Your favorite Simpson Quotes!

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StoicDan

StoicDan

I like to make waffles...

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Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.

Grandpa: Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three.
P.S. I am not a crackpot.

Marge: Grandpa, this flag only has 49 stars on it
Grandpa: I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missourah!

Homer: Hey boy! Wanna play catch?
Bart: No thanks dad.
Homer: When a son doesn't want to play catch with his father something is definitely wrong.
Grandpa Simpson: I'll play catch with you!
Homer: Go home.

Lisa: I'm an ugmo.
Homer: Now, that's not true. You're cute as a bug's ear.
Lisa: Father's have to say that little stuff.
Homer: Dad, am I cute as a bug's ear?
Grandpa: No. You're homely as a mule's butt.
Homer: There. See?

Homer: There's your giraffe, little girl.
Ralph Wiggum: I'm a boy.
Homer: That's the spirit. Never give up.

Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room.

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Spystreak

Retired Moderator

Spystreak

The Grim Reaper

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Homer: Helloo I'm Mr. Burns I beleive you have a package for me
Teller: Okay Mr. Burns what's your first name
Homer: I don't know

I'll post more once I remember them

Fools You Can't Escape from The Grim Reaper. Your Only Chance for Escape Is Death. Bye Bye Now
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Your Ignorance Will Be Your Own Downfall.

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Homer: Why you little!!!!
Bart: *grrhaaargghhh* (can't describe the sound when Homer got his
hands on Bart's throat)

  • Aug 08, 2005
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Homer: Mmm dounut!

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  • Aug 08, 2005

StoicDan

StoicDan

I like to make waffles...

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Ralph: When i grow up, I want to be a principal or a caterpillar.

Bart: Go orange!
Nelson: Go grapefruit!
Ralph: Go Banana!

Ralph: When I grow up I'm going to Bovine University.

Mr. Burns: Do my worst, eh? Smithers, release the robotic Richard Simmons.

Mr. Burns: I could crush him like an ant. But it would be too easy. No, revenge is a dish best served cold. I'll bide my time until ... Oh, what the hell. I'll just crush him like an ant.

Chief Wiggum: Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city! He is the cancer and I am the ... uh ... what cures cancer?

Chief Wiggum: Sideshow Bob has no decency. He called me Chief Piggum. (laughs) Oh wait, I get it, he's all right.

Chief Wiggum: Can't you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can't be policing the entire city!

Leonard Nimoy: I think this vessel could do at least warp 5.
Quimby: Yes, and may the force be with you.
Leonard Nimoy: Do you even know who I am?
Quimby: Of course I do. Werent you one of the little rascals.

Marge: My name is Marge Simpson and I have an idea. It may sound a little boring at first.
Mayor Quimby: Chat away. I'll just amuse myself with some pornographic playing cards.

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

Super Simpsons fan.

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Kojiroh

Mokona

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Govt. Agency: Hello Mr Thompson.
Homer: ...

This above all, thine own self be true.

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Worst. Post. Ever!

  • Aug 08, 2005

BossMac

BossMac

BRBFBI

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How about this one:

Homer: DOPE!!!!!

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notdante

notdante

Who wants Turkey-dogs?!!!?!!

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Bart: Gandhi also said less talk more rock.

Homer: kids how would you like to go to block-o land.
Bart and lisa:meh
Homer: but the comercial made me think.
Lisa: we said meh, m. e. h.

Jockeys:*singing* we are the jockeys, jockeys are we. We live underground in a fiberglass tree.

yeah most of that episode and the one with the power plant soft ball team.

Homer: hello moes travern
Bart: im looking for an ali tabooger
Homer: oh bart my first prank call. what do i do.
Bart: just ask for an ali tabogger
Homer: i dont get it.
Bart: just yell out ill eat a booger.
Homer: whats the joke
*bart hangs up and looks mad*

Moe:Moes tavern
Bart: yes, im looking for Hue Jass.
Moe: Is there a Hue Jass here.
Hue: This is Hue Jass.
Bart: urm...im going to be honest Mr. this is a prank call gone wrong.
Hue: Ok. Good luck next time.

