Something bothersome...

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SilentMasamune

SilentMasamune

I'm all washed up. . .

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Over the last year, one thing has been bothering me a lot. My mother keeps telling me that even after turning 18, I'm still legally a minor. Now, I have reviewed an article about being a minor in the US, and right now, I don't really know what to think:
http://usmarriagelaws.com/search/united_states/emancipation_of_minors/index.shtml

The article states that after turning 18, you are able to leave the custody of ones who take care of you, such as from those who are no longer minors. I don't like to be considered a minor because I feel that I'm able to handle myself more than I could do in the past. However, it seems that my parents still think I cannot make it on my own, even if I tried and vowed to do my very best. Thus, while I'm under their care, I still can't do many of the things I want to do, such as traveling by myself or even having them pay for my college and I could go where I want. What can I do? What do you think about this?

Edit: Topic slightly revised to a more personal perspective...

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  • Jun 27, 2005

shinsengumi

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You should change the title of your thread from "Minorities in the US" to "Minors in the US" because the two words mean completely different things.

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comprogrammer

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Quote by shinsengumiYou should change the title of your thread from "Minorities in the US"
to "Minors in the US" because the two words mean completely different
things.


yeah hes got a good point there

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  • Jun 27, 2005

Alvien

Alvien

The Cynical Shoyu

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I'm 18, and not a minor. It is all on your outlook, not others. I wasn't aa minor when I was 17.. Well, in the Legal sense I was, but you know what I mean.
Anyway, onto your questions.
- If you're at least 18 years old (and live in the US) and are no more than 21 years old, would you consider yourself a minor?
[As I said before, I don't concider myself a minor. There is still a lot to life that I don't know yet, but that I will only get from experience.]

- Are the minor/legal adult boundaries any different in other countries, and what do you think about the boundaries in other countries when compared to those of ths us?
[i don't know much about other countries, sadly. I try to concern myself with my own, as trying to know too much about the current world leads to useless information I would never use. Don't get me wrong, I do not think ill of other countries, and infact plan to move out of the U.S. at one point or another.]

- Do the boundaries in the US (or other countries you all live in) seem to advocative depending on what the laws of the minor are? not sure what you mean by this question.. Perhaps you can reidorate it?

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PwnOXz0r

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The One

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1) No. At age 18 you are legally emancipated without any legal documents being necessary, as is stated in paragraph 3 under "General Emancipation".
2) In some far-off and somewhat nearby countries when you reach a certain age you are considered an adult, but this does NOT grant emancipation, see jewish religion, and in some places once emancipated you must do certain things for the government such as join a military/combatant force.
3) The United States is full of emancipated people. Therefore we MUST be atleast somewhat advocative. When you turn 18 and or 21 you are granted certain rights. These rights begin to really define your existance. Whether you become something bad or good or, hopefully, sucessful.

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  • Jun 27, 2005

eXDream2K5

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Quote by melmachine18 My questions to you:
- If you're at least 18 years old (and live in the US) and are no more than 21 years old, would you consider yourself a minor?
- Are the minor/legal adult boundaries any different in other countries, and what do you think about the boundaries in other countries when compared to those of ths us?
- Do you agree with the minor/legal adult boundaries in the US (or other countries you all live in) when it comes to certain laws like drinking?

I've been 18 for four months and 12 days, and yet I still think of myself as a minor, because really, I'm not mentally mature enough for a lot of things that society calls for. I still feel dependent upon my parents -- mainly my mom -- to help me make decisions and such.

I can't answer the question regarding minors in other countries, lol, but I wish I could.

Yes, I agree with drinking laws in the US, and I think they should be better enforced. I'm sick of seeing friends stagger around drunk, and underage at that.

