to come to her, and she is having the same toughts as you do.
i mean if love can move mountains then you can sit on a plane and go there.
but since you are having doubts, you two can both go half way there and meet on a x place.
and if i would meet someone on the internet and i would like him i wouldn't go telling my parents about it, like they have to know everything, well there where you said it to your parents knowing that they won't support you...........that much, it just shows that you are not that able to handle things yourself, i mean since you two haven't even met, there is no need to tell your parents about it, not now.
o and don't throw your life away, but then again, a simple visit wouldn't throw your life away, except in a case that the plane would have an accident, but that then is off topic.
there is something missing Kiako lets think what hellp you with that the first letter is M....
ok ok forget it
now mel i think she has something right^^
- May 17, 2005
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Quote by melmachine18- Have any of you had this feeling after your parents told you something you didn't want to hear or made you do something you didn't want to do?
yea...but sometimes comes with benefits...
Quote by melmachine18- In the end, after doing that something (only if you did it), did you feel any better that you did it, or did it make you feel worse?
i can't really answer it.....
Quote by melmachine18- Put yourself in a position in which you're going to college and are living with parents. Would you let them decide where they will send you, or will you decide where to go and your parents must accept it?
I basical decide what college i go to...since i am not the smartest kid in my family(my bro and sis are going to a freaken good college) prehaps a college with my cousins (basically medical school)
Quote by melmachine18- Do you think that after going to college for one year or even graduating from high school, you're more capable of handling yourself, or do you still need, or even want, to be babied by your parents?
I think i would be a little capable to go on my own, but i would still need some guidance from my parents
retire
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Parents are huge problems to me. Sometimes, they spoil me, other times, they sit me out and act as if I'm not here. Just because I'm the oldest, means that they leave me out of the familly...
~*Watashi wa Arufonse to Edowado suki desu...
~*ED AND AL ARE SUCH BELLE GARCONS!! XD- May 17, 2005
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Quote: - Have any of you had this feeling after your parents told you something you didn't want to hear or made you do something you didn't want to do?
I think everyone must feel that at some point although maybe not with something so important.
When I was young, I was always made to practice piano and do work everyday. Like most young kids, of course I didn't want to.
Now at this age I'm given lots of freedom. I choose what and where I want to study and what I want to be. Realistically, we're all no longer kids. The only person who really knows what you want is yourself at this point.Quote: - In the end, after doing that something (only if you did it), did you feel any better that you did it, or did it make you feel worse?
When I was younger and my parents made me take part in this and that, practice piano and violin etc I didn't want to and I'd always feel angry at my parents for making me do it.
But now I'm older and maturer I see it's extremely useful and everything they made me do was for my own future (well almost everything).Quote: - Put yourself in a position in which you're going to college and are living with parents. Would you let them decide where they will send you, or will you decide where to go and your parents must accept it?
Personally, I would never let anyone tell me where to go to uni. I'll go wherever I please thank you very much. So long as I don't make such a stupid choice that would ruin my life forever, my parents won't force me to change my mind.
Quote: - Do you think that after going to college for one year or even graduating from high school, you're more capable of handling yourself, or do you still need, or even want, to be babied by your parents?
At this age, everyone ought to strive to be independent. We all have to leave home at some point so making the transition gradually by going to college/uni whilst still being supported in a way by your parents is a good thing. I certainly want to go off and experience life on my own ^__^
- May 17, 2005
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Wait a minute... you say that your goal is to beomce a graphic designer, but that's not what you want to do? Am I reading this right?
Brownie the Cat
- May 17, 2005
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1.-because to each time that it passes in my family, that is to say it is already habit and anything astonishes me that me dijan things that I don't want to listen
2.-later of that I do make I feel well because you that I am responsible and do I have a because I make it, it is (am I well conciente of that), so why it should feel bad of something that I have made?
3.-because I analyze my situation if I have to pay me to go to another country to know but, because I leave, but on the contrary I don't have the enough resources to leave and I have left that of my house close, because neither way to the one that this near my house
4.-i like from time to time my parents to spoil me to feel that I am alive and not alone.
Of course that I am able to take care alone
What I sit down is that your parents love you a lot and they don't want to get lost
en español1.-Pues a cada rato eso pasa en mi familia, o sea ya es costumbre y nada me asombra de que me dijan cosas que no quiero escuchar
2.-Despues de lo que hago me siento bien porque se que soy responsable y tengo un porque lo hago, es( estoy bien conciente de eso), asi que ¿por qué deberia sentirme mal de algo que he hecho?
3.-Pues analizo mi situacion si tengo para pagarme ir a otro pais para saber mas, pues me voy, pero por el contrario no tengo los suficientes recursos para irme y me queda cerca el de mi casa, pues ni modo al que este cerca de mi casa
4.-Me gusta de vez en cuando que me mimen mis padres para sentirme que estoy vivo y no solo .
Por supuesto que soy capaz de cuidarme solo
Lo que siento es que tus padres te quieren mucho y no te quieren perderTodo depende de uno
"Miembro de: [Hispanime]"
"Miembro de: [Ecchi-club]"- May 18, 2005
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I also had gone through that. Before I entered college, I also had a fight with my father. He wanted and insisted me to take a course I never wanted.
When I turned 18, I thought that my parents will be a little loose on me. XO But I was wrong. Instead, they're choking me more by always checking on what I do, where I go, blah... I sometimes think that if they do love me as their child, why can't they trust me enough?
Oh yeah, talking about college, I actually took an entrance exam to a certain university. I really wanted to be there since it's seas away from home. But when I found out that I didn't make it, i cried for a month because that means I'd still be stuck up here and endure a tormenting life with my folks. And that's it, I ended up in a university in my place.
I know that maybe what our parents do is for our own good but I believe that they should give us some room to think for ourselves. And when we do have to make decisions, they should listen to us. They can always counsel their children in a nice way.
What do we need?====>TRUST & support- May 19, 2005
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my dad is cool but my mom is way too overprotective.
There was glitter everywhere! It looked like somebody stabbed
a pixie.
Roadie of .::DarK LeaF::.- May 19, 2005
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i go where i want to go if my parents doesnt like it we talk about it and find a peacful solution for each other....well im only 16 and i finish highschool so i dont have a car yet......but i still went to the college that i wanted but commuting suks....i think you should tell ur parents what you want bcuz wants the point of doing something you dont want....YOU CAN DO IT NEL!!!......yea
- May 20, 2005
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Quiken
Dark Wanderer
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its almost the same with any parent..they want their child 2 take after them.. but hey, u cant blame them..if it wasn't for them u wouldn't b alive
No light.
No shadow.
No World.
- May 20, 2005
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