Yeah im not shure on the accuracy of these but its basically there.

The one where the familly is buying books. Bart gets one on UFOs and says there is a big government conspiracy and Lisa gets al gores new book and when they are scanned it show a signal being sent to the white house with x-files music in the background and a guy runs into the vice pres. room and says: Mr. Vice President someone finally bought a copy of your new book.
hehe reverse vampires.

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(0 0) This is Bunny's weird twin. Copy Bunny's weird twin into your signature to help him on his way to eating all of the pies on the planet.

  • Aug 08, 2005

StoicDan

StoicDan

I like to make waffles...

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Man: I'm telling you the light would work better if it pointed out to sea.
Sea Captianr: Arr, shut up. I know what I'm doin'.
(a boat crashes in the distance)
Sea Captian: Arr, I hate the sea and everything in it.

Sea Captain: Arr, this be the yarrest river-goin' boat thar be.
(boat sinks)
Sea Captain: Arr ... I don't know what I'm doin

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Lisa:Milhouse?What are you doing here?Weren't you in Capitol City?
Milhouse:no,we moved back
Lisa:What about your Capitol City friends?
Milhouse:Those Cap City Kids don't think i'm cool anymore.We were having a sleep-over and a robber came in and wet my bed.Then folded the bed back into the couch and disappeared into the night *shifty eyes*

  • Aug 09, 2005

white-zero

white-zero

Left this part of the universe.

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Homer: Who needs English. I'm never going to England.

Quote by Jacobie15Worst. Post. Ever!

I think yours is the one, Jac.

PhoenixNox

PhoenixNox

Psychotic Ender

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Homer: but in a world of craziness, only a lunatic is truly insane!
thats from the episode when homer predicts the apocalypse

Homer: blood for cream! blood for cream!

Ralph Wiggum: Hi super nintendo Chalmers!

Ralph: Me fail english? Thats un-possible!

Homer: no tv and no beer make homer something something.
Marge: Go crazy?
Homer: don't mind if i do! *starts freaking out*

Bart: (eyes closed and fingers crossed) crazy scheme crazy scheme crazy scheme
Homer: Bring me tools and beer!
Bart: Yessssss

Homer: I wish god was alive to see this.

Homer: Moe, i want you to put this crayon in my brain.
(later in the same episode)
Marge: now Lisa, that crayon could be anywhere.
*Homer busts through window* WHO wants lottery TICKETS??

Mr. teeny screeching; subtitles read: The plot made no sense! Tell the people!

Krusty: who writes this crap?
Mr. Teeny: I think its remarkable i wrote anything at all *pulls out a cigarette and stops typing*

Bart: and then god said, let there be crap!

Homer: mmmmmmm... forbidden donut.

(spongebob, jesus and buddah are standing next to god)
buddah: do you think we should help her?
spongebob: nah, screw her hehehehehe

(in a different episode, without spongebob)
god: hey buddah, keep those popcorn chicken coming!

announcer: and now, in their first live performance since tinky-winky was aquitted of man slaughter, THE TELLETUBBIES!!

elmo: elmo knows where you live...

r e v o l u t i o n | c o n v o l u t i o n | e x s p e c t a t i o n | d e s p e r a t i o n
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Halo-2|TheGrungeFamily|doujin-arena|doujinshi-support-club|death-note|TheBattleRoom

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Sideshow Bob: You can't handle the truth! No truth-hander, you! Bah! I derive your truth-handling abilities!

Ralph: Me fail English? That's unpossible!

  • Aug 10, 2005
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Quote by SpystreakHomer: Helloo I'm Mr. Burns I beleive you have a package for me
Teller: Okay Mr. Burns what's your first name
Homer: I don't know

That one is a classic...

