i've recently found out that i was adopted...my mom abandoned me in a hospital and disappeared...i never knew my
biological parents, but i'm very happy with my life now. sometimes when i think about it, i hate my mom for leaving
me...but i guess she must have her reasons. if possible, i would like to see her once...just so that i know i've
seen my mom. maybe life would have been more exciting for me if i had grown up in an orphanage...the harsh life might
have made me more independent and stronger...sometimes i wished i wasn't adopted...whenever i think about my
adopted family, i feel distant and afraid...because they are not my real family. my custody is with my aunt and
uncle(don't ask me why)...and i feel very furstrated that they have it. i don't want to think that i belong to
someone, especially someone not my real family...am i mean? because i know they love me very much and i don't want
them to think i don't love them...but i don't wanna feel trapped...does this sound weird to you? my current
parents are divorced, so i've actually never had much experience with a mother's love...that makes me knida
sad but i sometimes feel like i don't wanna be loved...then sometimes i crave for the love of my biological
parents...that's kinda confusing...
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- Jul 22, 2006
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I wasn't adopted, but I know someone who was also adopted. I think the most important thing is to put the "adoption" thing out of your head. To be honest, I don't actually know what difference it would actually make if your not that genetically close with the parents you are with at the moment.
The main important fact is if your parents love you and that you also love them, I believe that the relationship between you and your parents would be the same as if they were your true biological parents.
I think what is really important is that you don't start remembering that you are actually adopted as I believe it will lead into problems such as feelings of not being loved as much or your parents enforce rules on you because they don't care for you as much because your adopted etc. etc. which is really not true. All kids whether they are adopted or not will at times be in conflict with their parents and at those times, the reason of the conflict is not because "the person is adopted"
I actually think it would be better to be adopted than to be born into a broken family with lots of problems.But yeah don't feel distant or afraid with your family. If they have taken care of you until now, they have already truly treated you as their child. (or why else would they spend so much time + money and stuff on you?)
Anyway, I hope this does not offend, or my lack of understanding be of any convience. These are just some of my thought and some of my experience.
- Jul 22, 2006
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I guess that not meeting your real family is harsh, but I hope that you can look to the future and realise you got some sweet guardians looking out for you now. I mean, if they feed you and take care of you (with the exception of cleaning you XD) I'm guessing you must live at least a satisfactory life.
Life is like a cliff. Look down, and you might piss your pants. So just look up and look forward. XD (Though that defeats the whole purpose of the cliff thing. MEH)
- Jul 23, 2006
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melissa-clyne
feel the music...
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mmm well I'm not someone to talk about this, Cu's I'm not adopted and I don't really know how it feels... you know? mmm well I think that if you would have grown in an orphanage it would be a lot more sad, cus theres no one that cares or you like a real mom or dad even when they aren't... when your are adopted(i think) you feel a lot more loved in a sort of way... but I don't really know... but it would be exiting getting to know your real mom, and getting the chance to know why she left you...
Don't be sad because it finished, be happy because it happened...
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- Jul 23, 2006
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I know exactly how you feel. I was adopted when I was three months old, and have never met my biological parents. I also have no idea why my parents gave me up. But I relate to your feelings about feeling distant from the people who took you in. I know they love me, and they worry if I'm okay with the whole being adopted thing. I've known since I was little enough to understand, but it didn't really start to bug me until recently. I feel like I'm just something that got dumped on someone else's doorstep sometimes. I have mixed feelings about meeting my biological parents, because I don't know if I want to know them after they gave me up. I guess the only thing I really want to know from them is why they didn't keep me. My adoptive parents keep telling me it's probably because they couldn't give me what I needed, but when you grow up not knowing why I can't help but feel that maybe they didn't want me. And sometimes I get the feeling I'm just a burden on my adoptive parents too, and I think awful things about them and ask them in my head why they adopted me if I'm just so much trouble. But yeah, I get what you're saying.
