Why must love be so difficult?

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Spystreak

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I ask this question in the hopes that someome can answer it. Why is love so difficult to find? Would Illusive be the appropriate word I do not know.

I came to this question after reading many poems to which describe peoples mostly guys troubles with finding love. Now I know these things are not real accounts of peoples troubles with love.
Hmm I guess the true question to which I am asking is: Is love really truly that hard or is it mearly an illusion we have created in our minds a sort of paranoia if you will. What I mean by that is we create this fear that we will never find the right person so we end up living life searching but never finding that one person meant for us.

I ask this based on something my professor said. He said that guys will be less likely to turn down a girl if she is asking him out. On the contrary girls are more likely to turn a guy down then accept his offer to go out. Based on that we have this fear of rejection. Is this true I do not know this is what my professor had stated.

One thing I'd like to make clear this thread is not about my own personal search for love this is a general question about love


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Tias

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hmmm very interesting thing you came up with, in a way its a illusion and in the other hand it is love, its hard to explain, i dont know so much about this either so i can just guese some stuff or somthing els

but the stuff your prof told you seems to be true now that you think about it
(this might be totally nonsense)
but maybe some girls want more then just a guy, i mean they whant him to be a good looking or somthing

while most( dunno) guys are allready satisfied with a girl and she dosent need to look so oh super great


ok dont come with stuffto me that this bull****

i said i dont know much about this matter

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I think relations are so difficult because you try to be the one your (girl)friend wants you to be.
You are changing your personality for somebody else. That can be really tiresome.

Dont worry about finding the right person, In holland we have a saying that goes like this:
"on every pot fits a lid", meaning that there is alweays someone that fits with you.

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Girls Will Do That A Lot I Guess....Theres Not Much Us Guys Can Do About It, But We Have To Learn From Our Mistakes.....But I'm Not Exactly Sure How We Can Learn From This Type Of Problems....Espscially Since We Feel The Need Of Wanting A Girlfriend....But Oh Well, I Guess We Just Have To Wait To Find The Right Girl.... :sweat:

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Tias

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Quote by XDEGirls Will Do That A Lot I Guess....Theres Not Much Us Guys Can Do About It, But We Have To Learn From Our Mistakes.....But I'm Not Exactly Sure How We Can Learn From This Type Of Problems....Espscially Since We Feel The Need Of Wanting A Girlfriend....But Oh Well, I Guess We Just Have To Wait To Find The Right Girl.... :sweat:


OR if we even want one...dont forget that also

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Quote by SpystreakI ask this question in the hopes that someome can answer it. Why is love so difficult to find? Would Illusive be the appropriate word I do not know.


I don't believe it is difficult to find. In fact, it is right infront of your face yet as transparent as ultraviolet. Unconditional love (eg;family) is there and without a doubt in your mind the other person(s) reciprocate those feelings back. There is no fear of rejection, therefore it is one of the easiest types of "love" to find. Love for another outside of your family however, takes on a whole new altitude.

Physical attraction is a key starting point. During this period of time in human generations, priority has been placed highly on physical status. Like the current of a river, 9/10 times if you do not go with the flow, you'll find yourself drowning. From there, you can insert rejection, fear, depression, sadness, insecurity..and the list goes on. The condition for this is of course "physical status". As you cannot choose how you will look when you are born, it is one of the toughest things to accept should you fall under the misguided catagory of being normal/ugly.

As i'm writing this pretty much tired as hell, i'm going to get to the point now. What makes love difficult to find outside of unconditional circumstances really rests on the shoulders of the individual that can overcome conditions placed on love and the fear of negative effects from one's self or another.

Now, here's the hard part. Finding someone that matches your perspective on love, and the time it takes to search along with the hardships that a person may go through to reach the end of that journey. Time can kill or heal, how prepared are you to be beaten up along the way? Unfortunately, that's the way it is. If love were the easiest thing to find, we'd all be living in a Utopia by now.

*I do apologize if i couldn't answer your question, and also if all of that sounds like a pile of crack coming from someone mentally insane. Good night.