  • Aug 10, 2005

Spystreak

Retired Moderator

Spystreak

The Grim Reaper

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Homer: but I don't even believe in Jebus
:seconds later:
Homer: save me Jebus

Fools You Can't Escape from The Grim Reaper. Your Only Chance for Escape Is Death. Bye Bye Now
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Your Ignorance Will Be Your Own Downfall.

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Just look at my sign : it's from Carl

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------------------------------------------------------------------------
[ F r e n c h - T r i b u --- F i n a l F a n t a s y F a n s --- F i n a l - F a n t a s y --- F i n a l F a n t a s y]
[ J a p a n e s e --- M y W e b s i t e ]

  • Aug 10, 2005

nightfire

nightfire

Drift King

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Burns: Its time to teach my son a lesson, Smithers, take off my belt.
Smithers: With pleasure sir.

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Proud Admin of: System of a Down fans, Tokyo Mew Mew, RockmanEXE

Silvandragon17

Silvandragon17

The Rising Fighting Spirit

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Marge: Homer! There's someone here who can help you...
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: No, he's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist?!
Marge: It's not Batman! "

"Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."

Laywer: Well, what about that tatoo on your chest? Doesn't it say Die, Bart, Die?
Sideshow Bob: No, that's German for 'The Bart, The."
Parole Judge: No one who speaks German can be an evil man! Parole Granted!

Lionel Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son.

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Society is a masked ball, where everyone hides his real character, and reveals it in hiding. -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Kojiroh

Mokona

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Bart: I am the alien from Uranus!
Homer: [Gasps] Oh, it's Bart. I can't believe it. I'm
being mocked. By my own children. On my birthday.
Bart: It's your birthday?
Homer: Yes! Remember, it's the same day as the dog's.
Lisa: Santa's Little Helper, it's your birthday? Ooh! We've gotta get
you a present. Yes we do! Yes we do!
Bart: We love you boy.
Marge: Good doggie. Good doggie.
Homer: Lousy loveable dog.

Homer: The alien has a sweet, heavenly voice... like Urkel! And he
appears every Friday night... like Urkel!
Wiggum: Well, your story is very compelling, Mr. Jackass, I mean, uh,
Simpson. So, I'll just type it up on my invisible typewriter!
Homer: You don't have to humiliate me.
Man: I just torched a building downtown, and I'm afraid I'll do it
again!
Wiggum: Oh, yeah, right. I'll just type it up on my invisible
typewriter!

This above all, thine own self be true.

Luckster

Luckster

d u a l i t y

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Ralph: You can't catch me! I'm flying at the speed of wind!!!

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  • Aug 28, 2005

Flummox

Flummox

Figment of my Imagination

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Homer: listen moe, i've got this friend, Joey joe joe... shabadoo (dunno how to spell)
Moe: Thats the worst name ive ever heard
(Man runs out of the bar)
Barney: Joey Joe joe!!

Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars! I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services!
Homer: Woo-hoo!

Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

Homer: From now on, there are three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way.
Bart: Isn't that just the wrong way?
Homer: Yeah, but faster!

Barney: Hello, my name is Barney Gumble, and I'm an alcoholic.
Lisa: Mr Gumble, this is a girl scouts meeting.
Barney: Is it, or is it you girls can't admit that you have a problem?
^_^=V Gold

I'm mearly a figment of my imagination

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A good friend will come and bail you out of jail, a true friend will be siting next to you saying "Damn that was fun!"

  • Aug 28, 2005

scrapstyle

scrapstyle

Look! Behind You!

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Man: Take this object, but beware: it carries a terrible curse.
Homer: Ooh, that's bad.
Man: But it comes with a free Frogurt!
Homer: That's good!
Man: The Frogurt is also cursed.
Homer: That's bad.
Man: But you get your choice of toppings!
Homer: That's good.
Man: The toppings contain potassium benzoate. That's bad.
Homer: Can I go now?

  • Aug 28, 2005
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Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room.

gota love it sums up homer perfectly

  • Aug 28, 2005

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