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been there and done that, i think that turning 18 just means that more doors open for you that you can do. its like when you turn 21 you can basicly do what ever you feel like ( with in the boundries of the law )

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  • Jun 27, 2005

Sakura-K

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Um...soz Mel, (can I call u that? =P) can't help much with that question, cause:
1. I'm still not 18 yet so I duno how they will treat me
2. They keep on telling me that I can do whatever I want when I'm 18. so yeah...

soz, that was no help at all ~.~'' anywayz, I hope it getz solved >.<''

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in my country legaly we are "adults" at age 18 how ever by the society it's not until 21 ><
How ever... I think if it's legal and you have the corage you can say "bye bye" to your mom here in US and in China o_O you just have to say "bye IM going NOW! WISH ME luck!" If they cry that they cry it's our live we can vote and have a Job << so it's ok!

  • Jun 27, 2005
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I think the law focuses a bit too much on age in judging a person. Age just gives a very general and vague assumption of how much one has experienced through life, it can often be misleading though. It's assumed that people at 18 are educated and experienced enough to take care of themselves, but this isn't true for all people. But since there's no better way to measure one's experiences in life, age is the closest thing we have to separate people who MOST likely have lived through enough to take care of themselves.

Example: People aren't allowed to legally consume alcohol in the United States until the age of 21, because they assume people at that age will be able to make a reasonable decision about it. You should probably be smart enough not to do things out of peer pressure or in attempt to look "cool" and such by then. However, the existence of irresponsible drinkers like drunk drivers pretty much proves that not everybody is ready for the same responsibilities at a certain age.

You don't just suddenly grow up into an indepedent and capable adult on the day of your 18th birthday, it's a process that begins from the moment you're born. This is the truth! This is my belief! ...at least for now.

  • Jun 27, 2005

SilentMasamune

SilentMasamune

I'm all washed up. . .

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Quote by ProtonianZeroYou don't just suddenly grow up into an indepedent and capable adult on the day of your 18th birthday, it's a process that begins from the moment you're born. This is the truth! This is my belief! ...at least for now.

I agree with this. I had a really good upbringing from my parents. They taught me so much that they really didn't want me to make any mistakes. Because of such, I feel that I'm ready to take on life learning from what they taught me. Now that I'm 18, I feel that I'm more capable of handling certain things without them. They even made an agreement to listen to me more when I turn 18, but that promise was broken especially when I went to college. It's still the same way...

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  • Jun 27, 2005
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Well it's probably hard for parents to let go of their children after so long. My foster parents are kind of like the same way. I don't think they realize how much I've actually changed and the intricate web of lies I've been weaving around them OX

  • Jun 27, 2005

Tama-Neko

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Looks like you should sit down and discuss the topic fully with your parents. If you want to have more responsibility, tell them so, and see if you can't find methods that are agreeable to both parties. Many parents don't want their kids to grow up, or don't think they're grown up enough when their kids feel the exact opposite. See if you can't find ways to build up the amount of responsibility you have over yourself. Prove to your parents you're responsible and can be trusted and treated like a fellow adult, and hopefully they will do so.

YugureKaze

YugureKaze

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i think that you should be able to do what you want once you become 18, right?
well, i'm not too sure cause i'm not 18 yet :nya:

  • Jun 27, 2005

fooblued

fooblued

British Fetishist

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You have to break free on your own time. I'm 23 and my mom still tries to butt in, control or keep tabs on what I do in my life and I don't even live with her!!! Legally you are no longer a minor in the US once you are 18... in mothers' eyes :sweat: I'm not sure some of them can ever let go. Your mom totally sounds like mine, she tried to convince me when I was 15 that it was illegal for kids under 18 to have sex :D she really thought I would buy it too! What can you do.... -_-

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mel if you are 18 you are no longer a minor
"As soon as an individual turns 18 he or she legally becomes an adult and is automatically emancipated from such parental custody and control." as said here <.< >.> so yeah not a minor.

bbls

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i guess for you it's not a legal issue, but an issue you'll have to work out with your parents. perhaps you guys can work out a plan to give you more responsibilities slowly...like if you don't work right now, maybe you can convince them to let you get a part time job while going to college. anyway you can gain some financial freedom from them will help lessen their influence over your life. or you can take the extreme and just move out on your own like i did, but then you'll have to decide whether or not the sacrifices you will have to make will be worth it. obviously you wouldn't have the time to concentrate fully on school, would need to take out education loans, and it'll take you a bit longer to graduate. your parents sound like they pay a lot for you, so they will probably use that to be more controlling over you, unfortunately.