Thus I have shunned the Fire for fear of Burning;
and drenched me in the Sea where I am Drowned.- Jul 23, 2006
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Quote by delitahyralwell i dont quite get what you are saying cuz im not adopted, but..i think whats important is that your adopted parents love you right?
i guess you're right. i feel really happy right now and i love my parents...i guess i shouldn't let this "adopted" thing bug me...after all, it's over...
:D- Jul 23, 2006
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Well, I'm not adopted. But I guess the felling to belong to place or to someone is common to everyone. Like people that doesn't fix anyplace and to anyone. It's a complicated feeling. Please, don't punish or blame yourself about your biological parents choices. You were just a kid and you are lucky. There are lots of people who has lived with biological parents and never felt loved or cared. But you have this. Family is who has created you. Who loves you and the place you can run to. You are not alone. Biology is just some data that you put in a paper or in the computer. You feel love. Don't forget that.- Jul 24, 2006
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Try not to think of the negative things, every time I feel depressed, I think about what makes me happy and I'm cheered up in no time, it must be hard thinking that you never knew your real parents but you'll get over it eventually.
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Proud Admin of: System of a Down fans, Tokyo Mew Mew, RockmanEXE- Jul 24, 2006
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well, i was adopted but i dont think i'll go see my mom. i dont really have any reason for it and it wont change my life in any way. but i hope you can be happy with the life you have now. you have real parents now. every one thinks a parent is someone who gave brith to the child but that is not the case. a true parent is someone who loves you and would do anything to make sure you have a happy life.
There was glitter everywhere! It looked like somebody stabbed
a pixie.
Roadie of .::DarK LeaF::.- Jul 24, 2006
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adopted..
well isn't it better having no one to be love?
at least ur not alone..
just continue to be happy in ur life.maybe.. one day u will find ur true mother.. to find the truth.
- Jul 24, 2006
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yeah that's true...as long as your adopted parents love you it's all that matters. My dad left us when I was very young and my stepdad came into the picture...I call him "Dad" because he's all I remember and his family is my family blood or not :-)
- Jul 24, 2006
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Well Sarah its sad that you're being adopted but still you found loving parents if you asked if your parents are biological or not.. being loved matters more don't you agree?... i have heard of friends of mine that have been fostered or being held in the foster home... tell ya it ain't pretty... Since Sarah you just found out meant that you never was sent to a foster home... Well dumb me for volunteering to help others so i have seen what people do behind doors quite often... God Bless You for giving you parents that would take you in even more really love you like a real daugther... Trust me you would love them more if you found out what some 'parents' do when they adopt children, im not going in detail and mind you, you a BLESSED!
~Snow is where i came from...~
- Jul 25, 2006
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Hey girl, heard about you from a friend! Don't fret! I am adopted as well and it is so fine.My family treats me well and I am not concern about my past.It is more important that you cherish the family you have now then to yearn for the one that is not around.I am sure the family you live with and your aunt and uncle loves you very much.If not, why would anyone wants to take responsibility for someone that is not their own as well?If you feel trap, do you think they feel trap with you as well?If they love you,means they don't free trap.Family and love is two ways.As they shower you with love,you have to love them back.Imagine if someone love you and you do not love them back?How does that feel if it was you who did not receive the love?I think they will feel more sad if it is true that you do not love them.I believe you love them as well.Show them and tell them you you love them and appreciate them!It will bring a smile to their face and you would have a more wonderful life!
- Jul 25, 2006
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if you think you live a happy healthy life than you can be happy to live on don't think to much about your real parents or your parents that adopted you if you think to much abot it you'll only get more frustrated and sad just go on with your life.
hmmm... was i maybe rude?
- Jul 25, 2006
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Enjoy your life. Im with republicsoldier on that.
PS: by the way, you werent rude.
- Jul 25, 2006
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I just realised something! The thing about feeling trap is actually unfounded.If you were born to your natural family and they turn out to be bad,doesn't that makes you feel trap as well?This makes me feel happy that my guardian and adopted family is good to me.You should feel great too having a family that loves you and look out for you too! I'm going to give them all a big hug and kiss tonight....