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  • Sep 15, 2005

Philyra

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i think that love is hard to find only when you're looking for it.
i mean, if a person is on the market for something, then he/she will have the tendency of being picky and and choosy... i don't know if you'll feel the same, but i surely did. so just let it come naturally. if you going through life not worry about it and just let thing run its course, eventually you'll meet a person and felt in love. for that , i think it really work.

now on the girls usually turning down a guy's invitation to a date for often than guys do to girls... that does have some truth to it. usually, when turning down a guy, it could be that the girl have someone else, don't want to be involved in a relationship, or simply just not interested. in any case, please don't take it to heart. don't jump into a conclusion that it's because you're ugly and she don't like you or things like that (even though there are girls that are like that and i have known a handful of them) but that doesn't mean that everybody is like that.

ok, i've type a lot already so uh... i'll cut it right here. just one last advice, if you're on the market for love and going out looking for a date, don't ever dress sloppy!!!! hate to say it, but first impression is half the way there. hopefully this has help you! :) :D ^_^'

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Spystreak

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Quote by Mizuna*I do apologize if i couldn't answer your question, and also if all of that sounds like a pile of crack coming from someone mentally insane. Good night.

Alas that is not the answer I seek. The love I refer to is not that which we have between family members. That I already know about. What I am seeking the answer to is why is it difficult to find love with another person.

One thing I'd like to make clear this thread is not about my own personal search for love this is a general question about love

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Mrchak

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I agree with Phylira-chan and also like too add something...
When a girl turns down a guy (with a condition "they are single") sometimes it means that she's interested in some other guy even if you're attractive as he is but she likes "him" and thats the point, and maybe when that guy blows her off she'll be wanting to come to you (maybe) but she's not going to... Turning a guy down while liking someone else is a girl thing which you shouldnt try to understand (try to think about it and you're not going anywhere aka there is no logic to this)...
And also some girls are using "turning down a guy stuff" just to feel powerful in some way (and after that maybe even regret it) but also these girls are like puppets when their Mr. Right comes... Thats what my best female friend told me... And yeah she's right...

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  • Sep 15, 2005

TimothytheDarkMagician

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Love isn't difficult to find... its true love that is now a rare thing... even in most cases now its just a false feeling. But don't worry spy you'll get a firm grasp on it one day (that sounded sooo wrong)

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Tias

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Quote by TimothytheDarkMagicianLove isn't difficult to find... its true love that is now a rare thing... even in most cases now its just a false feeling. But don't worry spy you'll get a firm grasp on it one day (that sounded sooo wrong)


sure it did, he didnt mean about him...but you are right, my best friend had maney gf's( well he says 3 but i dont belive him) and all the time he keeps saying its the girld of his dreams....pffffff he even tryd to hook me up with some girl i didnt even know, and when i ask him why he just said he whanetd me to know how it feels to have a gf and i said to him
moron true love is not like that
well as for me, even if i say i dont need love i bet deep down that i would be happy if there was one who loved me...pffffff as stupid as that sounds

true love is hard to find cause...hmmmm
well again somthing i think it is
the young people(like us or dunno) well as said some(maney i tihnk) people are not after true love, they just whant somthing to have the time going with i think, cause its rare you meet a couple that has men togetther since they where 15 or so

mostly people are about 18-19 maybe and from there they marry/ say they found there true love

young people(like us) end up a relationship very fast
but older people 18 or so dont end it up as fast as we do

ok this was just a gues

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dianas

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my friend love is not hard to fiend..but is the ilusion of love that is disapointing us,why is she/he not the one ?..everyone can make a passion for someone and sadly all that is starting good it ends bad..anyway love is all aroud us is in the nature that we can see is in the warmth of the sun..we are made to love and to be loved

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PwnOXz0r

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You're looking for the word: Illicit (is that how it's spelled? Not sure...don't often use it). Illicit meaning dangerous, hazardous. That's what love is....a b*tch until you marry one.

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  • Sep 15, 2005

jendeathbot

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In my opinion- i think people (men and women) nowadays are too obsessed with love or "finding the right one" that they don't focus on improving themselves and just lose themselves in a horrible spiral of dispair- it's kinda sad... I however believe that once you stOP looking- that's when you'll find someone (as contradictory as that may sound) but it's true- if you work on yourself first, chances are someone will see what a great person you've become and admire you for it, ...also if you think about it the people that you meet and stay friends/loves with longest they are people you just get to know by chance not go out and track down- I don't remember how i met all my best friends exactly- but that just shows that we're just connected that way- so strongly so that I don't know where the thread begins or where it will end...
speaking of ending -_- perhaps i have said too much...>_>

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  • Sep 15, 2005

Spystreak

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Quote by PwnOXz0rYou're looking for the word: Illicit (is that how it's spelled? Not sure...don't often use it). Illicit meaning dangerous, hazardous. That's what love is....a b*tch until you marry one.