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don't live in the future, just make it through today!

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  • Jun 27, 2005

Yue-Horrishino

Yue-Horrishino

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I'm still a minor, but i now that when i got to 18, my parents, won't let me to what ever i hant...
They will say that, '' When you live for yourself, in a place that is yours you can do what ever you hant, but until you get there, i mean while you still live below of my roof you still, don't make choises '' , and this is what my father says when is with an angry face... I know, they are just a preocupid parents, who love me as much as my older sister... but still, i think thats too much...
I'm doing 17 next mouth, so i have almost a year to dicide what i'll do... until then...

Ja, mata ne

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Lodigo

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Quote by Sakura-KUm...soz Mel, (can I call u that? =P) can't help much with that question, cause:
1. I'm still not 18 yet so I duno how they will treat me
2. They keep on telling me that I can do whatever I want when I'm 18. so yeah...

soz, that was no help at all ~.~'' anywayz, I hope it getz solved &gt;.&lt;''


hehe, same here with me :P

asta

asta

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I think your parents love you too much... so they dont want you to leave... bec.. the years are very fast.. to them it was like yesterday you were their little darling.. so they still cant accept that your already an adult, an adult that can be independent

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ramchong

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Quote by bblsi guess for you it's not a legal issue, but an issue you'll have to work out with your parents. perhaps you guys can work out a plan to give you more responsibilities slowly...like if you don't work right now, maybe you can convince them to let you get a part time job while going to college. anyway you can gain some financial freedom from them will help lessen their influence over your life. or you can take the extreme and just move out on your own like i did, but then you'll have to decide whether or not the sacrifices you will have to make will be worth it. obviously you wouldn't have the time to concentrate fully on school, would need to take out education loans, and it'll take you a bit longer to graduate. your parents sound like they pay a lot for you, so they will probably use that to be more controlling over you, unfortunately.

Hm... that's realistic and that's is the truth...

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belmikry

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ummm... I never had this problem- maybe it is because I live in Canada and the 'age of no return' [lol] is at the latest 19 [instead of 21 in the states] so when you turn 18, you are always considered an adult. Looking back, I recall thinking when I was 17 I was an adult, but looking back now I believe differently. There are only things you can learn from experience, and the reason your parents feel you are still a minor is because you haven't spread your wings yet.

i suggest possibly instead of a full on rebellion against the rules of your parents [since that would definately not show maturity o_0 ] that you should show them your individuality and maturity through other areas, build their trust up and eventually they will consider you what you are: a legal adult.

See that's the problem- parents will never see you as more than their babies, even when you're married with children. Even my memories of this time seem far away, so I can imagine how scary this transition is for them. Just remember, as long as you live in their house, you follow their rules. Hopefully you can find a way to go to college and spread your wings away from them, it seems the easiest route.
'
Now, if they are telling you they don't want you to move away for college, this is where you need to show maturity. Instead of stomping your feet and yelling, say that you understand their concerns and will look into this situation and alternatives. Start researching programs, dorms, college, tuition costs, make a whole list of pros and cons of each place, showing your skills and maturity. I promise when you set up an appointment with them one night to discuss all of these alternatives in an adult manner, they will see what you have become thanks to a law: not a minor

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I think u should discuss this with your parents sometimes. Although u are no longer a minor, u should also think about their concern towards u as their son. :) So think bout it again and u will know what to do. :) . Remember u are no longer a minor, so your thinking should be more mature and be able to settle some probs. ;) Take care, mel.

  • Jun 27, 2005

Celessa

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**Puts on her headphones** ProtonianZero pretty much gave a very reasonable and valid response that would actually match my own. Of course, I fully support his idea.