- Jul 28, 2006
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I believe a 'real' family regardless of biological or not is distinguished by bonds....if you have these with your adoptive parents it's fine. A friend of mine encountered a similar situation years back. He's all normal now....but I think it was just a shock when finding out he was adopted...it took time for him to accept it but it heals over time
- Jul 28, 2006
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I know how you feel, it is sad but in this case you must be strong, do not think bad of your real mother for leaving you, at least she let you live, i know someone who got pregnant and she dind't want the baby, so she kill the baby before the birth, i do believe your mother most have a good reason, just don't think bad of her, you most keep it up, remember that you are not alone, you got friends here, wen ever you feel sad let us know and will be there to give you a hand.
Hey... I was wondering, maybe after we die... will there be... cake?- Jul 30, 2006
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well, I'm not adopted, so I can't say that I know how you feel. (honestly, I don't know if I am adoped or not. I asked my mom once and she changed the subject quickly). But I can say this- don't worry about the little details. Your parents love you and that is really all that matters. It is hard to shake the fact that you are adopted, but in the end, it all comes down to weather or not your parents love you, and I am sure that they do. If you think about being adopted too much, you will start to make yourself misrable and start to question your parent's love for you, which I know you do not want to happen. Just slowly but surely let it go. It is true, yes. And it is hard to shake such a fact, but in the end, you cannot let it effect you. If you were already very happy before you found out that you were adopted, then it doesn't really matter in the end if you were adopted. Be happy! Cheer up!
- Aug 04, 2006
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DON'T FEEL BAD... PROBABLY THEY TOLD YOU LATE AND YOU ARE NOT USED TO IT, YOU ARE IN SHOCK... I'M THINKING IN ADOPT A CHILD IN THE FUTURE AND I'VE BEEN TOLD BY OTHER PEOPLE THAT HAVE ADOPTED BABIES THAT YOU MOST TRY NO TO HIDE FOR MUCH TIME THE TRUTH LIKE IN THE PAST MANY FAMILIES NEVER TOLD THEIR KIDS AND IT WAS A FAMILY SECRET.. (IT HAPPENED IN MY FAMILY). SO CHEER UP!
- Aug 04, 2006
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Crap, a Lamentation I can't make fun of.
Ask yourself if it truly matters whether you are genetically related to your parents. Would that make any difference if you had never known?
- Aug 04, 2006
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You said that you are happy. Isn't that enough?
I can't say that I know how you feel, coz I haven't been in your situation but I do know that what you fear could be wrong.
If your mother abandoned you, as you said, she must have her reasons, but... Haven't you thought that one of those reasons could have been that she wanted you to have a better and nicer life than the one she could have never given you?
In a certain way, she was wrong but, at the same time she did a good job. Now, you live with a family full of love and you ARE happy! If your family didn't want you they would have done the same your mother did, but they didn't. They love you and take care of you and all you have to feel abut it is gratitude. :)Thank you Farewell, My Master.
"It was nice for a while but it's time to say bye"
Administrator of: Ignore the others! -Nocturnal-MTs Moderator of: Ice-and-Snow Member of: Whatever - Hana Kimi love - BrokenWings-TrinityBlood - GetBackers - MAAC - Petzilla- Aug 07, 2006
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i always told myself that when i get married i want to adopt a kid becuz i feel sorry for them and i like to give them have a better life..........
- Aug 14, 2006
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It is very difficult to feel like you don't want your parents to be your parents. (Whether they are your real or adopted ones.) I know that I never wanted my father to be my father, but at the same time I craved to have a father's affection. I don't know what it is like to be adopted. I am sorry that I can not relate to you on that level. But I know that I feel a lot of times that I don't belong to the family that I have. Like I wasn't really meant to be with them and I was really supposed to have come from somewhere else. (Maybe that is just me hoping.) I feel trapped by my family sometimes because they are so different from me. I know that they love be but at the same time I know that they are so frustrated by me.
Well, I am sorry if I wasn't much of a help... but if you need someone to talk to I will listen. :)- Aug 14, 2006
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