No that is not the word I was trying to find

Quote by dianasmy friend love is not hard to fiend..but is the ilusion of love that is disapointing you,why is she not the one ? this is what bothers you..everyone can make a passion for someone and sadly all that is starting good it ends bad..anyway du not despair love is all aroud us is in the nature that we can see is in the warmth of the sun..we are made to love and to be loved

I say again this is not about me searching for love this is a general topic about love brought about by observations

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jasaiyajin

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Love is elusive, but not impossible to attain by the average persistence. Guys are quicker to say yes, cause of an ego boost and sexual prowess, I think. Girls are more feeling oriented, they combine the voice + image of what they see and form an emotion as to whether the guy is worth their time. However, love transcends those if a guy and girl have been friends for a while, but that is not always the case. I, for instance, am sometimes too honest and offend girls often - hehe, I just don't have that same ego or prowess that most have. People are people, so I treat everyone under a prose of honesty.
For instance, I was explicating a vision and accidentally without realizing it called a girl obese, she blew up and hated me instantly forever, while I was dumbfounded from my explication of life. If it's true, it hurts or feel good, then losing friendships doesn't matter. It just signifies that the friendship was not strong enough and that a possible further relationship is impossible.

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  • Sep 16, 2005
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because if it was easy, it wouldn't be love. and besides, we have to work for anything we want in life, right? that's just the way it goes.

  • Sep 16, 2005

Mizuna

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Quote by Spystreak

Quote by Mizuna*I do apologize if i couldn't answer your question, and
also if all of that sounds like a pile of crack coming from someone
mentally insane. Good night.


Alas that is not the answer I seek. The love I refer to is not that
which we have between family members. That I already know about. What I
am seeking the answer to is why is it difficult to find love with
another person.
One thing I'd like to make clear this thread is not about my own
personal search for love this is a general question about love


The first paragraph was just an example of that type. The rest was ment to answer your question somewhat. Nothing was implicated towards you, although the choice of words used could have been changed to a third person perspective to keep with the anonymous theme. Now that i'm awake, I do wonder how I wrote that..

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  • Sep 16, 2005

forte712

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I think love is difficult because it usually is not pure love, it involes a lot of attachment. If you can practice unconditional love, without attachment, loving anyone is very easy to do. Then again, unconditional love is very hard to practice.. -.-;

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  • Sep 16, 2005

Itami-Chan

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love and true love are two different things.....so..basically love isint hard to find..... true love is....i suppose some people may see true love as an illusion only because they havent necessarily experienced it,and i suppose true love is hard to find because we're too scared to open up and look for it in fear of pain or rejection...then again im probally wrong :sweat:

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Spystreak

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Quote by Itami-Chanlove and true love are two different things.....so..basically love isint hard to find..... true love is....i suppose some people may see true love as an illusion only because they havent necessarily experienced it,and i suppose true love is hard to find because we're too scared to open up and look for it in fear of pain or rejection...then again im probally wrong :sweat:

Finally somebody that comes close :sweat: It's still not the whole answer though there still one thing left un answered. Why is it that guys are more likely to get turned down by girls then girls are to get turned down by a guy. I know people have said something about this but I already knew all those things before.

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dezidez

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Well spystreak...basied on what you said yea....love is very confusing....I learned that the hard way.....I think that people all search for that one speacial person...in very different ways
that has also brought me to that answer also.....is love just an illusion....how could we overcome...Well I hope this helps..it might even help me...maybe you professor is right on some points......I fear rejection....i dont like being turned down...but shit happens right...nothing to do but try to move on....painful but move on....

Quote by Spystreak
Finally somebody that comes close :sweat: It's still not the whole answer though there still one thing left un answered. Why is it that guys are more likely to get turned down by girls then girls are to get turned down by a guy. I know people have said something about this but I already knew all those things before.

Correct me if Im wrong.... I think some gurls....not all but some have trouble expressing feelings to guys....i dont know...maybe cuz they think its a weak thing to accept the fact that someone actully like them...or.....they dont consider respecting the guys feelings.....hmm...i wonder....i hope I helped.... ^_^' :sweat: :)

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  • Sep 16, 2005

dianas

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Quote by SpystreakI say again this is not about me searching for love this is a general topic about love brought about by observations


haha i understand ;) (and i have change what i have write..)

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Kiako

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didn't you know? when you look for something, you never find it. and when you aren't looking for it you'll not only find it but it'll be "stalking" you all the time -.-'

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