Quote by ProtonianZeroI think the law focuses a bit too much on age in judging a person. Age
just gives a very general and vague assumption of how much one has
experienced through life, it can often be misleading though. It's
assumed that people at 18 are educated and experienced enough to take
care of themselves, but this isn't true for all people. But since
there's no better way to measure one's experiences in life, age is the
closest thing we have to separate people who MOST likely have lived
through enough to take care of themselves.

Yes, I've apparently been around people in real life who are a couple years older than I am and still can't go through that rather gigantic transition barrier between being too dependent upon your parents, towards actually moving on and handling everything by themselves. Age isn't generally a good measure of who's capable of moving on responsibly and who isn't, as of yet. Reflecting upon each person, it should be more based on their maturity, manageable thinking, and claimed responsibility in solely becoming independent in which they standardize themselves in public, though moving on fully at quite a rather late age does seem to draw a little embarrassing moment, of course. Not that I don't mind.

Aside from that, I'm not quite familiar with the American term of "minor" over here. I do know that obviously as you turn 18, you become a legal adult with the right to vote, so just declaring yourself as becoming an adult doesn't automatically mean you are capable of going out in the real world quite readily as of yet, though it is quite possible to - and published by law, of course. Technically you should have the right to move away if you feel like it but I don't see what's with the rush, to tell you the truth. I plan on staying with my parents even if I do turn as a legal adult. I have university debts to pay, and my school is close to home, so I don't mind the extra financial support, for my food and living expenses, that is. I'm not ashamed. Realistically, I can move on better that way, but of course my scenario is different from yours.

Quote by Yue-HorrishinoI'm still a minor, but i now that when i got to 18, my parents, won't
let me to what ever i hant...
They will say that, '' When you live for yourself, in a place that is
yours you can do what ever you hant, but until you get there, i mean
while you still live below of my roof you still, don't make choises ''
, and this is what my father says when is with an angry face... I know,
they are just a preocupid parents, who love me as much as my older
sister... but still, i think thats too much...
I'm doing 17 next mouth, so i have almost a year to dicide what i'll
do... until then... Ja, mata ne

Same here. I'm 17, I just got my G2 months ago [for all you Canadians out there, you know what I mean **Giggles**] and I still don't know what to think about it - if I want to possibly move away from my parents soon and handle myself responsibly with the possible choice of freedom, or if I would like to stay, of course. My parents obviously are good parents and I'm not under any forced stress to move out as quickly as I reach that legal age. As always, they don't really mind my final decision, although my mother was a little more controlling than my father at times and wanted me to actually stay, giving in set rules for the house for me to abide to, and all that. I actually do consider their constant worrying quite normal from time to time, and she does have a point. **Nods** At the end, it is their home, and I am under their roof as well. Funny thing though, because we had a very good, long talk about this issue you just brought up on this topic last year, when I was attending my first year in University and my parents were a little nervous that I couldn't handle everything on my own. They are right. I can't make that leap right away, and I'm still learning how to manage myself, despite my long trip in Japan [I was accompanied by a legal guardian that time] where they paid for my costs and everything to live there. Being isolated and handling myself was great, but unlike that case, I would then have to support myself fully on my own, from now on, and without a secure job, and a decent diploma sitting around at home, I'm not quite ready as of yet. I ultimately made my decision to stay, because realistically I would not be able to securely and financially support myself even as I would have liked to try, but the good thing is that I'm not tied to any chains and there aren't really any restrictions looming over my shadow. On top of that, the university I attend to houses some of the best business courses all over our province. Aside from that, I'm one of those individuals who can live a pretty good life, and I did prove to them before that I could do it, in which me and my parents are still proud of, even as of today.

I still had the freedom to do almost anything I wanted when I was little, and I didn't really mind it at all, of course. It's virtually comforting to also hear that my parents will still leave their front door open for me, if in case I do move out and come back for specific financial reasons. With that kind of support, and my greater freedom to do anything I want [as long as I get to return home safely, of course], to me, it'll all be fine. Yaya!

"No matter where you go, no matter how tough life may be, just remember that always in your heart, you will still be loved."

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